Merry Christmas! :)

Marian's POV

Was it a good idea to let Seth into my life again? I didn't want him to get involved with my child's life. Ayaw kong balang-araw na malaman niya na anak niya itong dinadala ko. It wasn't that I was being selfish, it was actually the opposite. Seth loves his freedom and he hates responsibility. Kung sabihin ko nga sa kanya ang totoong mangyari at maniwala siya sa akin, ayaw ko naman itali siya sa responsibilidad na hindi naman niya ginusto. Ang laki na nga ng kasalanan ko sa kanya ng nakawin ko ang semilya niya tapos dadagdagan ko pa.

Seth visits the flowershop regularly. We'd gone out a couple of times over the past few weeks. Inaaya niya akong lumabas para kumain sa labas. We hang out like we used to before. Parang wala pa rin nagbago sa aming dalawa.

May appointment ako sa doktor ngayon at nag-insist si Seth na maghatid sa akin sa ospital. I told him he didn't have to pero mapilit siya.

Just as I was done putting my clothes on, I heard a car stopping in front of my house. Sumilip ako sa binatana at nakita ang isa sa mga paboritong kotse ni Seth, his blue Bugatti car. I saw him get out of his car and walked to my front door. Nagmamadaling inayos ko ang buhok ko at narinig ko ang tunog ng doorbell. I got out of my room and opened the front door.

"Ready?" He asked with a smile.

"Wait lang, kukunin ko lang bag ko." I said and went back to my room to get my bag. Sumakay kami sa kotse papunta sa ospital. Like the last time I went here, we had to wait for the doctor to call as in. She was still seeing a patient inside. Umupo muna kami ni Seth sa waiting area.

"You're baby bump is starting to show." Seth said his eyes stopping on my belly. Nagbaba ako ng tingin. I never noticed it but my stomach wasn't as flat as the last time I was here. Medyo malaki na nga siya pero hindi pa naman ganun kalaki para mahalatang buntis na ako. You could easily mistake it for bloatedness.

"It is?" Napangiti ako at napahawak sa tiyan ko.

"Yeah." He smiled. "Do you feel it, the baby inside you?" He asked with genuine curiosity.

"Hindi." I shook my head. "I've never actually felt anything."

"How many weeks is it now?"

Nagkibit-balikat ako. "I don't know. Eight weeks na yata."

"I read in the internet that an eight week old fetus is about the size of a jelly bean. Nagsisimula ng magfunction ang organs, muscles at nerves niya at nagfoform na ang taste buds niya. That means the baby can taste everything you're eating. Cool, huh?"

Napangiti ako. "Mas madami ka pa palang alam sa akin. Have you been researching?"

His expression shifted into an uncomfortable one. He brought his hand to the back of his neck and kind of massaged it. "No, I just happened to stumble on an article about it." He said, in a slightly defensive tone.

"Oh okay." I said, nodding my head.

"Marian Perez." Tawag ng secretary na nakaupo sa desk sa harap namin. "Pwede na kayong pumasok sabi ni doktora."

I stood up from my seat and Seth followed behind. We walked into the doctor's office. Nakaupo si doktora sa desk niya at parang may isinusulat ng pumasok kami. She lifted her eyes up to us and smiled. "Hi, Ms. Perez. How are you? Please, take a seat."

Umupo ako sa armchair na nasa harap ng desk niya at umupo naman si Seth sa tabi ko. The doctor gazed at Seth. "And you must be the baby's father."

"N—" I was about to say no but he cut me off.

"Nice to meet you, doc." He said with a charming smile.

"Ang swerte ng magiging anak niyo. Magandang mommy at poging daddy." The old lady playfully said.

Hindi tumutol si Seth sa sinabi ng doctor. He just smiled at her a little wider. The doctor started to check my vital signs like she did before, pagkatapos nun ay ang abdominal examination. Everything was normal, she said. Then we moved on to the ultrasound room. Pinahiga niya ako sa kama at pinahiran ng gel ang tiyan ko.

She started rubbing the ultrasound device onto my belly and Seth had his eyes fixed on the monitor. It looked different from the last time I had my ultrasound. Now it was starting to take on a form of a tiny baby curled up. I could see the head and the tiny limbs.

"Is that the baby?" Seth eagerly asked.

"Yes, it's the baby." Sagot ng doktor. Habang ginagalaw niya ang ultrasound device ay abala naman ang isang kamay niya sa pagkuha ng measurement ng fetus. "Base sa size ng fetus, you are eight weeks and three days pregnant today."

"This is just unbelievable." Nanlaki ang mga mata ni Seth. "Look, it's moving!" Suddenly, he looked like an excited little boy.

I couldn't help but giggle when I saw it move and my eyes started to water. Nakakaiyak na nakakatuwa. The baby was wiggling his tiny body.

"Yes, at seven to eight weeks, the fetus starts general movements." The doctor said. "An active baby is a healthy baby."

"It's beautiful." He sighed.

"Every miracle is beautiful." Sabi ni doktora. She pulled out another machine and we heard faint sound coming from it, it sounded like a galloping horse. Our doctor told us that it was my baby's heartbeat. I just heard my baby's heartbeat for the first time and I couldn't hold my tears back anymore. Nang marinig ko ang tibok ng puso niya, doon nagsink in sa akin na totoo na 'to. I was going to be a mother.

And Seth was there to hold my hand as I cry. He gently stroked my hand with his thumb as he held it in his and he comforted me.

Seth's POV

Something tugged my heart when I saw the baby in the monitor. I'd never seen anything like that before. Ngayon ko lang narananasan makakita ng fetus sa loob ng sinapupunan. It suddenly made me reevaluate my life and what I wanted in my future. It made me think of a family, of me starting a family with a wife and a children, with Marian and the baby.

Shit! Gusto kong iumpog ang ulo ko to get that thought out of my head. No, I couldn't have a family. I was at the prime of my life, I should be enjoying it. I wasn't ready to settle down. There were so much I wanted to do. I felt like having a family would go against my lifestyle.

"Luto na ang adobo." Marian peeked her head out of the kitchen. "Tara na! Kain na tayo."

When I saw her again and I heard her voice, I had a change of heart. I imagined a picture of a happy family. My kids greeting me when I get home from work, a wife cooking for me, family dinner, children laughing. Suddenly, I thought it wasn't as mundane as I used to think.

"Ano? Hindi ka pa ba nagugutom? Kakain na ako!" She lifted her brows up before going back in.

No, I didn't want to be tied down to a family. I wasn't going to let a woman run me, like my friends and my father. I tightly closed my eyes and slumped myself against the couch. I massaged my temples. I felt like my brain was at war with itself.

"Seth!" I heard Marian call me from the kitchen. "Ano ba? Masamang pinaghihintay ang pagkain."

"Coming." I lazily answered.

I went into the kitchen and saw her already sitting on the dining table. I sat on the chair across from hers. I got myself some rice and chicken adobo. She insisted we say grace first before we ate.

As we were eating, I noticed an orange thing in a bowl next to her plate. She was dipping the chicken in it before she eats it.

"Ano yan?" I curiosly asked.

"Ketchup and mayonnaise." She answered.

"You're dipping the chicken adobo in ketchup and mayo?" I grimaced.

"Oo, ang sarap. You should try it." Sabi niya.

"That's just... weird." I said.

"I know. Weird pero masarap. I'd been eating nothing but this for the past few days." She said. "Try it."

"No! I think I'll pass."

"Come on, please... Tikman mo lang." Pilit niya. She got some chicken meat and dipped it into her special dip before shoving it right at my face.

"No..." I shook my head.

"Please?" She pouted.

I sighed and opened my mouth. And my God was it disgusting. I forced it down my throat. "What the hell, Marian?"

"You don't like it?" Tanong niya.

"NO!" I said before reaching for a glass of water and gulping it down to wash away the weird taste in my mouth.

"Ikaw, ang OA mo. Ang sarap kaya." She said, happily chewing her adobo chicken dipped in ketchup and mayo.

"Where did you even get that idea?" I asked.

"Hindi ko alam. Basta isang araw nagcrave na lang ako sa adobo with ketchup and mayonnaise. I think that's what the baby wants." Sabi niya.

"Your baby's probably a stoner. He's probably smoking in there and getting the munchies." I snorted. And we both ended up laughing.

After dinner, I knew it was time to leave. I walked to the front door with a heavy heart. Hinatid niya ako hanggang sa may pinto. We quietly stood there for a moment. I didn't want to leave but I knew I couldn't stay.

"Goodnight." She gave me a faint smile.

"Goodnight." I said. My gaze dropped to her belly, my hand reached out to it and stroked it. "And goonight to you too, little champ."

Lalong lumaki ang ngiti niya sa labi. "Thank you, Seth. Thank you for being here us."

I couldn't help it. I cupped her faced in my hands and looked at her. She was beautiful, even more beautiful than the first time I saw her. Her face was illuminated by the moonlight and her pregnancy made her skin glowed. And her lips, it would make anyone believe in God the moment they taste it. I know because I did.

She stared at me, waiting ...

I wanted to kiss her in the lips, wanting to taste that god given lips, but I ended up kissing her on the forehead. And I walked away with regret, mad at myself for not gathering the nerve to actually do it.