(SPG ba? Haha)  

Chapter 47

3 AM Exercise 

My arms were both stretched upward as my hands tried to grab the stars scattered on the sky. It was too near, yet too far to reach. It was like jewels inside an opened box that glimmered endless on the reflection of my eyes.

I was like an infant who newly learned how to use her hands, happily giggling as she tried to open and close it.

"They are so beautiful..."

My body was helplessly hanging on someone's arms as my legs started to kick with excitement.

"I can't catch it! Why?"

"A-Ashanti, 'wag malikot! Mahuhulog ka na! Fixed your head, mababali na iyan sa katitingala!"

I didn't bother to entertain the voice. Instead, I tried to catch the stars again. But when I closed my hand, all I could have was my empty palm.

"C-Catch it for me, please..."

He stopped walking and glanced upward. "See... they are so beautiful..."

I saw how his adam's apple moved slowly as his eyes wandered on the sky. "I wish I could, Shanti. I wanted to give you everything... you know that..."

My eyes suddenly lost interest in the sky and went to something that hit my curiosity, and fingertips lightly traveled on his shoulders up to his neck.

"Y-You swallowed the star..."

His brows automatically crossed, and his head shook. "Seriously..."

He continued to walk and ignored all the questions I asked him. "Give it back, please... why did you swallow it?!"

Ilang beses na niyang tinabig iyong kamay ko. "Shanti! N-Nasasamid na 'ko!"

"Then give it back!"

He tried his best to make his eyes bigger to threaten me, but it didn't work. Singkit pa rin ang mata niya.

"Shut up, La Rosa. I am starting to get mad."

"I am also getting mad, S-Sergio!"

Dahil na niya kayang palakihin iyong mata niya, mas pinasingkit niya na lamang iyon habang iritadong nakatitig sa akin.

"I didn't fucking swallow it! And if I will swallow something, it's not a fucking star!"

I gasped and covered my mouth. "Y-You will..."

Naalarma iyong mga mata niya sa naging reaksyon ko. "I-I mean... after the wedding, of course..."

"Wedding?" I asked curiously. "Ikakasal ka na? You propose to someone else? Who? I am Marimar, Sergio..."

"W-What the fuck?! I am speaking with Ashanti! You drunken woman!"

"What's with the wedding?" nalilitong tanong ko.

"It's because of your reaction! I promised it. I will wait, of course..."

"What reaction?"

Nang sinalubong niya ulit ang mga mata ko, halos hindi ko na maipinta ang mukha niya. Ang hirap niyang kausap.

"W-When you covered your mouth and looked at me scandalized. I didn't mean to..."

"You will swallow the moon?"

Umawang na ang bibig niya. "Ibabagsak na kita, Ashanti! You are so drunk!"

"Hmm... sige ibagsak mo 'ko. Ikaw no more swallow me..."

We almost fell off the ground when he heard my words. "Shit..."

Tumigil na siya sa paglalakad at marahan niya akong ibinaba sa lupa. He distanced himself away from me as I sat freely on the ground with my knees hiding my face and my arms hugging my legs.

His hands were on his waist as he frustratingly looked at me. "Where should I bring you?"

"You told me that we're going to Wuhan..."

He irritatingly combed his hair with his hands. "I loved the idea, sweetheart. But not now, tell me where... should I bring you home? What about to your friend's place?"

"You are rejecting me?"

"Of course not! I loved how those idiot Ferells helped me to have you tonight, no matter how crazy their ways were. But I am not planning to take advantage of you."

I nodded at him and closed my eyes. "Just don't bring me home. Amoy alak ako... I am a mess. Sometimes I am Shanti, sometimes I am Marimar..."

"You're with someone, right? What is her name? Should I contact her?"

Gusto ko sanang sabihin sa kanya na posibleng nakikipagtawaran pa si Farrah sa utang niya roon sa arabo na tinatakbuhan niya, pero sobrang bigat na ng aking mga mata para magsalita.

All I could hear was his curses. "I want her sober. Pero bakit lagi mong nilalasing sa tuwing ibinibigay mo sa akin, gago ka, Aldus!"

"I have no choice! I will take her home, and I don't need your cousin's fucking free condom!"

Nang matapos siya sa pakikipag-usap naramdaman ko na umangat na muli ang katawan ko. Mas isiniksik ko iyong sarili ko sa dibdib niya.

"I am sorry for pushing you away, Keaton..."

I felt a light kiss on the top of my head. "It's okay."

I was half-asleep when Keaton placed me inside his car. Akala ko ay tuluyan na akong makakatulog doon, pero nanatiling buhay ang diwa ko sa kabila nang umiikot kong pakiramdam.

"Welcome back, Samonteng lamig..."

Saglit siyang lumingon sa akin. "I missed it, the annoying endearment."

I giggled. "Did I ever call you that? I was too discreet in that term."

"Uhuh? I heard it a lot of times."

"But why still me, Keaton? You have years to look for someone else..."

"My eyes are too small to look for someone else, Shanti. My heart is already coated by someone's ice..."

"Did I coat it enough, Keaton?"

"Too thick, Shanti."

Tipid akong ngumiti. "I am glad. I was too jealous to see you singing with Autumn."

"Should I tell you my list of jealousy, Shanti?"

Umiling ako. "Who is your Senyorita?"

He chuckled. "Of course, you are my real Senyorita."

Saglit niyang itinigil ang sasakyan, lumapit siya sa akin at mabilis akong hinalikan sa labi.

Nakarating na kami sa harap ng gate ng bahay niya. Saglit lamang akong sumulyap doon sa bahay namin bago ako mariin pumikit.

Inalalayan ako ni Keaton bumaba pero dahil mas nahihirapan siya sa ganoon ay binuhat niya na lamang ako. Nakarating kami sa loob ng bahay niya at nagdiretso na kami sa kwarto.

"Is this your room?" tanong ko kahit hindi ko na naman nakikita ng maayos ang kwarto.

"Yes. I'll sleep outside."

"I need to clean up, Keaton. Ang dumi na ng suot ko..."

Hinawakan niya ang dalawa kong balikat nang hawakan ko ang laylayan ng damit ko. "No need. It's okay."

"I'll make your bed dirty."

"Ashanti Rose La Rosa, it's not my bed that..."

Ngumisi ako sa kanya. I cupped his face and softly kissed his forehead. "You are still the same Keaton... my gentleman chinito..."

Itinulak na niya ako sa kama at kinumutan niya na ako. "Good night, Shanti..."

***

"Come on, hide quickly!" sigaw sa akin ni Papa habang nakaharap sa likuran ng pintuan si Ate Aliyah at nagbibilang hanggang dalawampu.

We were playing hide and seek. I could still remember how happy I was when my father's touch was warm and so tender, his voice sounds like music and his laughter rings like morning bells.

Mga panahon na ako, ang mga kapatid ko at Mama ang pinaka-importante sa kanya. My childhood memories with him were the best and I wouldn't ever trade it with any fortune in this word.

We were hiding behind the curtains. My little self was trying her best not to laugh aloud as my sister Aliyah wandered her eyes around our small house. Nanatiling nakalagay roon sa labi ni Papa ang kanyang hintuturo para iparating sa akin na pigilan ko ang pag-iingay.

"Ang daya naman!" reklamo ni Ate Ariana nang mauna siyang makita ni Ate Aliyah.

Unti-unting sumilip si Papa roon sa may kurtina para makita sina Ate pero iyon na ang naging dahilan para mahuli siya.

"Huli, Papa!"

"Ang galing naman ng anak ko! Nakita agad si Papa!" lumabas agad si Papa sa may kurtina at lumapit siya kina Ate para hindi agad ako makita.

Sumenyas pa nga siya sa akin na tumakbo, pero nang gawin ko iyon ay nahuli narin ako ni Ate Aliyah.

"Mahal, mga anak! Merienda muna!"

"Tamang-tama, gutom na 'ko!"

Yumuko si Papa at inilahad niya ang likuran niya sa aming tatlo. Nag-unahan kami roon sa likuran niya, dahil ako ang pinaka maliit sa amin, lagi akong nahuhuli kaya sina Ate Aliyah at Ate Ariana ang nakakasakay sa likuran ni Papa.

"Come here, Ashanti..."

Habang nakasakay sa likuran sina Ate, ako naman ang nag-iisang buhat ni Papa.

"I love you, Papa..." I told him before I kissed his cheeks.

"You do?"

"Yes!"

Humalik din sa akin si Papa. "Huwag n'yo akong ipagpapalit sa iba, mga anak! You should love your father first! Kahit may mga kabuteng sumulpot diyan sa harap ng bahay natin!"

"What's kabute, Papa?"

Umiiling si Mama na inagaw ako mula kay Papa. "Si Papa ang drama, kung ano-ano ang sinasabi sa mga bata."

I wanted to continue that dream. I wished to close my eyes again to see my father and hear his voice again, to watch him laugh, and feel his whole presence alive. It was a happy dream, but my eyes couldn't stop but tear.

I missed him so much, and it hurts that even if my sisters, mother and I were close to success, it wouldn't change the fact that our father wouldn't enjoy it with us.

Bumangon ako at saglit na sumulyap sa orasang nakapatong doon sa ibabaw ng lamesa. It was still 3AM in the morning. Napahilamos ako sa sarili ko. Bakit ko kailangang magising ng madaling araw?

It took only few minutes before I realized that I wasn't inside my room. Nasaan ako? Mariin akong pumikit at pilit inalala ang nangyari kagabi.

What happened after that maze game? Natatandaan ko pa na nag-uusap kami ni Leiden, pero ang sumunod na mga pangyayari ay malabo na.

Is this Leiden's place?

Hindi muna ako bumaba sa kama, sa halip ay nahiga ulit ako at pilit inalala ang mga sumunod na ng nangyari.

At first, I couldn't believe the scenes and conversations that were flashing back on my mind, and all I did was to other endless curses to myself.

Ano ba iyong ginawa ko? How could I let those words slipped on my tongue? Bakit hinayaan ko ang sarili kong humantong sa ganoon? Ilang beses na akong nakasali sa inuman kasama ang mga katrabaho ko noon, hindi rin biro iyong mga naiinom ko pero hindi ako humahantong sa ganoon.

I can always bring myself together when I am with my colleagues. But why every time that I had a beer in my system and Keaton was around, my nerves were getting unruly and unhandy to the fact that I'd let myself drown and build my own world of fantasies.

When I am with him, I didn't act reserved and composed, that I wasn't the smart ass with her profession, but the Ashanti Rose La Rosa, the carefree woman with her little happiness.

I hate the fact that I pushed him away because of doubt, but here I was, fully trusting myself to him. Bumangon na ako at binuhay ko ang ilaw. Gusto ko man bumalik sa pagtulog ay hindi ko na iyon magawa.

I didn't want to think about my dream's connection between my recent situation. But as I tried to close my eyes, it continued to bother me.

It's been a while when I had a dream of my father. Bakit ngayon na magkasama na kami ulit ni Keaton? It didn't mean a thing, right, Papa?

Naglakad-lakad muna ako hanggang sa mapatingin ako roon sa bintana. Lumapit ako roon hanggang sa makita ko ang katapat na bintana nito. It was my window, the same spot when my towel accidentally slipped from my body.

Halos sabunutan ko ang sarili ko nang maalala iyon. Huminga ako ng malalim at susubukang kalimutan na lamang ang nangyaring iyon nang bumaba ang mga mata ko sa may tabi ng bintana.

There wasn't a table, but there's a chair.

A chair?!

Upuan sa gilid ng bintana! May throw pillow pa!

Mabuti sana kung nasa mismong tapat ng bintana ang upuan dahil baka gustong tumanaw ng may-ari ng kwartong ito sa kanyang mga halaman sa harapan, pero bakit nasa gilid?

Nakakahiya naman sa kanya at nangangalay siya.

Gagong intsik na galing sa Wuhan!

Bumilang ako ng isa hanggang sampu at pilit kong pinakalma iyong sarili ko. Pero hindi iyon tumalab.

Biglang nag-init iyong ulo ko. Yes, it wasn't his fault. Ako naman talaga iyong may kasalanan nang mahubaran ako! Pero ginawa niya talagang pwesto? Gaano na siya katagal nagsa-sight seeing sa bintana bago ako mahubaran?

Sinabi sa akin ni Honey na matagal na palang umuuwi rito sa bahay na ito si Keaton at nito lang inanunsyo.

Wala akong pakialam kahit madaling araw!

"Samonte!" sigaw ko.

Binuksan ko na iyong mga kwarto na nadadanan ko pero wala siya roon. Sinabi ko sa sarili ko na uuwi na ako sa amin kapag hindi ko pa rin siya nakita sa pintuang hawak ko.

At nang sandaling buksan ko ngayon iyon, inilahad sa aking mga mata si Keaton Samonte na inaakala kong tulog na tulog.

The room I opened was a fully equipped fitness gym.

At 3 AM with everyone deeply asleep, Keaton Samonte's currently sweating with his firm muscles, flexed arms, and legs, as he quickly does his push-ups.

Bigla kong nakalimutan iyong dahilan ng pagpunta ko rito.

Nasaan na iyong orange juice at towel na dala ko?

As he made his ups and downs, I could hear his chant. Not numbers, but some words...

"She's sleeping, calm down... calm down... calm down..."