Mickey is currently fucking Miranda doggy-style and she's exaggeratedly screaming. Wonderful.

Meanwhile, I'd like to either vomit or beat someone's ass, but both would cause a scene, and not the kind people are paying money for right now.

Ailene runs her hands over my hair. "It's not a big deal," she insists.

My eyes snap back to hers. "Yeah, I agreed with you."

"Maybe so, but that pretty face is telling me a different story," she says with a frown. "You're family to Jax and me. You know I would tell you if there was something to worry about."

I grin at her. "Of course you would. That big mouth of yours is good for more than just sucking dick."

Ailene covers her mouth as she giggles. She presses a kiss to the corner of my mouth then wraps her arms around my shoulders, pulling me into her hug. I squeeze her tight to me again as I try to reign in my emotions.

The director yells "cut" and the scene ends. This isn't true end, as much as I wish it was. There is one more setting today and another scene tomorrow. They're only a third of the way through and I'm already exhausted. Mickey and Miranda separate as the crew rearranges the cameras for the next shot. My eyes trace Mickey as he starts to walk over. I take in a deep breath, knowing that for his sake, I need to keep my blunt mouth shut.

"Mind if I borrow my girlfriend?" he asks Ailene. She takes a step away and gives me a look as Mickey wraps me in his arms. I tense in his grasp as I watch her walk away.

He places kisses at my neck as he kneads my breasts in his hands. I know he's trying to keep it up for the rest of his scene. My hands ball into fists, and I don't know whether to push him away or drag him out of here with me. "Is there a ... specific reason you wanted me here today?" I ask him.

He leans back and smiles at me dreamily. "I do my best work when you're here. You center me." He presses a kiss to my cheek and I flinch. "You okay?" he asks.

"Yeah, I'm ... I'm fine. How much are you getting paid for this?" I ask bluntly. I've never asked that before. I feel guilty asking now, but I need a reason keep from asking him to stop.

"Twenty-five," he answers simply.

"Twenty-five hundred? That's it?" That's not so much. I could make up for that in my next couple checks, maybe cover an extra shift over the weekend ...

"No, baby," Mickey interrupts my thought process. He brushes my hair behind both my ears and tries to hide his disappointment. "Thousand."

I go cold.

Jesus. Twenty-five thousand dollars. I would fuck all of my exes for twenty-five grand. Now I really don't feel well. "Oh ... Okay."

"Why?"

"Just wondering," I lie.

He presses his hands to my cheeks. When I look up at him, he looks concerned. "You know if you have an issue with anything I do, you can always ask me to stop."

I hesitate. I'm not the kind of person that gets all twisted up over petty shit. I know this isn't sex to him, it's work, but I feel trapped. It's stupid to ask him to pass up that much money because I suddenly decided to be squeamish. "Baby, no. It's fine."

I press a kiss to his cheek and can't tell if I'm more upset with myself or the situation. When I finally lean away, I smile at him but he doesn't return it.

"I'm going to get some air, okay?" I tell him.

Mickey's mouth twists slightly as I walk away from him. He knows. He always sees straight through my bullshit.

♡♡♡

My legs feel shaky as I walk upstairs and out to the terrace. They call it a terrace, but it's little more than an unfished deck overlooking the hills. Ailene was good enough to hang some string lights overhead, but other than that, it was only crappy, metal patio furniture for places to sit and smoke. I wish I smoked. I could use a fucking cigarette right now.

I lean onto the low wall and look over the scenery, taking in a deep breath. This is fine, I tell myself. But it isn't.

Minutes pass, or at least I think they do. I pull out my phone to try to distract myself. Before I know it, I'm scrolling through Tumblr, and I pause on his latest post. It's nothing but a slow-motion, sensual kiss. No one else knows it's him and me. No one else needs to.

I tap on it, and go to his profile. Pages of black and white stills and gifs of the two of us, mixed with the occasional promotion of his films or toys. What he does with his life is work and... me.

Mickey loves me. All of me. So why wouldn't he tell me about her?

"Hey," I hear Mickey's voice behind me. I turn to find him already redressed.

"Hey." My heart beats nervously as I put my phone back into my pocket. "Done already?"

He walks closer to me. His hair is wet and he smells strongly of the shower gel the used in the dressing rooms. "Yeah," he says.

"Great. Let's go."

I start to walk past him but he stops me with a hand. He moves me back against the guardrail in front of him. "We'll leave when you tell me what happened." I look up at him, and as he stares me down, I feel all the confusing emotions flooding back in. Shit.

I'm going to do it. I'm going to be that bitch.

"Tell you what happened? Shouldn't you be telling me?" Mickey looks confused. "I know Miranda isn't just your partner, Mickey. She's your ex." I give that a moment to sink in, but when I look over at him, his expression hasn't changed.

"She is. And?"

My world shifts with my impending wrath. "What do you mean 'and'?" I say as calmly as I can manage.

"I mean ... why does that matter?"

"Why does it matter?" I glare at him like the fucking idiot he is. "Mickey! You had something with her! You still do! And you didn't tell me any of that before you proceeded to fuck her right in front of me!"

"But you love watching me fuck other people. You get off to it."

"Not when it's your fucking ex-girlfriend!" I scream.

Mickey glances back at the building as if I'm causing a scene. "Baby, calm down."

Never tell an angry woman to calm down and expect her to do anything but the complete opposite. "Don't tell me to fucking calm down! I'm pissed off!"

A slow smile spreads across his face and he starts to chuckle.

I glare at him. "Are you laughing at me?"

"Yeah." His smile makes his eyes squint. "You're cute when you're mad for no reason."

I cross my arms angrily. "I have a fucking reason."

"Do you?" he asks with a smile. I roll my eyes. "Baby, you knew about this scene for weeks. Why does finding out that we dated in the past change anything?"

"Because it's with someone you ..." I trail off. He raises an eyebrow questioningly. "If you dated her, she was important to you in some way. And she's your business partner, so she's important to you now. I ..." I try to organize my thoughts through my anger. "I'm having a hard time seeing the difference between us."

"The difference between you?" he asks incredulously. "When I fuck you it isn't pump my hips like this, hold my face just right, angle my shoulders, and think not-too-happy thoughts until someone cues me to come." I look at him, trying to believe his words. "You know that. You feel the intimacy between us when everything fades away but our bodies and the pleasure we give each other."

"Yeah, but ... you had that intimacy with her at some point too," I murmur.

"Not really," he says. I look at him questioningly. "We've worked together for years. She's an amazing screenwriter and has huge connections to the European market. Her being in 3M with me and Matty made sense. She and I trying to be more than that ... didn't."

"Okay. Then why didn't you tell me?"

He shrugs. "Honestly, it didn't even cross my mind. The whole thing between us was a lot of nothingness, we both wanted the business to work more than anything. I'm very sorry if that made it seem like I was keeping it from you."

He is so calm. I feel any anger I have left fade to something closer to fear. "So at no point when you're with her do you ever remember what you used to have? You never ... felt a way about her?"

Mickey grins at me. "No. I loved working with her. I loved having a partner that understood what I did for a living. But that's all I loved about her."

"Really?"

"Really," he says firmly, staring me in the eyes.

He's telling the truth. Now my fear feels more like guilt.

"I love you and only you, Penny. I can be completely committed to you and have sex be entirely separate from that. And so can you. But that only works if you talk to me and tell me what you need," he says emphatically. I feel my brow tense. "Us being committed to one another means that you and I decide what is and isn't okay. Only you and I. Don't let an old-school definition of monogamy make you question how much you mean to me."

A tear rolls down my cheek before I realize I'm crying. I bat it away quickly and nod.

He places his hands at my cheeks and makes me look into his eyes. "Don't push me away because you're afraid of being loved, or because you don't think you deserve it. This isn't the first time this has happened, and if you keep doing this, it's going to break us."

My heart beats erratically in my chest, and I sob. Fuck. Is that what I'm doing? I gnaw my lip, wanting to tell him he's wrong, but he never is. "Okay."

He brushes my tears away with his thumbs. "You have to tell me what you're feeling before you let me go do something that makes you want to leave me."

I stare back at him I take in a shaky breath. "Okay, well ... You being so involved with an ex bothers me."

He grins. "I know. That's why I called off the rest of the scene today, and told them I'm tentative for tomorrow."

"What?" I ask him in disbelief. My heart sinks. "Mickey, no. Finish it. That's so much money."

"Baby, I am never going to choose money over you. I may be pretty, but I'm not fucking stupid." I give in to my weak laugh as I dry my cheeks. "I own 51-percent of 3M. It's mine. Miranda is a badass at what she does, but if you don't want her around, she's gone."

I let out a breath. "No, I don't want that," I say truthfully.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. I'm sure. I trust you." I place my hands at his chest, feeling his steady heartbeat. "I just freaked out because it isn't like you to not tell me things."

He chuckles. "Well, it's very much like you to pick a fight with me when you're upset with yourself," he says jokingly but truthfully. I purse my lips at him as he smiles. "So ..." he steps closer and wraps his arms around me. "Are we good? Or should I yell at you or something so we can have angry sex in the car?"

I laugh into his shoulder. "You said you didn't finish your scene, right?"

He smiles. "Right."

"So aren't you feeling frustrated?" I pull his face to mine kiss him slowly. He returns it, teasing my tongue with his own. I slide my hand down and rub it against him through the fabric of his pants.

He hums. "Well I am now," he says against my lips.

I pull away. "Perfect. It will take us an hour to get home." I swat his ass as I walk towards the building to leave. His disappointed frown gives me all the pleasure I need for now.

He's not getting off that easily. Well ... at least not for another hour.

_____

A/N: Don't forget to vote, comment, and add to your library if you want more!