Emma's Pov
A couple days later.

I sat on the edge of the bow of the large ship. The ocean glimmered below me and the moon reflecting off the cool waters. The waves crashed into the boat in a steady rhythm.

It was pitch black, calming. I never thought the ocean would be this calming in the middle of the night. No one in the world could hear me and I couldn't hear anyone else. It was somewhat calming to me. No more people to shout at me to be a better princess, no arranged marriages, no people telling her what to do.

I was starting to think that Hook kidnapping me wasn't the worst thing that could've happened. The only thing that wrought my mood was the parchment underneath my fingertips, rough, worn and stained with tears.

I never cried, except for when this letter was in my palms. It reminded me of a time I let my heart get the best of my head. Something I plan to never let happen again. I replayed his words in my head, letting them sink in, painfully from the words he had written months ago. But it was the only way I knew how to stay strong.

My Dearest Swan,

Was I really all that dear, I thought.

You will always belong in my arms, even if you don't feel the same way. I will always long to hold you close to me and make you feel safe.

Then where are you now?

Most times it seems impossible that they will ever see their brightest star ever again and so they plunge into even more darkness than they were before. Darkness that ruins them and pulls them away from the ones they love. It corrupts their innocence and their pure hearts.

He let me fall into the darkness with him, anyways. So why couldn't we make it work through our mistakes?

Because when the other stars ask me if I still love my sun, I will always say yes.

Is that still true? To him? It is to me.

I wish I could tell you I was coming.

I wish you could.

I wish I could reverse time.

I do too

You were wrong to trust in me.

You're right. I was.

But I could only hope that you will never forgive me because if you do, that will mean that you never loved me enough to let me be close to you heart, close enough to break it in a million pieces.

I did let you in. And if you were here, I don't know if I couldn't forgive you.

I can't seem to stop blaming myself.

Me too.

But I know it is better to break your heart now, instead of living with a life full of broken trust and heartache, a life full of lies. I want your heart to shatter on the floor in to millions of pieces, so let it. I want it to slip through your fingers and break so quickly that you don't remember the pain.

But it still hurts.

I am never coming back to you and you can't do anything to change that.

But I could have.

Move on from this.

I can't seem to do tha.

Don't let yourself be stuck on me. I am not worth it.

But I am. And you are.

Forget. Forget that night, forget this letter, forget anything that happened between us. It is not fair to either of us to be stuck on each other. Not when it is impossible for us to be together and impossible to pick up our broken pieces.

The tears sting my eyes. But I can't. You mean too much to mean to just forget.

I don't deserve you.

Neither do I.

Find someone who can love you more than me.

It would be impossible.

I love you and I always will.

I love you too.

Tears steadily run down my dirty cheeks. Rereading the letter only brings me pain, but better pain than nothing.

At least it's pain from him.

The only man who has and will ever steal my heart.

I wipe my eyes as I remember the kiss we shared. Only moments.

But moments I will never forget.

Forget.

Has he forgotten like he said he would?

I haven't.

I stare off into the midnight shade of blue that reaches towards the rippling water.

"Calming isn't she?" A voice comes from behind me.

I snap my head around, shoving the letter into a pocket.

Hook.

Suddenly I feel very self conscious and I have no idea why. I am in a thin nightgown with nothing underneath, but it's not like he hasn't seen it before. It was the only way I could still be alive. If he stitched up my wound, by undressing me. But still. I felt weak.

I turned away so he wouldn't see the tears on my cheeks.

"I hope you know. This isn't escaping," I said sternly, trying to keep my voice from cracking.

"I suspected that you would come out of the dark cave of my room eventually. Don't worry lass. As long as you don't throw yourself overboard, you are free to roam the deck," He says, but I can see him reprimanding himself for being nice to a prisoner.

"Good, because any longer in that dark room, lying down, I might have gone mad," I force a laugh.

He chuckles, "I guess so."

There is a moment of silence.

"How are the stitches holding up?" He asks, sitting down next to me.

"The healing has made a lot of progress recently and thankfully I don't have an arrow sticking out of me. So that's a good thing," I smile, looking at the small space between us because of the limited space on the edge of the bow.

He chuckles again, "You're welcome," he smirks.

For once he isn't harsh or demanding. And for a second I see a sparkle in his eye instead of the deep harsh pupils.

"Get your head out of your ass. You're the one who made it lodged into my skin in the first place," I nudge him in the ribs, easily because of how close we are.

He grunts, but smiles.

The first smile I have seen from him that isn't a smirk.

We just stare off into the distance, the boat sliding through the waves, comfortable in a silence.

I don't know how long we sat there in silence, but it felt like forever.

"Does it still hurt? For you?" I ask, before thinking.

It's late and I'm not thinking straight.

"What?" He looks at me.

Actually looks at me, not past me or like most men, below my collarbone. Especially considering the thin hardly modest garment I wore, it was nice to know not all men only cared for a woman's body.

It makes my heart flutter.

Emma is a pirate. Stop. He kidnapped you.

But my head hears none of that.

"Losing the one you loved? Does it still hurt?" I say sighing, removing eye contact and returning it to the sea.

"Aye. Not a day goes by where I don't wish that I did something different. Maybe I could've made things work out. You know?" He answers.

I nod.

"How 'bout you love?"

"It hurts. Even though I should just be angry. I can't be. And that's why I have to protect myself, so it doesn't happen again," I grit my teeth.

"Any man who throws away a woman like you deserves what they get. Like me. You don't deserve that pain," Killian frowns grimly.

"Maybe. But I got hurt nonetheless," I sigh, "Do you ever think we'll fix it? Our broken hearts?" I turn to him.

"I hope not, because to me it's a reminder to hold onto the good things in my life. Like my ship, my crew..." he says, "and to never make the same mistake twice."

He stares at me, his mouth parted, gazing into my soul.

My breath hitches.

"You think it's true. That we can still be happy?" I ask, gazing back.

"I hope so," he glances at my lips, closing the space between us.

I lean in too. Just wanting to be truly loved again.

"Emma," Hook whispers, hardly touching my lips with his, rubbing his finger down my cheekbone.

He connects our lips. I don't protest, kissing him back.

He slowly pulls my plump lips into his, gripping my waist.

And suddenly it hits me.

I reject his lips. Stepping back onto the bow of the boat, flusteredly brushing my hair behind my face.

"Emma?" Hook says, following me.

"What were you doing?" I asked.

"I thought that maybe you felt it too. I know you did. You kissed me back and..." Hook tried to reach out to me.

"You are just trying to make me into your pants," I say, stepping back.

"I promise I'm not. I want to fix my past mistakes and try at love again. You said it yourself. Give up revenge?" He says.

"No. That's not it. You're a pirate. You kidnapped me. This is not out of love." I angrily say.

"And how do you know that?"

"Cause I know love." I say fiercely.

"Do you? Because last time I checked the man you so called "loved" abandoned you. That's not love," he says back.

"And you do? You did the abandoning. From what you told me," I say through gritted teeth.

"Why are you so afraid of love?" He asks.

"Because of people like you. Breaking hearts. I am not making the same mistake twice, just as you said," I say before turning on my heel and storming off to my room.

What do you think? I miss your guy's comments last chapter, so keep them coming. Spam me if you'd like. I encourage it.

Anyways you guys are awesome!

Thanks for sticking with me!

-pinacolada07