???: H-Help me!

A voice cried out in vain before being silenced by a sickening crunch. The sound of cracking bones and ripping joints echoed in your ears as your ODM gear pulled your tired body further forward. So many lives were lost. These trees served as tombstones more than pieces of nature while the brutal side of nature ate away at the screaming husks of fellow soldiers. Boots meeting the branches beneath you, you could only follow the orders of the superiors you passed. Total retreat. Whatever mission was supposed to happen was a failure. And you were not enough of an ignorant fool to believe it didn't have something to do with that female titan. You wanted to demonstrate anger, sadness, anything except this blank feeling of simply trying to survive. 

???: Oi, (L/n)! Call for your horse, we need to fall back before we are left behind.

Blinking in response, you could only lift your fingers to let out a crisp whistle, echoing other signals coming from the soldiers around you. Of course, your horse Emporio should have been confused by the mixed signals but he honed in on your tone and met you at the edge of the forest to roll out with the remnants of various squads and groups ripped to shreds by the titans that had poured toward the center.

Soldier #1: This isn't... this isn't happening... why...

Soldier #2: H-He's probably just fallen back already... 

Soldier #3: Shut up already! 

The broken whispers and shouts of the soldiers around you filled your heard with nonsensical noise, dampening your already spent mood as your eyes sharpened toward the back of the superior your small group followed. How much did he know... Did he know of this massacre would happen? Your emotions were seemingly boiling over in a pot much too large. It wasn't exactly suppressing your emotions but the disgust, anger, and sorrow building in your chest couldn't find the fuel in your body to be represented. Every muscle in your body ached to some degree, a familiar burning sensation ripping through your chest is a reminder of the last operation you took part in. For now... you simply needed to stare forward and let Emporio whisk you away to the relative safety of the remaining soldiers before your erratic emotions managed to shine through.

Brown eyes scanned the horizon, groups of Scouts shambling in from the direction of the giant trees. The Scouting Legion had suffered major casualties as could be seen by the bodies being accounted for. 

Conny: Worried?

Sasha pulled her eyes away from the distance for a brief moment to regard the shorter male before returning to her own spying.

Sasha: No. I know he will make it. I... I guess I'm just hoping to see more coming. but now...

The girl noted the lack of horses for a moment, the number of soldiers trickling in growing smaller and smaller. Of course, her hopes were immeasurably raised as a larger group of horses arrived. Six or seven at the very least riding in. And her heart could only leap as the tension in her shoulder was relieved by the sight of you hopping off your horse to try and stretch out your legs. When your (E/c) gaze finally lifted, it couldn't be helped...

Your arms opened in time for the girl to fall into your embrace, both of you devastatingly tired from the operation as Conny wrapped his arms around the two of your weakly.

(Y/n): I'm so glad you two are safe.

Conny: Hah... I'm happy you're alive too.

Sasha: When we were all assigned to different squads I got worried. Especially after the news of the right flanks reached us.

Conny opened his mouth to inquire about what happened but your fingers dug softly into his jacket, the same with Sasha's as she pulled you closer into an embrace. 

Conny: It...It makes me wonder how long I'll survive.

Sasha: You've pulled through until now, right?

Conny: Yeah... for now.

Sasha: Isn't that a good thing? I mean you're alive.

Conny: Can you say that facing the bodies of those who died?

Sasha remained quiet, unable to answer the question. Your hands lifted from their clinched positions to the heads of Sasha and Conny, trying to offer a bit of comfort. You wanted to pull back from the hug, allowing yourself to look at the two properly but Sasha's arms stiffened softly, communicating the need to continue the embrace for a moment longer.

(Y/n): We need to remember those who died... And never forget who caused their deaths.

Conny: It's already hard enough to forget the titans when you are staring one in the face...

You shook your head softly, lifting your gaze from the hug to scan for the leaders of the survey corp. Commander Erwin surveyed the bodies, a few others you recognized were not far off though you didn't have the will to remember their names.

(Y/n): This whole expedition was a complete failure. We didn't go nearly as far as we should have and even with the collapse of the right side... why would you move into the forest where supplies and the formation we trained on for months would be disrupted?

Conny: It's weird but...

Conny pulled away from the hug first, standing before you to stare in the direction your sharpened gaze was. Sasha pulled back as well, staying within arms reach. 

Conny: Before we go expending what little resources and energy we have let's make it back to the walls first.

Sasha: Yeah. We can rest up and avoid making any mistakes while we are still out there.

Sasha placed her hand upon your arm in a comforting manner as you let out a sigh. You didn't say anything but nodded at them softly before moving to see who else was still around. You easily spotted Mikasa looking at a seemingly injured Eren. Erwin was being accosted by a scout demanding something or other. Jean and Armin were... dealing with the dead. However, they just have been done as Armin's gaze landed upon you and he slipped down from the cart he stood in and approached you.

Armin: (L/n)! We got separated in the chaos so we got worried.

Jean walked forward now, dusting off his jacket with a distant look in his eyes, similar to yours you guessed if you looked into a mirror. 

(Y/n): It takes a lot more than that to kill me. You two would know.

Your reference to Trost seemed to weigh heavily on the two already exhausted with the current expedition. Of course, it wasn't your intent so you once more let your hands do the talking your brain couldn't figure out, your right hand landed on Jean's shoulder while your left had carefully rested on Armin's head to avoid his bandaged injury. 

???: Pack up! We're moving out!

Various voices called out alerting the remaining legion to begin saddling up once more for the final push to the walls. You were relieved to be done with this but the resentment building in your body seemed to be growing by the second as you let your mind fill with negative thoughts. But for now, you could only pull back your hands and wish luck to the two males before you. Emporio was still nearby and with a swift whistle, you were slinging your leg over his back into the saddle, ready to ride forward to the gilded safety of the walls.

Sasha: What are we gonna do when we get back to the walls?

Sasha's voice let out against the clop of horses and the creaking wheels of carriages. The whole legion was in full retreat as ordered by Commander Erwin. Emporio and you trailed near the tail of the pack, riding next to Sasha and Conny. You told them to ride on ahead but of course, they refused to leave your side now that the three of you were reunited. Huh... how many times would this happen? An operation starts, your friends are separated then have to replay the same relieved meeting at the end of the mission. 

Conny: I'm planning on taking a long nap when we get unpacked.

(Y/n): Some sleep does sound pretty good.

Sasha went to speak when the sound of pop filled the air. Someone shouted something but you couldn't tell what it was though a simple glance over your shoulder at the red flare fired let you know exactly what was going on.

Conny: Titans!

(Y/n): Ah... Look you two hold position.

Sasha: You're not thinking of falling back are you?!

(Y/n): The carts on the end of the formation are carrying the dead. If the titans get too close the carts will get attacked first. I'm not going to let the dead we managed to reclaim get left behind!

Conny: Then let us come with you! We can work together!

(Y/n): If you two can handle it then come on!

Pulling on the reigns, Emporio slowly started slowing down, horses flying past you as Conny and a reluctant Sasha followed suit. The closer the end of the column arrived the more you could see two titans on the horizon along with two scouts in the distance. One of the titans seemed hellbent on eating the scouts but as it swiped forward and grabbed a hold of one of the poor souls, the one next to it sprinted forward toward the cart carrying clothed bodies. It was getting closer and closer as the cart was too weighed down. It was the reason it was tailing at the end of the convoy anyway. It was then you managed to reach the end, unintentionally arriving next to Jean and Armin. It was only when this was pointed out that you did notice, your brain devising a way to deal with the encroaching titan.

Armin: (L/n)! What are you doing back here?!

(Y/n): The cart carrying the bodies is too weighed down to get away from the titan.

Jean: Yeah! But this terrain is horrible to fight on. Is that our only option?!

Armin: ODM gear can only work so well on flat ground. And... there are more titans incoming. 

Jean: then what should we do?

Armin: Well...

You followed the clear blue gaze of the boy and found him staring at the bodies in the cart. It seemed you reacted on instinct before you could even logically think about the outcome.

(Y/n): No way. We are not leaving anybody else behind!

Conny: (Y/n) the cart is too heavy! The terrain is terrible for fighting too so this puts us in a bad position. The dead are already gone. you said it yourself that we need to remember them. And if they can help the living well...

Armin: I don't like it either but we need to get the wounded and living back to the walls first!

You tried to wrap your head around the possible outcomes. The first would be tossing some bodies aside. Sure you would escape but... No... no no that wouldn't do. You could try to fight but your friends aren't wrong. The two scouts in the cart with the bodies readied their equipment but were cut off by a smooth deep voice. Your gaze moved from the titan to the presence of... Captain Levi.

Captain Levi: Don't even try. Before that, toss the bodies or they will catch us.

???: B-But...

Captain Levi: There were countless soldiers who failed to recover corpses in the past too. It's not like these guys were special.

Your mind seemed to draw a blank. The captain... so even he was ok with letting the corpses of fall secure retreat. It was logical and yet finally caused that pot of emotions in your chest to boil over in rage. They used these soldiers while they were alive and it killed them. Now they are going to use them even after death? 

Your body once more took command on sheer instinct. Turning ungracefully in the saddle of Emporio, you managed to balance enough to grab onto the grips of your ODM gear. You had just required the last pair of blades you had left when your eyes met with the captains. It was truthfully the first time you had gotten a look at his mature face but the gaze in his eye shook you to the core. He was obviously telling you to stand down but... With a single breath, you fired off the hooks of your gear. You were pulled violently from the saddle, just barely unhooking your boots in time as you whisked through the air to the agitated and surprised gasps of your peers. You lost sight of the captain but could feel his cold gaze on your back as you pulled toward the titan. It seemed focused on the column of scouts but instantly turned its head to you as your grappling hooks penetrated the flesh of its right shoulder. It unfurled an arm from its chest and it shot out toward you, fingers ready to crush you in its palm. However, you were not in any mood to die and managed to twist your body to the right, dodging the outstretched thumb of the titan toward its neck. This only seemed to annoy the titan as its jaw opened head snapping in your direction in an attempt to bite you in two. 

Memories of Trost floated into your mind as you also managed to use the last of your strength to pull yourself away from the teeth, recalling the hooks to your gear as you sailed through the air over the titan's shoulder. Finally, this was it. Doing enough aerial movements to put performers to shame, you once more turned in mid-air, clicking the triggers of your gear to fire into the back of the titan's neck. Pulled forward by grace and anger, your arms rolled back and once within reach of the creature's nape, swung forth with killing intent, carving out the nape of the titan as its movement shuddered, stopped, then began falling forward.  The hooks of your gear pried out of the neck of the titan and returned to their original spot at your side, a sense of relief and pride filling your chest. Now you simply needed to get back to Emporio. Scrambling onto the titan's head, you managed to let out a clear whistle that Emporio heeded, falling back behind the scouts closer to you. The titan finally buckled under its weight and hit the ground, causing your legs and hips to rattle. All momentum in your legs shifted and you made one last effort to jump toward the safety of Emporio and the Scouts...

And you landed it.

It was not graceful by no means, Emporio letting out an almost howl as your weight crashed down upon his back and he pushed through to try and pick up with the other horses. You took a moment to breathe now, feeling the adrenaline in your veins fuel your exhausted body. However, the brief sense of relief was dashed as Emporio passed over a rug. A... rug? Wait... hold on. Then another, then another. It was then you recognized the cloth. The... bodies? Why have they cast out the bodies?! You killed the titan! You gripped the reins tightly, your knuckles hot with rage through your skin as you pushed forward. You disregarded the concerned statements of your friends as your gaze was directed at the two scouts continually casting out bodies. 

(Y/n): What the hell are you two doing?! 

???: What I ordered them to.

Your fiery gaze turned to the owner of the voice to find Captain Levi was still riding opposite to you on the other side of the cart.

Captain Levi: I told them to throw out the bodies so we could avoid the titans. Just because you killed one titan, you don't think the other ones wouldn't catch up?

(Y/n): But we need to return the bodies! It's wrong to leave anyone behind! We need to protect everyone!

Captain: You need to wrap your head around the fact you can't protect everyone. Killing one titan isn't going to win this war and if you continue to act recklessly you won't be able to protect your friends dead. You have a lot to learn, (L/n).

The tone of the captain seethed into your blood, boiling it as your fingers clenched even harder in agitation. 

(Y/n): Well you and the commander would know a lot about not protecting those you care about, wouldn't you?!

The captain's gaze did not change, though he went silent. His frozen gaze trained on you as you could only huff and ride forward, avoiding the words of Conny and Sasha and the scolding tone of Armin. You were in your own head for now. Saying that to the captain was not only horrible from a ranking standpoint but in a decent moral one too. Though you were much too heated to think about being kind. You were simply focused on getting back to the walls before you were any more irrational from the stupid expedition and the ghosts trailing the scouts back to the walls and their "safety".