"WHEN YOU KISS ME,
DO YOU WISH IT WERE HIM?"
word count: 2,986

WONWOO had no intention on coming to the stupid party Chan and Seungkwan dragged him to. His friends were social butterflies, they flourished in crowds no matter who was in it and in all means, were extroverts. Wonwoo, who preferred being at home finishing his new novel was much more pleasing to his soul, not shitty edm music that filled his ears and sweaty groups of college students that grinded on each other awkwardly. Totally, not his thing.

But, the only reason he did come was because Kim Mingyu was going to be attending it. Stupid reason he supposed at first, that was until Seungkwan started to reason with him - well sort of. The younger began to insult the boy, calling him a hag who had no game when it came to love and of course it somewhat triggered Wonwoo. Especially since it came to the topic of his flirting skills and relationship status in general. He was highly aware of the fact that his close friend had a boyfriend, they've been dating for a couple of months and he would say Hansol was a good guy. They clicked perfectly, had small differences and taste but there were similarities within them if that even made sense. They were a good couple, and to admit his true feelings - Wonwoo was merely jealous of the relationship they have. "It's too loud," Wonwoo mutters to Chan, who's standing right next to him near the kitchen's island, "I might as well go back to the dorm, there's no use for me here."

"You have to attend at least one college party." As Chan tries to reason with the older, but Wonwoo still doesn't see his purpose being here. Technically he was attending it, so him leaving could give him the right to say he did attend at least one party. "Don't hit me with some smart-ass saying that you did attend it if you left right now."

Wonwoo takes a sip from his drink, chuckling, "You got me."

"I would go and find the others. I have a feeling you wouldn't want to tag along, but, I don't want to leave you here."

"How sweet." The older sarcastically states, giving him a small smile. Chan rolls his eyes from his remark. "You can go look for whoever, I don't really care."

"What if I bring Mingyu to you?"

"What! Why?" With just his tone, it was clear that Wonwoo didn't want that. Chan didn't understand why, they're buddies, isn't that simple enough?

"Cause you're friends? Friends talk to each other."

"You're right. But, he may be my friend but he is also my crush." The ravenette points out with a strong emphasis on the last word, Chan obviously ignores him. "besides, I bet he's busy with other people."

"With that attitude you aren't gonna get a man."

"I'm not a fisherman trying to reel him in with a dumb hook. I want to get to know him more before risking it all. I'm not gonna play myself like that." He explains, gripping on to the blue solo cup. "What do you know about relationships? You're like six."

"I'm actually nineteen you oldie," Chan shoots back, playfully hitting his shoulder. "As a third year you should be dragging me to parties. Not the other way around."

"I can drag you to the nearby coffee shop, they have good lattes." Wonwoo teases, Chan finally had his last straw and walked away from the older boy. Wonwoo, who shouts out his name doesn't receive any response, his eyes capture his figure disappearing within the crowd and out of his sight. "Now I can leave."

There was nobody stopping him, the door wasn't that far. All he had to do was unlock it, open it and leave. Simple as that, as his feet was about to commit the desired action he was stopped by a fourth year student. That being, Wen Junhui. His face was recognizable as his appearance wasn't unfamiliar at all to anyone in the performing arts community at their school. "H—Have you seen Hao?" He breathily questions, gripping on to Wonwoo's shoulders as he was obviously stressed. "I haven't seen him, he ran off."

"No..I haven't." His low voice answers, Jun stress levels exceed more and Wonwoo can feel the pressure increasing on his body. "H—Hey! Can you let go? You're about to break me..."

"Sorry.." Jun realizes that his strength was too much and releases from the boy, "I'm just worried, I've never seen Hao drunk and I'm afraid of what he's capable of."

"You dating him or something?" Wonwoo awkwardly questions. From his observation, it was either Jun was a highly worried best friend or in boyfriend mode. He couldn't tell because it could be either-or, but his red ears gave the answer away. "So you—"

"No! We aren't!" He shouts, waving his hands around to distract Wonwoo from thinking about the topic. "If you see him, please tell me." Jun finally ends the conversation there and runs off to go looking for the younger male. Wonwoo couldn't even inform him about the fact that if he did find Minghao, how would he find Jun himself to tell him about his whereabouts and location? Silly boy. Wonwoo walks away from the kitchen in order to find a quieter location, if that even existed.

"Young love," The ravenette says in awe, somewhat satisfied by the fact that he was able to see that side of Jun right in front of his face. Maybe it was able to teach him a couple of things, dissecting such a simple moment can potentially help him with his romance skills. Especially since he needed help with Mingyu.

He and Mingyu met during orientation. As Wonwoo was one of the individuals assigned to show incoming students around the campus, Kim Mingyu was one of the newbies placed into his group. He had a quiet aura at first, someone who seemed to be a prestigious student, respectable who emitted top student vibes. But, that was until he opened his mouth. As they sat in a classroom to begin their introductions, chairs arranged in a circle for everyone's faces to capture everyone else's. Mingyu was the first to begin, his voice - loud, tone - powerful, energy - outstanding. He made many jokes, acted cute in situations where it was unnecessary and basically was a high school class clown. If there was someone who had similar energy to his, the duo would be too much for Wonwoo's ears.

Wonwoo believed that's what caught his eyes, the fact that he perceived such an image that was far from his actual being was outstanding. It was respectable somewhat. But, Mingyu opened up to Wonwoo quickly as they were partnered up during a small 'get to know each other' activity. He explained how he was forced to act like a top-notch individual due to his parents. But, it wasn't only that. Society itself viewed him as that type of person when they first take a glimpse at him, nobody would know the true Kim Mingyu unless he displayed them himself or decided to throw his fucks away. Which happened once he got into college. He's been accustomed to being someone he wasn't, so now it was his time to shine. Wonwoo really admired him as for a good amount of his life he's played as a different character.

Though he admired it, he could never be it. Wonwoo always stuck to what he knew best, it was only because stepping out of his comfort zone made him feel a bit uneasy. He always had second thoughts, although following his gut seemed like a good idea he just never went through with any of the potential decisions that could have been completed. But, there he was, standing in the hallway head pressed against the wall. Mingyu's head was tilted up, exposing his adam's apple and slight portion of his collarbone as his white shirt seemed to be a bit disheveled for some apparent reason. Wonwoo wanted to turn the other way, but that was until a group of students pushed him into the hallway stumbling closer to Mingyu. With the noise increasing within the younger boy's ears, he snaps his head back to its original position.

Crap. Is all Wonwoo shouts in his head, realizing that Mingyu has acknowledged his existence. There was nothing wrong with it, but the boy looked at him with drowsy eyes - he was tired, no, drunk?

"Mingyu, you okay?" He questions out of worry, internally his head was going berserk but he wanted to know if the younger boy was doing alright. His health was more important than his cowardliness.

"Fine.." He mumbles, walking towards Wonwoo shortly. The older ravenette can smell the alcohol that reeked from his mouth, as much as he wanted to gag from only getting a whiff of it. Wonwoo kept his composure, "Hm.." Mingyu's noise is inaudible, but he can't help but stare at Wonwoo. "Pretty.."

Wonwoo begins to back away as Mingyu becomes closer, but the younger takes action and pins him to the wall. Pressure on Wonwoo's left shoulder as Mingyu examines the smaller boy, "you're..pretty..."

The words made Wonwoo's heart shake, he swore that the organ was about to pop out of his mouth and although that image was gross, it was the mere truth. Mingyu has his heart, saying simple phrases like those only made him fall harder. But, the boy was drunk, so did he even mean it? "Gyu...you're drunk. Come on, let's go find someone okay?"

"I want..to stay with you," He affirms confidently, though his tone was soft he could tell that the boy meant it. "can I kiss you?"

What? Kim Mingyu asking to kiss him? The moment he was currently in is basically his whole dream, but with Mingyu's state, Wonwoo felt as if he would he taking advantage of the boy and that was something he didn't want to regret if he did accept his request. As much as he wants to, he has to deny. "Mingyu I—"

"Okay."

Although he wasn't able to fully hear his answer, the intoxicated boy pressed his lips against Wonwoo's. Warm and soft, they seemed to be covered in a flavored gloss as the older boy was able to catch a hint of vanilla. But, things started to take a toll when Mingyu began to use his tongue. As much as Wonwoo wanted to refuse, he melted within seconds once the taller wrapped his arm around the boy's waist. His other hand slipping behind his head to keep the distance between them nonexistent. This felt too good, too good to be true. "Gyu.." He whimpers, finally able to breath as the boy starts to attack his neck. Wonwoo uses his hand to grip onto Mingyu's shoulder, "Gyu..you're gonna regret this please..."

"I'm not gonna regret this.." He states, leaving love bites on the boy's neck gently. His lips were the definition of tender, the amount of time he took with each kiss and suck made Wonwoo want to stay. But, things didn't feel right. Especially since Mingyu was indeed under the influence of alcohol. "Hao..you're so pretty.."

Wonwoo swore the noise in the room became unreal, there was only silence and the colored lights that flickered throughout the house stopped once he heard the wrong name called. Hao. Minghao. "H—Hao?"

"Why'd you chose Jun?" He mutters with a hurt tone, the boy continues to leave his love bites although he was unaware that the person was far from Xu Minghao. "I can treat you better..."

Wonwoo pushes the boy away from him, eyes already filled with tears as he rushes away from Mingyu as fast as possible. Suddenly, he finds himself dashing towards the door without any second thoughts but Seungkwan stops him. He watched the boy come from the hallway, looking a bit heated from what he caught. "What happened? Where are you going?"

Wonwoo, avoiding eye contact didn't dare to answer. If he did, he would have started bawling at the stupid party. He wanted to go home, that's all he wanted to do. But, before he could even reach the door Seungkwan had a deadly grip on his wrist. Waiting for the boy to merely explain. "I—It's Mingyu okay! Just, let me go home." He finally admits, swatting away the younger's hand and exiting the building. Seungkwan shouts out the boy's name, but it was useless as the music trampled over his call.

"I knew it! I knew this would happen!" Wonwoo wipes away his tears although more only fall down, he sprints towards his dorm. He was aware that Seungkwan wouldn't chase after him, but he didn't want anyone to see him in such a state. He felt so vulnerable, generally he kept most of his feelings disclosed. But, when it came to Mingyu he was a chatterbox to his friends. Simply because, that's how much he liked him. But, no. The feelings weren't returned and their relationship could now be labeled as unrequited. There was nothing more to the story and Wonwoo was ready to face another night of tears with only his pillow knowing the story.

♡

The next morning, Mingyu wakes up on Seungcheol's couch. The party finally dying out, he was one of the last people to stay as he was close friends with the host. His head going crazy, he was greeted with Jeonghan who made him some hangover breakfast and treated him with a glass of water. The blonde places it on the coffee table in front of him, "You should get some more rest, I'll make you some tea later when you wake up." Shortly, the older boy leaves and Mingyu throws his arm over his eyes to block the light hitting his pupils.

His phone buzzed a couple times, he was pretty sure it was from his roommate Seungkwan since he didn't come home. He was sure that the younger boy was at the party as well, but maybe he went back to the dorm early. Slipping his phone from out of his pocket, he received an excessive amount of messages from the boy.

kwannie
> text wonwoo

kwannie
> pls text wonwoo

kwannie
> IF YOU'RE READING THIS PLS TEXT WONWOO !2$2!2$2$

kwannie
> i will shove a breadstick up your ass if you don't text wonwoo

kwannie
> actually calling him is better PLS CALL HIM

"Call Wonwoo?" The demand was quite odd, why did he need to call the boy? Did something happen between them last night? Navigating his phone to his contact list, he finds Wonwoo's name and presses on it without any hesitation. Waiting for the call to go through, a couple of seconds later he catches the older's voice. "Wonwoo! Seungkwan told me to call you, I know, quite unexpected but did you need something? Anything happen last night?.."

"Yeah..something did." Wonwoo admits, staring at himself in the mirror. His right side of his neck was filled with reddish marks, the boy wasn't aware that they'd be that prominent on his skin. "I'm sure you don't remember. Idiot."

"Well..I'll be able to know if you tell me."

Wonwoo pokes his tongue into the side of his cheek, eyes dead as they were puffy from releasing Niagara Falls last night. "I think..it's best if you don't know."

"Well? Can I at least get a little bit of context?"

The other line was silent, Mingyu didn't really know what to do within this awkward situation and as much as he wanted to use his brain to think, he has a massive headache which was affecting his train of thought. "Wonwoo?"

"When you kissed me, did you wish it were him?" The answer to that was obvious, Wonwoo didn't need a response. But, the boy wanted a bit of context and that's all he was gonna receive. Before he can question any further, Wonwoo cuts off the line and slams his phone onto his bedside table - screen face down.

"What?" Mingyu watched as his screen returned back to his contact list, he tried to call Wonwoo again, attempting many times but all of them simply went straight to voicemail. "Wish it were him?" He mutters, throwing his phone somewhere onto the couch. What did he do last night, did he kiss Wonwoo? From what he said, that definitely could be the case. But, what went wrong from there?

"Hao..you're so pretty.."

"Hao.." Mingyu mutters to himself, that's all that could come to mind. Calling out his crush's name though he belonged to someone else.

"When you kissed me, did you wish it were him?"

The young male sits up from his position, his hand covers his mouth as it fell wide open after connecting the dots. No. He didn't, he didn't do that to Wonwoo and play with his feelings like that. An ass move, he was an asshole, so much happened in the spam of how many minutes. He felt like a terrible person, he really did. How was he ever going to make it up to the boy? He couldn't lose a friend like Wonwoo, he just couldn't. Would Wonwoo even want to talk to him ever again? There were too many questions that couldn't be answered within the moment.

Would he be angry at him forever? Starting now, things were unpredictable.

But, the real problem was, Mingyu would never come to the conclusion that Jeon Wonwoo wasn't angry by the fact that he kissed him, but by the fact that he kissed him without realizing that Wonwoo was in love with him..

END

> ahh!! i know the quote is in
past tense but it would make
more sense since the situation
happened in the past so >-<