I'm finally in front of Casy's house. It wasn't as hard to find as I thought it would be, but it wasn't an easy task either.

I ring the doorbell of the house and stand a few inches away, waiting for someone to open it up for me, while I pull a mirror out of my backpack and check my makeup and hair. After having showered and changed so many times, at least I expect to look good.

The door opens and Casy appears from behind. An instant smile spreads across my face, which wipes away any sad and painful feeling I might have felt moments ago. And I already feel lighter—no worries, no guilty or painful feelings harassing me.

"Hi Hannah, I'm so glad you came!" She says excited and smiling as she gestures with her hand for me to enter the house. Her tone is nothing like the one she used when we spoke earlier. She doesn't seem angry anymore.

"Yes! I was looking forward to seeing you and your house!" I say just as excited.

"And I'm looking forward to you seeing it," she says as she shows me where to put my things. "Look, this is the living room, where we basically spend most of our time. This is the bathroom, the kitchen, over there at the end of the corridor is my aunt's room; and upstairs there's a bathroom and my room. It's not very big, but it's cozy," she finishes with a shy smile.

I look around at every part of the house Casy mentions and I dwell on the details, taking in everything. I stop at the dark orange curtains—something that catches my eye—that cover the living room windows; at the beige walls; at the lamp in the center of the room that radiates warm light. I eye the gray sofa covered with cushions of the same color as the curtains; the chocolate brown coffee table and the dining table with matching chairs. It's an eye-catching mix of colors I've never seen before, but it gives the room a quirky style and even makes it more interesting. I could even say that this room is like Casy's personality—interesting and special.

"Hannah, come over here," Casy says to me from the staircase, "I was calling you, what were you looking at?" she asks me, giggling.

I feel how my cheeks are getting hotter and I can already imagine that they are fire red. Shame on me. I'm going to look like a crazy girl who stares at the smallest fucking detail. Why do I have to be like that?

"Nothing, nothing, I was just looking at... the curtains," is the first thing I say.

She laughs and tells me to go with her upstairs to her bedroom. Still embarrassed, I nod and follow her upstairs without further ado, trying not to make a fool of myself.

We enter her room and I have to make a superhuman effort not to stare like a stupid girl at the walls full of stickers, colors and posters of the typical boy bands that all teenage girls go crazy for, except me of course—the exception to the rule.

I take my eyes off the overloaded walls and focus on the desk and the bed, which is messy and has clothes covering it up. I thought she was well-organized, but maybe she isn't...

"And this is my room... do you like it?" she asks shyly.

"Yes, it's very nice," I reply in kind.

She throws some clothes on the floor and sits on the edge of the bed. At first I hesitate, but I do the same and sit next to her. I drop my backpack on the floor and look at her. Suddenly the air between us is not so happy and joyful anymore but more awkward. Why do I always have this nervous feeling in my chest and stomach when I'm with her? Why am I always nervous when Casy is around me? I'm not supposed to feel this way. Yes, we've only known each other for two days and I don't know if we're friends, but we have had several conversations so I shouldn't be this nervous, but it seems like it's impossible. At least I know I'm not the only one who feels this way—I know it happens to her too, I can see it in her eyes and face, but what I don't know is why.

"Do you want to play a game? Or maybe we could watch a movie," Casy suggests, shifting from side to side, uncomfortable, just like me.

"Watching a movie sounds good," I reply, my eyes fixed on my feet.

I look up. She looks at me and smiles. She stands up to grab her computer sitting on top of her desk and sits back down, resting the computer on her lap. She turns it on, logs in and enters her Netflix account.

As she picks out some movie to watch, I set out to think about how strange these past few days have been. How I went from being super excited to start classes to being nervous, uncomfortable and living in uncertainty, not knowing what's going on around me. And yes, I can't forget about this no matter how much I tried to. It is impossible for me to pretend that nothing happened. It is impossible for me to forget about something that constantly drills in my head. I find it impossible to forget everything that happened in two fucking days. Above all, I can't forget about the party, a subject that I have to talk to Casy about. This seems to be a good time to do so, although I am aware that talking about it would mean the possibility of setting off an atomic bomb—I know how Casy gets when we discuss any of these topics, but curiosity killed the cat, right?

"Casy... today Leo told me something about a party this Friday, that you were supposed to tell me..." I say shyly, afraid of how she might react.

When she hears my words she stops what she was doing. Her expression turns serious and also looks surprised. Her cheeks lose their natural pink color and turn snow white. She's still and takes a few seconds to look away from the computer screen to fix her gaze on me. Now that I can see her face from the front, I notice that her mouth is slightly open and she's frowning. Her eyes convey a sense of concern and surprise. What's going on? Why did she react like that?

"Em..." she begins to say.

"What's wrong?" I ask. I'm sure something is going on and it's not good. I'm not stupid.

"Nothing, I just didn't know Leo had told you about it... that's all," she says trying to recover her normal expression.

I don't believe her at all. I know there's more. She couldn't have reacted like that just because she simply "didn't know Leo told me about the party". Besides, she and Leo talk to each other. I don't know if it's on the best of terms, but they talk to each other. It's impossible that the subject of the party didn't come up at any time. They even slept together for fuck's sake! Surely she told him.

What the fuck is going on? Why does everything have to be a mystery? Why? Why is everything so complicated?

"Casy you acted as if you'd seen a ghost. I don't fucking believe you were surprised just because Leo told me. What's the matter?" I ask in a rather stern tone.

She looks down and starts touching her hair and pulling it out one by one. Her typical nervous tic. Then she looks at me and our gazes meet. Hers shows concern and sadness, mine pure anger and uncertainty.

"What the fuck is going on?" I ask again.

My patience is wearing thin.

"Nothing, really. It's just that I was surprised. The party was canceled and well... it looks like it's going to happen anyway," she says, struggling to find the right words, "and... well... what made me upset was that... Leo didn't invite me to the party. I mean, the first time he had said he was going to throw a party, he did tell me, but not now. He told you first and... well, I think it bothered me a little... sorry," she says, without looking me in the eyes.

That's it? Really? Was she jealous that her dear Leo told me first? I don't believe Leo didn't tell her about the party, and I don't believe she was upset about it either, even though she sounds sincere.

Her reaction could never in a million years have been just because of that shit. There's more to it, I'm sure. I know I can't push her because if I do she's surely not going to tell me anything and we'll end up arguing and everything will go to hell. So, for the moment, I prefer to pretend that I believe her and that I'm a moron who buys any stupid thing she's told. Anyway, there's something that doesn't add up and I'm not going to let it go:

"If you didn't know anything about this party, supposedly, why did Leo tell me that you were supposed to tell me something related to it?" I ask her with a defiant tone.

She squirms in her seat, uncomfortable.

She touches her hair with both hands and I'm afraid she'll be bald from the force with which she pulls each fine strand of hair from her head. There's no doubt—nerves eat her up inside.

Worried, I reach over and instinctively take her hands out of her hair and place them in her lap. I place my hand on hers and caress them.

"Casy, what's wrong?" I ask in a much softer tone than before. I can't see her like this. As angry as I still am at her for keeping so many damn things from me, I don't want to see her on edge and worried because of me.

"Nothing, I'm just a little stressed about something that happened today, but that's all. And about Leo... he never told me I had to tell you about the party, so I honestly don't know why he told you that. I'm sure he lied, Leo's like that" she finishes saying, calmer than before.

I nod as I listen to everything she says. I still don't know if I believe her. If life has taught me anything, it's not to trust anyone and that's something I'm very good at, but she sounds very convincing and makes it hard for me not to believe her.

I'm not going to trust her, that's for sure, but I'm going to play along. I gain nothing by pressuring her to tell me something I know she's not going to do, so I'd better shut up. I'm sure that until I go to that damn party I won't be able to know what the fuck she's hiding from me.

"Yeah, sure," is all I say.

She resumes her earlier activity and continues searching through Netflix's extensive catalog for a movie to watch. After a couple of minutes, we decide to watch The Notebook, one of my favorite movies. A love story so sweet and so tragic that makes me smile yet cry.

We lie on the bed with pillows under our heads, me on Casy's left and her on my right. Casy places her computer in front of us. She hits play and we get ready to watch the movie.

Minutes later, Casy breaks the silence:

"So... are you going to the party?"

"Yes, I am," I answer uncomfortably. The air is still tense between us.

"Okay... then maybe... we can go together, so we arrive at the same time," she offers me with a weak smile.

"I'd like that," I say, beaming and moving closer to her side. The air between us slowly becomes lighter.

Our gazes meet and I can tell that we are very close to each other. The tension that was once present dissipated in the air as if by magic and is now replaced by... comfort, perhaps? I don't know how to describe it, but it feels... right, I guess. It's a strange and unfamiliar feeling to me, but it comes over me internally and I know it happens to her too. I know she feels this same thing I feel inside my chest and I know she doesn't know how to describe it any more than I do. I know that this is unknown to both of us, and that... I don't think either of us wants to know what it means.

I look away and that strange feeling disappears. I focus back on the movie and try not to overthink this.

As I try to follow the plot of the movie, Casy rests her head on my stomach and with her right hand caresses my left arm, which gives me goosebumps. Why the fuck does my skin react like this every time she touches me?

Minuteslater I'm already uncomfortable being in this position and I want her to getoff me. But this discomfort barely, because soon sleep takes over me. I closemy eyes and forget about everything but the girl sleeping on top of me.