We practically have nothing left in this world except Umma's shop.We are now officially labelled as poor people but what gave me hope is that we are the richest at heart because we still have faith in Allah and we believe in qadr,be it a good one or a bad one.I think its appropriate to talk to my mom so that we should go and live with her family.Though she never talk about them,I know that they exist and maybe they had a problem she is not ready to talk about ."Umma I think Billy's parents have done too much for us already. We should just go and live with your family as for my education we will find a way out in shaa Allah"she kept quite for a very long time before she finally speak up with tears in her eyes"I am sorry to say this to you now,I know that I should have told you since,but the memory is too painful for me.Your grandparents are no more!I was an only child and I never know any of my relatives. Whenever I asked my parents ,they use to tell me that soon enough I will know,but I never find the answer before they died.Basically,we are all alone in this world we have no one except Allah.I am really sorry your life is so messed up.I wish I can give you the kind of life that your peers will wish to have"I cried my heart out that day.What if Billy's family eventually get tired of taking care of us and send us out?what will happen to my education and what will happen to me if my mother die and leave me?who is going to take care of me?Yah Allah! Guide me to the right path, don't let me go astray and grant my mother long life. I prayed all night till after fajr before going to bed.I woke up by noon with a serious headache and high fever.Umma came into the room to check up on me "yahsalam Siddika you are so hot what's wrong?Are you having a fever?"she worriedly asked and I nodded.She went out and after some minutes came back with zaid ,Billy and their mother behind her.Zaid asked me some questions which I answered with difficulty.He checked my body temperature and gave me some pills .I was left alone to have some rest.I spent a week indoors before I finally recuperate and it was decided that we should go back to school but we are no longer staying in hostel.
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I received a lot of goodwill messages from my course mates and symphaties a few weeks after school resumed.l kept all my problems aside,bury them at the bottom of my heart and locked them away.I concentrated on the task at hand which is my studies.I studied extra hard and I never relent or loose hope in prayers.I always wake up at night to tell Allah my problems because He sees,He hears and He answers.I don't think zaid will like to have me as his wife after all I have no one except my mother,we live under their roof and they practically feed us.He has been calling me for a week but I refused to pick his calls,his messages were left unanswered .To be honest I love him so much,I know and he knows everyone knows that but I can't do that to him.
After school on a Tuesday afternoon ,I decided to visit Zahrah and sleep over at her house.As I was walking towards the entrance of Billy's house which is now temporarily my house I saw zaid coming in.I decided to turn back and pretend that I didn't see him but it was too late because he saw me too."Assalamu Alaikum .Good afternoon Yaya" as soon as I greeted him I kept on walking but he followed me"wa alaikumussalam,there is nothing good in this afternoon and the afternoons you ignored me.If I have done anything wrong atleast you should have told me so that we will sort it out,that's how a relationship works .I beg of you habibty please tell me "He ruffled his hair in frustration." You have done nothing wrong to me ,The problem is with me,I am no longer the girl you want to spend the rest of your life with,my life is messed up and I don't want to inflict it on you.I am sorry, I love you but I am not selfish to make your life miserable"I said with tears in my eyes."please don't do this to us habibty,I love you for the sake of Allah and not because of anything, I can be with you even if you are blind,deaf,dumb,crippled and ugly.I love who you are siddy not your beauty not your body but your heart. If you want to give up on us because of your problems or because you don't have family, I know about that for a long time,your mother have told me about it and it doeant make me love you less .stop beating yourself over what is not your fault please"I frozed.So he knows about my family all this while? What have I done to deserve him?he is too good to be true."please Siddy don't leave me .Do you have faith in me? Do you have faith in Allah and qadr?"he asked and I nodded"then please give us a chance trust me and above all trust Allah He will never let us down"he advice ."I am sorry" I whispered and he nodded with a smile.