III

"Hi beshy kooo!"

Malayo palang ako ay rinig na rinig na magiliw kong bati, when I stop infront of him nakita ko ang gulat sa mukha niya sunod na niyang pinakawalan ang tawa niya.

"Grabe ang pagka hyper ah," komento niya but I smiled at him widely showing him my perfect bunny teeth. "Syempre Jerong beshy ko!" Full of energy kong sambit, "Jerong?" He asked then I nodded proudly, ang ganda-ganda nung nickname ko sa kanya, but then I secretly glared at him when I heard his laugh. Nukakatawa? Baliw ba 'to?

"Ang bantot," pagrereklamo niya pero tawa parin naman siya nang tawa. "Ganda-ganda eh Jerong, parang ano may something wrong tenene." He continue laughing but this time he's laughing hard na parang isang malaking joke ako sa mundo. Bagay talaga sa kanya yung nickname parang may something wrong nga si beshy ko. "How about Ley? Like watch me ley ley," napabusangot ako sa sinabi niya baliw naman nito but I can't help na tumawa rin.

I stop laughing and stare at him, who's still laughing hard. It feels so odd when I see him laughing; sa nag daang linggo na kasama ko siya, I see him being gloomy. It's been two weeks already, but then I remember one time when I came here again.

"Miss ko na siya," napatingin ako sa kanya sa biglaan niyang sinabi. We are still watching sunset tapos biglaang mag re-relapse baliw ata 'tong si Jerum. "I miss her, balik na sana siya sakin," pagpapatuloy niya na parang iiyak na siya.

"Miss ko na rin siya eh." Pakikisabay ko sa trip niya sa buhay, siya naman ngayon ay nakatingin sakin ng kunot noo. "May nami-miss ka?" He's asking like a curious cat. "Aba syempre meron, ikaw lang ba pwedeng may ma-miss dito ah!" Gigel kong sabi, pero ngayon ay sunod-sunod na tawa na ang pinakawalan niya. "High blood ka na naman." Komento niya dahilan ng pag-irap ko.

"Naalala ko tuloy siya baliw ka kasi eh. Miss ko na rin tuloy siya," I said and acting like a broken hearted. "Miss ko na cold chat niya, tas yung I miss you niya na imy lang na parang joke lang yung sinasabi niya fuck you na yon." Gigel kong wika nang maalala ko yung ka talking stage ko nung nakaraang buwan. "Okay wag na mag relapse," he said while laughing like there's no tomorrow, sana oll baliw.

"Ley? Grabe ka naman makatingin akin." I was back in reality when I heard Jerum asking me if I am okay lang. "Pinapatay na kita sa utak ko wag kang magulo." I saw him smiled widely at umiling-uling.

"Ley, gusto kitang maging kaibigan." Napataas ang kilay ko sa sinabi niya, "gusto mo lang ata may kasama kang mag relapse." Nakita ko na agad siyang umiling habang mahinang tumatawa. "Noo, gusto talaga kitang maging kaibigan. Nung una palang kaso wala ako sa mood magsalita nung una." Inirapan ko na lang siya, may ubo siguro siya pero nasa brain tenenene. "Magkaibigan na tayo, baby." Kunot noo niya akong tingnan na parang nagulat at nagtatanong na kung para saan ang pagtawag ko sa kanya ng baby.

"Bagong cs yon ng magkaibigan, baby." He just laughed to my imbento, kanina pa siya tawa nang tawa happiness ata ako nito. "Lagi ka ba talagang pumupunta rito?" He suddenly asked, "Saan ba? Here sa sagada?" Pagbabalik ko nang tanong and gave me back the question again, "Sagada?"

"I call this place a sagada; it means comfort; you feel safe; when life is tiring, this is the place where you want to come." I smiled while watching the sea waves like they are dancing and the "hush" of the sea that calms my system. And the clouds, the birds, and the sky are like telling me that they will comfort me by showing me how beautiful they are. "Hmm Sagada, magandang pangalan." He whispered while staring at me.

"But to my question, lagi ka ba talagang pumupunta rito? He asked again, as I hid my pout. "Pumupunta lang ako rito para manood ng sunset," I answered, but I realized it's not the sunset anymore, which is why I'm always here.

I'm always here to see him, to talk to him, and to smile with him.

"Jerum!"

I smiled widely when I saw him. I was energetically came in front of him and stared into his mesmerizing eyes. He's wearing his favorite blue shirt, while he's wearing shorts that are above his knee. I watch his expression; his eyes are still on me as I see him chew his lower lips, maybe trying not to smile. "Naka milo ka na naman ba?" He asked, but then again I smiled and nodded my head. Pinakita ko sa kanya tapos ang basket na dala ko.

"What's that?" He asked curiosly. Kaagad akong nilabas sa basket ang tela na uupuan namin sa lapag para maayos kaming nakakaupo! I used a red velvet cotton fabric mat para comfortable ang pagkakaupo namin. I looked at his expression again, and I saw amusement in his eyes.

"Upo naaaa!" Masaya kong sambit at hinila siya sa tabi ko. He sat beside me dahilan para parehas na kaming naka indian sit, nakanguso kong tingnan ang suot ko. I'm still wearing a brown pajama and a white shirt. Halata palang kakagising ko lang! Tapos deretso agad ako rito isipin pa nito excited akong makapunta rito! "Don't be shy; you always came here na naka pajama," he commented when he saw me shyly hugging myself. "How old are you, Ley? And your year?" He suddenly asked, which made me pout. I forgot asking about that something personal.

"Sixteen, graduating fourth year," I simply said, and I saw him smile a little. "I'm twenty, second year of college this year." Mahina akong napa "tanga" nang marinig ko ang sinabi niya. Basically, he's my kuya! Age doesn't matter, naman diba? Pero kahit naa! "Gurang!" Walang sahol kong komento, nakita ko naman ang pag simangot niya. "And you're still a little baby." He said that made me slightly pout, me little baby? Baby niya hihi-pero edi wow sa kanya!

"Ulol dapat ba kitang tawaging kuya?" Napataas kilay kong tanong pero umiling siya ka aagad sakin. "Mas gusto ko 'to, age doesn't matter; I mean, you're free to talk whatever you want, Ley. Don't think na mas matanda ako sayo, mag beshy tayo diba?" He asked, which made me nod.

"Yes, mag beshy tayo!"

It was a routine, a never-ending cycle, but the happiest thing I ever did was always coming back to Sagada to see him. I thought in my mind I was just loving the fact that I met a new friend of mine, a friend that for the first time I feel comfortable with his presence by my side. But I didn't even notice I was becoming too comfortable in his presence.

"Bakit nakasimangot ka?"

I was taken back to reality when I felt goosebumps hearing his voice na malapit sa tenga ko. I smiled widely while looking at him. Siya ang sagot sa problema ko!

"Are you free this eleven o'clock in the evening? I want to ask you, Sana Jerum, if you can be my partner. And if you want to come to graduation, ko?" I asked in the cutest way. He stared at me, and he looked hesitating. It's my first time asking someone, para lang naman kasi 'to sa hs ball namin pagtapos nung graduation, I don't want someone with whom I'm not comfortable to be my partner naman kasi! "Hindi ko alam kung makakapunta ako, pero siguro susubukan ko." That was the last thing he said as I saw myself standing now in the mirror, checking my reflection.

As I saw myself now on the stage wearing a toga, I shyly smiled at the camera when I saw some flashes. "Ashley Realonzo, may karangalan." My father is the one who placed the medel in my neck as I smiled at my father, who's smiling at me too. I know he's proud of me. I slightly pout when I didn't see a person I wanted to be here. Pero may event pa naman mamaya, ron ko naman siya niyaya!

I am now wearing a black turtleneck na that on the top of it is a green sando dress and a perfect pair of white shoes. It was simple for the ball; I don't like wearing stuff that will make me stand out, but it's too uncomfortable. Kaagad kong sinuklay ang mahabang itim kong buhok, and put an eyeliner sa gilid ng mata ko to look like my eyes became more singkit.

When I came to the event, everyone looked beautiful; mga naka gown pa akala mo red carpet ng ABS-CBN ang pupuntahan. "Ashley? Malapit na mag sayawan teh ano na? Saan partner mo?" I bite my lower lips when my friend-Cha asked me, Hindi na lang ako umimik. But I silently prayed, Na sana dumating siya. The lights turn off, at naging dim na lang. My eyes suddenly filled with tears when the song started.

Heart beats fast

Colors and promises

How to be brave

How can I love when I'm afraid to fall

But watching you stand alone

All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow

" Hush, nandito na ko."

Everything felt unreal when he is now in front of me; he's looking at me intensely. It was the same stare he gave to me-those eyes that made me melt. "Sorry, Ley, na late ako," he said in a soft voice that made me nod and accept his apology right away. "Tara na sayaw." Nakasimangot kong sabi para mawala ang kung ano mang masamang elemento ang nararamdaman ko.

"Marunong ka bang sumayaw?" He asked, but I stopped. Hindi rin ako marunong, kaya agad kaming nagtawanan dalawa, hindi pala kami parehas marunong. "Saka na lang tayo sumayaw," I declared, but we're still standing in the middle looking at each other. Ang tangkad pala niya, dibdib lang niya ako, maybe he's 6'0? I scanned his outfit; he is wearing a green shirt-tinernuhan pa ata ako nito-and a blue trouser. It's a simple outfit, but it's perfectly fit sa kanya. Ang pogi ng outfitan. But I can't see his face clearly, yung dim light sagabal!

"Nasa graduation mo ko." Napakunot naman ang noo ko sa sinabi niya, edi bakit late siya ngayon?! "Na late ako kasi nakalimutan ko yung bibigay ko sayo sa bahay." Parehas kaming napasimangot, medyo tanga ang beshy ko ah.

"This is my little gift for you, Ley." My eyes twinkled when he gave me a small brown teddy bear. I hold it like it was the cutest thing I saw in my entire life.

"Ulol, nakuha mo lang ata 'to sa claw machine tapos binigay mo lang sakin?" Pagrereklamo ko to hide the mixed emotions I felt. It was a simple gift, but it made my heart melt. I appreciate it. "Hindi nga ako marunong non." Nakasimangot niyang sagot dahilan para mahina akong mapatawa. We both stop when the lights suddenly turn on as I see his face.

Nagbabadya ang hangin na nakapalibot sa'kin.

Tila merong pahiwatig ako'y nananabik.

'Di naman napilitan kusa na lang naramdaman.

Ang 'di inaasahang pag-ugnay ng kalawakan.

I pouted when the song played; I saw his face clearly. I studied his expression, and I can see he is feeling tense.

"Magdadalawang buwan na pala tayo mag beshy." He cleared his throat while ahing those words. I stared at him when he suddenly opened up a topic. Why he stared at me in this intense way, ba? "Oo nga! Dalawang buwan na ako nagtitiis sayo!" Kunyareng pagrereklamo ko, but I didn't realize, time really that fast. It's really been two months now since I consistently went to Sagada just to see this man.

Ibon sa paligid umaawit-awit

Natutulala sa nakakaakit-akit mong tinatangi

Napapangiti mo ang aking puso

"Ang ganda mo ngayon," imbis matuwa parang gusto ko pa siyang sabunutan. "Dapat everyday yan, nangigel ako sayo." I pout when he seems confused, but he laughs when he realizes what he said.

"Sorry po, what I mean is ang ganda mo ngayon. But you always look beautiful, lalo na kapag naka pajama ka pa na pumupunta sakin." I saw how his eyes twinkled; maybe he's remembering the time I always go to him wearing my pjs.

"Nasa sagada ako palagi para magpakalma, makalimot habang nanood ng paglubog ng araw." I smiled; it was the same reason as mine. "Hanggang sa gusto ko na lang pumunta ron para mapagmasdan ka. I want to see your smile; it's like drugs that can't get off my mind." My eyes widened, anong pinagsasabi nito?

Giliw, 'di mapigil ang bugso ng damdamin ko.

Mukhang mapapa-amin mo amin mo

Giliw nagpapahiwatig na sa'yo.

Ang damdamin kong

Napagtanto na...

"Gusto kita."

It was magical when those words came from his mouth. I shut my eyes. "Gusto rin kita."