Marian's POV

Most of the time I was happy with my solitary state. But there are times when feelings of confusion and sadness wash over me when I least expect it. Sometimes its when I'm lying in bed at night, walking out of a restaurant by myself, when I'm with my friends and all they talk about is how happy they are with the love of their lives, or when I'm in the flowershop and a couple comes in. It feels as though there's always this... gaping gap in my chest. I try to fill that gap with things that I love, hoping they'd love me back. But who was I kidding? Things don't love back.

At the end of the day, I still wait for the moment I will walk out of restaurants holding someone else's hand, the day I will fall asleep in someone's arms, the day I'd cling onto someone's body knowing I'd never want to let go. The sensation was confusing, it was like a melting pot of hopeless desire.

I furiously bit my bottom lip habang gigil na gigil sa inaarrange kong bouquet ng bulaklak para sa isang wedding. The bride was five years younger than me and she was already going to get married? Bakit ako, wala pa rin boyfriend? My first bodyshot came from an asshole, my first kiss came from an asshole, the first man I'd ever slept with (literally) was an asshole... almost all my firsts came from an asshole! Why couldn't I find a nice, decent man like this bride-to-be? This was so not fair.

"Ma'am, gusto niyo ako na mag-arrange ng bulaklak?" Flor timidly asked.

Napakunot ang noo ko at tumingala ako sa kanya. "I can do this myself. Bumalik ka na sa pwesto mo."

"Si sir Seth po nasa telepono. Hinahanap ka." Sabi niya.

"Sabihin mo busy ako." Inis na sabi ko bago ko binaling ang atensyon ko pabalik sa bouquet. She nodded and went back to the cash register. Wala pang isang minuto ay bumalik ulit si Flor.

"Goddammit palagi ka na lang busy." Sabi ni Flor at agad nag-taas ang tingin ko sa kanya.

"Ano'ng sabi mo, Flor?" I said, quite shocked.

"Sabi ni sir Seth." Sabi niya.

"Sabihin mo sa kanya kailangan ko maghanap-buhay. May totoo akong trabaho. Sabihin mo pasensya na, I don't make a living out of partying and sleeping around." I huffed.

"Ma'am naman..." Flor whined.

"O, bakit?"

"Huwag naman mahabang english. Di ko kaya. Sasabihin ko na lang busy ka talaga."

"Bahala ka." I sighed.

Hindi ako mapakali habang nag-aayos ng mga bulaklak nang hindi na bumalik si Flor. I turned my head and saw her sitting behind the cash register, filing her nails.

"Flor." Tawag ko sa kanya at agad naman siyang lumingon.

"Po?"

"Ano'ng sabi?" I asked.

"Binagsakan po ako ng telepono." Sagot niya.

Asshole talaga. I thought and tried to focus on the flowers for the wedding. But even when I try to push the thought of him out of my mind, it kept coming back like a horrible song you can't get out of your mind. Ano na kayang ginagawa niya ngayon? May kasama kaya siya ngayon? Gaano na kaya kakalat ang condo niya? Sa susunod talaga, magdadala na ako ng isang timbang holy water. Yun na ang ipanglalampaso ko sa bahay niya ng matanggal naman ang bahid ng kahalayan doon.

Seth's POV

Damn it! I angrily threw the phone I was holding on the table in front of me. Marian hadn't been here for eight days. Eight whole days and my place was starting to smell like the sweaty armpit of Satan. There were dirthy clothes just lying around, piles and piles of unwashed dishes filled the whole kitchen sink, empty beer cans and a hell lot of mess. I couldn't clean a room to save my life. Since I'm an only child, I had always been spoiled by my parents. There's always someone cleaning after me. I could never do it myself.

What was Marian busy about lately anyway? Tuwing tatawagan ko siya palagi siyang busy o wala. Maybe she'd been going out on dates? I knew how she desperately wanted to have a boyfriend. Ngayon pa lang naaawa na ako sa magiging boyfriend ni Marian. Her mouth runs off like she's racking up miles on a race car. She was a headache to be around.

Pero kapag nagkaboyfriend na nga siya, paano na ako? I mean, my house. Mapapabayaan niya na ang trabaho niya dito. She'd always be busy with her guy. Oh, hell no. She still had a long way to pay off her debt.

I stood up from my seat and decided it was time to pay her a visit. Bumaba ako sa parking at sumakay sa kotse. After a few minutes, I was already outside Marian's flowershop. I went in and she was the first thing I saw. She was in the corner of the room, making bouquets of white roses. She was into what she was doing. Her hair was all tied up in a bun, her delicate hands gently working on the flowers. Everything faded in the background. My senses just kind of... focused on her. I felt this tingly sensation flow through my blood. I wasn't quite sure what it was. Lately, I'd been feeling unsure of what I feel whenever she's around.

"Hi, sir Seth." Bati sa akin ni Flor, ang nag-iisang staff ni Marian sa flowershop niya.

Marian's head shot up like a spooked mouse's. She frowned when she saw me. "Ano'ng ginagawa mo dito?"

"Yeah, I missed you too." I sarcastically said.

"Marami akong ginagawa ngayon. Kailangan kong tapusin ang mga orders dahil bukas na ang kasal ng kliyente ko." She said as she continued to work on the flowers. "Kaya please, huwag mo muna akong guluhin. I'll clean your whorehouse once I finish my work."

"My whorehouse?" I chuckled as I walk towards her. "Isn't that a little too harsh?"

"Totoo naman." Singhal niya.

"Okay, whatever you say." I grinned, shaking my head. "Need help?"

"No, thanks." She said in an even tone.

"Are you sure?" I said, picking up a stem of white rose.

She snatched it from my hand. "Don't touch my flowers!"

"Geez, bakit ba ang sungit mo ngayon? Meron ka ba?"

Marian's POV

Porque nagsusungit meron na agad? Hindi ba pwedeng masakit lang talaga? I kept my mouth shut and tried to ignore him. What I was feeling for him was confusing as much as it was distressing. Hindi ko maintindihan kung ano itong nararamdaman ko? Kung bakit ganito? It was as if I was almost jealous. Almost.

"Ano bang problema?" He gently and carefully asked as he leaned over the table.

"Wala." I shrugged.

"Kilala kita, Marian. You're not usually like that." He said.

"Bakit ba ang kulit mo?" I said, annoyed.

"Because I want to know what's going on."

"Wala nga."

"Hindi ka galit sa akin?" Parang maamong tupang sabi niya.

He was looking at me with those pair of emerald eyes and I wanted to melt on the spot. Sige na nga, hindi na ako galit. I sighed. "Hindi..."

"I'm starving. Kain tayo sa labas pagkatapos mo d'yan." Aya niya.

Bigla akong nabuhayan ng loob. Oh my god. He asked me to eat out. I needed to hurry with these. Minadali ko talaga ang ginagawa ko. Mahirap na, baka magbago ang isip ng mokong na 'to. Within thirty minutes, I was done.

Sumakay kami sa kotse niya at huminto sa isang thai restaurant malapit sa shop. We sat on one of the tables next to the window and ordered our food.

"Ilang araw na akong hindi nakakatikim ng lutong bahay. I'm starting to get tired of the food I'm having." Sabi niya na parang batang nagsusumbong. "Kailan ka ba matatapos sa ginagawa mo?"

"What have you been eating lately?" I asked.

"Mostly, frozen food and chinese take-outs." He said.

I frowned. "That's not healthy. Bakit hindi ka na lang magluto?"

"You know I don't cook." He grimaced. "I miss your nilagang baka and your sinigang."

"Poor you. Sige, pagnagpunta ako sa condo mo, magluluto ako." I said.

"I'll make you some tea." He wiggled his brows teasingly.

I laughed, shaking my head. "Sira ka talaga!"

"I miss your loud mouth." Tumawa siya ng malakas. "God, I can't believe I'm saying this."

"Na miss ko din ang pig pen mo." I slightly smiled.

"Kanina whore house, ngayon naman pig pen."

"Pareho din yun. Dun mo naman ginagawa lahat ng kababuyan mo." I rolled my eyes at him. "Isusumbong kita kay tita Liza."

"Oh no, I'm scared." He sarcastically said.

We started teasing each other again like it was part of our daily schedule. We ate and talked and made fun of each other like little kids. Pagkatapos namin kumain nag-aya na siyang umalis. We walked out of the restaurant side by side, our hands constantly bumping into each other. For the seventh time, my hands bumped into his and he suddenly caught my fingers, linking them with his. I looked at him and he looked at me but we both didn't say anything. We just kept on walking. It felt kind of nice to have his soft, warm palm nestled against mine. I had never held hands with a man before. Another first from this asshole...

Huminto kami sa harap ng kotse niya at doon naghiwalay ang mga kamay namin. Tahimik kaming sumakay sa kotse niya. He never brought up the handing holding incident. We never talked about it. We pretended like nothing happened.

Huminto ang sasakyan niya sa harap ng bahay ko. I got out of the car and he followed behind. Binuksan ko ang pinto. Before I could invite him in, he invited himself in. Dire-diretso siyang pumasok na parang bahay niya 'to.

"Ano'ng gusto mo? Coffee, tea, or me- milk?" I asked.

"I'm tired." He simply said.

"You better go home then. Ano'ng oras na rin." I said, looking at my wrist watch. It was already 10:30 in the evening.

"I'm sleeping here. My room's a mess." He yawned. Lumapit siya sa pinto sa right side ng living room. It used to be my mother's bedroom pero naging tambakan na lang iyon ng mga lumang gamit niya. He opened it. "Where's my room?" Wow ha, feeling at home.

"Kailan ka pa nagkaron ng kwarto dito?" Pumamewang ako.

Isinara niya na ang kwarto ng makita niyang wala siyang tutulugan doon at binuksan ang pintong katabi nun. My room. He immediately went in and started stripping down to his boxers. Hinagis niya lang ang mga pinagbihisan niya sa sahig. I followed him in, picking up his clothes. Napakaburara talaga.

"Pati ba naman dito sa kwarto ko magkakalat ka." Galit na sabi ko habang dinadampot ang mga damit niya. He just climbed into the bed at humiga doon. I neatly folded his clothes and put it on the study table on the left.

"Inagawan mo na ako ng kama. Where do you expect me to sleep?"

"Next to me." He lazily said.

"Ano?!" I asked, faking shock.

"Don't act all surprised. Nagtabi naman na tayo. It's not like I'm going to take advantage of you. Might be the other way around." He said.

"Ang kapal mo!" Inis na sabi ko.

I took a pair of striped pajamas from my closet and went to the bathroom to take a quick shower. Doon na din ako nagbihis at nakapajama na ako ng lumabas sa banyo. I slipped into the empty space next to him. My bed was small, hindi mapipigilan magdikit kami habang nakahiga. Tumagilid na lang ako at tumalikod sa kanya.

"Seth..." Tawag ko sa kanya kahit nakapikit na siya. I just wanted to know if he was already asleep.

"What?" Sagot niya, hindi pa rin dinidilat ang mga mata.

"Huwag kang manghihipo ah. Wala akong bra ngayon." Sabi ko.

"Wala naman akong mahihipo." He sleepily chuckled.

"Ang sama mo talaga." Inis na sabi ko.

Hindi na siya sumagot, malamang nakatulog na. I shifted and layed on my back. I turned my head to him. His eyes were closed, he was breathing deep and slow. Even in his sleep, he still looked beautiful. His face was soft and warm and innocent. I almost wanted to kiss him. I could get used to this. Sleeping next to me. Being able to feel his chest rise and fall with his breath. Seeing the softer, more vulnerable side of him. It was so beautiful and it felt so intimate.