Firstly, I need to say that while writing this, I was listening to First love from Yoongi and this song puts me in a sad depressed kind of mood and I now see this has affected my writing lmao. It's a lot more intense than I expected but it fits the situation so I don't really mind.

"H-hello" I say in a shaky voice, ignoring Yoongi who's now in my room with worried eyes. "Hello, Y/N. We have an update from last time thanks to you and need your ability again. We would like to ask you to come over again, right now". The line cuts there and I let my phone fall on the bed.

I bring my knees to my chest and hug myself, as if to hide from the world. Namjoon can't go through this. He just can't. I don't want them all to feel what I feel from this. Not when everything was going so well. Why now?

I feel hands shake me and I look up to see Yoongi's confused eyes. He cups my cheeks and says something, but I don't hear anything. A sob leaves my throat as tears make their way to my eyes. "They called again. I don't- I can't do this to you all, is there any way I can block the bond?" I ask him in a shaky breath and I feel his heart shatter.

"Oh baby" he whispers and takes me in his arms, bringing my body in his lap and hugging me tightly. "You can't block the bond, Snowflakes. Do you need to go now?" he asks me in a soft voice and I nod, my body shaking more and more from what's going to happen.

"I'll tell the others to come here okay? We'll get through this and we'll be waiting for you, we'll wait until it's over, okay? We'll all be here" he says, trying to soothe me but I know they'll have a hard time. Namjoon is going to suffer so much. "Does Namjoon need to be here to break the barrier? I can't keep it, I can't" I ask him again, eyes looking up at his face, into his teary eyes.

"Namjoon needs to be here and I know he won't want to remove it. I just told him to get everyone, he's aware of what will happen. You need to trust us, Y/N, we knew what we were getting into when we completed the bond with you".

I long and broken sob echoes in the room from his words. You dumb man, Namjoon. Why must you be so proud? Why care so much about me if it's going to break you? Yoongi kisses my head as he tries to calm me as much as possible through the bond, to calm the others who can feel my growing panic.

I don't have time to think about what to do, not now, I need to go, I can't wait any longer. But the thought of getting away from Yoongi makes everything worse, as if I'll start drowning as soon as I'm standing up. He seems to understand because he brings us to our feet without letting go of my body.

"Let's go" he murmurs and we go to the front door, putting on our shoes again and going outside. He locks the door and follows me to the center, his body supporting mine. It's like strength has abandoned me, my legs threaten to give up under me anytime, but he's there by my side, not leaving me alone. With every step we make, I can't help but start imagining what I'll see, what I'll feel, how the victims were killed, how it's going to affect Namjoon and the others.

They won't make it here before the pain starts and I'm so scared. Scared for them. I know what they went through from the memory with my family, it shocked them to no end, this will be no different.

"Everything will be fine. If it makes you feel better, I'll contact your friends, I'll have Eunwoo come to fetch you, okay? Everything will be fine. Everything will be just fine" Yoongi repeats, like a mantra, as if he needs to make himself believe it too.

I nod, the thought of my brothers being with them a soothing thought. They can watch over my soulmates. "Please do, ask them to come over, I don't want you all alone" I whisper and he nods as he gets his phone out.

When I see the door to the building, all sounds that enter my ears sound muffled, echoes of words that don't make any sense. My anxiety is doing damages to my body right now and there's nothing I can do, because this is nothing. Nothing compared to what's to come.

I stop in front of the door, body frozen. Arms turning me towards a chest and arms keeping me close. The warmth that leaves my body when he steps away. No, no no, don't leave me. Panic flashes through his eyes but at the same time, someone comes outside to fetch me.

No words are spoken, he just pulls me inside as I keep looking at Yoongi, staring at his angry eyes until I can't him anymore. I try to turn back, to go back outside, I can't do this. The hold on me strengthens and it hurts so much. I look at the faces around me, they seem so confused. I've never reacted like this before, I know it, but things are so different now.

"I think it was one of her soulmates, she's bonded now" I hear and silence follows as we make our way to the corridor and into a room.

"She bonded with all seven of them, look at her finger. Their panic and hers together must drive her crazy. We'll have to take notes of this for next time as well". They lock me on the chair so I can't move anymore and I start hyperventilating. I need to go, I need to go now. I stare at the faces around me, so many faces.

A machine is brought next to me and soon half of my face is covered. Oxygen enters my mouth and nose and soon it takes over, I can't go against it anymore.

"One of our spies was killed and thrown our way, they wanted us to find his body. We need you to find out what he discovered". A picture is shown in front of my eyes, a mutilated body. Eyes gouged out. No more teeth. Throat slashed open. How can I make Namjoon go through this?

But I can't hold it off any longer, I don't want them to force me to use my ability. So with gritted teeth, I connect to the picture. And the hesitation makes this a painful process. My soul wavers, shakes and freezes. I try to force it to move, but it's like breaking ice. Painful.

"Now" I hear and I nod, I know what I need to do. But I can't. I can't. The contact stops. The picture disappears. Oh no. If they do what I expect them to do, I won't be able to exit the memory by myself, I-

Someone grabs my arm. Something pierces my skin, a liquid injected. My thoughts become blurred, uncontrolled anymore. My sanity slowly leaves me and they show me the picture again.

This time, when they ask me to try again, it's as if I'm controlled, I connect to the picture right away, Nothing else matters, just getting the job done. I don't really understand what I'm doing, but I know it has to be done. My eyes become someone else's and it begins.

I've been acting as a spy for a few weeks now. I made them trust me and I sadly had to commit some atrocious acts for the sake of my cover. Today, I'm supposed to meet the boss, I hear he's impressed by me. It feels good. Is this bad? To be proud of being recognized by a dangerous man? I pass by doors from which I can hear screams and shouts. I got some of them there, I feel bad. 

I see Minho open the door for me with a smile. He's never smiled at me before, this is a good sign, right? I enter the room to see a few people inside. I've seen them a few time, they're high ranked. And the boss on the chair. I freeze. Park Seo-Joon?  I thought he was a low rank. I actually treated him like shit once. My smile disappears.

But his smile widens. "I guess you're starting to understand why you're here. But it might not be exactly the only reason. You see, my own spy told me of your... purpose here. Now that I know why you're here, I guess I'm going to have to be careful before I say names right? What's her name now... Y/N? She's the one who's being used by your organization, right? That poor girl having to go through all those deaths and tortures just to protect the rich". My blood rushes out of my face and I waver before falling on my knees.

How did he get that much info?  I'm going to die, aren't I? That girl is in danger now, this is bad. At least, she'll know now, they can protect her, right? "Don't worry, we don't intend to kill the girl. But she would be a great asset to us. Not now though, she'll find out anyway, having her scared is enough to me. Even if she sees my face, they won't be able to find me so I don't really care. But for that, I need to kill you, you already know, right?".

Hands grab me and I try to fight them, to make them release me, but it's a useless fight. They'll do terrible things and it'll hurt. Mom, I'm sorry... so sorry, I was such a bad son. Please tell her that, that I love her, and I'm sorry.

"Get his eyes out first, I want him to focus on the pain. The girl has handled worse so don't mind her too much" Seo-Joon says and I start shaking. My eyes? They'll get my eyes? My face is taken between hands and fingers take actions. They push, it hurts so much, so much. My eyes. Crushed. I wail in pain, my whole body shaking as if I'm having a seizure. It hurts so much.

Even when the hands are away from me, I can't help but cry and scream, I want to get away from here. "See, little girl, this hurts right? Having to go through this just because of your ability, the way you're used without having a word to say, no control over your life. Aren't you tired of this? Don't you want a way out? I can offer you respite, a calm life, if only you help me, we can work together".

No, no, don't believe him, it's a trap. He'll make you do terrible things too, you'll suffer. Just hold on a bit longer, your contract ends in eight years, then you're free. You can do this, endure. Don't let them get you. 

"Get his teeth too, my collection is still too small". The pain continues, as they start pulling one teeth at the time, my mouth is in fire. Blood flows freely and threatens to drown me. I cough, but their hold on my head bent backwards doesn't help. It hurts so much. But I feel myself slip away. I'm going to die.

"He's already going to die? He's weak. Remember, little girl. Think about my offer. Think about it carefully. You can either accept and make this easy. Or you can refuse and make this hard. Just think about it".

I feel something pierce my chest. My breath is stuck, I can't breathe anymore. I fall to the floor, but I can't feel anything else other than the plain from my face. It's so dark. I'm so tired. I've done enough, right? This is enough? I drew a map of the place, it's in my desk, tell them, it's- My throat, they...

I'm dying. He's dead and so will I if I can't get out. I got the information, how do I leave? I feel myself float, it's so dark. Did they hear everything? I'm in danger, right? They'll protect me, right? But first, they'll help me out of here, they have to. They injected me, so they know I can't. But maybe they think it's too much of a bother now since the enemy knows me. Maybe they'll let me die too.

"Bring her back" I hear and I sigh in relief. They hesitated, didn't they? They wondered if it was better to let me die. I feel shocks go through my body. Again and again. My sight becomes blurry, but I see colors. But I can't see clearly.

Faces everywhere around me. What is going to happen now? What will they do to me?

"Nothing to do for now, release her. We got enough information. Just keep an eye on her for a while. We'll take action soon, with enough luck we'll stop them". The shackles on my limbs are unlocked. They force me up on my feet and bring me to the door, through the corridor and out of the building. I can't even walk, so when they let me go, I fall down to the floor.

I hear shouts. Then hands on me, on my face, in my hair. I look up to see who's there, which face will greet me, but the drug's still active. I feel sick. So sick. "She'll throw up, let's-" I empty my stomach. I feel like shit. What is happening? What happened? Where am I? I feel so confused now.

"They drugged her, the bastards. Let's get her home, she needs rest. Don't worry, this happened before, remember? She'll be fine. It's temporary, help me bring her".

Who's speaking? Who's there? Why can't I speak? I can't see anything, it's so blurry. The light hurts.

"Shhh, it's me, MJ, Y/N. MJ and Eunwoo. Let us take over okay? You'll be fine, you're safe now. Your soulmates are waiting for you. Namjoon, Yoongi, Seokjin, Jimin, Jungkook, Hoseok Taehyung. They're all at home, they're fine".

Those names sound comforting. I guess I do know them. Can I sleep? I'm so tired, I'm just going... to take a-