General Tsubaki won his battle and had gained high favor from the emperor. The emperor gave him a boon as a reward and with it he requested permission to marry Suzume, the emperor’s deposed daughter. Suzume was reinstated as a princess and given permission to marry the emperor’s favorite general. It was everything Suzume had wanted until she had found Akito again.  

General Tsubaki returned to the compound and wedding plans were put into full gear. There was no moment to reconnect with Akito. Whatever they might have had was lost.

Things moved so quickly, Suzume felt frozen as everything sped around her. She felt disconnected from reality and time itself  – even her own emotions. The tormented feelings of love and betrayal should have stung more but they felt distant as if she were observing a theatrical dance.

Suzume stood staring at the falling maple leaves as they skated across the pond. A koi broke the surface of the water and opened its mouth looking for bugs.

The maid hurried around her. A second maid tugged and pulled at Suzume’s white robe tying the sashes and making sure everything was perfect. Today was the day she would marry Daiki. All her plans and dreams were coming true and she felt empty.

They were to be married at the local shrine. The same shrine Daiki’s parents had been married at, he had told her proudly. Suzume had smiled and pretended that it was ok. The setting was picturesque. A traditional shrine, not unlike the one she had served at briefly before Daiki had rescued her. It was crowded by maple trees, full of burnt red leaves that melded with the red archways which led to the shrine proper. Everything was perfect, all her plans were coming to fruition. Yet she felt a hole in her heart that something was missing. And that something was Akito.

I’ve always gotten my way. I’ve never been passive. Why am I not standing up for what I want? I do not love Daiki. I love Akito. He is the man I should be marrying.

“I am almost done, mistress,” The maid said as she put on the outer layer of the robe. The ceremonial hood was held by a second servant who was standing by with eyes averted.

“I want a moment alone,” Suzume announced.

The servants looked at her with large liquid eyes, without emotion or concern. They’re just like empty dolls. They do as they are told, dancing to his whims. I hate them.

“Mistress, it is almost time to leave for the shrine,” the maid replied in a flat tone.

“Leave me,” she snarled as she threw her arms out to exaggerate her point. She had hemmed her less flattering tendencies since coming to Daiki’s compound but now she did not care what they thought.

The maid holing the hood set it down and the maid at her feet rose with simple grace. They bowed to her in unison and left her alone. The paper-screen doors closed with a soft thud. Suzume sighed. She hoisted up the thick layers of her robe and went out onto the walkway that faced the inner courtyard. She stared out at the garden. It was perfect. Not a stray stem to be scene or a leaf fallen in the wrong place. I never see gardeners and yet it is always pristine.  The wind blew through the courtyard and seemed to chill her to the bone. The wind is too cold, even for the fall.

Footsteps fell on the landing and Suzume turned in time to see Akito. He had put aside his military uniform and wore formal clothes that she remembered when they had both been at the White Palace. He wore a long shirt in a brilliant cerulean and white billowing pants. His hair had been brushed and styled into a top knot. The scar across his handsome face gave it a menacing quality.

“Suzume,” when he said her name it made her knees buckle. It was intimate and caressing and wrong. He should not be here now to see her in her wedding clothes. The instant she had found him she knew she must dismiss him. He was the son of a minor lord, Daiki was her father’s favorite general. The emperor would never approve the latter as her match – especially given what her mother had done. This was the only way to wash away the sins of her mother.

“Akito, what are you doing here...” She looked away, turning to go back inside. She did not want to see him right now, not so close to the time she would marry another man.

He grabbed her by the shoulder and she glanced back at him. “You don’t have to go through with this. It’s not too late for us to run away together.”

She slipped out of his grasp and kept her back to him. She shook her head. “It is too late. I am promised to Daiki, this is the only way I can return to my place.”

“Your place is with me.” He snapped.

She hated to hurt him. Akito was so calm and remote. To raise his passion like this, her rejection must have truly hurt him. She needed to apologize, to make him understand.  Suzume turned back around to face him but Akito was gone and the garden was gone. All that remained was blank stone walls, which were slanted at a strange angle. The walls were covered in a white substance. It looked like thick strands tangled up with itself.

Something growled behind her. Suzume tried to move but her whole body was bound up tight. Her extremities were numb and only her eyes rolled around in her head. Something scuttled past her. She could not see it clearly but she realized the walls were slanted because she was lying on the ground.

“You’re stronger than I thought, Priestess, but they all succumb in the end.” A high pitched female voice crooned.

Something clicked and clattered. Suzume felt her stomach roll. Where am I? Where is Akito? It was her nightmare all over again but the infuriating man wasn’t here to taunt her this time.

The thing continued to shift behind her Suzume rolled her eyes around in her head but could not see anything other than the walls with the thick sticky strings in front of her. Then something pierced her neck. Pain flooded her body. Every inch was alight with pain. It radiated like liquid fire in her veins and when she opened her eyes she was standing outside a shrine.

The red arches loomed above her. Down a path the temple shrine waited. She could smell the incense in the air. She spotted the red and white of the shrine maidens waiting for her at the end of the walkway.

She looked down at her wedding robe. Her hood had been put on. She had to turn her head far left to see past the hood to Daiki who stood beside her. He smiled at her shyly and his round cheeks were flushed with pleasure. His gut was pressing on the black robes of the groom. The belt was sinched so tight it looked as if it might burst. I am marrying Daiki. Memories flooded her brain: her rejection of Akito in the garden, her commitment to marry Daiki and return to her place at the palace.

I must be tired from the sun. I am imaging things.

They walked through the archways each step her body felt leaden as if she were forcing herself. Sweat rolled down her spine and she resisted the urge to wipe her brow which was dewed with perspiration.  She didn’t want to smear her makeup. This all felt strangely familiar though. The shrine loomed before them. With sweeping arched roof and curled eaves like a fall leaf.

The doors to the shrine were open and flanked on each side by shrine maidens. She glanced at them and they seemed familiar as well. The woman on the right had white hair that was held in a loose pony tail down her back with one piece of white ribbon tying it. To her right on the other side of the door, a dour looking woman scowled at Suzume. I know these women, but how? I only just viewed this shrine the other day with Daiki – we did not even meet the shrine maidens.

Inside was the shrine and in the center the alter which held the host of the god: a sphere. Suzume stopped, she knew this. This all had happened before. She pressed her fingers to her temple. Her brain felt foggy again like she was forgetting something important. She glanced up and a man was sitting on the edge of the altar. His legs crossed over one another. He was the same one from her nightmare, the one who had taunted her and infuriated her.

“So you’re going through with this, huh?” he asked her.

Suzume looked to the Daiki and the shrine maidens, they did not seem to see the man sitting on the holy altar.

She decided in that case, it was best to ignore him. She joined Daiki as he bowed to the shrine. The man only grinned. The shrine maidens said an invocation in their melodious voices. Suzume closed her eyes and tried to focus on the ceremony. She peeked at the man and he was still grinning at her.

“Is this what you’ve been wanting in your heart of hearts?” he asked her.

Suzume gave him a haughty sniff in reply.

The white haired shrine maiden brought Suzume and Daiki the ceremonial rice wine. Daiki took three sips and then Suzume took her three sips. It burned the back of her throat, not unlike the pain of the bite from her nightmare.

The man on the shrine stepped down and paced around Suzume and Daiki. Daiki continued to stare forward with that goofy smile on his face.

“I don’t know why you’re so intent on ignoring the truth.” The man said as he paced.

Suzume glowered at him but did not reply.

“You can keep on pretending but what I am dying to know is: Who’s Akito? You’ve never mentioned him. There’s never been an inkling of you being capable of real love.”

She scowled at the apparition; because that is what she was sure it was. She was under a lot of stress lately. She was imagining things.

The apparition laughed softly. “Here he is to stop the wedding.”

Akito was standing to one side of the room along with the other servants. He watched her with hooded eyes. The apparition had a point. Until he had given her the poem, Suzume had forgotten about him. How could a love so passionate be forgotten like a lost trinket?

Daiki offered his hand to Suzume and the pair of them approached the altar. He read his invocation. The ceremony was nearly finished. Soon she would be his wife. She felt that everything would be back to normal once she was Daiki’s bride. Akito would return to the battle field and she would continue on with her life.

“Is that what you want?” the apparition asked. “To be tied to a man? Owned by him, subject to his whims? In another life, in another time, you were the greatest of the priestesses. A look from you could destroy men like this.”

Suzume glanced at the apparition. Half of his face was Akito and half was the handsome stranger.

“Who are you, really?” She asked.

He smiled and it sent a chill down her spine. “I am everything you’ve ever desired. Everything you lust for. I am all your sins and mistakes and I am your destruction.”

Suzume took her hand out of Daiki’s and stumbled backwards. She was trapped inside her nightmare again. She just needed to wake up. The old shrine maiden approached with the ritual branch.

She looked into the face of the woman. “I know you. You’re Chiyoko, the head priestess at the temple in the mountain.”

The woman did not respond, she handed Suzume the branch and stepped back. Her eyes were blank like that of a doll. The second shrine maiden glanced at her and she was the second in command at the temple shrine, Zakuro. She whirled around to look at Daiki and he was gone replaced by a large looming spider with dripping fangs.

“You weren’t supposed to wake up, priestess, I suppose you have the dragon to blame for that. He should have learned not to meddle it would have made your passing so much quieter.” The spider sighed or that’s the closest thing she could describe the lifting of the long hair legs.

“What did you do to me?” Suzume screamed.

“It doesn’t matter now, priestess your end has come.” The giant spider hissed as she dove at Suzume with her poison fangs.