Malawashina gazed up at the ceiling, her eyes weary but unable to close.

Some time had passed in a haze, a fog of numbness and grief. She could barely remember anything except the tears she had so relentlessly shed. They had left trails of now dried rivulets on her aching cheeks, and her eyes were now stinging and sore. She had lost count of the number of times her maids had wiped her face clean and given her water.

She had not experienced the typical pangs of hunger, but Utati, Seshen, and the others had persuaded her to consume at least some nourishment. However, Malawashina found the act of eating tiresome. She did not want to lift her body from her bed. Sitting up seemed like a tremendous struggle.

Her heart still ached, and the pain that wrapped its tendrils around her had diminished little.

The priestess of Sekhmet, the chief physician of the harem, had confirmed that Malawashina would be able to conceive again. The news should have lifted the princess' spirits, but it did not. Her heart could not allow itself to believe in it, to believe in the possibility of a new pregnancy.

At that moment, Malawashina felt like she was meandering through the Duat. Her heart raced, pounding against her chest like it was trying to break free from its confines. The weight of guilt settled heavily upon her shoulders, causing her muscles to tense and ache with every step she took within her mind. Each breath was labored, as if the air itself had turned thick and suffocating. Reality merged seamlessly with the illusion, blurring the boundaries between what was and what could have been. She saw flashes of a nursery adorned with tender care, filled with the laughter of a child that would never be. The image flickered and morphed into a desolate room, barren and hauntingly silent, a stark reminder of her perceived failure.

Blinking hard, her gaze wandered to the space beside her, where the cushion she had gifted him remained untouched. The smooth fabric seemed to taunt her, a reminder of the emptiness that engulfed her soul. She yearned for his touch, the way his fingers effortlessly traced the contours of her skin, bringing a sense of security and solace.

As the weight of her longing settled in her chest, a deep ache spread through her body. Her shoulders slumped, burdened by the absence of his warm embrace.

Her mind replayed memories of their nights intertwined, the way his arms enveloped her, creating a shield against the worries and burdens of their world. In those moments, time seemed to stand still, and all that mattered was the love they shared. But now, the weight of her guilt and the fear of inconveniencing the Pharaoh held her captive.

A mixture of sadness and frustration welled up within her as she questioned her own worthiness for his affection. Doubts whispered in her mind, whispering that perhaps she was not deserving of his love now that she had lost his child, that her worries were trivial compared to the weight of his duties. Yet, deep down, she knew her emotions were valid, that the need for his presence was a yearning born out of love and vulnerability.

But she remained silent, her voice locked away in her throat, unwilling to admit her needs. Tears pooled at the corners of her eyes, blurring her vision. She sighed again, the heaviness of her emotions threatening to drag her further into the depths of her despair. A light breeze ruffled her hair and the sheer drapes surrounding her bed, caressing her skin as it whispered a song of solace. The sound of her door creaking open snapped Malawashina from her dazed reverie. She was grateful that she was not caught in such a pitiful state of distress, as her maidservants would only fret if they did.

A soft and timid voice greeted the princess from the doorway. "My lady? May I enter?"

It was her beloved childhood companion. Malawashina was thankful for Utati's company then, as Utati's presence turned her thoughts back to the simpler times in her life.

"Yes, Utati," Malawashina whispered.

"I have bought some refreshments for you." Utati placed a small plate of sliced fruits and a chalice of mulled wine onto the bedside table. "I implore you to eat something." Utati's expression was full of understanding, yet a desperateness was veiled behind her empathy.

"I am still lacking any desire to eat..."

"I am aware," Utati sighed as she sat beside her friend, placing a gentle hand upon the princess' forearm. "But you must take some nourishment. At least some water and wine. It breaks my heart to see you withering away like this. I cannot comprehend the sorrow you must experience, but I can empathise with it, at least to some extent. The physician, the Lady of Sekhmet, said you will be able to have more children. But if you continue down this path and starve yourself, your body will become weak and malnourished and I cannot see one being able to carry a child well in such a state. We need to plump you right up so that you are nice and healthy. Please do this for yourself and for your future children."

Malawashina remained silent as she contemplated Utati's words. Her friend was right. It was imperative for her to eat to maintain her own health and to gain the strength to carry another child. Her brows knitted in determination as she resolved to work towards recovery, no matter how painful.

She slowly sat up in bed, reaching to grasp the cup of wine and taking a few tentative sips.

Utati smiled gently. "That is a start. Just nibble lest you make yourself sick. But remember, the more plumpness you have, the more flesh the Pharaoh will have to fondle."

Malawashina nearly spat out the wine in her mouth in shock, her eyes shooting wide. "U...Utati!" She spluttered, embarrassed as the heat rose in her cheeks.

Utati only giggled in reply, the mischievousness glinting in her eyes. "Well, you must get pregnant somehow. Hattusa needs a baby with Egypt, and you are the only one who can accomplish that, obviously. Once your womb is full again and the child brought forth, the marriage that united our nations will be unbreakable, and our ties to each other shall be inseparable."

"Yes, I am aware of that, but..."

"You are not just a vessel for making babies, Mala." Utati continued more seriously. "The Pharaoh adores you. You understand that, do you not? Laying with him is not just for procreation. He reveres you far more than that. With him, it is an act of love and devotion to you both."

Malawashina gave a small nod. "You are right," she agreed, sighing as her gaze trailed off.

"You still doubt that you shall conceive again, don't you?"

"I just have this sense that my body has failed. How can I be certain it won't let me down once more?"

"Oh Mala..."

"How could I bear another child, knowing that I might cause the loss of yet another?"

Utati's expression softened, and she squeezed Malawashina's hand reassuringly. "You cannot blame yourself for what happened. It was beyond your control. The gods have their own mysterious designs, and we, as mortals, must navigate the currents of fate. Do not let this tragedy define your future. Allow yourself to heal, both in body and spirit."

"What if I cannot?" Malawashina asked quietly.

"Then we will face the future together. As we have done so since childhood. Have faith in the gods, Mala. Our Ladies Šauška and Isis will bless you. I have prayed to them daily for your health and to bring you a child. Just this morning, I saw a royal falcon land on the balcony before flying away after a few moments. Are you aware of the symbolism of the falcon here? Horus, the protector of the Pharaoh and of all Egypt. The Pharaoh himself is the embodiment of Horus upon the Earth. It was a favourable sign. I am positive about it."

"You are truly devoted to the gods, my friend." Malawashina smiled.

"As you should be. They brought you here to Egypt, after all." Utati's voice was soft.

"I understand that." The princess answered, lowering her gaze for a moment. "I am forever grateful to them. And you know that I, too, am devoted to honouring them."

"Then

"Then trust them and know that you can have faith in your health and fertility. Our gods will look after us." Utati patted Malawashina's hand. "Besides," she began as a mischievous grin curled upon her lips.

Malawashina tilted her head in curiosity at Utati's abrupt change in demeanour.

"It would not be so terrible a thing if the Pharaoh is unable to leave your bed for a few days," Utati giggled, raising an eyebrow playfully.

"U... Utati! Do not make me think such indecent things at such an early hour!" Malawashina stuttered, the crimson blush returning to her cheeks.

Utati only laughed harder. "And why not? Will it arouse you? Then you shall have an easier time with conceiving again, won't you? The Pharaoh has an unmatched libido and a large manhood to go with it, from what you have hinted to me."

The princess turned away to hide her face, embarrassed, but she knew the crimson hue was still prominent. "Are you sure you're not the one incited, Utati, speaking such things?" Malawashina turned back to look at her friend with her own cheeky laugh.

Utati let out a huff of amusement before continuing her banter. "I had my needs slated throughout the night, thank you very much."

Malawashina rolled her eyes before turning back to the chalice and sipped at the rest of its contents. "Will you not share the details?"

Utati turned her nose up at her friend with a cheeky smirk.

"And yet you are always the first to whine at me when I do not share details with you." Malawashina shook her head with a laugh as she placed the cup back on the table. "Fine then, keep your secrets."

"Well, if you want to hear it so bad..." Utati teased before leaning over to the princess and lowering her voice to a whisper. "He took me on all fours. He used a sash to tie my hands to the bedpost. The things that prince is capable of! Oh Mala, he filled me with such immense heat and pleasure!"

The princess sensed a tingle travel through her body as her imagination wandered, her friend's words beginning to revive her own desires. She was aware of the consequences this action would have on her, and her cheeks became flushed at the mere idea. The desire for her husband's touch washed over her like a flood, drowning out her previous depression and grief. She yearned to be in the safety and comfort of his powerful arms once again, to feel the warmth of his skin and his heartbeat against hers as they made love.

Utati leaned back and crossed her arms, a smirk still gracing her lips.

"And then when he was spent and finished, he released my bindings and showered me with such affections... Mala, it was... exquisite!" Utati sighed happily. "And when he took me a second time, it was much more sensual and languid. His kisses and caresses made my heart ache, but it was such a pleasant pain. We even pleasured each other simultaneously!"

Malawashina's own heart thumped wildly as the memories of her and her husband sharing similar intimacy came rushing back to her mind. It seemed so long since they last had such moments, since her grief and subsequent seclusion had caused her to turn him away.

"I miss him, Utati."

"Then ask for him summoned, my dear." Utati gently replied, her gaze warm.

Malawashina sighed and rested her head against the cushions as her heart sank once more. "I... I cannot," she lamented.

"And why ever not?" Utati raised a brow.

"I would only burden him with my woes," Malawashina confessed, a stray tear rolling down her cheek.

"I highly doubt that he will think that." Utati placed a hand on Malawashina's arm once more. "Ramses adores you. He will gladly offer you the comfort you desire."

Malawashina gave a nod in understanding as she pondered upon her friend's words. "You are right."

"And there is no shame in admitting to your husband that you still require his company in your chambers," Utati added as she smiled at her friend. "He would be happy to spend more time with you."

Malawashina managed a small smile as she took in the meaning behind Utati's words. The princess sighed softly, a warm flush spreading across her cheeks at the prospect of once again being taken by her husband.

Utati watched her friend drift off into another daydream. "Shall I see if I can summon him here now?" she offered, hoping Malawashina would say yes.

"It is still so early... He may be with the Queen or with one of the other wives." Malawashina pointed out as she gazed towards her window and the sky outside.

Utati rolled her eyes, knowing her friend was still too nervous to ask. "You know he can visit any of the wives he desires whenever he wants. But you know what I've noticed, Mala? Apart from the Queen, he has a soft spot for you. If I recall, you two were so enamored with each other when you first met. I can clearly see that allure remains."

"But..."

Utati sighed in exasperation. "He has been nothing but supportive of you, especially during your grief."

The princess fell silent for a moment before replying quietly, "Yes... you are right. He has been nothing but compassionate and affectionate towards me. It is only since the miscarriage that I started keeping myself isolated from him... and the other wives, to be honest."

"And you must not," Utati continued to persuade, her expression warm but firm. "Do you really want to deprive yourself of his presence in your bed?"

"Well... No," the princess blushed and averted her gaze, fiddling with a stray lock of her hair. "But I am still scared. I am scared I will disappoint and dishonour him again if I cannot hold another child."

"Mala..." Utati began gently. "That is the darkness inside of you, putting such thoughts and worries into your mind. Allow the Pharaoh to come and reassure you. And please remember that the gods spoke of your ability to carry children once again."

The princess fell silent as she pondered those words.

"Will you have me request the Pharaoh's presence, then?" Utati offered.

Malawashina sighed once more. She was not yet certain if she had the courage to ask such a thing, but the longing in her heart would not abate. "You have my permission."

Utati smiled brightly, grateful that the princess would finally seek the comfort of her husband. "Very well. I will make it so. Then, while he is occupied with you, I will do my chores with Seshen." She began giggling to herself before continuing. "Then perhaps I can convince my prince to give me a morning repeat of our previous night."

"I swear Utati, I fear for the Egyptians when the Prince eventually becomes Pharaoh and you are his wife."

Utati laughed in reply, the joyful sound reverberating through the room.

The princess gave her a smile in return. "Go on," Malawashina gently gestured to the door with her hand.

"I shall." Utati kissed her friend on the forehead and made her way out of the room to carry out her errand.