HANNAH

I turn on the TV and play a workout video on Youtube. I've been excersicing for two weeks now, after skipping my workouts for three days. 

Now I'm right back on track and ready to do some cardio, planks, abs and squats. Gosh, it feels so good to work out. It relaxes me and distracts me from my disturbing thoughts—it's like medicine. 

I start with a high intensity cardio video that lasts twenty minutes. It's very hard to keep up with the pace, but I do my best. 

When I finish, I'm exhausted—no matter how many times I do this kind of exercise I can't get used to it. It kills me every fucking time.

I do some planks and abs and then decide to end my workout routine. I exercised for an hour and a half and when I finally finish I'm soaked in my own sweat—I hate sweating. 

I grab a towel to mop the sweat from my neck and forehead. I need a shower, but first I'll grab some water.

I open the tiny fridge in my hotel room and take a water bottle, knowing this bottle will cost more than the room itself. See, that's one of the negative things about living in a hotel—the expensive-ass prices. I still have a bit of money but that's going to last at least two more weeks, but then? What will I do? I try not to think about that too much, otherwise I'll be stressed, anxious, and I did the fucking workout specially to not be like that. 

I grab my phone to see if... well, if Casy texted me yet there aren't any messages from her. Just a few from my mom, which I won't reply to. I don't have the energy to talk to her. I will when she decides to tell me the truth, otherwise she won't be hearing from me for the next few weeks. 

Automatically my thumb presses the chat box with Casy. God. I miss her and I don't even know why. She complicated my life, she made me go insane, she kept things from me and she... well she gave me hope. And she also treated me well, but that was before things got... difficult. 

There are still a lot of things I want to know. My questions don't cease, they just increase. I need to talk to her. I need to see her... but I know that's a terrible idea. She said it herself: From now on you will never come near me, so stay as far away from me as you can.

Clearly, she doesn't want to talk to me ever again and I have to respect that. However, everyday staying away from her is more difficult and I don't even know why. I mean, I just met her, I can't be like this. I can't be thinking about a stupid girl like this and... is a girl. I mean, I like men, not girls. I think I'm just confused, that's it. I just wanted so badly for her to be my best friend that I got carried away and now I feel... this in my chest, which won't fucking go away. Anyway, it's better not to think about that anymore. She's my dark hole, not my salvation. Bear that in mind Hannah.

I go to the bathroom, connect my bluetooth speaker to my phone and play one of my favorite songs—Complicated, from Avril Lavigne. I just love that song and I feel great every time I listen to it. Besides, the title sums up my actual situation perfectly. 

I start the shower and take my sweaty sports clothes off. I toss them to the floor and get in the shower. The hot water instantly relaxes me and I close my eyes to let the zen mood take over my whole body. I really need this. I need to shut down my mind and just relax. However, this incredible feeling just lasts a few minutes because my phone starts to ring non-stop. 

My God. Who the fuck is interrupting my shower?

I disconnect the speaker and step out of the shower to grab my fucking phone. 

"What the fuck do you want?" I harshly say. I didn't even see who the fuck this is, but whoever is, it better has a reason to call me and disturb my shower. 

"Hannah..." the voice softly replies, which is odd, and I immediately know who this is. Fuck. "Sorry to bother you, but one of your friends, I think, is here." the voice says, thoughtfully. 

A friend? She said it herself—I don't have any friends, so... who's that? 

"Does my so-called friend have a name?" 

"Yeah, her name is Casy. Do you know her?" My mom asks and I immediately drop my phone to the floor. 

Oh no no no no. Fuck. What is she doing there? Oh my god. This is bad. I need to get there immediately. My mom can't see her! Well, a bit late for that, but still—I need to go there now. 

I shut the water off and go to my room to change. Oh this is bad. 

What if she says something that she's not supposed to to my mother? Like... the time I went to her house, or... something about Leo? Or worse... What if she tells her about the time when she stayed over at my house? Oh no. I... I can't let that happen. My mother will kill me and lock me in a cage if she finds out about all of that. 

I change into blue jeans and a white T-shirt. I put my black sneakers on and I'm ready to go. 

I grab my phone, which I left on the bathroom floor, and open the door and when I'm in the lobby fear takes over my body. What if Casy has already told my mom all of that? And most importantly, what is she doing there? What does she want from me? I thought she didn't want to see me, but now? What happened? I don't understand shit, but I need to face this situation and see what the fuck does she want to tell me and end this thing once and for all.