"In order to be free, we must learn how to let go. Release the hurt. Release the fear. Refuse to entertain the old pain." Mary Manin Morrissey

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XXXVIII. Side by Side

Noah blinked his eyes, again and again, as his vision cleared. It took a moment for him to register exactly where he was. What didn't take long to realise was the freaking hunchback that was ringing the bells of Notre Dame inside his skull. It felt seventeen times worse than any hangover he'd ever experienced in college.

He was in a hospital room and thank God for that. With a headache like this, he needed to see a doctor. Noah's logic then quickly set in. Why the fuck was he in hospital? What had happened? Was he okay?

He could hear the noise of monitors, the beeping and pinging of machines that were attached to him. A clear drip was dropping liquid in through an IV in his arm, and there felt like there was a wire brushing against his leg. Where the hell did that lead?

"Noah?"

He heard Sophie's panicked voice and he felt her hands latch onto his forearm. Her face appeared before him, brows furrowed, and brown eyes swollen and red. She looked like she hadn't had any sleep, like she'd been up all night worried sick about him.

"Sophie?" he said, his voice unintentionally sounding like a croaky groan.

"Oh my God!" cried Joy. "Oh, baby, you're awake!"

"Mom ... what happened?" Noah grumbled almost incoherently.

"You don't remember, you big dope?" Tally asked angrily.

Tally was mad at him. God, what had he done? The last thing he remembered was ... wait, what was the last thing he remembered? He remembered landing in London and seeing Sophie at Pete's. He remembered seeing Maddie at school ... and that was about it. He wasn't sure how much time had passed.

"No," he mumbled, squinting his eyes. "What happened to me?"

"You went to see Beck," Sophie told him seriously, looking about as fragile as a china cup on the edge of a shelf. "You tried to fix things for me, and he antagonised you. He tried to pick, and fight and he punched you. You went down straight away."

Noah had no memory of going to see Beck. He didn't know what his purpose had been, but he could guess that it would have been to get the lowlife to drop his ridiculous case through any means necessary. He wasn't a man of violence. He'd never thrown a punch in his life, and he couldn't imagine that he would ever fight the guy.

Out of the corner of his eyes, he saw his mother press a call button on the wall. He could see that Joy wasn't happy. She had a lot of pent up yelling to do, and Noah knew that she believed whatever he'd done was stupid. As soon as a doctor cleared him, the woman would definitely try and ground her thirty-year-old son.

"I'm so sorry he did this to you," whispered Sophie, utterly ashamed.

Noah wasn't even aware of whatever it was that Beck had done to him, but he sure as well knew that it wasn't Sophie's fault. But he couldn't tell her that, as Joy beat him to it.

"It's not your fault, Sophie," Joy assured her. "My son was the big idiot who wouldn't listen to me." Okay, so maybe she wouldn't wait for the doctor.

The door to his small hospital room opened, and a middle-aged doctor wearing navy scrubs and carrying a tablet entered. He looked pleased to see Noah, and he stopped at the end of his bed.

"Good afternoon, Noah. My name is Doctor Sanders," he introduced himself. "How are you feeling?"

"Like crap," he answered truthfully. "My head is killing me." Noah lifted his right hand to rub his forehead, but instantly realised something was wrong. His arm felt different, heavy, and upon looking at it, he saw that his whole forearm was in plaster, and two of his fingers were in some serious looking splints. His eyes widened, which only worsened his splitting headache. "What the fuck happened to my hand?" Noah cried out in despair; his voice still raspy. "Oh my God, what happened?"

"Karma happened," retorted Joy. "That's what not listening to your mother looks like."

Noah glared at his mother. "Jesus, Mom, now it not the time. My whole freaking career is my hands!" Noah had been advised years ago to take out an insurance policy on his hands. He never imagined something would actually happen, and he would give all that money back if it meant he could play.

"Noah, calm down," instructed the doctor. "Mrs Bentley, please." The doctor went over to his drip and adjusted something, and Noah felt his pain nearly immediately dull.

"It's going to be fine," promised Sophie, rubbing his left arm.

"Noah, you presented last night with a compound skull fracture," began Doctor Sanders, who proceeded to tell Noah every detail about the last eighteen hours.

Noah was shocked to say the least. He'd never encountered anyone who'd had a skull fracture before. It was honestly an injury that sounded like something that could only happen in a movie or a TV show. But one punch to the head, right in the sweet spot, and he'd very nearly had a serious, traumatic brain injury.

He'd fallen apparently, and broken some ribs, his wrist, and two of his fingers. Simple fractures apparently, that would heal by themselves. Physical therapy would help him to play the piano again, and Noah would start researching therapists immediately.

To monitor the slight swelling on his brain, he still had a wire underneath his skull. One of the machines in the room was tracking this activity, and Noah was both alarmed and amazed that something like that was possible.

"Do you want to know how they got that wire in there, Noah?" remarked Joy sarcastically. "A neurosurgeon drilled into your skull. Drilled! Might as well have drilled a hole in my heart and slowly bled me to death. Would that have made you happy? My slow, painful death?"

Noah knew he would not hear the end of this. "How long until I get the wire out of my head?" he asked the doctor. "You said my brain is fine, swelling's not a concern. The fracture will heal by itself ..."

"You have a serious concussion as well, Noah, so I'm going to leave it in for the next twenty-four to forty-eight hours just to be on the safe side. You'll then be taken to theatre and sedated to have the wire removed comfortably."

"His shoulder's okay though, right Doctor?" Tally asked, concerned, motioning to Noah's left shoulder.

Doctor Sanders frowned. "Yes, there was no injury to his shoulder."

"Good," replied Tally, smiling, before she promptly punched him right where she'd pointed. "I oughta kill you!" she cried angrily, her face turning dark as she turned on her heel and stalked out of Noah's hospital room.

Sophie jumped in surprise, and Noah flinched as his shoulder throbbed. Joy followed Tally from the hospital room promptly. Noah had scared Tally, and he didn't want her to feel that way. He'd scared his mom, and he'd scared Sophie.

"I think there is obviously a lot to talk about. I will be back to check on you in the next hour, Noah. Please hit the call button if you need anything." He smiled grimly before leaving the room, closing the door behind him.

"I mean, would it be selfish of me to hope that you're not going to storm out of here, too?" Noah wondered half-heartedly.

Sophie's face softened as she sniffed and wiped one of her eyes with the back of her hand. "I'm not going anywhere," she promised, and Noah's painful chest filled with warmth. "I know why they're angry at you. They want you to be safe, as do I. But I know that you went to see Beck for me, and for Maddie, with nothing but pure and good intentions. You went to fight for us, and nobody has ever done anything like that for me before." Sophie chewed on her bottom lip to stop it from trembling. "I am so sorry that you were hurt, Noah, and I am so, so angry, so furious at Beck for hurting you like this. It could have been somuch worse, and I don't know what I would have done had your injuries been more severe than they were." Sophie rolled her eyes at herself. "Oh God," she complained, "I need to stop crying." She shook her head. "As it is, you have a bloody wire monitoring your brain!"

Noah didn't know what he'd said to Beck. He didn't know what Beck had come back with. Obviously they had not reached an agreement, but he wished he had managed to come away with something. All he'd succeeded in doing, it seemed, was putting the people that he loved through more stress.

"I'm sorry," he said sincerely. "God, I'm sorry for piling onto what you're already going through." He would make the same apology to his mom and to his sister when they decided to come back.

Noah actually couldn't recall a time when Tally had ever been seriously angry with him. He hadn't scared her before like he'd managed to now.

Sophie shook her head, as a small, emotional smile teased her lips. "I'm just glad you're okay. You don't know how glad." Taking a breath, she added, "But I need to ask if you want me to call the police. Beck assaulted you ... he could have seriously hurt you ... in fact, he did seriously hurt you."

Noah thought on it for a moment before he suddenly got an idea. "I obviously didn't achieve much when I went to speak to him. But what if I leverage this against him?" he suggested. "He drops the custody case; I don't file a police report."

Sophie suddenly stood up from the bed and stared at him, and Noah felt a rush of cold from where she'd been. "What? No!" she cried. "No, this is entirely separate from the custody petition," she insisted. "He doesn't get to walk away from this through bargaining. He could have killed you."

But Noah could see the conflict in Sophie's face as she said the words. She was tempted but didn't want to admit it. Noah didn't blame her at all. He held a potential ticket to making sure that Maddie stayed where she belonged.

"No!" Sophie said again, as though she was trying to convince herself.

There was a sudden knock on the door, and both Noah and Sophie turned their heads. He hoped it was his mom and Tally returning, but it wasn't. When the door opened slowly, Noah was shocked to see Beck awkwardly standing in the threshold.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Sophie demanded to know, her teeth clenching.

Noah was so used to a mixture of cocky and possessiveness from Beck, coupled with small man syndrome. Right now, he looked shattered. He, too, didn't look like he'd had a wink of sleep. Noah doubted it was through concern for him, but because he was worried about the repercussions.

"Look, I'm sorry to be interrupting ... the only reason they let me in here is because I told them I was your cousin," Beck said uncomfortably as he stepped into the room tentatively. Beck's eyes were filled with fear and anxiety as he looked over Noah in the hospital bed. He ran a hand back through his hair as he sucked in a tight, shaky breath. "Shit," he said under his breath, though loud enough that Sophie and Noah could both hear. "Are you okay?"

"What does it look like?" Sophie exclaimed. "No, he isn't okay! He has a skull fracture, and he could have had brain damage. And look at his arm, his hand! Look what you did!" Sophie positioned herself at the end of Noah's bed, creating a barrier between them.

"I'm sorry!" cried Beck. "I came to say sorry. I don't know why I did that ..." Beck stepped around Sophie so that he could look at Noah. "I don't like you, but the second I did it, I regretted it. I knew better, and I'm sorry."

Beck did sound very sincere. He knew he'd messed up badly.

Despite Sophie's objections, Noah was going to offer him the agreement. He would drop everything against Sophie, and Noah wouldn't file a police report. But Beck beat him to it.

From inside his jacket, he produced a folded document. He held it out to Sophie, who cautiously took it from him. Sophie unfolded it right away, and she began to read its contents.

"I, Kyle Becker, do hereby relinquish all parental rights to Madeleine Cartwright ..." Sophie trailed off as she read the rest of the document in pure shock.

"I had my lawyer send a copy to yours, and to the judge, but I wanted to bring a copy to you, Soph," Beck said quietly. "I don't know what's going to happen with the criminal case ... I hope it's dropped. Jeez, I'm sorry, Soph. It's no excuse for what I've put you through, but I hope that this is a start. It's the right thing to do. Maddie belongs with you. I'm no good for her, and I nearly took ... I nearly took her dad from her. I realise that now."

Sophie gripped the document tightly as her brown eyes found Noah. She was shocked and trying to get her head around what had just happened, as was Noah. He certainly hadn't expected remorse from the man, but then, Noah had never nearly killed someone himself.

"And what if Noah wants to make a police report?" Sophie rasped. "Will you take this back?"

"I can't take it back, Soph. It's signed. Maddie's yours, just like she always has been." Sighing, he added, "Look, I can't stop you from calling the police. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't hoping you'd forgive me. I don't want to go to jail."

"Neither did Sophie," said Noah tersely. He stopped himself from saying anything further. He needed to think for a minute. He'd gotten what he was going to bargain for without having to actually bargain. Sophie had Maddie, and she quite possibly was going to have the charges dropped against her.

Maybe it was a good thing that Noah couldn't actually remember the assault. He didn't want to drag things out. He didn't want to hang around, give statements, wait for a court date ... not when everything could be finished today.

Noah had exactly what he wanted. Maddie was safe, and Sophie was going to be okay. They could start their lives together, and they could forget Beck after today.

"I don't want you contacting Sophie ever again," Noah told him sternly. "Don't call, text, email, nothing. You are not her responsibility, and she is no longer your punching bag, your object to make yourself feel better. You need to move on separately, and we will do the same." After a pause, he added, "I think you should also see a therapist. Someone to help you move on from this, to make better choices. You can't do this to another person, as they might not be as lucky as I am."

Noah saw Sophie cup her hand over her mouth as her eyes watered again. Could she see the light at the end of the tunnel, the same as he could? God, what he would give to never see pain, fear or anxiety on her face ever again.

Beck shuffled on the spot as he nodded his head. "I get it," he told Noah. "This is it." Beck took one last look at Sophie, exhaling as he did. "You take care of yourself, Soph. Take care of you both." And he left, closing the door behind him.

Sophie's arms dropped to her side, still holding the letter in a vice grip. "Are you sure?" she asked in disbelief. "Please, please, do not do this for me. Do not do another thing for me that you might live to regret."

Noah actually laughed, though his morphine drip wasn't strong enough to mask the pain in his ribs as he did so. "Sophie, trust me, I am doing this for me. I know what I want. I want you, and I want Maddie, and the life we talked about. I want to leave this behind and start fresh together. I know it's not going to be as straightforward as that, but so long as we're taking those steps together, I'm happy."

An elated smile spread across Sophie's face as an age of stress melted away. She raced around to his left side and knelt on his bed beside him. "I'm excited," she almost sang. "God, how good it feels to be excited."

Noah chuckled. "I love you," he said simply. "Now would you go and find my mom and Tally? I've got to suck up. Then you need to go and pick up Maddie. I want both my girls here together."

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Hope you enjoyed it!!

We're nearly finished - still a little bit to go! I know a lot of you would have wanted me to crush Beck into a million pieces, and even though he deserves it, I honestly believe he is remorseful (she says as though he's a real person *face palm*) and I sincerely hope (again, she says as though he's a real person) he learns from this actions and becomes a more selfless person through the help of a psychologist.

Secondly, there comes a time when for your own health, sanity, and future, you just need to move on. I want Sophie and Noah to move on, not to dwell on the past. Honestly, as I wrote that for them, I felt a virtual weight lift off of my own shoulders as though I was setting them free (again, she says as though they are real people!)

I'm hoping I'll smash out the rest of this story over the weekend so that I can get the first chapter of my new book up before I go back to work on Monday. We're planning for remote learning ... but I'm freaking PRAYINGGGGGGGGGGGGG that we don't actually have to do that. Literally as I typed that I felt my anxiety in my chest spike.

It makes me so upset at the thought of not seeing my kids. I'm actually tearing up now. Gah I'm so pathetic lol. I love them like they're my own!

I hope you all continue to be safe! Wear masks if that is the health advice in your area! Wash your hands, sanitise, and social distance xxx

Vote and comment!!