A/N: Kids, I am an emotional person, I feel things, I have lived some life. Sometimes that shows up in my stories. This chapter is a little sad, and there is no sex. If that's not why you're here, skip to the next chapter.

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I've been a mess for the past two weeks without Mickey, but that's all my fault. I pushed him when he was most fragile, and he snapped. Now, I was giving him the space he needed until his stress levels could go back down. At least, that's what I think I'm doing.

The fight shouldn't have happened, but it did, and now I was trying to find a way to deal with the truth that was hidden in all that pain. It only took him a day to man up and apologize, but I still felt torn apart by what he said, by what I said, and by what we did in response. In all honesty, I had already forgiven him. I just hadn't forgiven myself yet.

I sit on the bathroom floor, gripping my stomach as I throw up into the toilet. When I feel as if I'm done, I lean back against the bathtub, running a hand over my clammy forehead and into my sweaty hair. Not being with him is making me sick. I can't eat, I can barely sleep other than when the exhaustion catches up with me.

In another moment of weakness, I look at my messages again.

Mickey: I'm sorry for

everything that I said.

I shouldn't have left. I

shouldn't have let you

leave but I was afraid

I would hurt you more

than I already had.

Mickey: Let me make

it up to you. Please.

I'll do anything if you

just come home.

Mickey: Baby, please.

Mickey: You are

everything to me.

Mickey: I love you. I

always will. You 

know that.

Me: I love you too

Mickey: Please 

come home.

Me: I can't yet

Mickey: Please.

"Is it getting worse?" Maggie asks, snapping me back into reality.

I set my phone down and close the lid of the toilet. "Yeah."

My appointment with the OBGYN was three days ago. She insisted on going with me, so now she knows everything. She knows about Emilio, the details of my fight with Mickey, the reason I needed an STD test at the same time as a pregnancy test. Everything. She had been nonjudgmental and so supportive over the past weeks. 

Then she got fired from the hospital. Her tolerance for my bullshit is all but non-existent now.

"You know this isn't the hormones. This is you not talking to him." Here we go.

My brow tenses. "I fucking know. But what am I supposed to do? Nothing has changed. I go back to him now, I still know that he feels this way and ..." I start crying again.

"Penny," she says as she sits next to me on the lip of the tub. I'm about to get lectured. "You're one of the best friends I've ever had. But this is some bullshit and you know it." I look up at her pitifully as I continue to cry. "You have one of the greatest men in the world dying to be with you. He's human, he fucked up. Whether you two are screwed up or not, he will never find someone better for him than you, and you will never find someone that makes you as happy as he does. You two need to grow the fuck up and talk about whatever it is you're not saying!"

I sob, hanging my head in my hands. "I can't."

"You can. You're just too pussy to do it," she says. I glare at her. "Life is fucking hard, Penny. We do shitty things, we say shitty things, we make shitty choices. But happy endings don't just happen. We have to make them for ourselves," she tells me.

I can see the pain behind her eyes, the source of wisdom behind her words. My brow tenses harder.

"Just fucking call him. Tell him you want him back, and tell him why you were so scared in the first place." She stands and starts to walk away.

"But what if it's not what he wants?"

"Just fucking call him!" she yells as she leaves the room.

♡♡♡

I stare at my phone, trying to build up the courage to make the call. You have to do this. You have to. I click on the number and it starts to dial.

"Hello?"

My heart leaps in my chest at the sound of his voice. "Hi, i-it's Penelope."

"Pen ... Penelope? Mi ángel bonita?"

I instantly recognize Vick by his sweet nickname for me. "Yeah."

"Ay, Dios mío! Hold on, Jerry is right here, let me grab him." My heart pounds nervously as I listen to him shuffle around and call for his husband.

"Penelope, my love," Jerry's voice sounds. "How are you? How have you been?"

"Can we facetime?" Vick asks excitedly. "We'd love to see you."

That catches me off guard. I glance at my reflection in the window next to me to see if I look alright. "Sure."

The call connects and I look at them for the first time in nearly a decade. They sit together on a couch, Vick with his arm draped around Jerry's narrow shoulders. Both of them still so fit, healthy, well-groomed. Their faces haven't changed one bit, both still as handsome as I remembered, only with a few more wrinkles and framed with much more gray hair. "You are both so handsome," I tell them.

"And you are so beautiful, Penny," Jerry says. "Oh, how we've missed you."

"I've missed you more," I say truthfully.

"Tell us about all about you! How is your life?"

"Well ..." I feel nervous, going over the short list in my head. "I finished my Master's and moved out to LA a few months ago. I'm training as a Nurse Practitioner at a hospital here."

"Oh, I'm so proud!" Jerry says. He's a pediatrician, so he's partial. "And now you're much closer to us! Are you living alone?"

"No. I have an apartment with my boyfriend." That I'm not staying at, I finish to myself.

"And what does he do?" Vick asks like the prosecutor he is.

I hesitate. "He's a porn star."

They both try to hide their surprise. "Oh. That's ... interesting."

Fuck it, I don't care anymore. "Maybe you've heard of him? Mickey Vale?"

Vick and Jerry exchange a glance. "Maybe we have," Vick says with a laugh. Jerry smiles guiltily. "Are you happy together?"

"Yes," I answer simply. We are happy. When we're together. "How ... how is Emilio? What is he like?"

"Leo is great," Jerry says happily. Leo. "He's perfect. So smart, hardworking ..."

"Funny," Vick adds in. "Always speaks his mind." Doesn't that sound familiar? I start to cry. "Oh, no! Don't cry!"

"Sorry, I've been a little emotional recently." I take a shaky breath. "Um ..." I take in a shaky breath. "This is going to be hard to say."

"What is it, mi ángel?"

I look at them, and I see the parents I always wanted but never had. I was young enough to be their daughter, but instead, I had given them my son. Their son. "I know that he turns ten in a few weeks, and I know that we had talked about that being a good time to meet each other ..." I swallow past the lump in my throat.

"Oh, love. We don't want you to take this the wrong way ..." Jerry interrupts. "Of course, Leo is at an age now where he understands that two dads can't make a little boy on their own, but ..." he trails off, looking to Vick for help and gripping his hand.

"But, he said he doesn't want to meet you ... at least not yet," Vick says slowly.

I wait for the rush of emotion to come over me, but it doesn't. The only thing I feel is calmness and ... relief. For some reason, that still makes me cry.

"Love, we don't mean to upset you."

I shake my head and start to chuckle. "No, it's not that," I tell them with a smile. I take a breath. "I was about to suggest the same thing," I admit as I wipe my eyes. "I've ... I've been waiting for this day for so long, hoping that I'd be able to prove that I had become someone to be proud of, that it would give me some kind of closure. Mostly, I think, I was looking at it as a way to apologize to dad," I nearly choke on the last word.

They both nod and Jerry covers his mouth as his brow tenses. They are the only people in the world that fully understand why.

"But I'm trying to convince myself that ... whether I've changed or not, he would love me either way. I shouldn't have to apologize," I say the words more to myself more than anyone else. "Since the moment I found out Emilio existed, I knew he was meant for you. That was my choice to make, and no matter how much it hurt ... I know now that I'd make it again." A single tear rolls warmly down my cheek. "I have no claim to him, and I don't need one. All I need right now ... is to know I've done enough."

"Claro que si," Vick says emphatically. "Your father would be so proud of you, I know this. You are an angel. We owe all of our happiness to you."

Jerry nods in agreement as he wipes his eyes. "We will never be able to repay you for what you did for us. Never."

I smile. "But you already have." I wipe my tears, and let my eyes commit their handsome faces to memory once again. "I love you both. And I love your little boy, I always will," I tell them. "Please make sure he knows that."

"Of course. We love you too."

"You have my number now, if you need anything. I don't plan to change it," I tell them.

"Neither do we," Jerry agrees.

"Would it be okay for us to call you more often? Holidays and other family times of year?" Vick asks.

I smile happily and nod. "I look forward to it."

♡♡♡

It feels like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I have some serious flaws, but that's just who I am. All I want to do is say that to the person I love most of all.

I want is to talk to him, to feel the comfort that comes with hearing his voice. I want him to be proud of me, to reassure me that I had done the right thing, but I don't deserve it. Not after walking out on him and not coming back for weeks.

I selfishly text him anyway.

Me: Hey

I start to think through my next message as I type it up. I hope everything is going well with the pilot. I'm thinking about you. No, that's not good enough. There's something I need to tell you, but if you still need space ...

My heart skips a beat when his call comes through. I stare at it, frozen for a brief moment, but then I swipe. "Hey," I answer hesitantly.

"Baby! We got the show!" he says excitedly.

My heart drops. "What?"

"They fucking signed us! Ten fucking episodes!" Holy shit.

I sit down, staring at nothing as I process the words. This was huge. Bigger than huge. This was everything. "Are you fucking serious?" I say, almost laughing.

"Yes! I can't believe it either," he says. "They sat there and watched it, reacted just like we wanted the whole time, then applauded when it was over. They said it was exactly what they were looking for to push the boundaries a little further. They said they'd let us know in a week, but they called us back today! We fucking did it!"

I start crying confusing tears. "Oh my god! Congratulations!"

"Baby," he sighs happily. "There's no one I want to share this with more than you. I'm sorry. I know I fucked up, but I need you here with me." I don't know what to say. "Come home. Please."

I can't breathe. I can't even think. So I just say, "Okay."

"Thank you, baby," he says with a sigh. "I love you so much."

I feel my heart shatter one hundred times over.

"I love you too," I squeak.

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