Yesterday I burned a small chink of flesh off my finger. It hurt for a second when I got the burn but now it's pain-free. It's not pretty though. My dad, a chef, thought it was a cool. I agree.

I had to explain to my mom that using headphones doesn't affect the actual phone speaker. She thought they were connected and that using my headphones so often somehow blew out my phone speaker.

I got to tell my family what Trypophobia is.

I've decided that I really really like psychology stuff and want to learn more about it.

Mark is in Cuphead The Musical from that channel that also did the FNAF musical and he does the voice of the devil and it's honestly perfect.

I almost cried because there is literally zero chance of me ever seeing a YouTuber I like or a band I like live. Even TØP. I don't know what they play at concerts but I know my mom would flip out at any song that I haven't played for her. And FOB? Oh forget it. That hip thing Patrick does at that one point in Sugar, We're Going Down? The cuss words in some songs? The adultish references? No way. And they don't even know that I like P!TAD, they just know I like a few songs.

My dreams keep turning into horror flicks. They aren't exactly nightmare because I don't get super scared bit they are objectively creepy. My dream last night involved guarding a rooftop, a red light that flashes at random times, and a dead nun or something who's body was moved by something else every time the light went off. Only the person in the dream (it wasn't me, rarely is) couldn't see the body getting moved because it was shrouded in shadows and everyone the light came on they looked away from where the body was. It was creepy.

Update on the Trypophobia thing: My mom said it's just another made-up Thi g so that people can feel like they're special and deserve attention. She said the same thing about Maldaptive Daydreaming. See this is why I don't like talking much, my family just shuts me down. I can't talk about things I've learned mental issues without them saying "What are you trying to say you have that?" or saying what I've learned about is made up and not real. I can't talk about my intersests because I'm smarter than that and should talk about smart things but they won't tell me what they mean by that.

The only one who actually listens when I talk about my bands and books and videos and stuff is my brother. In return I listen to him talk about his interests, like his action figures and stuff. Even he gets super annoyed sometimes.

My parents do let me talk about my interests I guess but they just tune me out until they get annoyed or be like "You know way too much about this/them." Oh don't pretend that if you had the Internet back when you were a teenager you wouldn't do the same.

I wish I had a real life friend I could talk too. Someone who would not only listen but engage in conversation. Discuss theories, listen to bands together, make references that finally someone would understand...

Sorry. I just feel kinda lonely a lot. But you guys help! People with common interests who wouldn't judge me. Yay!