When Mickey redresses, we go to leave and run into Ailene and Jackson again. "Hey, were you guys getting food?" she asks us with a wide smile. Do they all starve themselves before shoots?

"Yeah, we were just going to grab something," Mickey answers.

Ailene rolls her eyes. "She flew all the way out here to see you and you didn't plan to take her somewhere nice?" Mickey stammers to find an excuse.

"We're going to Michelangelo's," Jackson says. "Just come with us."

♡♡♡

We sit outside on the restaurant's patio in the warm breeze. The weather here is ridiculous. I can't get over the fact that it's December but it feels like early fall. I look over the menu at the over-priced Italian food and preemptively salivate over the carbs I'm about to ingest.

"She's gorgeous, Mickey," Ailene says. I realize I had been ignoring the conversation. She and Mickey seem like great friends. So much so, it almost normalized the fact that I just watched them have sex. "I'm really glad you're able to handle all this. You never know what will happen with outsiders," she says to me.

"Well, I've been a big fan of both of you for a while now," I admit to her. "I used to watch you two all the time." I can feel myself blushing slightly.

Her smile drops slightly. "A fan?"

"Bro," Jackson jumps in, looking disappointedly at Mickey. "You're fucking a fan? You know better than that!"

Mickey rolls his eyes. "It's not like that. She's not crazy," he insists. 

"I'm not?" I tease him before turning to Ailene and Jackson. "Your totally right to warm him, Jackson. The only reason I haven't murdered him yet is because he's just too pretty," I say tongue-in-cheek. Mickey laughs happily at my dark humor. The other two allow themselves a reluctant chuckle.

"You're funny," Ailene compliments me. She leans her head onto a hand, looking me over with her beautiful gray-green eyes.

"Thanks," I smile. "But my shitty jokes are just a defense mechanism for the immense pain I bury deep, deep inside," I say straight-faced. They both stare at me for a moment, and then start to laugh again. 

"Jesus, she's as fucked up as we are!" Jackson says laughingly. "It's just a matter of time before she joins the dark side."

"Have you ever thought about doing porn?" Ailene asks me. I get excited to think it was an invitation, but I know there is much more to what they do than having a nice body and faking an orgasm.

I hesitate. "No, I mean ... I've always liked it and wondered if it was something I could do. I dabbled in Mickey's Tumblr, figuring if anyone was going to make me look good, it was going to be him," I explain. "But I don't have what it takes, like all of you."

"You mean you don't have daddy issues?" Ailene asks with a hearty laugh.

Mickey glances at me hesitantly as if he expected that to bother me. It doesn't. Most of the time. "Not the right kind, I guess," I say with a grin.

Mickey runs a hand over my hair and gives me an all-knowing grin. He turns back to his friends and says, "I know this isn't an ideal situation, but I think she's perfect. I can't believe I was lucky enough to stumble upon her."

"I'm not perfect by any means," I correct him, but can't fight off my blush. I change the subject. "But I'm so happy I was able to meet you while I was here. You both are really awesome. I'm kind of surprised, actually."

"I know," Jackson says with a smile. "Strange for a bunch of sex freaks, right?" I appreciate his sarcasm. His light brown eyes glisten as he smiles at his joke.

I chuckle. "I meant that you all seem like great friends."

"Mickey is our family," Ailene says. "I don't want to say he's like a brother since we have sex, but he's the closest thing to it!" she says with a playful smile, stroking a hand against Mickey's arm.

"They're my surrogate family. I don't know what I'd do without them." Mickey never talks about his family in specific terms. I don't blame him.

"We love you too, Mickey," Jackson says with a smile.

My cheeks ache from smiling so much. They're all so unbelievably normal. It's upsetting to think people could hate them just because of their job.

♡♡♡

Later that night, we lie in his bed watching Netflix and all I can think about is him pounding into Ailene. The way he looked at me before he came... I wanted that. I lean closer to him, and trace my finger over the groove between his pecs, not knowing whether or not to ask him for it. He doesn't seem to notice, so I drag my fingers down lower and lower beneath the covers. He looks at me suspiciously. "Are you tired?" I ask him.

He gives me a sexy grin. "No. Why?"

"I didn't know if you had enough energy left for your girlfriend," I say, nearly gagging on the word. He chuckles lightly. "That was ... kind of a surprise today."

"A surprise?" he looks at me like I'm an idiot. "What did you think this was?"

"I mean, usually there is a conversation, maybe a question at some point."

"Talking to you every day for months isn't a conversation?"

"Not specifically."

He rolls to his side to face me and props his head up on a fist. He eyes me slowly, smiling lazily. "You know how I feel about you, Penny. I ..." he trails off with a widening grin. "I'm obsessed with you. Most days, you're all I think about." I feel myself blush. He strokes the back of his fingers against my jawline. "You could say you don't care about me, but I don't think that's true."

I sigh heavily. He was the only man I've let close to me since ... Well, since I decided I wasn't going to allow it to happen. But it had. I felt something for him. To be honest, I was crazy about him. It wasn't just the sex, and I knew that. It was just easier to pretend that it was.

"It's not," I mumble.

"So ... we are together as much as possible, care about one another, and have amazing sex," he lists. "I think you're getting bogged down by a word. If you don't want to consider yourself my girlfriend, that's fine, but at this point ... I don't see how it changes anything."

"Mickey..." I sigh, running my palms against his chest. "I don't really do the whole ... relationship thing."

He smiles amusedly. "And why not?"

"Because I'm not the kind of person anyone should be stuck with."

He chuckles. "Funny. Neither am I."

I focus my attention on my hands rather than looking him in the eye. "I'm being serious."

"So am I. Do you know how many failed relationships I've had simply because of my job? I'm the sexual deviant here, the ultimate degenerate, remember?"

I move my hand down and rub my fingers over the "nourishes" and "destroys" of his tattoo. At least everything wrong he did in his life paid off for him. I was still working hard to make something positive come from my misdeeds. "Out of the two of us, I'm worse," I say darkly.

"Bullshit." I look into his eyes hesitantly. "You think I haven't noticed what you're about? How you try to push people away because of whatever happened in your past that you don't like to talk about?" I feel my eyes widen with my surprise. "I don't care what you're ashamed of, and I don't care if you tell me what it is. It shaped you into the amazing woman you are right now, and that's all that matters to me."

My brow tenses. "Ow, stop," I whine jokingly, fighting my tears. I bury my face in my hands, attempting to shy away from his painfully kind words. He hugs me close to him, nuzzling his head against mine. If only he knew, I think, but I can't bear to tell him right now. 

"I want this. I want you," he says. "Nothing you say can scare me off now."

"It's not that I think you'll be scared ... I just..." I really don't want to cry right now. It isn't the time. "I really need to focus on myself right now. I don't think it's fair to you to call this something it might not be."

"Maybe not," he agrees simply. "But would it really be that bad to try?" He doesn't take no for an answer, and I don't want him to. I shake my head. "Then just let it happen, baby."

I move my hands and hug him around the neck. I breathe in his intoxicating scent, as my heart flutters, thinking of the possibilities. I'm scared. Of course I'm scared. But he's something special, and I can't deny it any longer.

I sigh happily, as I give in. I place my hands on his cheeks and look into his beautiful brown eyes. "Don't be so nice to me, Mickey. It makes me horny." I pull him close and kiss him. He hums excitedly against my lips as he rolls me over to take his place atop me.

♡♡♡

My two weeks are over before I know it, and I am beside myself. I dread going back to Ohio. More than anything, I dread going back without Mickey. We walk into LAX, and he looks as sad as I feel. When we make it through the doors, he pulls me into a hug.

He wraps his arms around me, holding me tightly against him. I rest my cheek on his chest, listening to his heartbeat, trying to memorize the sound. "I don't want you to go," he says quietly.

"I don't want to go either." I feel like crying. My brow tenses, but I blink back my tears and look up at him. "Will you come visit before spring break?" I ask, trying to think of happy things.

"Yeah, of course. I can stay a couple weeks maybe? Then you can come back here over spring break." I nod happily, and he smiles. "It's a plan." He presses his mouth to mine, and I don't want to let him go. I place my hands behind his neck, attempting to pull him closer. When the kiss is over, we look into each other's eyes but say nothing.

I feel it then -- the cold yet warm, all-over rush when you first realize it. My heart flutters painfully.

I look at him and I know exactly how I feel, but I don't say it. I won't say it.

I place my hands on his cheeks and kiss his lips once more. I take a step back from him. "Bye, Mickey," I say sadly.

He hesitates, looking as if he is fighting off his emotions. "Bye, Penelope."

I walk away slowly, wishing I didn't have to.

I manage to wait until I'm through security and at the gate before I start crying like a baby.

_____

A/N: Don't forget to vote, comment, and add to your library if you want more!