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"Wake up, beautiful."

I moan a little when I feel someone's warm breath in my neck; napamulat ako nang makitang si Jerome 'yon. He buried his face in my neck while he's hugging me tight, like he doesn't want to let go of me.

"Are you still sore?" Mahina niyang bulong, I bite my lower lips, remembering what happened to us. Walang tigil na kastahan ang nangyari, it's like we're craving for each other. Tatlong taon na rin naman nakakalipas, we're thirsty that long.

"Medyo, nakailang rounds tayo kaya." Pagrereklamo ko, but I heard his soft chuckle and whispered to my ears, "Thank you for making love, ulit sakin po."

Napatitig ako sa kanya, I look at his eyes with full of gentleness. I bite my lower lips to stop myself from sobbing, but in the end, mahina akong nahagulgol sa dibdib niya. I feel his hand gently rub my back; it feels like everything is back- the way he comforted me; he's so warm. "Why are you crying?" He asked while his hands were still rubbing my back. "Namiss ko lang 'to." I miss how he talks to me in using his soft voice, how he talks to me like I'm his baby. Hearing this tone again of his voice made me soften.

"Namiss ko 'rin 'to, namiss ko lahat sayo." He looked at me while continuing to rub my back. "Bihis na, may pupuntahan tayo." I just watched him na umalis sa tabi ko; I saw how his back and biceps flex, nakakauahaw na naman. "I'll wait for you outside." Wala sa sarili akong napatango. I just zooned out for a moment, realizing we made love. So it does mean that we're okay?

After an hour of thinking while taking a bath, nagbihis na ako. I comb my long hair to the mirror, but he suddenly came in at inagaw ang suklay sakin. He didn't utter a word and just combed my long, wavy hair. "Hindi ko nagpa gupit?" Napatango ako sa pagtatanong niya, and then when I saw him looking at my reflection in the mirror, I smiled at him. "Cutting hair means moving on, Jerome," I explained. Instead of avoiding my gaze, he stared at me intensely, like he's trying to read my mind.

"I didn't cut my hair because you always told me you love my long hair." Three years passed; I never changed the things that he loves; instead of moving on, I always saw myself being caged to his love, mahirap umusad even when I met Khev.

I feel Jerome lips on the top of my head. "Do you remember this dress?" Pagiiba ko ng topic, I feel my eyes became teary.

He looks at my reflection in the mirror. I wear a purple off-shoulder that is above the knee, and it exposes my cleavage and collarbone. I saw how his lips pout. "Sexy mo naman baby." He complimented me and avoided my stare, maybe being shy when he calls me baby. Mahina akong napatawa; this is his gift before. I remember before he always bought me dresses; hindi ko na kailangan pang bumili, nagkukusa siya.

"Tara na nga." Pagrereklamo niya at tinalikuran na ako. Nakangusong na lang akong sinundan siya. I don't know where we are going; I just follow him na sumakay sa taxi. Like a little kid, I just rest my head in the window and appreciate the beauty of Okinawa. 15 minutes drive when the taxi finally stops.

Excited akong lumabas sa taxi when I saw a sea, tanaw na tanaw ko rin ang malaking bato! Ang gandaa! "This is Manzamo baby, tara na." I can't help my eyes twinkle to appreciate the beauty of what he called Manzamo. He felt his warm hands holding mine at maingat akong hinihila. He guides me paakyat ng malaking bato. And when we're on top, I appreciate it more. Sumalubonh samin ang ginaw ng hangin, at magandang kulay ng kalangitan.

I can't help but smile. The sun dipped below the horizon, and the sun set, painting the sky in colors. A gentle breeze carried the ocean's scent. At this place-Manzamo, standing on the clifftop overlooking the sea-I felt amazed. "Are we going to watch the sunset, ba?" I asked excitedly. I saw him nod. I just stared at him and followed his moves. Nakita kong umupo sa damuhan, kaya ganon din ang ginawa ko. He leans his back to a big rock. He closes his eyes; maybe he feels the cold air in Manzamo. I smiled while staring at him. It feels nostalgic seeing him like this; it's like we're back from the day we first met.

.
"Bumalik ka pa sa Sagada after we break up?" I daw how he opened his eyes; he slowly nodded his head. "Hmm, palagi kitang hinihintay ron." I smiled sadly at him. I never go again to our favorite place, but I always long to go there because I know he will wait for me there. "Bakit hindi ka na pumunta ron?" I avoided his gaze and looked at the sun na malapit ng lumubogg konting oras na lang, I will watch the sunset again with him.

"Ayoko nga, edi pag nakita kita hinabol lang kita agad." Mahina akong napatawa nang makitang kumunot ang noo niya, siguro nauurat 'to sa pinagsasabi ko. Pero sana pumunta na lang ako agad, nakakabaliw ang epekto na makita siya ulit. "How are you in the past three years without your little headache?" I pout while waiting for his response, but he just closes his eyes.

"You're not a headache, Ashley. Ikaw ang pinaka magandang nangyari sa buhay ko." I smiled softly hearing those words, because the same as him, he's the most beautiful thing that happens in my life. I'm so thankful that I met him; I never regret meeting him, even though our relationship is on edge.

"Three years, hindi ako mag sinunggaling. I struggle without you beside me, limang taon tayo nasanay ako sayo. Sa lahat ng bagay lagi kitang naalala, I try to cage myself in our apartment; I just want to remember every part of you. Pero naalala ko, you want me to become better without you. I fix myself, Leyley, I fix myself for you. Para kapag okay na pwede na maging akin ulit, maayos na ako. I am better man when you will meet me again."

I bite my lower lips when I feel hot tears rolling in my cheeks. Umusod ako sa tabi niya and embrace him. I slowly rub his back while we're both crying at each other's shoulder. It was still painful, remembering what we have experienced without each other's side. Nasanay kami eh, nasanay kami na limang taon mag kasama; it was painful na mawala yung taong kakampi mo sa lahat ng bagay. "I also struggle, Jerome. I also fix myself for you, katulad mo. I also want to be the woman that you really deserved, kapag akin ka na ulit." I learn things that are perfect for him, I mean cooking, cleaning, and becoming strong. I fix myself; hindi ko lang alam bakit nag kagulo, bakit humantong kami sa ganto? We promised each other. But both of us break the promise we made.

"Nung mabalitaan kong may bago ka na, masakit. Sobrang sakit eh, hindi ko makayanan yung sakit. But I let you, hinayaan kitang maging masaya, kasi baka babalik ka parin sakin? Baka gusto mo lang ng pampalipas oras? Gusto mo yung may lalambing sayo, yung may kasama ka? Pero halos dinurog puso ko nung malaman na ikakasal ka na. Invited pa talaga ako sa kasal ng pinaka minamahal ko, hindi ko kinaya makita kang naka wedding gown, kasi ako dapat yung groom mo. Ako dapat yon eh, bakit iba? Ako dapat yon Ley." He was sobbing so hard in my shoulder, and I can't help but to also cry. It broke my heart hearing those words: parang ang tagal-tagal niyang inipon lahat. It was painful hearing your love being in pain.

"Sorry papa, sorry. Ikaw dapat yon, hindi ko na alam masyado ng magulo papa, masyado akong nilamon sa alam kong masaya ka sa iba, kaya pinilit kong maging masaya na lang din sa taong hindi ko mahal. Pinilit kong magpakasal sa kanya, kasi alam kong okay ka na. Ayon ang alam kong makaka usad ako, yung magpakasal na lang sa iba. Hindi ko alam na nasasaktan ka, hindi ko alam na ako parin pala." I thought he found someone else. I thought he's already happy; I thought his love fades when our relationship is on the edge. Akala ko may bago na. "But on the day of what was supposed to be my wedding, I saw you. You're still smiling at me; I know those eyes, Jerome. You are acting like you are happy for me. But it was all pain." That day I realized that on the day of my wedding, no one would replace me. He never found someone else; it was me-it's always me. I saw a glint of confusion in his eyes, but I just look at him sadly.

"It was two years ago. It was eleven months since we broke up. I thought maybe we get another chance together. But I saw you with someone else; wala lang nakita ko kasi na ano you laugh with her, and I saw you fixing her hair like she's the most precious thing in your eyes, Jerome." When I saw that scene, it was painful, of course. I thought kaya pa, pwede pa, but when I saw that, nawala lahat ng kapal ng mukha ko. I saw him stare at me intensely; he smiled bitterly. "It was misunderstanding, mama." He said softly, daahilan para mapasimangot ako sa kanya, it was "mama." Again, my heart can't help but jump a little.

"I laugh with her; it was true, mama." My eyes widened, then I glared at him, "tamo! Kita mong pinagseselosan ko yon." He smiled, then he let my head rest on his shoulder. "That time mama, girlfriend na siya ng tropa ko. She's telling me mama about sa tropa ko nakalimutan ko na po kung ano yon, pero alam ko kagaguhan yon mama." I just nodded my head, then buried my face to his neck. I sniff his smell, and I remember how I'm so addicted to his smell. "About sa buhok mama, nakita ko kasi mama may kanin pa buhok niya." My eyes widened and I laughed softly, but my face is still on his neck.

"Mama, hindi ka nakikinig." Pagrereklamo niya, dahilan para mapanguso ako.Sorry papa, I misunderstood that po. Nanlalake pa tuloy ako." I saw how his eyes rolled, dahilan para mapatawa ako. "Hays papa, ayan tuloy nag ka rebound pa ako." But I shouldn't do that. "You smell my neck too much, baby." Lalo ko pang inamoy ang pabango niya, but instead of pushing me away, mas dinikit pa niya ako sa katawan niya, like he never wants me to let go.

"Curve parin pabango mo papa?" I asked, and he nodded his head, explaining why my eyes twinkled. He didn't change his perfume! Hala favorite ko yon ih! Sarap niyang amuyin, but my favorite smell is his natural scent; he's smell sooo nice without perfume.

"Baby, let's watch sunset first." Napatingin ako sa kalangitan, I saw the sun almost vanish in the sky. I can't help but smile; it was beautiful. A beautiful ending to this day. I slowly closed my eyes and prayed silently.

"I know God you heard me, thank you for this day. Thank you for giving me a chance to have him again, to talk to him again, to embrace him again. Kung meron man pasasalamatan mo rito, ikaw yon papa God. You gave me this man again, thank you po. I never let myself lose him again, God. Thank you po."

When I open my eyes, then the sun finally gone. The sky just became orange and yellow, na parang unti-unting dumidilim. I smiled when I felt Jerome's finger in my cheeks; he'swiping my tears. "Mama, let's try again, po?" I stared at his eyes, his softness back. I saw his emotions again; they were full of gentleness and softness.

"Please? I want to try again, mama. This is my dream, po, to be with you again. Please let's try again." I can't help but sob again, but this time he embraces me, and I sob to his chest.

"Yes, papa koo, let's try again, po."

It was a dream come true; the Manzamo is our witness to how we risk again, how we try again, and how he says these words again...

"I love you so much, mama. Mula noon at sa hanggang ngayon, sobrang mahal na mahal kita."

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Manzamo