Before I get started, a little sweetheart asked for a link to get one of the wallpapers I made of BTS and I thought I could simply share my Pinterest board where I put all of them! So here it is:

https://pin.it/1ClBgLK

I have quite a few so don't hesitate to use them if you like any!

If the bond isn't enough to have me on edge, the door slamming open loudly is the final move to have me jumping to my feet in nervousness, my chair pushing back from the impact. Oh they look mad. Like really mad. Even Jin, his eyes usually soft and warm, are filled with angry concern.

"I would ask that you do not break our home with your unreasonable anger. Please" Seo-joon says from his seat and I gulp, legs frozen in place and lightly shaking when I hear Namjoon and Yoongi growl at the same time.

"Unreasonable anger? I think that quite on the contrary, we have good reason to be mad. What's that about connecting to pictures? In her state?" Namjoon says with a tensed and controlled voice, his eyes falling on me as he speaks.

I gulp and look away from his gaze. Rain stands up and gently brings me back to my chair to make me sit down when he notices that I can't move. "Don't fucking touch her" Taehyung claims strongly and my breath hitches in my throat. Rain is quick to step back once I'm seated, but not without huffing out a small smile.

"Her state is more stable now, connecting to pictures won't hurt her" the older man says as he turns around to stare at my soulmates, but the seven of them are not backing down. "She is not doing that. Berry, come here, please" Hoseok urges but I don't move, not that I could even if I wanted to, the bonds filled emotions of all kind keep washing through me and my body can hardly process them all while still remaining sane.

"I- I need to do this. It's nothing dangerous, it's just-" I start explaining but "No! Kitten, we already lost you once, we're not going through that twice. Don't make me come get you myself" Taehyung warns, his outburst making me shut my mouth in shock.

Seo-joon sighs and rubs his temples. "Look. I get the worry, I really do. I also wouldn't make her do something if it would only aggravate her state. She came to me for this, Rain made sure that she's in a stable state to handle this and I'm making this happen, not by force, but by choice" he says, his tone calm and I really wish the others would listen.

But instead of calming down, they burn brighter. A fire coursing through their bodies and reaching me through the bond, sweat starting to gather on my skin and making me fidgety on my seat.

"It's not because she comes to you that you have to agree! You should have told her to wait! Her soul is just now getting better, why the fuck should we lose that progress now?!" Jin exclaims, brows into a frown and he turns to me before waving a hand for me to come over. "Now you come here, hun, we're going back to our room".

I shake my head. "I won't. Eunwoo is in danger, terrible things are probably being done to him right now and I can't stand still when I know how suffering it must be!" I counter, the confidence in me quickly washing away when Yoongi's head snaps my way, dark eyes glaring into mine as he steps forward.

"Stop being so damn stubborn! You fucking died yesterday! What are the chances of Taehyung being able to bring you back again, uh? Be honest, what are the chances?!" he roars, worry behind every words, anxiety overwhelming the bond, but his tone so, so dark and scary that I can't help but shrink in my seat.

Jimin touches his arm, his bond going softer to try and calm the fuming man but Yoongi won't look away from me, although his gaze becomes just a little less harsh.

"Bun, we're just worried about you. You can do this in the coming days, but you're just recovering from dying and coming back to life. Give your soul some rest. I'm sure Eunwoo would understand, he wouldn't want you to rush into danger for him" Namjoon tries, voice gentle and calm, a hand lifted up my way to invite me to them.

He's right, as always, but I can't just give up like that. "But I also know that he would go through hell and back again if he had to for me. What I was about to do is nothing bad, Joonie. It's just gathering information, there's no hurting, no pain, nothing. Just listening to the information they have to say, I can do this" I plead, heart breaking at the thought of Eunwoo having to be stuck suffering for days because I can't do anything.

Yoongi stumps his foot on the floor and shakes his head. "You can't- Just... Would you please just listen to us? Please?" he exclaims, voice shaky and his expression looking so hopeless.

Seo-joon sighs and stands up from his chair before turning to me. "Obviously, they're not ready to believe us anytime soon so just go with them, we'll do this another time" he says and my eyes widen at that, hand going to grab the hem of his shirt to stop him from leaving.

"Please no, Eunwoo needs help as soon as possible, I'm not going back until we get as much as possible. You said others might be in danger too, there are too many depending on us for me to stay still and let them decide for me" I say, watch as he turns back to me, eyes searching mine before he pokes the inside of his cheek with his tongue, no more signs of leaving as I release him. 

The bond goes both surprised and betrayed, the feelings breaking my heart but I can't just back down from this. "Baby jewel..." Jimin whispers, eyes sad for me, but also for our soulmates. Taehyung looks torn, eyes analyzing me, Rain and Seo-joon while Jungkook looks ready to come get me, just barely hanging on with Hoseok holding him with a good grip as he too observes me.

"Please, just trust me. I know what is within my limits and what isn't. I was told of a way to use my ability without immersing myself too deeply into the pictures and I want to learn. The more I control my ability, the better I can protect myself. Now rather than later, who knows how long we have? Let me do this" I plead, eyes begging for them to give me a chance.

Yoongi turns his back to me, his fists clenched and without warning, storms out of the room. "Fucking whatever" he lets out before disappearing. Jimin, the worried sweetheart that he is, rushes after our hurt soulmate after shooting me one last look.

I feel my eyes fill with tears but I rub them away, mouth quivering slightly from the shock of my bond with Yoongi growing dry like a desert. As if he just locked himself into a room away from me. Does he hate me now? Is it really so bad that I want to do something to help that is within my limits? They could even stay around to make sure I'm fine through the whole process, take me away when they say that enough is enough, I wouldn't mind, but can't they trust me? A sob bubbles out of my throat and I try to swallow it, resulting in a broken sound filling the room.

Taehyung, observant of details on a level above the norms quickly hurries to me before he even hears me and throws his arms around me tightly to push me into his chest. "It's okay, Yoongi is... scared, very scared, he doesn't mean to lose control of his anger, he simply doesn't want to lose you again. I'll trust you, okay? It's important to you so I won't get in the way. I want to stay with you though, I need to see that you're fine with my own two eyes" he says, his warmth transferring to me causing me to let go of some tears before I nod, soothed that at least one of them would believe in me.

He pulls back from the hug and ruffles my hair sweetly, gentle fingers then wiping my cheeks. I purse my lips, throat closing up as I try to keep another sob from leaving me, head tilting into his touch and his part of the bond melts, softens and blooms. Hands going to cup my cheeks, he leans down and gently presses his lips against mine, a comforting and soothing that calms me and makes me forget for a brief moment that our soulmate group is currently split and hurt.

He pecks my lips a few times, then going up to my nose and over shut eyes to try and pull a smile out of me, to make my hurt become weaker and more tolerable. I sigh in relief as the weight wrapped around my heart fades just enough to allow me to breathe more easily. He pulls back and gazes at me with warm eyes. "Feeling better, kitten?" he asks and when I nod with a tiny smile, he hums in satisfaction.

I bring my attention back to the others when I remember that they have yet to say anything, notice Jin gazing at the door, his jaw clenched tight, worry eating him from the inside, Jungkook in no better state and Hoseok seems to be already gone, unable to resist the urge from caring for the shard of his soul that is hurting and weeping. Did he lock his side of the bonds from the others too?

Namjoon seems to notice the look on their faces and rests a hand on Jin's shoulder. "You two can go. I'll stay behind with Taehyung, we'll make sure everything goes well and we'll bring her back to our room once we're done" he says and when they turn to me, as if waiting for the final approval, when I nod slowly, they're off in seconds, feet quickly taking them away from me.

Namjoon comes over, still hesitant about the whole situation, eyes staring at the two older adults as if they could pull a wrong move any time but when he stands in front of me, Taehyung stepping aside to give him some space, the arms that encase me into a hug are soft and loving.

"I'm sorry for not listening and trying to force our opinions on you. We're just... we're all scared for you, bun. Not much good has resulted from your ability recently and it feels... impossible for you to use it without it hurting you. I think it's going to take us some time to remember that it doesn't only bring you bad, but also good" he explains, deep voice tender and appeasing.

I nod against his shoulder. "I know... I'm sorry for running behind your backs, I knew I wouldn't have been allowed to go otherwise and I acted selfishly. I shouldn't ask for trust if I can't give it back... Are they... do you think they'll still want me? You don't hate me, do you?" I ask, voice trembling again and he leans back to stare at me with a frown, a shake of his head quick and confident.

"Of course they'll still want you, none of us hate you, absolutely no one" he soothes, eyes searching mine as he sends as much love as he can through the bond, but it doesn't do much considering it's a pain resulting from five other soulmates hurting away from me.

A hand sets on my shoulder and I look up to see Rain smiling at me. "You don't have to feel bad for holding on on your end, you're your own person and you're allowed to make decisions for yourself. They're hurting, yes, but you can't control everything, nor can you take this away from them. They'll process it, they'll calm down and then everything will be fine. Once they see you coming back as if nothing happened, it'll soothe them" he says knowingly.

Taehyung hums his approval. "The others who left after Yoongi didn't do so to get away from you, kitten. Yoongi is simply a hard shell to crack when he's like that and it's best to not leave him alone. They trust us to stay with you, you showed them that it was okay to go and that's why they could leave. Wide open arms will be waiting for you once we get back to them".

Allowing myself to breathe in and out slowly to calm down, I let their words sink in and appease me a little. I could have handled things better, but the end result would probably be the same anyway. I don't regret putting a foot down. This needs to happen, whether they want to or not. My resolve coming back stronger, I clear my throat and roll my shoulders to try and clear my mind.

Seo-joon takes a hold of the pictures he had ready for me and clears his throat. "Now, let's not keep everyone waiting, why don't we get started?". I look around to see the men and women silently waiting, smiles sent my way, ones a parent would give to their confused child. I forgot about them.

I blush at the sight and look back to Namjoon to see his endeared smile, creased eyes on me. "Don't hesitate and tell us when you've had enough, don't overdo it, okay? A little is still more than nothing at all" he tells me and then steps back to stand by Taehyung, the two of them analyzing the few pictures they can see, visible relief on their faces when they see no deep wounds, no dead bodies or immense pools of blood.

"I'll be keeping a look on her state, so even if she feels like she can do more, if I consider it enough, then it's enough, don't worry" Rain reassures the two of them and they nod, a gaze shared between my two soulmates before they put their attention on me.

Seo-Joon organizes the pictures in order on the table and beckons for me to get closer, my chair pulled behind me until I sit right in front of it. "Before we get started, we'll do a test on a harmless picture, we'll see whether you can control the intensity of the connection".

He pulls out of a pile a picture of a beautiful dog, clearly happy. I shoot him a look, noticing the light pink coating his cheeks. Now that's something I didn't expect. Is that his dog?

"Don't say anything" he warns me, as if he can see the smile threatening to peek out. I bite on my lips and shrug, notice his eyes narrowing at me, the tiniest hint of a smile on his lips before he sighs and gives me the picture. "Focus. Don't become the dog with your whole being. It should be like a caress from one soul to another. Look into it, but don't become it" he explains.

I hum, my soul tingling with excitement at finally being able to use my ability without it hurting me. To be useful in a way that won't hurt me, that won't try to kill me. That's how it should always have been. To not be scared of using it.

I stare at the dog and smile. I love connecting with pictures of animals, especially dogs. They're so full of life and such positive, loving beings. It's a little sad that I can't connect as deeply as usual, but it should be easy enough.

"Alright, let's do this" I mumble as I let my soul reach out to the piece of memory.