A week and a half later, I had nothing to show for my efforts at playing Nancy Drew. I'd searched everywhere for Emily's Book of Shadows. Nothing. I'd scoured the attic, torn through the basement, and had ransacked the old tree house in the woods behind our house. The only thing I found was dirt and spider webs. Feeling useless and frustrated, I made my way to the cemetery.

Dad must have been here earlier. A bouquet of carnations decorated the grave. They had always been her favorite flower. I traced her name. She'd died three years ago today. October 15th. Tragic accident. Tragic accident my ass. No, my sister had been murdered, but I couldn't prove it.

"I'm so sorry, Ems," I whispered. "I'm trying, but I can't find it."

The wind whistled through the trees, a sad mournful sound. There was no other answer. I didn't expect one. She'd given me the only clues she could. It was up to me to solve the mystery and find her book. But where? I'd looked in all the obvious places with no luck. I'd even climbed up into the old tree she'd fallen out of and broken her arm. I thought I knew all her hidey holes, but apparently not.

"You were right, Emily, about everything. It's not nonsense. I went to Meg's initiation ceremony. I felt everything you said I would. I want to explain it all away, but I can't. It was too real. I felt them, the Elements. They greeted me when I entered the circle and then they went through me twice more during the ceremony. I can't even describe what it felt like. It was amazing and scary as hell. I'm sorry I didn't believe you. So sorry."

I'd thought long and hard about that night. The things I'd seen and felt couldn't be swept away by logic. They were real. I couldn't deny it anymore. She'd be so happy that I'd finally started to believe in the power of the Elements. I just wished she were here so I could hear her say I told you so.

"I miss you so much, Ems. There's so much going on, but more than anything, I really wish you could tell me what to do about Ethan."

"So do I."

My head snapped up. He stood there, not more than ten feet from me. How did he do that? Sneaking up on me seemed to be a habit of his. As usual he looked yummy and it was all I could do to remember to breathe. He was wearing a pair of faded jeans and his Hard Rock Café tee shirt – my favorite. It hugged his muscles and showed every ripple of his abs when he moved. His hair hung in gentle waves around his face and his eyes, his eyes looked haunted and worn.

"What are you doing here?" I asked him quietly. Damn, but why did he have to look so good? My own personal M&M come to torture me.

"Looking for you," he answered and came to sit down across from me. The position was identical to the one we'd been in last time we'd met here. "You're a hard woman to find, Cassie Jayne Bishop. I've been waiting here every day this week, hoping you'd show up. I knew you'd come today."

"You think you know me so well?"

"I do." He smiled that slow, lazy smile that sent waves of heat pounding through me and caused a slow burn to make its way up my neck only to bloom into my cheeks. Why could he do this to me?

"You don't know me at all," I told him and tried to get up. His hand shot out and grabbed mine. His touch burned like a brand on my skin. "Let go," I bit out.

"No. You're not getting away this time, Cassie." His own voice was low and angry. "We need to talk. I want to explain..."

"I don't want to hear it," I snapped. "Besides, there's nothing you can say."

"You're right. There's nothing I can say to excuse what I did, but I am sorry."

"Sorry!" I yelled, furious. All the hurt and anger boiled over. "Sorry that you lied to me or sorry you got caught doing it?"

"I didn't mean to hurt you. I agreed to do it before I knew you, before I kissed you, before I fell in love with you!"

"What?" He didn't just say what I thought he said, did he? My heart clenched up and then started beating way too fast. I wanted so badly to believe him, but how could I?

"You have to let me explain, Cassie, please."

"You're lying, Ethan. You don't love me."

"Cassie..."

"NO!" I jerked my hand free and scrambled back. "I'm not going to listen to your BS. I can't believe I fell for it to begin with." I stood up. "Leave me alone."

He jumped up and took a step toward me.

I held up my hand to ward him off. "Stay away from me. I can't think when you touch me."

"Good."

He moved closer.

I ran.

I didn't make it five feet before he tackled me, turning so his back hit the ground first and then he rolled us over, pinning me beneath him. Crap. I felt every inch of that body pressed into mine. My breathing hitched up a notch and I wanted to get closer, feel his lips on mine. I missed him so much. I needed...NO!

"Hold still, you little hellcat," he growled as I twisted and bucked, trying to push him off.

"Get off me!" I shouted and tried to knee him.

"Oh no you don't, sweetheart," he whispered and pinned my legs with his own. "You're going to listen to me."

"The hell I will. If you don't get off me right now, I'm going to scream bloody murder."

"Go ahead," he said grimly. "There's no one around to hear you."

He was right. I hadn't seen anyone else when I came into the cemetery. I realized if he wanted to hurt me, he could. Ethan was much bigger than me and he had me pinned, but I didn't really believe he'd physically hurt me. He'd been too angry with Dad for hurting me. Then again, I still needed to get away from him and I was really pissed, so I did the only thing I could. I hauled off and hit him in the face as hard as I could, thumb outside my fist just like Dad had shown me. My hand vibrated in pain and shock. It was so worth it, though.

"Dammit!" He grabbed both my hands and pinned them above my head. "What did you do that for?"

"You deserved it! Now. Get. Off. Me."

"Cassie, please, please, please just listen."

I opened my mouth to make a smartass remark and then I saw his eyes. They were dark, almost black with anguish. He was hurting. I saw the depth of my pain reflected out of his eyes.

"Fine, I'll listen," I whispered.

He rested his forehead against mine and blew out a strangled breath. "Thank you."

"It's not like I can go anywhere," I grouched.

"No," he grinned. "I've got you at my mercy."

Then he kissed me.

My world exploded with the touch of those lips. I forgot I was mad, forgot I was pinned to the ground, forgot everything but the way he made me feel. He pulled away and buried his face in the crook of my shoulder. "I missed you."

I wanted to cry. He'd broken my heart. Just hearing the sound of his voice hurt and when he kissed me, made me remember what he could make me feel, I wanted to curl up and die from the pain. He'd hurt me more than even I realized.

"Why?" I asked him. "Why did you do it?"

"I don't know," he said and raised his head to look at me. "It was stupid. Billy and Jeff told me about how you didn't believe in witchcraft and that no one could get you to go to a meeting. I was new and figured if I could get you to go, I'd make a place for myself here. I just wanted to fit in, Cassie."

"At my expense."

"Yes," he nodded. "I didn't know you then. You were just this cute girl who blushed every time I looked at her. The more time I spent with you, the more I felt bad about tricking you. You are so much more than I ever imagined you would be. You're beautiful, smart, and funny. You make me feel alive inside for the first time in I don't know how long. You made me love you, Cassie Jayne Bishop. I tried to deny it, but your eyes haunt me day and night."

Please don't be lying to me.

"I wanted to tell you I loved you when we were in the park, but I was afraid I'd scare you off. Then Jeff made sure you overheard us. I never wanted to beat someone so much in my life and not because I was mad I'd been found out. I saw the look on your face, Cassie. I can't even describe to you what you looked like. It cut straight through me. I hurt you so much and I'm sorry, sweetheart, so sorry."

"How do I know you're not lying to me, Ethan?"

"God, Cassie, I swear I'm not lying. I'm not making excuses, I'm admitting that I was an idiot and a fool, and I'm begging you to forgive me. I can't stand this. You wouldn't answer my calls and Kay made sure no one would let me get near enough to try and corner you at school. I feel like someone ripped my heart out. It hurts, Cassie. Please, sweetheart, please just forgive me."

Was it that easy? Just forgive him? Could I trust him? His eyes said I could. They promised so much. I ached for him. My heart didn't feel whole without him. I loved him. I saw the pain, my pain, on his face and in his eyes. I missed him too.

"If you ever do something like this again, Ethan Matthew Warren, I swear by all the Fates, I will never forgive you."

He stopped breathing. His eyes bled with hope. "You'll forgive me?"

"Yes," I whispered. "I forgive you."

"Thank God," he breathed and kissed me. It was another of those beautiful, gentle kisses that stole my sanity. "Thank you."

"At least Billy will be happy," I laughed shakily. "Kay will forgive him now."

"He threatened to murder me if I didn't fix this," Ethan agreed. "He loves her."

"I know. Can I have my hands back please?"

"What?" he frowned and then chuckled. "Are you going to hit me again?"

"Maybe." I didn't though. I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him to me. I breathed in his fresh, woodsy smell and fought down the instincts screaming in my head to run from him. I shouldn't trust him, but I did. Stupid, but there it was. "I missed you too."

"Promise me that no matter how mad you get in the future, you won't cut me off again." He trailed butterfly kisses along my throat and shoulder.

"You're assuming I'm going to get mad again?" I gasped as his tongue flicked against the pulse point in my throat.

"Sure. I like making you mad or saying outrageous things just to see you blush."

"That's....that's..."

His lips nibbled their way back up my throat to my ear. His teeth nipped my earlobe and my eyes crossed. Heat flared everywhere.

"That's what, Cassie Jayne?" he whispered and I shivered.

"I don't remember," I arched against him.

He smiled. His lips found mine and I got lost in the myriad of emotions that rocked through me. When he pulled away, I saw the regret in his eyes. I tried to pull him back. "Shh, love," he whispered. "Soon, but not here, not now."

Then I remembered where we were. The cemetery. Emily's grave. My face burned. What must my sister think of me? Making out with M&M not more than ten feet from her grave? She's probably rolling over laughing, I thought with a smile, and egging me on.

The pain of losing her wasn't so bad anymore, I realized with a start. Ethan had done that for me. I didn't know how, but he'd helped me get past the pain. Kay knew my pain. She'd lost her mother, but with Ethan, it was different. He just made it better somehow, made the pain easier to bear. He made me whole.

He sat up and pulled me into his lap. "I'm sorry for interrupting. I know this day is important to you and you need time alone with her, but it was my only shot at catching you by yourself."

"I wish she were here," I whispered and wrapped myself around him. "There's so much I don't understand."

"She's always with you," he said and stroked my hair. "Never doubt that."

"I'm afraid, Ethan."

"Of what?"

"Everything. You, me, the Coven."

"Why are you afraid of me?" he asked in a guarded tone.

"Because you're lying to me about something."

He went completely still. So did I.

"Cassie, trust me," he said at last. "No matter what happens, please just trust me."

"So you are lying?" I pulled away to look up at him.

"No, I'm not lying, at least not about what's important," he said finally. "There are things I can't tell you, Cassie. It would be easier if I could, but I can't."

"Things about the Coven?"

He nodded. "I can't tell you, but I promise it'll be okay. I'll make it be okay."

I wanted to believe him. He sounded so sincere. "I trust you."

He cupped my face. "Thank you."

"I need to get home," I sighed. "It's late and we have school tomorrow."

"I'll walk you," he offered and pulled me up.

I did trust him, I told myself firmly as we walked. I did.