CASY

I finish applying the ointment on my vulva. Luckily, it seems that it's looking way better than it was just a few days ago. Still, I have a slight pain whenever I sit down, but I've been through worse, so this is nothing compared to... well I don't want to go there since you know what I'm talking about.

I walk out of the bathroom and into my bedroom, closing the door behind me. I lay on the bed and close my eyes. I've been so tired lately that I could easily take a five-hour nap right now... but I won't because I know as soon as I close my eyes I'll think about Hannah and how much I miss her.

I've been missing her like crazy since the day I decided to do that stupid thing to protect her, though I still think it was worth it. I already knew from that very moment that giving up the girl I love would mean being unhappy for a long-ass time, but now that I'm actually living that nightmare... I can say that it's worse than I imagined.

My phone rings from the bedside table. I take it and let out a weary sigh as I read the screen that informs me I have a new message from Leo: Can we meet and talk? I have news; it's about your parents.

I get up in excitement and almost drop my cellphone as I read this amazing news. My hands are shaking and my mind is trying to catch up as I read the text for the tenth time.

OH MY GOD! I can't believe it! I think this is the first time I'm actually excited to see Leo. Who knew, right?

I answer him right away: Okay, let's meet up in an hour at Bohemia Café. Sounds good? He answers me with a simple: Great, see you there. And I head to my closet to find something to wear. As I grab plain black jeans and a loose fuchsia blouse I can't help but grin broadly. I can't believe this is happening. I can't fucking believe it. I've been dreaming for this day to happen since tragedy struck me. And now, all of the sudden, all the pain he caused me, all the bruises, the wounds, the crying, the mistreatment... seem... kind of worthwhile.

***

I walk into the Café and spot Leo at a table in the background near a window. He already has a cup in his hands and a croissant on the table. He's using his phone so doesn't acknowledge my presence. I go over the counter and order a latte. I grab my coffee and go sit with him.

He looks away from his phone and up to me, showing me his fucking sly smile. Instantly, a slight shudder runs through my body and I try not to let fear grips me. His eyes meet mine and images of our last encounter spring to my mind. I shut my eyes and press my lips.

I am strong. I can do this. Please don't think about that, Casy. I repeat the same sentences in my head till the knot in my stomach starts to loosen and the panic to fade away.

"Hey," he greets me, contemplating my body and I bet he's dying to see me naked, but not today, not now. That's not gonna happen.

"Hi," I reply, taking the seat in front of him.

"You're hot as fuck today," he 'compliments' me, running his tongue over his lips as if I were a juicy hunk of meat that he wants to devour. And I bet I am just that for him.

I look away from his eyes and shift uncomfortably in my seat. I'm already regretting coming here. What if this was just a lie? What if he just wanted me to come here and then oblige me to go to his fucking house and fuck me and smack me hard? What if this is just a game for him and he lied to me from the beginning when he agreed to help me in exchange of wild-horrible-painful sex? Those questions send shivers down my spine and I try not to think so negatively. Maybe he's telling the truth... right?

"Can we talk about my parents, please?" I attempt to sound nicely yet fail, since annoyance is clear in my voice.

"Sure. I'll show you what my dad found out," he says, as he takes out a laptop from his black backpack and rests it on the table. He logs onto it and for a few long minutes he's quiet, focused on looking for the information he supposedly wants to show me.

"So, here it is," he turns his computer around so I'm able to see the screen and informs me: "This is what my dad has sent me this morning,"

I survey the screen in front of me. An email conversation is opened—a conversation between Leo and his dad. I take a deep breath and start reading the last email they exchanged this morning:

Hi Leo, I have some news on The Evan's case.

Turns out, the girl was right—it wasn't an accident. I talked to one of my colleagues, Eddie, who is currently in Edinburgh and told me this case was quite a scandal five years ago when it happened. He knew about the accident and things didn't add up to him, but decided to let it go since his boss closed the case without further investigation. However, now that I brought this back to him, he's been investigating extensively these past few weeks and was able to get access to the victims' car. He talked to the mechanic that saw the car after the incident and he said to Eddie that when he examined the car, found a defect in the brake pump alongside a loss of brake fluid. He said this surprised him at the moment, but, again, decided not to keep investigating since the case was already closed.

Eddie said that this is very strange and that now he wants to know exactly what happened and be 100% committed to this case, so next week he's going to talk to the boss and see if there's a possibility of reopening the case. Now, he didn't promise me anything, but he'll try. If the boss decides to reinvestigate the case, Casy will need to come back to Edinburgh since I'm sure the police will want to ask her a few questions. But if that's the case, I will tell you immediately.

And that's all I have so far. I'll leave you my friend's number here in case she wants to contact him.

Take care son, see you soon.

I finish reading the email and look up to Leo's eyes. My brows are drawn together in a frown and my lips are parted. I'm baffled at the news. I've always pictured this moment in my head, but I didn't exactly prepare myself to receive the news.

"What... seriously? Wow..." I always believed what happened wasn't just an accident, but now that Leo's dad confirms it... it hits differently. How come I didn't know this? How come the police closed the case knowing this? I'm shocked, completely shocked.

He nods and says: "You told me you always thought this wasn't an accident and I think that too, but the car tells us nothing. The brakes could've failed because of your parents fault, maybe." He says while taking a bite from his croissant.

"Leo, my dad loved that car more than me and my brother. It's impossible that he didn't check the brakes before doing that long road trip they were supposed to do. My dad was very cautious." I tell Leo, which is the absolute truth. My dad was a car-lover and I think I get that from him. That explains my love for Formula 1. That and the hot guys who drive the cars.

"Okay, if you say so..." he says, while turning his laptop away from my gaze and shutting it down. "So, what's next? Did you read the part that you may need to go to Edinburgh?" He asks, while taking a sip of coffee.

"I did, but I don't know what to think," Seriously, I don't have a clue what to think about that. "I mean, I can't go. What would I tell my aunt? She wouldn't let me; she always tells me that I have to forget about what happened and focus on my present. She doesn't want me to go back there, let alone to investigate my family's death. And I can't be absent much time at school. I would miss exams, classes... It's not that simple," I tell him and regret immediately since I don't know why I'm opening up to Leo in the first place. He's the last person I would trust, yet I trusted him with the most sensitive matter of my life. I honestly make no fucking sense.

He nods and gives me a sympathetic smile and for a moment I see a glimpse of another Leo. Of a Leo that existed in the past, but that has slipped away from me, his friends and his family. Of a Leo I used to love with all my heart, but whom I now despise. That Leo was my everything a year ago, and I thought I lost him. I thought I was never gonna be able to see him anymore, yet I just did and a part of me is happy to see him, although now my heart belongs to a different person... and a different sex.

"I could come with you," he suggests and I almost panic at the idea. No way I'm travelling more than ten hours with Leo on a plane and then share a hotel room. No fucking way.

"No," I answer flatly. Is he crazy? I would never let a fucking rapist come with me to this trip. Although it would be helpful, since is his dad who's helping me in the first place... but no! No fucking way. I want to stay as far as possible from him.

"Mmmm, why not? Are you afraid of me?" He asks and his index finger caresses the palm of my right hand.

I shudder and get my hand out of his touch. The bruises, the unbearable pain, my throbbing clit and the image of the whip hitting my soft skin... remind me not to trust him. They remind me that this is part of the game he's playing—he always tries to seduce me and make me fall for him so he can take me in his bed and treat me as he pleases. But that's not gonna work; not today, not anymore. I'm done with that. I got what I wanted and now this thing ends up here.

"No, I just think I need to do this alone," I answer, which is partially true.

"We could have a good time Casy," he says, smiling slyly and I have to look away because that smile makes me wanna puke.

"Leo, thanks for helping me. I really appreciate it, but I have to go," I say, not answering what he just said because I want this conversation to end. I stand up and grab my coffee, which I haven't even drunk.

"Sure. You don't have to thank me; that was part of our deal. So, I guess I'll see you Friday night," he says matter-of-factly.

Wait. What? Friday night? I thought we were done with all that. I kept my end of the deal and he kept his, so that's it. I won't be his submissive anymore and he won't be my master. Right? That's it, right? Because that was the deal... right?

"Em, I thought we... we were done with that?" My voice lowering as the words leave my mouth. I try to sound confident, but fail since I know fear is taking over me.

He laughs and I look everywhere but him. What's happening? Why is he fucking laughing? I don't understand shit.

"You think we're done? Oh, we are not! You said you would let me be your master and treat how I please, until you found out what exactly happened with your parents. So, let me ask you the following question: did you find out what exactly happened with your parents?" He gives me a wry smile.

I look down, ashamed. Ashamed of myself for letting him treat me like that and for behaving so foolishly that I made a fucking deal with the pig I have in front of me. I ingeniously hoped he would forget about the details of the deal, though he didn't and now I really wish I hadn't agreed to be his submissive, but I was in need and desperate and when you're desperate you're forced to do things you totally regret and want to forget.

"No" I reply in a whisper, pursing my lips and not meeting his eyes.

"Then we're not done baby. So I hope you wear hot underwear and bring me some toys this Friday. I'll plan something special for you babe," he whispers in my ear and then leaves the Café.