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Ep.9: Time Traveler's Pig

Stan had prepared a fare (for some reason) in the back of the Mystery Shack, and we of course had to help.

Stan: There she is, girls, the cheapest fare money can rent! I spared every expense.

You, Mabel, and Stan: *see a sky trim fall with Dipper inside*

You: *cringe* Ywouch.

Dipper: I think the sky trim is broken. Also most of my bones.

Stan: *laughs* This guy!

You: *help Dipper out* You ok, Pine?

Dipper: Define "ok"

Stan: Alright alright, I got a job for you three. I printed up a bunch of fake safety inspection certificates, got slap one on anything that looks like a lawsuit. *gives you, Dipper, and Mabel some flyers*

Mabel: Grunkle Stan, is that legal?

Stan: Where there are no cops around, anything's legal!!! Soos, how's that dunk tank coming along? *walks over to Soos*

You: To be honest, I couldn't care less about this fare so *burn the paper*

Dipper: Can you burn mine as well?

You: *snort and hold a laugh, then see a guy with a gray body suit and goggle and turn serious* ...

Mabel: Is something wrong, (y/n)?

You: Uh... y-yeah yeah, just thought I saw someone familiar...

Dipper and Mabel: *look at each other confused*

Time passed, it was twelve o'clock, and Mabel and I were getting random snacks. Later on we saw Dipper and Wendy hanging out by a snack cart. Some mustard fell on her sleeve and she left to clean it, leaving Mabel and me to go on and encourage/tease him.

Mabel: Look at you too, getting all romantic at the fare!!!

Dipper: Psh, c'mon, it's no big deal.

You: Uh, yeah it is!!! You finally had the courage to ask her to hang out!!!

Dipper: Ok, you're right, it is!!! Isn't this amazing?!? I just dove in!!! I just said "Hey, you wanna hang out at the fare?!?" And you know what she said?!? "Yeah, I guess so!!!" It totally worked!!! All your advice about just going for it, it's finally paying off!!!

Mabel: When are you gonna learn, Dipper?

You: Us girls are always right.

Mabel: Hey, do you smell a galloon of body spray?

Robbie: *walks over* Hey, any of you dorks seen Wendy around?

Dipper: *glares at Robbie* Who wants to know?

Robbie: *steals some cotton candy from Mabel*

Mabel: *pulls the cotton candy away* Hey!!!

Robbie: Yeah, just got some new super tight jeans, *eats the cotton candy* thought she might want to check'm out.

You: Why in hell would she want to check those out? Unless she purposely wants to be scarred for life.

Dipper: Yeah, you know I think I saw her in the Bottomless Pit, you should really go jump in there. *smirks*

You: (Whoa, that response was better than mine! Go Pine!)

Robbie: *glares at Dipper* Maybe I will, smart guy. *purposely bumps into Dipper as he leaves*

Mabel: He is such a jerk!

Dipper: Yeah but he's a jerk with tight pants and a guitar, I need to keep him away from Wendy at all cost.

Mabel: Don't worry, brother, whatever happens we'll be right here supporting you every step of the- OH MY GOSH A PIG!!!!!

You: *gasp* WHERE?!?!?

You and Mabel: *run to the pig area*

Farmer: If you can guess the critter's weight, you can take the critter home!!!

You: Oh my fireball, they're so adorable!!!!!!

Mabel: *looks at a specific pig*

Pig: *oink oink*

Mabel: *gasp* He said Mabel!!!

You: What?!?

Mabel: Either that or doorbell. Did you say 'Mabel' or 'doorbell'?!?

Pig: *oink oink*

You: Definitely 'Mabel'!!!

Mabel: *holds her cheeks and tries not to squeal*

Pacifica: *passing by* Oh look, Mabel here found her real twin!!!

You: *growls at Pacifica then gets ready to throw a fireball but get stopped as Mabel grabs your wrist, then let out a huff as she lets go*

Mabel: Sir, I must have that pig!!!

Farmer: Ah, old fifteen-poundy!!! So how much you guess that he weighs?

You and Mabel: *share a glance*

Mabel: Um... fifteen pounds?

Farmer: ... are you some kind of witch? *gives her the pig* Well, here's your pig!

Pig: *oinks*

People: *applaud*

Mabel: *gasps happily*

Farmer: *offers a knife and fork* And you'll be needing these!

Mabel: *glares at the farmer*

Farmer: No? Suit yourself.

Mabel: *hugs the pig and whispers* Everything is different now!!!

You: *laugh and pet the pig* What are you gonna name him?

Mabel: How about....? Waddles!!!!

You: Why?

Mabel: *holds him out* Cuz he Waddles!!!! *waddles him* Waaaaaaaadlesssss!!!!

You and Mabel: *laugh*

After than we went to find Dipper who was holding an empty bag of ice and a face of pure shock. He then explained how he tried to win some purple panda duck hybrid plush thing for Wendy and ended up hitting her eye. Then Robbie came with a syrup cone and asked her out and she agreed.

Every since then he has been bummed out throughout the whole day. I just got tired at his sad aura and went on a few more rides.

All of a sudden I felt... different... I looked up, the sun was im the center of the sky. Wait what?!? Wasn't it already sunset? "It's twelve o'clock, the dunk tank is now open!!!" I heard Stan yell. Huh?!? Wait, did time just... reverse?!? Dammit, I should've known this would happen with that guy around! Ugh, I'll just ignore it for now.

But it's impossible to ignore it when it has happened many times!!!!!!! I've been stuck in a time loop!!!! CRAP!!! This isn't good!!! I can't be stuck in a time loop for too long!!! I have to find this guy and stop it!!!

As I looked around I saw Mabel screaming and running so I followed her. She ran over to Dipper, and when she saw me coming she turned to me and continued to scream.

Mabel: AHHHHHH!!!!!

You: M, what-!

Mabel: AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Dipper: Mabel-!

Mabel: AHHHHHHH!!!!!!

You: We'll wait 'till you're done.

Mabel: I'm done.

You: What happened?!?

Mabel: Earlier Dipper messed up his shot to win Wendy a plush toy and I met my true love Waddles the Pig then we met this time travel guy and we stole his time machine so Dipper could fix his mistake with Wendy and now we messed up the timeline!!! Pacifica saw the flyer and won Waddles before I did!!! She took Waddles, guys!!!

You: Wait wait wait, YOU GUYS HAVE BEEN THE ONES SCREWING WITH TIME?!?!?!?!?!?

Dipper: Well I wouldn't say we were - wait, how do you know?!?

You: !!! I- Uh- I- Well- Um- THATS NOT IMPORTANT!!! You guys don't know what you're messing with!!!!!! You guys have to return to the original timeline, NOW!!!

Dipper: What?!? No!!! I worked too hard to finally win that stupid game and I'm not going back!!!!!

Mabel: (y/n)'s right, Dipper!!!!!

Dipper: You're just saying that because you want your pig back!!!!!

You: *snatch the time measure* Give me that!!!!!

Dipper: Hey!!!!!!

You and Dipper: *start to fight over the time measure*

Mabel: *gets in the way causing the time measure to land on a cart and come back sending you all to a different time*

You, Dipper, and Mabel: *appear in the middle of a dirt road*

You: Uh no...!!!

Dipper: When are we?!?

Mabel: The real question is: when are we~?!?

Dipper and Mabel: ... *talk about how he said that first*

You: Guys, do you hear that...?

You, Dipper, and Mabel: *turn around to see a stampede coming your way* AHHHHHHH!!!!

Dipper and Mabel: *start to run away as you turn phoenix and fly above them, then they fall into a covered wagon*

You: *dive after them, then land and turn human* You guys ok?!?

Mabel: We're fine!!! But where are we?!? The seventies?!?

Dipper: You sent us back a hundred and thirty years, genius!!! It's pioneer times!!!

Man Riding The Wagon: By Trembley!!! Fertilia, it seems you've given birth to three more children!

Fertilia: *surrounded by children of all ages* It appears I have. More little hands to render the tallow.

Mabel: *laughs* Tallow?!? What?!?

Boy: Her mouth is filled with silver, mother!

Mabel: These are called bracers!

Dipper: Mabel we can't mess with the past!!!

Mabel: Oh, says the guy who messed with the past all day and caused me my pig?!? *takes out a calculator from Dipper's backpack* I'll mess with whatever I want!!! Check it out, a magic button machine!!! *gives the calculator to the boy* Shoes that blink!!! *stomps making her shows blink as Fertilia and the kids stare in awe*

You: Mabel, stop it!!!

Mabel: Who's side are you on?!?!?

You: *snatches the time measure from Mabel* The side to make things right!!!

Dipper: *snatches it from you* Gimme that!!!

You and Mabel: *tackle Dipper accidentally sending you all to another time*

You, Dipper, and Mabel: *teleport in front of a T-Rex* AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

T-Rex: *is about to eat you all*

You, Dipper, and Mabel: AHHHHH!!!!
*Mabel sends you all to a different time making you all let out a sigh of relief, but get startled at a sudden laser* AH!!! *see you're all in a futuristic apocalypse world*

Mabel: This future seems neat!!!

Dipper: *snatches the time measure and sends you all to another time*

Dipper's POV

We go threw many more timelines, dropping some things along the way. The time measure began to grow hotter and we all got sent to a pitch black area.

Mabel: Where are we?!?

Dipper: It's nothing but inky blackness for miles. Girls, don't you see?!? We've transported to the end of time!!!

Mabel: AH!!!

Dipper: AHHH!!!

Mabel: AH!!!

Dipper: AHHH!!!

You: No we haven't, you idiots!!! *opens a door revealing they're inside a portlier potty as she steps out with annoying*

Dipper and Mabel: *step out*

Mabel: Look, we're back in the present!!!

Dipper: But which present?

You, Dipper, and Mabel: *see Wendy hugging the panda duck thing and Pacifica dragging Waddles*

Dipper: Yes!!!

Mabel: No!!! *reaches for the time measure before staring to chase Dipper around the portlier party*

Dipper: *climbs to the top of the portlier potty as Mabel still runs around* Look, Mabel, it's over, ok?!? Give it up!!! I've worked too hard to loose this!!!

Mabel: But what about Waddles?!? He was my soulmate!!!

Dipper: You said that about a ball of yarn once!!!

You: Dipper, you have no idea what you're messing with with!!! You have to go back!!!

Dipper: No, do you really want Wendy to date Robbie?!?

Mabel: *tears forming in her eyes* I don't know... *takes out some pictures of her and Waddles and starts goes over to the totem pole before hitting her forehead against it repeatedly*

Dipper: You're not guilt tripping me, Mabel. Not this time.

Mabel: ...

Dipper: *jumps down and walks over to her* C'mon, Mabel, I know you! You're gonna forget about this in a day. *looks at the time measure* Here, hey, I'll prove it!

You: Wait-!!!

Dipper: *uses the time measure to skip a day* See?

Mabel: *continues to hit her forehead against the totem repeatedly* ...

Dipper: Ok... maybe you'll forget in a week! *uses the time measure to skip a week*

Mabel: *continues to hit her forehead against the totem repeatedly* ...

Dipper: A month, she'll be better in a month.

You: Dipper-!!!

Dipper: *uses the time measure to skip a month*

Mabel: *continues to hit her forehead against the totem repeatedly* Waddles... Waddles...

Soos: *walks over with a group of tourists* And if you look to your left you'll see Miserable Mabel, the girl who went bonkers after her dreams were shattered by some heartless jerk. Oh hey Dipper and (y/n).

Dipper: ...

You: Pine, I know this is hard for you, but you have to go back to the first timeline. Not only for Mabel, it's dangerous for all of us.

I had never seen (y/n) so serious before, she meant what she said, and I knew she was right deep down. She obviously knows about this stuff since she's somehow able to see each timeline even without the time measure. I let out a sigh and went back to before I threw the ball.

Wendy: I dunno if it's a duck or a panda, but I want one!

Dipper: ... *sigh* Wendy, I just wanted to say that... well, I just wanted to say that people make mistakes, and when they do you should forgive them. And also that tight pants are overrated.

Wendy: Dude, you lost me.

Dipper: I know... *offers a ticket* One ball please.

Man: *takes the ticket* You only get one chance. *gives Dipper a ball*

Dipper: ...

Wendy: *gives Dipper two thumbs up*

Dipper: And a one and a two and a... *throws the ball which hits a table and then Wendy's eye*

Wendy: OW, MY EYE!!! *covers her eye with her hands*

Robbie: *walks over* Hey Wendy, are you ok? You know this is the perfect time for me to uh... ask you something. *walks away with Wendy*

Dipper: It is done.

Mabel: *runs over and tackles Dipper in a hug* DIPPER!!! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!!

Waddles: *licks Dipper's cheek*

Mabel: *lifts him up and hugs him tightly*

Waddles: *oinks*

Mabel: He said 'Thank You' in pig!!! Aren't you, Waddles?!?

Waddles: *rolls unto his back adorably*

Pacifica: *passes by as a chicken pecks her* Ow. Ow. Ow.

You: *walk over* Wow, that is priceless!!! *laugh*

Dipper and Mabel: *stare at you wide eyed*

You: What?

Mabel: You look exhausted, are you ok?!?

You: Oh, that... Well, you already know that I can go through timelines without that time measure. And whenever that happens I loose energy. You two got me stuck in a time loop on the same day, plus I time travelled thousands of years back as well, so thanks to you I lost a lot of energy.

Mabel: Oh...

Dipper: We're really sorry...

You: It's fine, just need some rest.

???: *snatches the time measure* YOU TWO!!!

Dipper and Mabel: AH!!!

Mabel: *holds Waddles who shrieks a bit frightened*

You: *gasp quietly*

Blendin: Do you have any idea how many rules you just broke?!?!? I-I'm asking, I-I wasn't there with you!!! It was probably a lot, right?!?!? *notices you and gasp* Of course!!!!!!

You: Oh boy.

Blendin: I should've known you were somehow involved in this!!!!

You: *groans* I swear I had nothing to do with this, I actually tried to stop them!!!

Blendin: You expect me to believe that, you-?!?

Two Futuristic Guards Appear: *appear next to Blendin*

You: *look away covering your face with your arm* ...

Guard 1: Blendin Blandin?

Blendin: Ah, the time paradox avoidance enforcement quadrant!!!

Guard 2: That's right, and our phones have been ringing off the hook. They're settlers high-fiving in the eighteen hundreds. And calculators littered through eight centuries.

Guard 1: You are under arrest for violations of the time traveler's code of conduct.

Blendin: *as the two guards grab his arms* I-it was those kids!!! And they're leader, Waddles!!!

Guard 1: That's a pig, Blendin.

Guards: *drag Blendin away*

You: *let out a sigh of relief*

Dipper: *glares at you crossing his arms*

You: What?

Dipper: Seems like you have history with those guards.

You: I uh... *laughs awkwardly* It's a bit complicated... Oh wow, look at the time, I-I have to go and get some rest... *walk away rubbing your arm in embarrassment and shame*

Dipper: ...

Mabel: What was that about?

Dipper: I don't know...

That reminded me of something. Ever since we met, (y/n) has never really mentioned anything about her past. I mean before she was homeless. She obviously had come from somewhere. And she did say she never met then before, but I sometimes feel like there's so much more she's hiding...

And I can't help but wonder what it is...

Thanks for reading!!! 'Till next time!!!

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