FOR A WHILE I HAD THOUGHT MY life was quite similar to a storm. It's on and off spells of rain, thunder, and lightning. I had my bad days and my good days. Now I realize, not only it is much like a storm, it's a hurricane. A full fledged category 5 hurricane. I had been in the eye, but now not so much. Ever since Seulgi died, my life was slowly yet surely falling apart. Much like the snowballing effect, everything was crumbling.

Her and I hadn't even known each other that extensively to have such an impact, yet with her murder, I felt myself crumbling further and further.

"Woah." Doyeon mumbles. "That's a lot, Mai."

"Yeah. It is, I guess." Within the past twelve hours I had realized that the guy I liked was joining the Gorgons, anything that could have developed between us had been destroyed because of me. And then right after, I found out my sister was also a part of the said gang. A huge part of her life which she kept secret from me.

Again, I find myself so hypocritically angry, when I had also kept something pretty big as a secret from her deliberately. Yet I am still angry.

And now, I realize that my own mother was still in Thistlethorn. All this time. Not only did Lisa hiding her from me infuriate me, my own mother did nothing about trying to reach out to me. It felt like she had also wanted to abandon me.

"Everything I thought I knew suddenly shifted, Dodo." I say. "I have no clue what I'm supposed to be thinking of all of this. I thought Lisa had been the reason why my mom left, and honestly now I have no clue what really happened. Had I been mad at her for no reason this whole time? What if Lisa hadn't been keeping our mom away from me? What if my mom just didn't want to see me?"

This feeling of being lost, confused, it was so alien to me. I had never understood what being confused and unsure about everything was like, up until now. I didn't even know the people who had been in the vast majority of my life. I didn't know Lisa at all, and Bambam too! I thought she had been the reason behind all my struggles, never had I once questioned it.

"I know you guys aren't in the best place, but you should talk to her." Doyeon says softly. "I think it would be good for you, to hear the entire story. Right now you only have part of it."

"I don't know if I'm ready to hear it, to be honest."

"I think you are. This is only going to get worse if you don't do something about it."

She's right. And I hate that she's right, because I really don't want to see Lisa.