Charlie Williams

I go to my first hour; history, and sit down in my seat just as the bell rings. Something else was up with Ollie and I need to figure it out. Something was eating at her this morning and I know it might be because Sofia's sick, but I also feel something else.

Concern? Yes but this is more concern than I would give my friends. This is deeper. Like if I don't figure out what is happening with Ollie, then I might go crazy.

I try to direct my focus to what my teacher is saying because I know it will probably be on a test later, but all I can think about is Ollie. Is she Ok? Why is she so worried about Sofia? Why did she only get a few hours of sleep last night? What was keeping her up till 1:30 in the morning? These thoughts run rampant in my head. I barely get through the lesson without leaving class to go check on her so when the bell rings, I'm already halfway down the hall. I get to Ollie as she is walking out the door to her class, and fall into step beside her. We walk to the fitness building together before going our separate ways.

I quickly change into basketball shorts and a T-shirt before walking into the gym we use to practice on. It's really nice that we have an hour everyday inside of school to practice. This is like basically another basketball practice. All my teammates are there including the group of guys I've grown closer with: Levi, Jordan, Noah, Elijah, and Aaron. I would consider us buddies. Our group chat blows up on the daily and about the most randomest stuff. Like, "I'm going to bed, what do y'all think of the fit." and proceeds to send a pic of his pajamas. That's literally what Jordan did last night. Just to show the group what he's sleeping in. But then it rollercoastered when Noah tells him he needs to "choose a different outfit because it's too similar to what he is wearing to bed." then he proceeds to send a picture of HIS outfit and Jordan ended up basically having a fashion show for us from the amount of times he had to change and get approval again. It's seriously super entertaining but also one of the most feminine things I've probably ever done and with this group, probably not the last. Coach calls us onto the court a few minutes later and we start some drills.

I walk into the locker room all sweaty from today's drills. Coach was really working us today. We were literally doing the same 3 drills over and over all of practice. It is draining enough that I make sure that I check my levels and quickly drink a glucose pouch. Luckily I have enough time to take a shower in the locker room before going back to the rest of my classes because I know I stink and I'd hate to plague Ollie with that stench. Ten minutes later, I'm waiting for Olivia to emerge from the girls locker room to go to our next class which luckily, we have together. I get a text from her:

Olivia: Where ru?

Charlie: Waiting by the girls locker room

I lock my phone when she doesn't answer right away, and look up to see her walking up to me. "Where were you?" I ask her

"Waiting by the boys locker room" Is her reply

I bark out a laugh and we fall into step together to go to English.

We arrive in English and our teacher tells us that we're watching a historical film on the book we just finished reading; Wuthering Heights. We don't have assigned seats in English so we find three seats in the back. Ollie goes to the very end, I go in the middle, and Levi, one of my new buddies, wanders over and sits next to me.

Our teacher wastes no time after the bell rings taking attendance and starting the movie. I always love these days because you can literally do anything and the teacher doesn't care. Ollie wastes no time pulling her hoodie up on her head and laying herself into her arms which are folded on the table. She lays down for a second before popping back up and grabbing her phone out of her hoodie pocket stating simply, "It was poking me" before setting it on the desk and laying back down on her arms.

I scoot down in my chair and Levi starts to show me a video on his phone. Then he pauses when he gets frustrated because he can't hear it, and grabs his air pods out of his pocket. He offers me an air pod and I grab it before he takes the second one and puts it in his ear. Then he continues to show me the video. Out of all of the guys, Levi is probably the one that I hang around the most. He's really chill and down to do whatever. The video ends and Levi shuts off his phone but not before he turns on some music for us to listen to while we pretend to watch the film. I look over at Ollie. I can tell by the steady breathing of her back that she's already asleep. She must be exhausted to have fallen asleep that quickly.

I turn my attention to the film on the projector trying to at least gain some insight because I know the teacher is probably going to make us compare the book and the film. I sit there watching for a few minutes when Ollie's phone starts to ping in with texts.

First it's a few then they start coming in faster almost every second. I finally cave and decide to look and see who needs Ollie so urgently. I open the text thread because luckily I've seen Ollie unlock her phone so many times that I figured out her password. I look at the contact and see that it's Ms. Ava. Great. She is blowing up Ollie's phone because she needs her to pick up Sofia who's been throwing up and she's not going to keep a puking baby. Even though it's not my phone, I answer Ms. Ava and tell her that after the period, we'll come and pick her up but we can't leave in the middle of a period. She gives a one word reply of fine and I turn off Ollie's phone and gently set it back down on the table but apparently I didn't set it down quietly enough, because ollie starts to stir and eventually shifts her head so her face is peeking out of her arms. I quietly tell her that Ms. Ava texted and she shoots up and grabs her phone. She reads through all the texts then turns to me and whisper-yells, "Why in the world would you tell her that I can pick her up?!? I don't have my car with me!" I can see the worry starting to form on her face, so I say, "Don't worry, I'll take you and we can pick her up together. It'll be fine"

I can see that she's still worrying so I tell her, "go back to sleep and don't worry, I'll wake you up when the bell rings." that seems to satisfy her so she lays her head back down to the original position she was in. She must be exhausted to listen to what I have to say so ungrudgingly. We stay this way until the end of class, her sleeping and me trying to pay attention to the movie.

The bell finally rings and I look over at Ollie. Everyone is quickly leaving and Levi says a quick "see ya later man" before taking off himself.

I don't want to wake up Ollie especially if she only got a few hours of sleep last night, but I know I have to. Right as I go to wake her up though, someone bumps into the side of her chair beating me to it. She lifts up her head and looks at me. I give her a smile and wait as she gets up. She stands up and looks at me still half asleep.

I laugh a little bit at how asleep she still is even though she's still standing up and ask her if she's ready to go. She gives me a small nod and closes her eyes again. I grab her and my backpacks from the floor and hoist them up onto my shoulders and stand back up straight. She instinctively leans her head and shoulder on my chest and because we can't stand here forever, I put my arms around her small frame and we start walking slowly out into the crowded hallway.

I slowly guide her to the parking lot where my car is and when we get there, she is still half asleep. Either that or she just likes to be in my embrace. I'm hoping it's the latter. We get to my car and I reach into my pocket to grab my keys and unlock and prestart it. I open the passenger door and gently slide Ollie into it, before closing her door and jogging to the other side and getting in the still cold car.

I gently nudge Ollie and ask her for the address of Ms. Ava. She sleepily grumbles that it's in Ms. Ava's contact and shifts her body away from me to grab her phone and give it to me. I pull out of the parking lot after getting the address and start the drive there. At the next stop sign, I look over at Ollie to see her softly breathing and curled up into a ball. She is completely out of it. But it's gives me gratification knowing that she feels comfortable enough to sleep and knowing I've got her and she's safe. She's kinda like my little hedgehog; they're very solitary animals and they're very shy and wary of new people, but once they form a trusting bond, they're actually quite playful and cuddly. I did a report on hedgehogs in third grade. She sighs quietly and contentedly in her sleep and I force myself to look away and continue driving.

We arrive at Ms. Ava's house and I leave Ollie in the car hoping she can continue sleeping. I walk up to Ms. Ava's door and knock hoping that she'll recognize me. She opens the door and luckily I see the recognition dawn on her face and she lets me in. She then hands me Sofia's diaper bag and a feverish Sofia in her car seat. She then whips me out the door and closes it as soon as my feet are off the threshold. I walk little Sof to the car where I open the back and buckle her car seat inside. I place her diaper bag on the floor then I close the door and walk to my side and get in. Ollie is still asleep. Good she obviously needs it if she's in this deep of a sleep.

We arrive back home and I start to wake up Ollie. She slowly wakes up and looks at her surroundings and realizes that I've already gotten Sofia and we're at home. She looks at me and quietly says, "Thankyou for doing this." and then she opens the door and gets out and I do the same.

She grabs Sofia and I grab her diaper bag as we start walking up to the garage where she inputs the code and the garage roars to life as it opens. We walk inside and she immediately sets down Sof and takes off her shoes. I set down the diaper bag and do the same. She then bends down and unbuckles little Sofia from her car seat and takes her out and cradles her against her chest.

She starts to walk into the kitchen and goes to the fridge to get a sippy cup with water out for Sof and hands it to her. Sofia starts to drink the water and Ollie goes into the living room and starts changing her diaper on the little changing station they have in the corner. I follow after her and sit myself down on the couch figuring she probably wouldn't like me trying to take over. After she finishes, she brings Sofia upstairs to her room. She comes back down with the sippy cup and a baby monitor in her hand. She puts the cup back in the fridge and comes and sits down next to me. "Thankyou again, you don't have to do this for me, and honestly? I don't even know why you are." She says looking at her hands in her lap.

"You're welcome. But I like helping you with Sof and the others" I reply "I like kids remember?" I say trying to lighten the mood.

"But why? Why do you like being around me and why do you like helping me so much?" she asks and I can hear the frustration starting to come into her voice.

I give a one syllable laugh and say, "Can't you see Ollie? I've got a major crush on you. I have since the moment I saw you. Even though I've only been here for a short time, I'm already more concerned about you than your parents probably are. You make something stir inside my chest. I don't know what it is, nor have I ever felt this before. I want to figure it all out with you. I want to know all the ins and outs of you and I want to be able to feel with you and maybe even fall in love with you. And I'm begging you, please don't shut me out. I know I'm saying a lot; but if I'm saying something wrong, feel free to straighten me out but please, just listen to what I'm saying." I already know there is a 50/50 chance of either her shutting me out and making me leave, or letting me stay and we talk about it and possibly become something more. I find her eyes downcast and try to gauge her reaction. Her eyes are wide, her breathing has become sporadic and she has this tortured look on her face. Oh no. What. Did. I. Do.

Fear seizes in my throat; I think I took it too far. But once I was voicing my feelings, they all just came tumbling out.

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Olivia Beckham

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-just listen to what I'm saying." I hear his voice but I can't register what he's saying. I can't breathe. What did he say?!? He wants to LOVE ME?!? Why can't I breathe? I'm gonna die. I can't have a panic attack in front of him. My throat feels swollen. I can hear Charlie telling me something but I don't know what it is. He's trying to get my attention. What's he saying? Why can't I hear him!?!Oh no. no no no no no no no 

What's happening? Why can't I do anything? I can feel tears gathering in my eyes. Why am I crying? I feel something on my cheek. It's soft and warm. It's comforting-it helps me. But what is it? Suddenly it's gone and my cheek feels cold again.

Charlie's still trying to talk to me. He wants to LOVE ME. What in the heck. No one's ever wanted to love me before.

 I. Can't. Breathe.

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Charlie Williams

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I don't know what to do. I think she's having a panic attack but I've never known anyone or experienced them myself so I don't know what to do. I try to talk to her: "Ollie look at me." "Ollie breathe" "Olivia just relax." But it's like she can't hear me. She's crying now and she has tears streaming down her face. I use my thumb to wipe them away and she looks my way. Ok so maybe I need to touch her? 

I decide to go all the way and I pull her into my embrace and just hug her. I can feel her racing pulse and clammy skin. She's grasping at her chest like something's suffocating her. I hug her gently hoping that I'm not doing this all wrong. I don't know what to do. Suddenly an idea pops into my head: call mom. I gently release Ollie because I can't tell if it's doing her any good or not. and grab my phone out of my pocket and quickly dial mom. Luckily she answers right away and I explain the situation in a panicky voice. She tells me I need to talk to her so I try talking to her. But again, It's like she can't hear me. I tell my mom this and she tells me to tell Ollie I'm going to touch her then to start rubbing small circles on Ollie's back. As I'm doing that, she tells me to take her hand and bring it up to her chest so she can become more aware of her breathing. She tells me I need to be calm when she relaxes and to just keep acknowledging her surroundings with her. Then we say goodbye and she hangs up. I mentally make a note to research some more about panic attacks.

I continue rubbing her back while her breathing starts to return to normal. She finally looks at me with her tearstained bloodshot eyes, and I hold my arms out for a hug to which she falls into and starts to cry again. She wraps her arms around my torso so tight that it surprises me that such a tiny human has such strength. I slowly start to rub circles on her back through her hoodie again. We stay like this for at least 15 minutes until she is calmed down enough that all I can hear is the occasional deep breath of her trying to control her breathing. I look down at her to see her eyes are closed and she looks much more relaxed. I still my hand that's on her back and as softly of a voice I could mutter, I say, "Are you ok? Are you feeling better?"

I feel her slightly nod her head in my lap and it makes me smile that she feels so comfortable with me. I take this opportunity to figure out how we're going to go about this because obviously this wasn't the right way. I decide I need to let her take the reins and we can go from there. I reach behind my back to unwrap her hands when she just puts them right back where they were. I chuckle out of her decisiveness to stay in my clutches. "Are we going to talk about this?" I ask her softly

"No" is the grumpy response we get. Like a little child refusing to clean up their toys.

"Did you hear anything I said ollie" 

"Yeah I heard most of it" comes her muffled response. "But I don't understand why. Why you feel that way and why you feel that way about ME."

"I don't know why I feel it but I do, and I think it's my soul's way of telling me I've found it's mate." I say, "Don't you feel it? That tightening in your chest, and the way your heart beats a little faster when we enter each other's proximity."

"I'm no expert, but I'm pretty sure that's supposed to mean something. And it's not just because you're new and different. It's because I know I have found my person and I think you know it too, that deep down you know that I am speaking what you're afraid to say."

I feel her breath hitch and I know that hit her hard. She suddenly sits up and looks at me with the most tranquil expression on her face. 

"My soul knew I needed solace, and destiny sent you. I feel it too" She says with silent tears streaming down her cheeks and a wobbly smile.

I give her a smile and it feels like I've finally come home.