HANNAH

She purses her lips and takes a deep breath. Her eyes avert from my gaze and look down at her feet. She straightens up her back and runs her hands over her face. Then she rests her elbows on her thighs and holds her chin on her hands. She runs her tongue over her lips and stares into space, as if she were lost in thought. I watch her every move, waiting for her to do or say something, but all I get in response is silence.

"I get it," I say, and threaten to get up from my seat and walk away from her, but she takes my hand and forces me to sit down again. Our gazes meet, mine expresses hatred and weariness and hers pleads.

"Don't go," she says as she turns to face me. She takes both my hands and takes a deep breath. It looks like she's finally going to say what I've been waiting so long to hear. "Of course I'm in love with you. Otherwise I would never have kissed you, otherwise I wouldn't be here tonight, otherwise I wouldn't spend every day of my life thinking about you, otherwise I wouldn't try to get closer to you." I know I shouldn't, but those words were just what I needed to stop feeling that sharp pain in my chest and make the tears stop flowing from my eyes. However, something tells me I shouldn't get my hopes up, and what she says next proves me right. "I know I behaved in the worst possible way, and I know that what I did to you is beyond wrong, but I did it out of fear..." she lowers her head and her voice trails off in sobs. "Hannah, I'm terrified. I'm afraid of what can happen... you know it's not easy for two girls like us to show ourselves to the world, let alone if..." she suddenly falls silent. "Hannah, my life is very complicated and I—

I get up from the bench and walk away from her, not saying a word. I'm sick of her always repeating the same thing to me. I can't take it anymore, I can't! I'm not willing to hear that fucking phrase come out of her fucking mouth one more time!

"Hannah!" She shouts from far away, but I don't give a shit because I'm not going back there. "Hannah!" she insists again. "Hannah please!" She shouts again and steps in front of me to stop me from walking any further.

I look at her and see nothing but anguish in her eyes. She's absolutely hurt, as am I. It's inevitable to see the pain in our eyes. It's inevitable to realize that we are destroying each other, but why can't we stop? Why, despite being the cause of our suffering, can't we separate? Why do we want something that hurts us so badly?

"That's enough! I'm sick of hearing that your life is complicated! I get it! Mine is too, and very much so, but that doesn't stop me from loving you and it doesn't stop me from wanting to be with you," I confess, not knowing where I got the courage to express my feelings.

Her face softens and a feeling of guilt and humiliation becomes noticeable in her.

"You're right, you're absolutely right, Hannah," she replies, shaking her head and pursing her lips. "I'm so stupid... You were always sweet and good to me. You were the only person who treated me right these days and the only one I want to be with, but I keep screwing everything up. If I had told you all things from the beginning everything would be different now..." she looks at the sky, pensive. She closes her eyes trying to hold back the tears and then opens them again. "But believe me, when I called you today I was ready to tell you everything. I was ready for us to get together and talk." She breathes in, managing to stay calm. "And that's what I'm going to do now. Come on, let's go back to the bench—It's time for you to know what's going on."