Minhyuk Park:

I want to die.

I want to die.

I want to die.

The same sentence echoes over and over in my mind. I don't know where I am, so I gaze at my surroundings in curiosity. The entire area is filled with trees, tall and overwhelming. Dark shadows seem to creep towards me, reaching out.

"You are no son of mine."

"Fag."

I can't do this. My head is full of clouds and I can feel them crawling down my throat, blocking out my words. I glance at my bare arms and feel the weight of my knife in my pocket. My eyes travel up my pale arm to the tattoo.

Not only am I gay, but I killed someone. Father would be so fucking proud.

That was a lie. I knew once I got into the car to come to camp I wasn't welcomed back.

I knew it and I did it anyway.

Even before, I knew if I took things further with Nick I wouldn't be welcomed back.

Dark hair, beautiful eyes with full lashes. A smirk played on his lips as he beckoned me to his side.

"Come on," his voice, warm like honey.

If I had paid attention, I would have realized it wasn't honey, but glue, meant to trap me away.

Warmth fell down my face. Tears. I let them fall, coming undone with no witnesses. I couldn't see, so I opened my mouth.

No words came out. I choked, but the tears persisted.

My silent voice filled my surroundings as the shadows watched me...

Somehow, I made it back to the cave. I lay down in the corner, consulting my thoughts.

What is wrong with me?

"Hey." I turned to the newcomer, brushing my dark hair away from my eyes. He grinned, holding out his warm, strong hand. I ignored Santiago, knowing that if I continued I wouldn't be able to fix the growing rift between us. His hand fell and I could feel his gaze as he crouched down beside me.

Ignore him.

And so I did.

The days went by as a blur. I'm not sure what was happening, besides the fact I ended up in the woods over and over. There I was again, today, knife in hand.

"Hey." A familiar figure stepped out of the shadows.

"Keith."

"So this is where you've been hiding."

"What do you want." It came out as a statement, rather than a question, as I was much more preoccupied with my thoughts.

"Join me."

"What the fuck." Who was this fucker and what does he want with me?

"Your skills are being wasted. You know as well as I do that Jaehwa Park wouldn't have sent you here if you didn't have competence."

Again, what the flying fuck?

"I know you're smarter than you look. I want you to join me so we can succeed above this all," he gestured around to emphasize a blank point. This guy is fucking stupid. "Though I suppose you might be unwilling to abandon a certain someone."

"I don't know who you're talking about." My hands were shaking, and no doubt Keith could see straight through my lie.

"You know the one, you two are always together. I get why though, she's pretty cute."

"She?" Shit. You fucking dumbass

"Oh ho! I had assumed it was the girl." My face may have been flushed, but my head was spinning.

Look what you just did.

No wonder you're dense.

"The look on your face suggests that this was a secret," Keith smirked as he stood up taller, "How do you feel about joining me now. I mean, it would be a shame if your pretty boy disappeared."

Fuck. Why are you so stupid?

Why can't you do anything right?

Keith had come up beside me, placing a hand on my shoulder. "It would be such a shame if rumors started about a certain son of Mr. Park, wouldn't it?" I looked straight ahead which happened to be at his neck. Why am I so short?

He leaned over to whisper something in my ear. My thoughts melted away to pure rage, forgetting the knife in my hand.

...

"Didn't expect to see you here so soon," Trigger looked down at me as I gazed towards the ceiling. Apparently one of the guards was witness to Keith's murder, even though I, myself, couldn't remember what the flying fuck had happened.

"Me neither." The woman looked at me with an eyebrow raised, the flickering light illuminating her dark bronze skin.

We sat in silence. Occasionally I glanced at what Trigg was doing before focusing on ignoring the pain. Somehow the tattoo was finished before I could collect my thoughts. I looked at her, waiting for her to say something. Pulling her curly hair out of her face, she nodded. I took this as a sign that I could just chill for a bit. After all, Trigg seemed to have felt my unwillingness to leave the quiet room.

"What brought you here? Originally." Trigger had remained a mystery to me.

"This and that, although it's not that bad here. It's kind of safe compared to home." Unable to continue the conversation I turned back to the ceiling, noticing all the small cracks. Look, it's me.

Silence seemed to overwhelm us.

"You know, I didn't mean to kill him." It felt so good to let that out. I never had any intent to kill Keith, but after Becky, everything in my mind was kind of a mess. I don't know if I could recognize myself, anymore. It's hard to believe a few months ago I was swearing at teachers and jumping out of windows.

"If you say so."