Marian's POV

Why did I say yes? Why did I agree to have lunch with him when I could've said no and walk away? I was touching an open wound. Ako din ang masasaktan sa ginagawa kong 'to. I needed to forget him, to stop missing him... tapos ito siya ngayon, nasa harap ko. I didn't want to go back to square one after this.

"Marian..." He said.

I stopped playing with my spaghetti and was forced to look up at him. He was sitting on the opposite side of the table and I didn't think he even touched his food.

"Are you okay?" He asked in a concerned tone.

I forced a smile and nodded my head. I couldn't get any words out of my mouth. I could feel the awkwardness in the air, him and I, trying to search for the right words to say. I bowed my head down and focused on my food.

"Kamusta naman ang pagbubuntis mo? Nahihirapan ka ba?" Tanong niya ulit pagkaraan ang ilang minuto.

"Hindi naman. Bukod sa morning sickness, wala naman akong problema sa pagbubuntis." I answered.

"Have you talked to the doctor about it?" There was a hint of worry in his voice.

"Oo, sabi niya naman normal lang daw iyon, usually sa pagkatapos ng first trimester mawawala din iyon."

Tumango-tango siya. Something in his eyes shifted before he spoke again. "And what about the father? Alam mo na ba kung sino? Sinabi mo na ba sa kanya?"

"Alam ko kung sino ang ama ng pinagbubuntis ko." I said with a sigh. He's right in front of me. "Pero wala akong planong ipaalam sa kanya. He doesn't need to know. I just wanted a baby. I don't need him in my life or my baby's."

His brows furrowed but then his expression changed again, namilog ang mga mata niya. "You intentionally got yourself pregnant?"

"I... um, it was... I didn't think I would work..." I said, stuttering.

"You didn't think it would work?!" He let out a sarcastic laugh. "How could you be so careless and stupid?!"

Sumimangot ako. I took in a deep breath to calm my raging insides. "Kung inaya mo lang akong lumabas para insultuhin, aalis na lang ako. Hindi ko pinagsisisihan ang ginawa ko. I never, ever regretted having this baby. Kung mababalik ko ang oras, I would do it again in a heartbeat."

Hindi pa napapanganak ang anak ko, hindi ko pa siya nahahawakan at nakikita minahal ko na siya. And for him, my baby's own father, to talk about my child like it was a mistake was heartbreaking.

I stood up, ready to leave when he held my hand before I could walk away. I looked at him with eyes narrowed in anger.

"I'm sorry." Mahinang sabi niya. He squuezed my hand. "I didn't mean to make you feel insulted or anything. I care about you, Marian, more than you know."

I could see the sincerity in his eyes as he looked at me. I sat back down again and my face softened. I suddenly felt butterflies in my stomach when he said those words. It was nice to know that he cares about me.

"You're my friend. And I just want to make sure that you're okay." Sabi niya. Of course, I was just his friend. "If you're happy with having that baby then I am happy for you too."

"Thank you." I forced a smile.

"Nandyan na ang bata, wala na tayong magagawa. I just wish you didn't do something as impulsive as that." He sighed as if defeated. "You could've waited. You could've given your baby a complete family with a father in it."

"I don't think that would ever happen. I'm just not lucky with men. I've been alone for so long, pagod na akong mag-isa."

"You're not alone. I told you, you have me."

I could feel my eyes burning. Ugh! Hormones, they were absolutely horrible. I cry at the littlest things these days. It couldn't be helped. "Iba naman yun. I want someone who'd permanently be in my life."

"Hey, I'll aways be here for you. We're friends, remember?" He said. Yeah, he'd just always be my friend. Not the father of my baby. Just my friend. Friend na nahalikan ko, friend na nakatabi ko matulog, friend na kashare ko sa DNA ng baby ko.

"Iba naman yun. At saka di ba, pinaalis mo ako sa condo mo. May pa nice knowing you ka pang nalalaman." I said, my face crumpling as a new wave of emotion hit me.

"I'm sorry, okay?" He sounded genuinely apologetic, guilty even. "I was in shock. I needed time to think."

"Think about what?" I asked.

Sandali siyang nahinto. He looked like a deer caught in a headlight. But after a few moments, he regained his composure. "I just... I don't know. I was confused. I thought... what we had... I don't know. I really don't know." Sumandal siya sa kinauupuan niya na para bang naubusan siya ng lakas.

I didn't understand what he said or what he was trying to say. Pero nakaramdam ako ng panghihinayang.

Virgin lang ako, hindi ako tanga. Alam ko na hindi normal sa magkaibigan ang mga ginagawa namin noon. When we kissed, I knew he was starting to see me as a real woman, not just his friend. Was there really a possibility that our friendship could've blossomed into... something more? O gusto niya lang ako mapabilang sa mga babae niya?

"But I want I do want you to know is that I'm still your friend. I'll always have your back no matter what. And I care about the baby as much as I care about you." He said.

Seth's POV

She was carrying another man's child. And there was nothing I could do to change that. Nothing. But a sigh of relief stirred my nerves as I watch her eating in front of me. The fact that she was here with me brought peace to my messed up head. Looking at the silver lining, the father of her unborn child wasn't in her life.

She looked up at me and her brows crumpled together. "Bakit?"

I gave her a slight smile before shaking my head, "Nothing."

"Nothing? Eh hindi mo nga ginagalaw yang pagkain mo." She said.

"How far along are you?" I asked. I had this annoyingly overwhelming curiosity about the baby she was carrying. That was one of the reasons why I decided to accidentally bump into her. Gusto kong malaman kung ano na ang kalagayan niya at ng batang dinadala niya.

"Sabi ng doktor, more than four weeks na daw siya."

"Is it a boy or a girl?"

She laughed. "Ano ka ba? Kaka-one month lang nitong fetus. The baby's not fully formed yet."

"Well, what do you want it to be?" I asked.

"Healthy." She said. "Mabait na bata, masunurin... sana hindi magmana sa ama niya."

"I know you'll raise that child well. Your child will be nothing like his or her good-for-nothing father." I said.

"Yeah, I hope so." She chuckled.

"If it's a boy, I'll teach him everything I know."

She gave me a faint smile. "You don't need to do that. Kaya kong palakihin mag-isa ang anak ko."

"I know you're capable of raising your child on your own but he'll still need someone to look up to, like a male figure in his life." Like a father figure. But was I ready for that kind of responsibility? To be someone else's child's father figure?

"Eh paano naman nalaman na 'he' 'to? Paano pag babae?" Her brow arched up.

"Then she'd need someone who'd protect her."

"At iniisip mo na hindi ko kayang protektahan ang sarili kong anak?"

"You know that's not what I meant. Kailangan niya lang ng haharang sa mga manliligaw. Someone who could intimidate her suitors. I'm a man, alam ko ang likaw ng bituka ng ibang mga lalaki. I know who she'd need to stay away from."

"From guys like you?"

I sighed and had to nod my head. I admit I wasn't the best guy out there but I make it up by being hot. "Yeah, guys like me."

She let out a laugh. "O edi inamin mo din na gago ka."

"I won't deny it." I smiled, shaking my head.

Our lunch ended well and I offered her a ride home. We were back to being friends, I guess. I didn't know if it was a good thing or a bad thing. At least, for now, it was a good thing. I missed her so much. Having to watch her from afar had been sheer torture. Me bumping into her was no accident. Sinundan ko siya dito. I'd been frequently camping out of her house. I knew what I was doing wasn't healthy anymore, or normal. As much as I hate to admit it, I was stalking her but— all for the right reason. I felt like it was my duty to protect her because she was in such fragile state, she was pregnant and alone. And in the end, when it all came down to the truth, I loved her.

But I couldn't tell her that, not just yet. I was still confused about how I felt about her and the situation we were in let alone how she was going to react. Hindi ko alam kung handa ba akong pasukin ang ganong klaseng sitwasyon. Hindi na ito tungkol sa amin dalawa. There was another life involved. How can something so small change everything?

____

Author's note:

Hi guys, sorry for making you wait this long. Inupdate ko lang kasi yung Blue Book kasi na miss ko na si Wayne and real life has taken over recently. So this may or may not be the last update for this month. Sobrang dami kong kailangan gawin ngayon and I want to spend the holidays with my family. Babawi na lang ako sa inyo next year. Sorry guys.

Also, I added a cute picture of Seth with this chapter as a sign of my sincere apology. :P