Another reminder that all three epilogues (this one is the last one btw) are told in Jack's POV, not Lexi's. I hope you enjoy :)

The Program

Epilogue [PART THREE]

Growing up, my father and I had a pretty good relationship. We were so close back then, back before the fire that changed my life forever.

He was there when I got a horrible flu when I was five, his chicken soup made better than my mom's though i'd never admit it. He was there when I started my first day of school, and when he had to pick me up that same day because I was so nervous I started crying. He was there when I first learned how to ride a bike, and also when I fell down because I hadn't gotten the hang of it yet.

He was there for so much, always someone I could look up to and knew would do anything for me. I know everyone says it, but my dad was my hero. But then, a fire happened and Mary made her way into his life, turning him into the villain instead.

I had forgiven him years ago for this, not just because he saved Lexi's life either, my forgiveness took place before then. 

Forgiving him for all he had done to me and the people I care about, telling him it was okay for almost killing the girl i'd fallen in love with and sending my friends and me to the test, that was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. But my mother was right when she convinced me to forgive him, because even after all of that horrible stuff he did, he was still my dad, and he was doing all he could to protect me.

But when he woke up, the anger came back again. I hated him for all he did to Lexi. I hated him for working with Mary. 

I hated him.

So, I let the government take him without putting up a fight, even moving out of the way when they came in to get him, making a clear path directly to him and pulling Lexi out of the way as well. And though my mother was begging and pleading with me to help her convince them to leave him alone, I only walked out of the hospital room.

Eventually, the hatred faded, guilt and regret settling in. He did save Lexi's life after all. I owed everything my life with her is and will be to him. My future with her would not be possible unless he had pulled her down and jumped in the way.

I sighed, running a hand down my face. Thinking about the future was something I did a lot recently, especially considering what was currently going on at home with Lexi. 

And that is why i'm here, making my way into an underground bunker that held him prisoner. My father has been here, stuck in a jail cell made of concrete and is practically impossible to escape from. I hadn't spoken to him since the day he was taken, and I wasn't completely sure I even wanted to now. 

But Lexi's words still echoed in my ears from this morning, discussing coming to see him as if it were just casual conversation.

"You'll have to see him sooner or later, you know," She had said, taking a bite out of her waffle. I paused as she said it, no longer drinking the coffee in my hands.

My eyes didn't look at her as I asked, "And why do I have to do that?"

She rested her hand on mine, her blue eyes popping more than normal as she placed her other hand on my chin and forced it upward to make my eyes finally meet hers. "Because, he's your dad. And he deserves to hear this from you, not your mom. Lord knows how upset he probably got when he found out we got married after it already happened. Sure, he wouldn't have been able to come anyway, but you not telling him probably broke him."

I knew she was right when she said it, but I had been stressed all week thinking about exactly what she suggested, and suddenly, I snapped. "Oh, you're one to talk. It's not like you told your mom either."

Her hands pulled away from me after that, her eyes turning dull and hurt. I could tell she was trying to stop herself from turning this into a huge fight by how she was biting at the inside of her mouth when she said, "I suppose you're right," just before she got up and took her dishes to the sink.

Once the water started running, she began washing the dishes like nothing ever happened. But she was under a lot of stress too, especially considering the news we learned over the past week. So, she turned around, arms crossed and a glare present on her face. "No."

I had raised an eyebrow at her choice of words, or um, word. "No? What's that supposed to mean?"

She pointed a finger at me, getting in my face a second later and jabbing my chest. "You don't get to throw that at me, not to make yourself feel better. Reid is your dad, Mary is my mom. Fine, we both have things to deal with, we've both had to live with it. But never think that i'll just sit here and take it just because you know i'm right and you don't want to admit it. You will not make me feel bad just because you are too scared to go talk to your father."

Lexi didn't normally get upset over something stupid I said out of stress, but I could tell that what I had said affected her in a way that was much different from my situation. At least I had loved, and still kinda did, love my dad at one point. When it came to Mary though, Lexi had always felt nothing but hate toward her. And over the years she's had to deal with not blowing up at her parents for never mentioning it to her. She's had to hide so many secrets, and it was taking it's toll.

"I'm sorry, princess. I wasn't thinking." I apologized, using my nickname for that both annoyed and cheered her up while also nearing her and placing my arms around her waist, careful not the squeeze her too tight as I pulled her to my body and ran my hands through her hair to comfort her, the blonde strands falling out of her pony tail and landing on my face.

She sniffled into my shirt sleeve, the tears leaving her eyes at a rapid pace -something else i've had to get use to over the past week- and her hands clutched my shirt, her fingernails practically digging into my flesh through the fabric. Face still crammed into my sleeve, she finally muttered, "It's not like that's a new thing, Jack."

I rolled my eyes at her sentence, knowing that she couldn't see me do so, and agreed to go see my dad simply because I didn't want to fight over the topic with her anymore. After telling her this, she asked me if I needed her to come with, but I denied the offer. If I was going to face my dad, I wanted to do it alone.

When I had pulled up five minutes ago though, I realized just how much I didn't want that.

"So, you're his son." The guard in front of me said, seeming to look me over and judge me by this fact. 

I leaned against the counter, hoping he would do his job and hurry up already. Sure, I get it, this must be an exciting day for him and all considering the fact that this is the first time in ten years, someone other than government people and my mom has visited my dad. But seriously, if he keeps stalling, he'll give me time to make the decision to leave. And something told me I would regret that later. 

"Yeah, um, it's been a long time since i've seen him." I finally spoke.

He nodded, acting as if he understood my reasons. But no, he couldn't and never would. No one would ever understand how I felt toward my father, including myself. 

"I've heard a lot about you, and given how much he says you hate him, I never expected to see you here at all." He admitted, handing me a card. "You'll need that to get past the other guards on the way down, we're not used to new visitors here, so they'll be really suspicious of you. Hopefully that'll calm 'em down though."

"Thanks." I said, holding the card up between my fingers and walking toward the elevator i'd been instructed to use previously.

"Oh," He continued, my head snapping around to face him. "Don't lose that card. You won't be able to see your dad without it, and we don't normally hand out more than one."

I nodded, letting him know I understood before I entered the elevator and pressed the button to send me down.

Though I tried my hardest to stop them, my hands were trembling from nerves and my mind was going haywire. Seeing my dad was just too much to handle I guess.

As I was told, the guards I ran into on my way were suspicious, but thanks to the card given to me, I was able to continue on my way after about five minutes with a pat an my back and an apology for both stopping me and for the fact that the prisoner was my dad.

And then, I was outside his room, my hands placed against the concrete walls as I continued to contemplate whether or not this was actually a good idea.

"Um, you run your card through the scanner and then pull the handle to open it." A different guard said behind me. He was here to make sure nothing bad happened and would be right outside listening to the whole thing in case something went wrong.

I ignored him though, especially since I already knew that information, and just did as he told me, releasing a large breath of air and entering the room.

It was well lit, unlike the dingy jail cell I had once stayed in. And he was clean and looked well fed. He was sitting on a bed in the corner -one that looked rather soft and comfortable- and had a table and chair in the other along with various things to keep him occupied. To say I was jealous of how well he was being treated compared to how I was way back when would be a complete understatement.

In fact, I had to clench my fist and bite my lip to keep myself from voicing my opinion on the subject.

"I'll be out here if you need me." The guard spoke, closing the door behind me.

After that, I was alone with my dad, the very person who was currently looking at me with shock written all over his face. 

The bed creaked as he placed his hands on the mattress to lift himself up, and I found myself backing up a bit. I did not want to be here.

But still, I piped up, hoping to stop the awkward silence hanging in the room. "Hello, um, I mean, I uh..." I trailed off when I realized how much I was stuttering, trying my hardest to calm my jitters. Taking a deep breath, I tried again. "Hey. Uh, hey there, dad."

Calling him dad in my head never affected me like when I acknowledged the fact out loud, placing it all in the open and letting the world know that, yes, that man is my dad. The feeling of it leaving my mouth felt wrong, unlike when I was I kid and I was proud to call him my father.

He started walking toward me, a smile threatening to etch itself onto his lips. He just nodded in response to my greeting, in effect somehow saying hello to me as well without saying anything.

"How old are you now?" Was the first thing he asked me, him not daring to move closer to me, probably because he could feel my discomfort with the entire situation.

"Twenty-seven," I answered immediately, not missing a beat this time. "You'd think my dad would know that."

He rubbed at the back of his neck, his eyes not meeting mine. "Yeah, I did. I just, I guess I was just hoping it would lengthen our conversation."

"You could have just asked how I was doing, you know. That would've done just fine." I said through gritted teeth.

He shrugged his shoulders. "I guess so." He finally stared at me, my head lowering as he did because I couldn't stand what I saw. It was me, just like what I see every morning in the mirror, just an older version. "Fine. I'll ask. How are you?"

"You want the truth?" I asked, not giving him a second to answer me before I said, "My life is pretty awful right now."

He kept his head low again, sadness being the only expression I could really pick up on his face. "Is it, uh," He looked like he was choking up during his words, hoping the next ones he would say wouldn't be true. "Is it awful because of me?"

I could have lied, saying that yes, he made my life horrible. Tell him that seeing him again even after all this time didn't lessen the hurt and pain and lies. But he wasn't the exact reason my life felt like a pile of crap recently. 

"I never really wanted kids, you know. I mean, I wanted them at some point in time, I guess. But after seeing how awful the world could become in the future, I didn't want to bring them into that. I couldn't bring them into that." I started, putting my hands in my pockets. "And when I found out that Lexi was pregnant, I panicked a little bit, practically fell off the face of the earth for a whole day because I couldn't handle it."

"Yeah, I know. Your mom told me." He stated, sitting back down on the bed and offering for me to sit down. And I just did it, not because I was getting used to him again, but because I knew that once I was finished saying all that needed to be said, I would need a seat to sit in. "The news that I was going to be a grandpa didn't exactly rest well with me."

I placed my head in my hands. "And why is that?"

"Because I knew that the baby deserved someone better than me for that title, not like it would ever see me anyway." He simply told me, getting right to the point. "So, how's Lexi doing? How far along is she?"

There it was; the question i've been trying to find an answer to for the past week that wouldn't leave me feeling empty.

"She's not." I forced out. "Lexi lost the baby this week. It's been kinda rough at home. She wanted me to come and talk to you, my father, about it and see if maybe you could shed some light on the subject that wouldn't make this all so bad."

"Oh," He started, him looking sad again. "I-I'm sorry, son."

I shrugged it off. "I was scared to have kids anyway, remember. It's probably for the best."

"You don't believe that. I can tell, it's written all over your face. You wanted this baby." I didn't say anything to his sentence, creating a long pause between his next words. "Did Lexi want it?"

That's what broke me the most. "Yes. Yes she did." Hearing Lexi crying every night made me feel as if the whole world was falling apart before my eyes and I couldn't figure out how to piece it back together. "God, she wanted this baby so bad."

Neither of us spoke after that, at least, not for awhile anyway. We remained silent and I let a few sobs come forth, followed by him trying, and failing, to comfort me by placing a hand on my shoulder. 

"Be careful, something like this could wreck a marriage." He warned.

I turned to him. "I bet you'd just love that, wouldn't you?" It came out a bit angrier than I hoped. "You never liked us together anyway, don't pretend you did."

He rubbed at the back of his neck, saying, "I sent you into the test to save you, Jack. Not to have you fall in love with some girl who would put you in danger."

"You see what good that did." I shouted, getting up. "Protecting me? Is that what you thought you were doing?"

"Jack, it wasn't real."

"No." I stopped him. "You don't get to talk right now. You sent me into a prison i've never been able to escape from. Even when I couldn't remember, it was still there, eating away at me and driving me nuts. You tried to kill Lexi. You-"

"I do believe that I saved Lexi though, so that shouldn't mat-"

"I said to shut up." I kinda yelled, letting it all out. "I am grateful every day that you saved her life that day. And thanks for saving Luke, or whatever. But that doesn't excuse you from everything else you did to me, to everyone. Sure, okay, Mary was the mastermind, but you were right there with her. You are the one that allowed it to continue. Tell me, Reid, how someone who truly cares about another person could put them through this torture?"

He endured it all, taking in my words without so much as a frown. "Am I free to talk now?" When I didn't answer, he continued. "Do you know why I called myself Reid instead of Thomas when I introduced myself to all of you? It's because it reminded me of you, it reminded me of everything I was risking by even doing what I was doing. Your middle name, the one me and your mom fought over forever, having that name reminded me that I had a job to do; protect my family. Hate me forever for it, Jack. I don't care, just know that everything; you being the only one to kill the bears, me trying to keep you from Lexi, and even Luke disrupting you. That was all to protect you. And whether you like it or not, if I was able to go back and do it again, the only change i'd make would be not to bring Lexi into the test to begin with. With her came too much dang trouble, but no, Mary insisted."

"Yeah, well, that's great to hear, dad." I said, walking to the door. "Seriously, this was a top notch pep talk. I feel a lot better." I was angry, and sarcasm had always been my default to whatever the world threw at me.

I was going to storm out, give him another piece of my mind somehow. But instead, his next words made me stop for a second, not turning around. "Things will work out with you and her. I could always tell it would, that you would do anything to make her happy and protect her. It's the same way I feel about your mother. You falling in love with her was inevitable. And she fell just as hard. And despite how I feel about her, I think  she's good for you. You and Lexi will make it through this." He took a second to think over all he just said, adding, "You've made it through worse."

I turned around at that, darting over to him and wrapping my arms around his stomach like what I did when I was a child. Being much taller now, it was awkward, but just the same, it was nice. "I love you, dad."

And then I pulled away, racing out the door as fast as I could before I regretted what I had done. 

"You done already?" The guard outside asked. "Normally your mom takes at least two hours. You were in there for less than fifteen minutes."

"Yeah," I told him, not wanting to get into it and walking away into the elevator that took me back up to the original guard.

I handed my card back to him, his face puzzled and confused.

"You don't have to give it back. Like I said, you need to to get in next time." He spoke, handing it back.

I pushed it away. "Don't worry. I won't be back. I've already said everything that needed to be said."

❒❒❒❒

"Lexi," I started as I opened the door, already smelling the scent of pizza in the air before I closed it. "I'm home."

"Well, duh!" She shouted from the kitchen, followed by her saying, "I heard you come in. Either you're a really stupid criminal or you think i'm an idiot. Which is it?"

"You don't want me to answer that, princess." I said back. 

Making my way into the kitchen, I was faced with not only my dear wife -whom I immediately kissed on the cheek before grabbing a slice of pizza- but my mother as well, her leaning against the counter and eating.

"Hey, mom. What are you doing here?" I asked as I grabbed a plate from a cabinet. 

Her jokingly held her hand to her chest as if she were in pain. "Oh, what ever will I do. My own son doesn't want me around. Might as well bury me in the backyard now and put me out of my misery."

Clearly, I got my sarcasm from my mother.

"I didn't mean it like that and you know it." I told her.

Lexi placed a hand on my arm and smiled. "She just came over to talk. You were gone and she didn't want me to be alone." She put her plate down. "But now i'm gonna go to bed. I was just waiting up until you got home, i'm actually really tired."

She kissed me quickly before she walked out of the kitchen, leaving me with a smile of my face. "Night, Lexi. I'll be there in a bit."

I saw my mother lean forward, resting her hands on mine. "Lexi seems to be getting better, not crying as much." Her words only made me think about this morning again. Lexi still cried, she just didn't like to do so in front of anyone. Lexi wasn't yet over this, and she had all the right in the world not to be.

"Yeah," I shrugged it off, removing my hands from hers. We'd talked over the years. She came to my wedding. She was here for us when we found out Lexi was pregnant, here for us when she wasn't anymore. 

But me and my mother weren't as close now as when I was a kid. I still went to Martha and Henry when something was wrong. If they weren't around, I would go to John, hoping he'd shed some light on married life. And considering Annie and him are on their fourth kid now, I figured he was a good person to lean on when I found out Lexi was pregnant.

Then, there's mom. She's better than dad, don't get me wrong. But with everything that's happened over the years, our mother and son bond broke. She's blown up about my other parents more than once before, claiming that I loved them more. She's yelled at John for reasons i'm still trying to figure out. She tends to complain about Lexi because she says, and i'm saying the exact words she uses here, Lexi is a sweet girl but she feels Lexi has driven a wedge between us. I never have the heart to tell her that the only true reason why there even is a wedge between us is because she hasn't learned to face the life I was thrown into long ago instead of trying to erase it like it never happened.

"Where were you all day anyway?" She asked, soon after adding, "You shouldn't leave Lexi alone right now." 

"Me and Lexi have our own way of dealing, mom. Sometimes Lexi likes to be alone." Was all I answered. 

"Okay, no need to get defensive. I was only concerned about you two. This could greatly affect your marriage." Yeah, so i've heard.

"I really don't want to talk about this right now, mom." I said, putting down my pizza and yawning. "I actually think i'm gonna hit the hay too, it's been a long day."

"Which leads me back to wondering where exactly you were all this time."

"Mom, just leave it alone."

"I don't want to leave it alone, Jack." She stopped me from walking away from her. I was hoping she'd get the hint that I didn't want to talk to her and leave. I've done too much talking today. "I am your mother for crying out loud. Talk to me."

I looked at her, her eyes pleading with me to open up. I lowered my head. "I went to see dad today. Told about the baby, or um, lack thereof anyway."

"Oh, sweetie." She tried to wrap her arms around me, but I shied away.

"Um, yeah. It's really not that big of a deal. I just felt he needed to hear this from me." Then added, "It was Lexi's idea actually."

"Alright." She seemed disappointed, but I brushed it off. 

"You should probably be getting home," I suggested. "Or, uh, you can sleep in the guest room if you want."

She waved her hand. "No, no. I'll head on home, leave you two alone."

"Okay." I wasn't sure what else to say.

In a situation where Martha would have asked me to talk with, like, really talk, I wouldn't have given it a second thought. I would have laid it all out on the table and cried if I had to. Same with Henry and John. They were family, close family at that. Yet, every time I looked at my real family, all I saw were strangers. I didn't like that.

She turned around to kiss my cheek and give me a quick hug before she exited the door. "Love you."

"Yeah, uh, love you too, mom." I rambled out, closing the door behind her.

Going through the house -one the government was oh so kind to buy for us- and turning off all the lights and putting the rest of the pizza in the fridge, I walked upstairs to Lexi. 

She was laying on her side, the lamp on as if she were waiting for me to come up -which she probably was- and the blankets were not covering her. She was extremely hot natured, me being the one that used the blankets most nights while she just snuggled up next me sometimes. And that worked for us.

"So," She started, turning over onto her back and watching me as I climbed into bed, taking off my shoes beforehand. "How'd it go?"

"It was nice." I told her, pulling my shirt over my head and placing it on the nightstand. 

She moved closer, resting her head on my chest as I turned off the lamp. "Just nice?"

"Yeah," I said. "You were right, I needed to do that, talk to him I mean. At least once, especially now."

She didn't say anything for awhile after that, me starting to think that maybe she fell asleep. But eventually, she shifted and spoke up. "I've been thinking."

"Well, that's never good."

She ignored my remark. "I still want kids."

I pulled her close, kissing her forehead. "I just want you to be happy."

She sat up, placing her hands against my chest to keep herself balanced. "I know you're worried about all of this, you're worried about the world our kids will someday have to grow up in. Whether or not they'll be forced into the test, or maybe have to suffer from the bombs out here," She told me. "But I can't shake this feeling I have that I need to have a baby. I want kids so bad. I want them to have your adorable smirk and maybe my fabulous hair. Your green eyes or my blue ones. Or maybe even adopt, I don't care. I just want to be a mother. I want to have a family with you, like what normal people have."

I pulled her even closer to me, lightly brushing my lips against hers and wiping away a tear she must have shed while talking. "We'll make it work. It'd be kinda cool to be a dad, just as long as I don't end up like mine." 

"He wasn't always bad."

"Yeah, I know. But still." She nuzzled her face into my neck. Yawning again, I shifted a bit before finally getting comfortable enough to sleep. "Goodnight, princess."

"Sweet dreams, Jack."

Yeah, they finally were.

❒❒❒❒

And....it's over. Well, kinda. There's still an author's note after this (it'll be mainly fun facts about the stories) and then one more little fun thing (it's an alternate ending btw)...

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