01 | LORD GIVE ME STRENGTH
( 5x02 — strangers )

Abilene sat on her knees, praying for her fathers safe return from his run that day. They had run out of cans a while back, leaving Gabriel no other choice but to go scavenging for food.

Abilene didn't like it. Not one bit. "The church will keep us safe, daddy. It will." She told him as the first time he went out. He insisted on leaving so she let him.

He returned almost an hour later, they ate a good dinner that night. And the rest of the week, before going for a few days with no food. Thats how it was.

Eat for a week.

Starve for a few days.

Go scavenging.

Repeat.

It wasn't something Abilene agreed with, she didn't want them leaving the church. The church was safe because the doors were sealed.

Despite that argument, Gabriel disagreed (to an extent).

"Thank you, Lord, for keeping me and my father safe. May you continue to do so, Amen." She kissed the cross and stood up just as the doors opened.

A man with a gun entered, "Hands up!" He ordered and Abilene did just that. "What's going on?" She asked, eyes widened with fear. A man with a crossbow entered close behind, "Check her." The first man motioned with his head.

The man with a crossbow slung it around his shoulders and stepped towards Abilene, "Arms out." He guided and moved his foot to spread her legs more as he began patting her down carefully.

She felt violated, despite his hands never touching her in a wrong spot.

"Stop it, what are you doing?!" She shrieked, jumping back, "No man is to-- to touch me unless married." Abilene hugged herself.

"We're just checkin' for weapons, honey." A sweet looking woman comforted as she moved the man out of the way, "Do you mind if I do it instead of Daryl?" He walked off to follow his bearded friend.

"Daddy! Daddy, what's goin' on!" Abilene yelled for him. "Hey, hon, it's alright!" The woman grabbed her shoulders to gather her attention, "My name's Carol, your dad led us here but we're just taking precautions." She introduced and explained.

"There's no weapons allowed in the Lords house. This isn't okay, you're--" She looked panicked with teary eyes,
"I don't got any weapons, neither of us do! Get them out, there are no weapons in the lords house!" Abilene yelled.

He wouldn't forgive her if she allowed this, she'd surely burn in hell for eternity if she did. The strangers looked all around the church as Carol comforted the girl who began sobbing, "Stop touchin' all 'r things! Don't touch daddy's note book!"

The group began dispersing as Abilene curled into herself on the pew she previously kneeled in front of, "We spent months in this church without stepping outside, I'd be surprised if you found someone other than my daughter inside." She heard Gabriel tell the unknown groups leader.

"Thanks for this." A young boy thanked her father. The red-haired man spoke about the bus out back, the one that Abilene spent many summers in when going to the church camp she attended for multiple years in a row.

People moved to enter.

"Hey, hold up," Carol stopped them with a sigh, "Can you all go easy on the girl? She's terrified in there." The woman's words were aimed at a young boy. His words about God and Heaven from the farm never leaving her mind. He sighed.

People began filing into the church and Abilene was incredibly unhappy. She knew her Lord would be angry at her for letting these sinners in. "How'd you survive here for so long?" The bearded man she learned was Rick asked as he held the baby.

"Where did your supplies come from?"

"Luck." Gabriel answered. "Lotta prayin' for it, too." Abilene added quietly. "Our annual canned food drive is where we got the food. Things fell apart right after we finished it. It was just me and Abilene." He looked down to his daughter.

"Food lasted a while before daddy had to start scavenging." Abilene eyed the baby curiously. She hadn't seen a baby, or any person, for a year. Maybe longer or shorter. Time was difficult to keep track of.

"I've cleaned out every place nearby. Except for one." Abilene looked up, eyes wide at her father. "What kept you from it?" A big man with a beanie asked him.

"It's overrun."

"And we don't. . . hurt the resurrected. The lord would disapprove."

A boy, young with long-ish hair, pursed his lips at her words. A couple others didn't do anything to hide their eyes rolls or deep sighs.

Abilene felt disrespected.

"How many?" Rick questioned him. "A dozen or so, maybe more." Gabriel estimated. "We can handle a dozen." The bearded man looked through his group.

A woman, Sasha, offered first, "Bob and I will go with you. Tyreese should stay here, help keep Judith safe." Judith. That was the baby's name. Tyreese, the big man with the beanie, agreed.

"You ever need me to watch her, need anything for her, I'm right here."

Abilene leaned to look at the baby, her lips pulling into a small smile. The boy, Carl, held her so Abilene could look at her. "She's beautiful." The girl commented, "Her name, too. Beautiful."

"Thanks, uhm. . . I named her." He smiled awkwardly.

"I'll draw you a map." Gabriel offered Rick but the man refused immediately, "Don't have to, you're comin' with us." Abilene's head shot up and she quickly stood. "What?! No! He's not goin' with you!" She argued.

"We'll bring him back—" Rick was interrupted.

"He won't be of any help, sir. He won't. He-- You can't go with, daddy, tell 'im!" Abilene pleaded with Gabriel and grabbed his arm. "He's comin' with us." Rick was adamant.

She shook her head and stormed off, disliking this new group. They come into her church, the lords home. Weapons raised. They disrespect God, her and her father.

They take her father away with zero remorse. She hated these people. Abilene sat on the couch in the office, knees hugged to her chest, glaring at the floor.

She hated these people.

♱

That night, while the group ate and laughed, feeling safe within the walls of the church, Abilene was unhappy. She sat at a back pew with a bowl of food, slowly eating it as she repeated the words Lord, give me strength in her mind.

She was angry at Rick for forcing her father on that supply run. He could've easily died and Abilene would've officially been orphaned. She couldn't live like that.

"I'd like to propose a toast!" The red-headed man, Abraham, announced loudly. Everyone quieted down, even Abilene payed attention. "I look around this room. . and I see survivors."

He wad talking to his group when he said that. Because the Stokes weren't survivors, they were living but this was fight-for-their-lives surviving. It's not what their family did.

But this group they brought in, one big blended family, it's what they did.

"Each and every one of you has earned that title. To the survivors." He held up his glass, everyone cheers-ing to his words. Abilene looked up once more as he spoke again, "That all you wanna be?"

"Wake up in the morning, fight the undead pricks, forage for food, go to sleep at night with two eyes open— Rinse and repeat? 'Cause you can do that."

She looked around from her dark pew, confused with his words.

"I mean, you got the strength. You got the skill. Thing is, for you people, for what you can do, that's just surrender. Now, we get Eugene to washington and he will make the dead die and the living will have this word again. And that is not a bad takeaway for a little road trip."

Thats why he wanted the bus? She furrowed her eyes brows, food finished off as she stood. She placed her bowl down with the others who finished, standing awkwardly as she watched him talk.

Judith cooed from Ricks lap.

"Eugene, what's in DC?" Abraham looked down to the mullet man. "Infrastructure constructed to withstand pandemics even of this fubar magnitude." With all those words, Abilene knew she was done for the night.

She walked around every one and made her way to the back office. Immediately she plopped down onto the couch with a soft groan. Gabriel was already there, reciting his nightly prayers.

He was finished, saying Amen, when Abilene entered. "You okay, Abilene?" He asked her. She nodded, "Yup. Did my nightly prayers, ate dinner. . . Ready for bed, now." She smiled at him.

Gabriel shook his head, "You know thats not what I'm talking about." She sighed, sitting up.

"I don't like this, dad. They're bringing sin into the lords home. Weapons, and they've killed people. Dad, we'll burn for allowing them in here!" She voiced her concerns.

"No, Abilene. We'll burn if we refuse to help those people. Women and children. . . I'm not letting it happen again." He argued.

"But, dad--" She was quickly cut off, "You don't argue with me." Gabriel reminded and she sighed. Abilene stood, placing a kiss to her fathers cheek, "I'm sorry, daddy. Goodnight, I love you."

"I love you, too." He smiled. Gabriel watched his daughter lay back on the couch, falling asleep quickly. Gabriel left the room, taking a wine bottle with him as he left the office. Rick followed.

"Father, can I speak to you a moment?" The bearded man asked, making Gabriel look up. He sat next to him, "Thank you for your hospitality. I'm surprised you let us drink your communion wine."

"There isn't anyone left to take communion." Gabriel reminds as he brings the bottle to his lips, "And the wines just wine until its blessed." He took a long swig from the bottle.

"I have to talk to you. It's about Abilene," Rick cleared his throat, "Some of us are. . . worried." His voice was low, as to not attract attention. "Worried? You have no reason to be worried. Abilene is just fine." Gabriel's eyebrows knitted together in confusion.

"Carol had to console her as she cried about us being here." Rick didn't know how to word what he wanted to say, "She said she'd burn for letting us in here." He explained further.

"She's been through a lot, Rick." Gabriel sighed, dragging a hand down his face, "She hasn't seen outside for. . . Since the start." Rick didn't take that answer, but he would have to.

The Grimes man nodded, "You're hiding something, and it's pretty obvious it's something you can't hide from. Either of you can't hide from."

Gabriel swallowed hard.

"That's your business, the both of yours, but these people. . . these people are my family." Rick's voice was just barely threatening, "And if what you're hiding somehow hurts them, in any way, I'll kill you."

Gabriel turned to look at Rick. His body was riddled with nerves.

You're a sinner. You're a sinner. You're a sinner.

The words echoed in his mind. The words haunted him. They wouldn't stop. The screams and pleads still echoed in his mind. He relived it every night when he went to sleep.

He couldn't escape.

You're killing us.

Leave me alone, he wanted to shout.

Leave me alone, leave me alone, stop it.

Stop.

Stop.

Stop.

♱
AUTHORS NOTE
uuuhhhhmmmmm . . . i have nothing so say but i wanna say hi so hiiiii!!!!!

i <3 abilene so much idc if you dislike her

world fell when she was 15/16, she's 17 now and all she's known was the church for so, so long. the best way i can explain her mind right now is that she's practically brainwashed by the church, much like i was

she's literally me idc idc idc

i love her!!!!!!!