Chapter 29: He's Dead
"What are you gonna do for work," Matt asked Cath abruptly, "when this run's over?"
"My friend Alex owns a coffee shop downtown. It's no Starbucks, but it's pretty good. I take shifts there when I can. He also asks me to perform there from time to time. He pays well too."
"Shoulda known it had something to do with coffee."
Catherine rolled her eyes and laughed. "A free cup of coffee is a free cup of coffee. Besides, I owe Alex."
"Yeah?"
"Four years ago, after my mother died, I was alone and my world was crashing down around me. My mother and I had been renting a house and I couldn't afford to pay the rent for another month. I was at the coffee shop, Alex and I got to talking, and I told him everything. Long story short, he got me my apartment. He paid for it and gave me a job at the coffee shop until I could pay for the apartment myself. He wouldn't even let me pay him back. I offered to take a pay cut and then he threatened to fire me if I pressed the matter. He's been such a help to me," Catherine smiled. "He was the one to encourage me to audition for Christine. He said that it's what Lotte would have wanted. I really want you to meet him."
"Sounds nice."
After a moment, Catherine asked abruptly, "I didn't show you how big my burn scar is, did I?"
"I got a pretty good look," Matt said with a frown. Why was she bringing that up again?
"Carlos has a weird fascination with it. He practically begs me to see it," she laughed. "Personally, I think he's just trying to get me to be more comfortable with it."
"Well," Matt said softly, "If you can stare at me all day-"
"Stop right there. I think you're handsome. And I will keep telling you that until you believe it."
"So you do," Matt shrugged. "It won't undo the damage, Cath. I keep it there as a reminder, a warning not to overstep my boundaries."
"And I wouldn't want you any other way," she smiled. "Matt, do you...think about your accident a lot?"
"No," he said softly. "Just what came after."
"I'm sorry. Do you miss her?"
"Those flowers are pretty, aren't they?" Matt asked cheerily, pointing over to a nearby flower stand.
"Gorgeous," Cath smiled, deciding not to talk about Mel any longer. It was evident Matt didn't wish to and she wasn't going to push him.
Matt gave a small frown. "I never asked if you liked roses."
"Roses are my favorite," Catherine laughed. "I suppose it's a Phantom of the Opera thing."
"Suppose so," Matt smiled. "I'm glad."
"Can I ask you a question?"
"Of course."
"Do you love me? I mean, truly love me?"
Matt bit his lip and thought that over. "I believe I could. I believe I will," he said with a smile. "You're the one, Cath. But love comes slow and the path isn't always easy."
Before she could respond, Catherine's phone began to buzz and she answered it. "This better be important."
Carlos was speaking so fast that Catherine could barely understand him.
"Woah, Carlos," she laughed. "Slow down. What's going on?"
"Catherine, I'm sorry. It's your father. He's dead."
Catherine's heart skipped a beat and she turned pale. "W-what?"
"He had a heart attack last night. I just got the call. My parents are making plans to fly back out to America tonight to make arrangements," Carlos sighed. "Cathy, what are you feeling?"
"Dead?" She whispered. "I...I don't even know. Can I call you back later?"
"Of course. Stay strong, my little warrior," Carlos said kindly. "I love you."
"I love you too," she sighed before she hung up.
"What's wrong?" Matt asked, frowning severely.
Catherine shut her eyes, trying to formulate words. "My father died," she said finally. "He had a heart attack last night."
"Your dad?" Matt repeated in a dazed state. "Cath, I don't know what to say."
"It's alright," she sighed. "I don't even know what to think...We should keep going. We don't want to lose time. You have work you need to get to."
"Cath, forget work," Matt stammered. "Come here." He stopped in his tracks and wrapped his arms around her.
"Our last words were exchanged in anger," she mumbled, shaking her head. Catherine buried her face in her hands. She truly didn't know what to think or how to feel. She felt like she should be crying, but she wasn't. She couldn't. He was her father. He was dead and she couldn't even cry. He had hurt her so much and wanted to hate him. Was it so wrong to hate her dead father? Maybe it was. Still, she wanted to. Deep down, though, Cath knew she didn't.
Matt held her tightly. "It's going to be alright."
"I wish I could believe that," Catherine sighed. "I can't believe this...Matt, do you think you could do me a favor?"
"Anything," he said earnestly.
"Do you think you could stay a couple nights at my apartment? I don't really want to be alone right now."
"Yeah," he nodded, "we'll figure it out."
"Alright," Cath sighed. "Carlos said that he's just going to head out after the show. He'll just catch a cab or an Uber, so we won't have to worry about him. My uncle and aunt are flying out to America this afternoon to make arrangements. I'm not sure where the funeral will be held."
"Let's get you the theater, alright?" Matt said in a tone of anxiety.
"Matt," she said, putting a hand on his shoulder, "I'm alright. Really. Remember, I wasn't exactly close to my father."
"I know," Matt sighed. "I mean, it could be worse. At least it was at home not some kids' showing of Charlotte's Web, ya know? Traumatize a generation...Sorry, that's weird. Not helping. I'm just kinda freaking out. Do you want a smoothie or something?"
"No, thanks," Catherine laughed.
"Coffee? Pizza?" Matt stammered. "Anything?"
"Matt, all I need is you," Cath smiled. "Please, don't worry about me. As long as I have you, I'll be okay."
"That was corny," Matt laughed softly, putting his arm around her.
"Laugh all you want, but it's true," Catherine laughed, grabbing hold of his hand. "I love you. Have I said that today?"
Matt nodded. "I love you too."
"Good," Cath sighed. Her phone rang again and she picked it up. "Hey, Alex."
"Cathy, Carlos told me the news. I'm so sorry. What do you need?" He asked softly. "I could bring over some coffee tonight."
"That sounds wonderful."
"Have you told your boyfriend Matt?"
"I'm with him now."
"Alright. Have fun smooching. Bye, Cathy. Call me if you think of anything else. Anything. I mean it. I'll see you at the show later."
"Thanks, Alex," she sighed. "I'll see you later. Bye."
"Cathy?"
"Yeah, Alex?"
"I'm here for you."
"I know. That helps more than you could possibly imagine," she said with a sad smile he would never see.
"Good. I'm glad," Alex sighed. "Have fun with Matt."
"Bye."
"Alex knows?" Matt asked after Cath hung up.
" Yeah. Alex and I have been friends for awhile, so I tell him pretty much everything," she said with a slight laugh. "Don't worry. I didn't go into detail about you. I just said that your name was Matt and that you're a great guy."
"I don't mind," Matt sighed. "I just- I know what it's like to lose people."
"I know you do," Catherine sighed.
"I'm sorry," he moaned softly. "I know people grieve in different ways...just- I worry that how I dealt with- I don't want anyone getting hurt." He glanced at her painfully, tightening his grip around her hand.
"Getting hurt how?" She questioned.
"Just hurt, okay?" Matt mumbled.
"Okay," she muttered, only half paying attention. She was trying to remember good things about her father, but all she could think about was the pain he caused.
Catherine leaned into Matthew's side and wrapped her arms around his waist as they walked. She looked away from him and let a single tear fall down her cheek.
He helped her into the theater, selflessly putting aside the risk of discovery from his mind. "Which way's your dressing room again?"
"Down that hallway," Catherine replied, pointing.
Matt briskly escorted her down the hall, glancing anxiously behind him. He wasn't used to being in the open like this...ever.
"You alright?" Cath asked, closing the door.
"Fine, I just-" Matt rubbed the back of his neck anxiously. "I don't do well in this kind of situation."
"What? Being alone in my dressing room? What are you afraid is gonna happen? My lips on yours?" Catherine teased. "Come on," she smiled as she pressed the spring in her mirror, sliding back the glass. She pulled Matt through and slid the glass closed. They returned to the latter's place in silence.
Matthew immediately shut himself up in his music room, leaving Catherine alone.
After a while, she got bored of waiting around and entered the room. "How's my favorite Angel of Music?" She asked with a smile.
Matt gave a heavy sigh, and with closed eyes and arms extended, handed her a sheet of paper covered in scribbled notes and chords. "Here."
"This is amazing," she laughed in astonishment.
"Just something small," he murmured awkwardly, "for the service?"
"My father's?" Catherine questioned.
"I don't know," Matt said nervously. "It's yours though, if you want it."
"Matt, it's really sweet, but I don't know if I'm going to the service. It's in America. I can't afford that trip," Catherine laughed nervously. "I love the song though. Of course I want it."
Matt frowned severely. "You can stay with my sister. I'll pay for it."
"I can't ask you to do that. Besides, I think it's better this way," she sighed. "He didn't even go to my mother's funeral."
"I almost didn't go to Melody's," Matt said in an undertone. "Cath, if you don't go, you'll spend your whole life wishing for closure you can't get."
"Matt," she said, grabbing his hand, "my father remarried. He had kids. They'll be there. I can't go."
Matt looked up in surprise. "You didn't tell me that."
"I didn't want to bring it up," Cath sighed, sitting down on the piano bench beside him. "He just...hurt me so much. I mean, what kind of a sick, twisted person leaves their family just to start another with someone else?"
"Cath, you can't do this," Matt said firmly. "You can't hold him moving on as an offense. That's good. He was happy. His family was happy. He had a second chance at life, something not all of us are able to have." He grasped her hand gently and kissed her forehead, tears welling in his eyes. "Sometimes I think if Melody...I have to remind myself that she'd want me to move forward, to be happy again."
"You're situation is different, Matt. My father had a family, and when we needed him most, he left us. He left a week after Lotte died. A week. It nearly killed my mother. I was fourteen and had to take care of her, had to convince her that there was a reason to get up in the morning, to keep living. I've had to deal with all this crap on my own. And through it all, I had to deal with bullies at school, telling me that I was worthless and ugly and stupid," Catherine said as a tear fell down her cheek. "To make matters worse, I believed them. Every single word that they said...I don't hate my father. I just...am not particularly fond of him. I had to deal with so much, and he did nothing to help."
Matt looked down in silence, pulling her closer. "Was he a good dad...to them?"
"Yeah," Cath sniffed, resting her head on his shoulder. "But hey, at least he learned from his mistakes, ya know?"
Matt gave a solemn little nod. "Just- and ignore me for the idiot I am if I'm wrong here...but they're probably looking to hold onto any piece of him that's left. And Cath," he squeezed her hand gave a small smile, "like it or not, you are your father's daughter."
"I guess you're right," she sighed. "I just don't want to do anything stupid."
"Like what?"
"Like be rude to somebody or say something that I shouldn't, because I know I will. I can't help it. I just- I can't stand there and listen to some guy say what a great person my father was, when he failed me...I think that if he at least tried to apologize, I wouldn't be so hung up on this, but he never did. Not even once."
"I think he did," Matt said thoughtfully after a moment. "In his own way. Coming here, giving you that ring-"
"Maybe," Catherine pondered. "I still don't know if I'll go. I'll wait until the arrangements are made to decide."
"Whatever you decide, I'll support you." Matt smiled.
"Thanks," Catherine replied, kissing his cheek. "I love you."
Matt kissed her forehead. "Let's find I.T. Guy, shall we?"
"Alright."
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