VIII

A wave of warmth, both literal and emotional, washed over me as I couldn't help but bite my lower lips. Finally, I arrived in Japan after 11 hours of waiting and 5 hours of flight. Hindi ko mapigilan napangiti. I'm going to pursue him now.

Napapikit ako nang maramdaman ang mainit na klima, I decide to have a little walk para malibang ang mata ko. Lakad at lakad lang ang ginawa ko habang hila-hila ang maleta ko. If I'm not mistaken, I'm here in Okinawa, Japan. Nakikita ko ang mga bahay at mga naglalakihang gusali; it looks like Manila, but the difference is the fresh air. Ramdam ko ang sariwa ng hangin.

Nang tamarin na ako sa paglalakad, kaagad akong sumakay sa taxi para hihatid ako sa isang condo. Napapanganga na lang ako kapag kinakausap ako ng taxi driver, ang daldal hindi ko naman maiintindihan pang ching-chong niya. When the taxi stop agad ako nag bayad and vow my head a little like I watch in kdramas, "gamsahamnida." I saw a confused look on the driver's face, but I just smiled, Hindi niya maiintindihan yon korean yon ih.

Kaagad akong pumasok sa isang building, walang hinto-hinto kaagad na akong sumakay sa elevator. Alam ko kung saan ako pupunta, before I arrived here in Japan, everything was set up where I will live for the mean time; hindi ko maiwasang mapangiti nang sa Isang iglap nakatayo na ako sa harap ng isang condo; it was room sixty-nine (69). I knock three times; habang nakasimangot na naghihintay.

My eyes twinkled when the doors opened, but as soon as I saw a familiar man, my lips trembled, and the last thing I knew, I hugged him while sobbing in his arms.

"Ashley..."

Toneless, that was how I described the way he called me; it was dull, but still, I hug him tight; not hugging him this tight is a regret during our relationship. I wish mas humawak pa ako, I wish I hugged him more tight so that I couldn't let myself let go.

"Bitaw," I bite my lower lips when I feel him push me away from him. I stared at his eyes, but he just avoided my gaze. "Look at me, just like before, Jerome, please?" I whispered, but he just stared at me with so much coldness, like he didn't want me to be here.

"Hanggang kailan ka rito?" He asked codly. I slightly pouted and told him, "Months lang." I saw him nod, Saka ako tinalikuran. Napabusangot na lang ako at saka pinasok ang maleta ko sa loob. My eyes couldn't help but be amazed when I saw the condo; it was painted white, and the things here are organized. Yung sala may maliit lang na sofa, and there's a table in the center that has a vase na ang bulaklak ay tulips; it was yellow tulips. Just like before, how I decorate our apartment ng isang vase na may lila na tulips.

Hanggang kailan ka rito? "He asked codly, I slightly pout and told him "months lang." I saw him nod, saka ako tinalikuran. Napabusangot na lang ako at saka pinasok ang maleta ko sa loob. My eyes can't help but be amazed when I saw the condo; it was painted in white, and the things here are organized. Yung sala may maliit lang na sofa, and there's a table on the center that has a vase na ang bulaklak ay tulips; it was yellow tulips. Just like before, how I decorate our apartment ng isang vase na may lila na tulips.

"Baka magulat ka bakit ako nandito ah? Nagbabakasyon lang ako, wala lang matirhan." Pagpapaliwanag ko, he just nodded at tinalikuran na naman ako. Loh hindi naman niya ako tinatalikuran dati? But I remembered how I asked for ate's help; this is her condo, and Jerome decided daw to live in her condo. I asked ate for a favor. Palihim akong dumila sa likod niya, "blehh," I said in a low voice. Bleh talaga ate is on my side.

"Sa sala ka matutulog." Hindi ko mapigilang mapa kunot ang noo, ako sa sala? Tapos siya sa kwarto? "Tabi na lang tayo!" Pagrereklamo ko, nakita ko ang mariin niyang pag iling. "Tabi tayo sige na, parang hindi naman tayo nagtatabi rati." I saw how he harshly shut his eyes. "Ayoko." Napanganga na lang ako nang pumasok na siya sa kwarto at sinarhan ako ng pinto.

"Makukuha rin kita ulit," I said with whole confidence. Walang iiyak ngayon, I will make sure he's mine again.

All day I just spent my day laying at the sofa, waiting for him, but there's no sign of Jerome here in the living room. Reason why I decide to knock on his door: "Miss na kita Jerome, labas ka na dyan." I slightly pout when he doesn't answer my knock, kaya puro katok lang ang ginawa ko until he opens the door.

"Ano?" My eyes twinkled when I saw his face; gulo pa ang buhok niya and kunot pa ang noo. After three years, he didn't change the way he looked; ang nagbago lang ngayon how he looked at me with coldness in his eyes. "Namiss kita," napangiti ako nang makitang emosyon sa mata niya; his eyes are exclaiming of happiness, but he just came back from being emotionless two seconds passed. "Kung wala kang kailangan, wag kang mang istorbo." Before he closed the door again, tinulak ko yon pabukas.

"Pa hug ako! Ang ginaw rito sa Japan, eh!" Pagrereklamo ko at agad na tumalon papunta sa kanya. Just like before, siniksik ko ang mukha ko sa leeg niya. I sniffed his fragrance; it was a manly fragrance. Na pag naamoy mo, you will be crazy to smell it again, especially kapag aamuyin ko siya sa leeg niya. "Bitaw na please." I heard his little voice pleading, but mas lalo kong binaon yung sarili ko sa kanya.

"Namiss kita sobra. Days, months, and years without you is more chaos." I whispered. I wanted to cry to his shoulder, but I choose to be strong this time. I lose him because I'm weak. I want to be strong and brave this time. "May asawa ka na Ashley." I heard his harsly response na parang hindi makapaniwala ngayon sa mga sinasabi ko. "I runaway to my wedding," I whispered to him, but next thing I knew, malayo na ako sa kanya dahil binuhat niya ako papalayo sa kanya. "Summer ngayon sa Japan, stop making excuses."

"Please? Wag mo kong yakapin ng ganon, I'm in the state of moving on Ashley. Seing you is already hurting me."

Next morning I wake up with a blanket on my body; I'm sure he's the one who did this. It's been a week now, and the progress is still zero madalas iniiwasan talaga niya ako. At sa Isang linggo, I gave him space after I saw the pain in his eyes. Mariin akong pakagat sa labi ko. I cried last night till I fell asleep. Tumayo ako sa kama at dahan-dahang pumasok sa kwarto ni Jerome. I saw him hugging his pillow tight, like he didn't want to let that pillow go. Sana pala unan na lang ako mwhihi.

Dahan-dahan ang naging paggalaw ko nang makarating ako sa kama niya; I know na sobrang bilis niya magising, but unexpectedly, nang makuha ko ang unan sa tabi niya ay nanatili parin siyang tulog. Puyat siguro 'to kagabi. "Sorry, I made chaos again in your heart. Gusto ko lang bumawi," I whispered while staring at his face. Mapait akong napangiti.

Maingat akong humiga sa tabi niya and gave him the warmest hug I could give. I saw how his eyes move like they're about to open, but pinatili lang niyang sarado. "Magpasalamat ka inaantok pa ko." Mahinang bulong niya as I feel his face na siniksik sa leeg ko. I smiled while tapping his back.

"Thank you; I miss this."

I miss this moment, when I feel safe in his embrace. My heart and mind healed because of how warm his embrace is.


"Tayo na dyan."

Napamulat ako nang marinig ang boses ni Jerome, I saw him staring at me blankly at tila hinihintay akong bumangon sa kama. I shyly smiled at him, napasarap pala tulog ko! Tanghali na siguro!

Hinintay ko siyang magsalita sa pag higa ko sa tabi niya pero tinalikuran lang niya ako. Nakangusong akong sinundan siya, but I secretly smiled when I saw him wearing a blue pajama. I remembered before I influence him wearing pajama, I buy him pair of pajama's, sometimes a pajama that matchs mine.

"Umorder ka na lang ng pagkain." Napasimangot na lang ako, "magluto ka kaya." He gave me nonchalant look and mariin na umiling, "why would I?" I miss how he always cooks for me. He's busy to his work but always have time to cook for me, he knows before how much cooking hate me. "Ako na lang magluluto." I declared pero kunot na noo lang ang natanggap na parang hindi siya naniwala sakin!

Nakasimangot tuloy akong pumunta sa kusina and ready the ingredients I have. I saw him sit on my back like he's ready to judge me. "Watch and learn asawa ko." I secretly giggled when I called him that, I saw his face turned blank, sus kilig lang yan siya eh.

"Hindi ako marunong mag marinate." I said in low voice, I saw him raising his eyebrow at agad pumunta sa tabi ko. Kinuha niya ang manok sa ref, and nilagay niya yon sa bowl I saw how he add some knorr liquid seasoning then cover it. "Adobo lulutuin mo diba?" I smiled at him, obvious naman ata dahil sa ingredients na nilabas ko. "Yes yes, favorite mo lovee lovee." I saw him rolled his eyes, "stop calling me cat names, Ashley." But I just replied at him with a "blehh."

"Ang pogi mo." I suddenly said while staring at his face. His featured became more matured, he's now twenty eight, he already have this daddy vibes. "Hmm?" I slightly pout when I heard his reply, para namang inuungulan ako nito. But seriously, his eyes became more deeper, the way he looks became more intese. He already have a defined jaw, and a more muscular biceps, I can see base on his shirt na humahapit sa katawan niya that he's now fit.

"Sarap mo naman." I commented, kasi totoo naman. Titigan palang niya ng sarap na, pati kiffy ko nasasarap kimi. "Stop, tapos na one hour mo. Magluto ka na." Napasimangot na lang ako, ang bilis naman! Naghihintay ako ng isang oras since the chicken is still marinated, isang oras ko na pala siyang inuuto.

The pan sizzled to life as I heated it over medium-high heat, a splash of oil adding a shimmering sheen to the surface. With a graceful motion, I gently laid the marinated chicken sa pan, the meat sizzling and browning to perfection under my watchful gaze as I can't help to smirk at him, tama yan ma amazed ka.

The air filled with the rich aroma of crushed black pepper and garlic as I added those flavorful ingredients to the sizzling chicken. A hint of anticipation lingered in the kitchen as I poured the vinegar over the meat, the tangy scent mingling with the savory notes of the dish. "Wow na wow talaga ang bango!" I decided to compliment myself na lang, nakatitig lang sakin si Jerome kakahiya naman. I can already smell the adobong puti, nagugutom na ko agad.

With a gentle stir, I allowed the ingredients to meld and simmer, the flavors infusing the chicken with a depth of taste that promised culinary delight. After fifteen minutes passed, I let the Adobong Puti simmer, the tantalizing aroma filling the kitchen with a promise of a sumptuous meal to come. "Nganga ka." I commanded, at kumuha ng isang spoon I add chicken and sabaw sa spoon. I saw Jerome gently open his mouth, mahina kong inipan ang laman ng kutsara then put the food on his mouth.

"Masarap?" I asked while he's chewing, I can't read his reaction, I don't know if masarap kinakabahan tuloy pagkatao ko! "Yes." He replied that made my eyes twinkled, sana matikman ko sa labi niya yung adobo.

"Did Khev teach you how to cook?" He suddenly asked, mabilis akong umiling. I remember Khev didn't know how to cook. "Noo, nag-aral ako mag-isa magluto." I replied pero kunot na noo na naman ang sagot niya sakin, he stared at me again using his intense stares, "do you always cook for him?" Mahina akong napatawa, seselos ata ag baby na 'to.

"Hindi rin, he didn't know I know how to cook. Lagi kaming umoorder lang kapag magkasama kami, and madalas nasa bahay siya ng magulang niya. And dagdag information lang, we never lived together baka isipin mo ano." Mahaba kong pagpapaliwanag, I saw a glint of satisfaction in his eyes but immediately change it to blank.

"Madami kang sinasabi." Instead of being annoyed I smiled at him, I want to hug him again.

"Alam mo natuto akong magluto para sayo." I saw how he raised his eyebrow like asking me what I'm saying. "I learn to cook for you, three years ago baka kasi sakaling bumalik ka sakin kaya na kitang ipagluto."

I bite my lips to stop my tears wanted to show, it was three years ago I learn things for him. Para pag ayos na ulit lahat, I will come back to him as a whole and better person. But it didn't happened.

"Hmm? Nagawa mo nga akong ipagpalit. You never made your promise came true Ashley."

"You are the first one who broke your promise, Jerome."