"it's never fair. it may hurt when you realize what you aimed for wasn't what you achieved. it may break you, kill you, leave you in bits. you may recall the days you fret, the nights you were left sleepless, the amount of tension you bore and the major phases of life you lost. but what you may not have understood was that your hardwork shall pay off. maybe not in terms of what you had expected. but in terms of what your Lord shall bestow upon you. for the world, your result will matter. but for the God who has always watched you and your efforts, your perseverance will matters. that's how — even if you fail in this world — your hardwork pays off - sulaymaan."

Sulaaymaan sat in a daze.

Afra didn't know how to approach him or what to say that could console him. What to do so that he could just smile and understand that none of this could have been stopped. That he wasn't at fault and that life worked by Allah's will.

It had been five days since Waasay's — whose body wasn't found unfortunately — Janazah had taken place. His parents were inconsolable and for the better of both the sides, Queen Basmah had decided to go upto provide them both some company.

The Queen herself — though she was simply acting normal — was barely breathing. She had lost her smile; that twinkle in her eyes. Whenever she talked, it felt monochromatic and dull. There was barely any energy left in her limbs and she was often caught feeling dizzy. When everything had finished no one had the heart to hold back all the information from her any longer.

No one had imagined that there would come an end as what they had expected.

Abdullah — the guard who had accompanied Sulaaymaan — was the only one in his senses to describe the horrifying incident of that night.

Even for her, it took a few hours to let all that information settle in. Initially some of her questions remained unanswered but as time progressed, most of the plot holes fixed fairly well.

All the while, Hasan had dominated Waasay's life. How Hasan had implanted the bomb within Waasay's body, she didn't have a clue. However that was accomplished, one thing was true.

The watch Hasan had kept using was the one he used to control the timer on the bomb within Waasay's body.

Just that thought — even though a few days had passed — was enough to make her head throb. It made her eyes sting with tears as she pondered over what all could have been prevented if she had taken notice of that watch.

Unable to understand the situation, she collapsed to the floor, sobbing in her arms and seeking forgiveness.

It was all her fault.

There was so much she regretted in her life. Some things were just because she was stupid while others were not in her control. But this could have been in her hands.

"I'm so sorry Waasay. You didn't deserve this. I'm so sorry."

She sobbed to herself, wrapping her arms around her stomach at how dreadful her heart felt. Even though she had been crying for days, there appeared to be no end to the amount of gulit she felt.

Perhaps it would last for the rest of her life and it would always remind her of an unforgivable mistake she had committed.

"I'm so sorry Waasay. Please forgive me. I'm really sorry."

"AFRA! STOP IT HABIBTI! Calm down."

Sulaaymaan fell to his knees beside her, pulling her in his arms and running a hand along her back. For five days she hadn't had any contact with him. He was silent, staring in the air and often fell asleep curled up in a ball after a lot of crying. For five days she died everytime she heard him sniffing. For five days, she hesitated in addressing him lest he would feel offended.

"It is my fault Sulaaymaan. It is all my fault."

She mumbled in his chest before he pulled her away to face her with a frown.

"Why would you say that?"

She hesitated a moment before breaking into another fit of tears.

"Sulaaymaan.....I should've known. Please forgive me."

Sulaaymaan hushed her down before encouraging her to continue.

"That night......Hasan was doing something constantly on a watch he wore. It didn't click me at all Sulaaymaan until a few moments before......that......that the watch was the object with which the bomb within Waasay had been triggered."

She broke down again covering her face with her palms. Sulaaymaan did not react at once but once it all settled in, his arms went around Afra as he pulled her and placed in his lap. For a few hours she cried in his arms as he swayed back and forth while murmuring some words of help.

When she finally pulled away, her head ducked. Sulaaymaan held her chin and forced her to meet his eyes.

They sat staring at each other for a while until Afra diverted her gaze and sniffed. She only just had come to realize that she was too close to him and that there was a weird sensation building up in her as his hand slided up and down her back.

She shivered as he caught a lock of her hair and tucked it gingerly behind her ear after smiling at her sadly.

"Afra, it was not your fault. It was not my fault. It was no one's fault. We can never blame ourselves for what happened. It was all a play of fate. It was all a mild intoxication of ours that left us to feel that we were responsible. When in actuality, it all was the mere fault of our fates that had chosen to wire together at this phase and frame illude us into believing the wrong. You know what differentiates us from the others who do not know follow Islam?"

She shook her head.

"It is the fact that we know to differentiate what is the purpose of our life and what it beholds. Waasay had his test. Both of us have a test. Everyone has a test. Waasay — in shaa Allah — has passed his exam but we haven't. Truth be told, we are making it worse. Most of us have been blaming ourselves for something that was destined to happen. Allah wanted it to happen. And he knows what he is doing. Even if he were to kill me or you today, there still would be a good reason behind it."

She shook her head before whispering an answer.

"Please don't talk about....yourself like that."

"I'm stating the universal truth my love. Whatever the reason trust Allah. He knows what's best for us even if that were to be death."

She shook her head harder before glaring at him through her tears.

"Can we....please stop talking about that?"

Sulaaymaan stared at her before sighing.

"Fine. But you should accept that none of us were at fault?"

She pursed her lips, unsure of how to answer. Even though Sulaaymaan did explain well and made her see Waasay's death in a different perspective, there still was a hesitation. She would probably accept that part of truth in a while, but right at the moment was proving to be challenging.

"Sulaaymaan I —"

"Yes Afra?"

"I.....fine. I'll accept that none of us were at fault."

He smiled before tightening his hold around her waist. She was about to escape his hold but it felt like things weren't going as per her wish.

"Afra?"

"Yeah?"

"What's with you shivering so much?"

She bit her lip.

"Erm....maybe somebody's a little too close?"

He tilted his head slightly.

"Oh yeah?"

She nodded.

"Well, get used to it then. I think I've started to get used to cheese."

It had taken a few days for the whole legal procedure to end. A lot of investigation had taken place with a massive amount of media and journalists going crazy over the new breaking news. Wherever he would try to go and deal with the proceedings of the janazah and investigation, he would have to dodge a good amount of questions that reimbursed a lot of his emotions to surface.

Despite the fact that things had calmed down well enough for him to move around without any reporters by his gate, he still would be followed by a person or two. But it wasn't as bad and he drove to Waasay's apartment.

Because Waasay was an only child he never brought himself an apartment and lived with his parents. His main aim in life was to become a software developer. Something which he wanted to use to develop new games and gadgets.

It took an hour to reach Waasay's apartment from their villa that was located on the outskirts of the city in between nowhere basically.

Hussain and Ruqayya — Waasay's parents — had chosen to stay away from the apartment until they had the will to live without his presence in a place filled with his aura. Moving out was no option.

He parked his car and got out. As he jogged towards the building's entrance, he noticed a group of people point fingers at him and click pictures.

Sighing, he quickened his pace and jogged up the steps not resting until he stopped on the second floor. The apartment number three hundred lay down the hallway.

Gathering all his strength, he walked and stopped across the door. After knocking twice on the door, he waited patiently until it was swung open by his mother.

"Assalaamualaikum mama."

She smiled and stepped aside to let him in.

"Walaikumusslaaam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu Habibi. Come in."

He walked in slowly, his eyes travelling across the living room. After Queen Basmah shut the door, he drew closer to her.

"How're they holding up?"

He whispered and she sighed.

"Not well. They just went in for a nap. The whole night both of them kept tossing and turning around."

She began to cry and dabbed a napkin at her eyes.

"Ya Allah! This has all been so tragic."

Sulaaymaan nodded. 

"Please be strong mama. They need you okay? All this was unfortunate but it was meant to happen anyway. We need to trust Allah and move forward in life mama."

She sniffed.

"Yes Habibi. Don't worry, I'm holding up. Alhumdulillahi a'la kulli haal." 

A brief silence fell upon them as she silently cried and Sulaaymaan held her until she calmed down. Five minutes later, she had laid down on the couch as he excused himself.

The apartment was quite large with about five rooms. Waasay's room was towards the immediate right and it had a few yellow police tapes still stuck over the doorframe.

Sulaaymaan pushed open the door and stood still. This was the room that once was occupied by his brother. The memories of him laying halfway on the bed while his upper half dangled down the bed, the way he would shout out his name whenever Sulaaymaan would arrive, the way he would slide his CDs down the door, the way he would smile in the most goofy manner played before his eyes.

His hold tightened over the handle and he shut his eyes. It was all too much to take in at once, but he wanted to be with him. Even when he no longer remained.

And just like that a tale ended.

Caramel coloured furniture sparsely filled the room. The dark Walls held posters of his favourite gamers, certain positive quotes and a few Polaroid clicks.

A bed, cupboard and a desk were the only bits of furniture. Most of the space was occupied by a load of machines, game boxes, a few PC's and heaps of CDs.

Sulaaymaan walked in and settled down carefully on the freshly laundered sheets.

The night the police force examined his room they had found a little gift that Waasay had left behind.

After gathering all the information from that gift, they had let him have it.

Sulaaymaan reached out into his pocket and pulled out a small leather book. His hands grazed over the words that had been carved into the cover.

You're always the hero Sulaaymaan.

He smiled and within the room, he felt a smile. Almost as if Waasay had thrown an arm over his neck and had winked at him.

As he flipped open the book, it gave him a whiff of Waasay's cologne. It was sweet, soft and gave off the illusion that he was there.

Such was the influence some people left behind.

Dearest Sulaaymaan,

If you're reading this, then it's because I'm probably dead. I have taken extreme precautions in both writing and hiding this book. It may not be of much substance, but enough to clear off your doubts and distress.

The following will hold the circumstances that took place from a few months.

Sulaaymaan flipped the pages before sighing aloud. This was not helping. It was only making his heart beat with anxiety. It just made him feel like Waasay was right in the house and would jump onto him anytime soon.

All the initial details of this case are extremely unclear. For starters, all I know is that I was once kidnapped by a man while I was returning after a long day at college. You know our neighbourhood isn't the kind where kidnapping or shady stuff took place. But that one night, all I remember is struggling against someone's hold as a hand held a wet cloth against my mouth.

It was only a dark situation back then that I did not give much thought. Well except one thing. I had a stitch mark on my abdomen that hurt. It was never there before and you know that I don't plunge a knife into my stomach and sew it up. It was not making sense. I tried remembering that day but of course I couldn't. Slipping into unconsciousness was the only thing I remembered over and over again no matter what.

Sulaaymaan pressed his temples. This was how it all began. Poor Waasay was not even aware of all that. He flipped the pages.

The symptoms that followed next depicted that my life has taken a peculiar turn. Vomiting, food poisoning and diarrhoea were only a few to name including continued headaches and weakness. It was starting to scare me. I had taken it upon myself to secretly get checked up. I had neglected the matter for a long time and that was a bit mistake.

Surprisingly, I received a call from Uncle Hasan and he spoke of the truth. Naturally I did not take it too seriously until he disclosed the evidences that proved his statements. Sure enough they were all pointing towards one thing. A bomb was implanted within the tissues of my abdomen. A miniature device.

Sulaaymaan had not realized that he was crying until a few tears blotched the papers beneath his eyes. He gently flipped the pages.

Now for only haressing, manipulating and troubling someone, surgically implanting a bomb in my body was giving me a bad vibe. Sure enough, I was proven wrong. Things began getting nastier and as days began to progress, I came to term with how my body and health was deteriorating steadily.

Even if Hasan were to not blast me off, I would still not have a good chance at surviving the poisoning I had suffered. It was not as easy as it sounded.

Everyday I would receive messages from him that reminded me of my position. Sometimes I even felt like I was being watched since his texts would prominently point out towards what I would be doing right at that time.

Sulaaymaan flipped the pages again.

To understand all this could prove to be burdensome so I planned on writing this exclusive journal just for you. I don't know for sure though, if I will be able to finish it. Every once in a while, I sneak this diary with me to the washroom and write down as much as I can.

His plan is about to come to an end soon with you being killed and Afra being....maybe his wife. I often heard him praise your woman so it was not hard to figure. Don't worry, in Shaa Allah, nothing will happen to you guys. I might not have everything in my control but I can certainly bring them under my supervision.

This time around he was interrupted by the Queen who brought him a slice of pound cake with some tea. The sunrays were starting to diminish as a few softly grazed the room's walls and further illuminated the space.

Majorly this piece of my thoughts would be so you would not develop any wrong judgements of me. Who knows if I may be able to confess to you in the nick of time? To be on a safer side, I took the risk to leave back a part of me with you. My end is inevitable; as is everyone's.

But mind could be considered tragic. Knowing you as a person worries me to think that you'll keep blaming yourself for my death. All I'll say is this was planned. It was for my best. Allah directed this scene and I'm pretty sure it's going to be a block buster hit.

Sulaaymaan shut the book, placing it on his side and breaking down into silent sobs.

« Assalaamualaikum Princesses ❤.

Okay, so Alhumdulillah, that's done.

I love you guys so much. ❤❤❤ Just wanted to let it out there that you're all amazing and without each and every one of you, the universe won't be the same. You're the atom but without you there is no solid.

I...hope I made sense.

Anyhow, this book is soon to end. In shaa ALLAH. A quick note would be that I'll be heavily editing this book because I have been finding quite a lot of mistakes.

Jazak'ALLAHU QAIRAN KATHEERAN to all the darling souls who were there with me on this inexplicable journey of a mixture of emotions. ❤❤❤❤

Please take care,
Love you all a tonne.

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