⏳ --

I felt betrayed. I didn't know where to begin: the fact that we had a traitor in our midst that Andi and Astra seemed to know something about or the revelation that Andi and Eilian were...more than I'd realised.

I stalked away from the group. I needed some space to think. But she followed me, clearly wanting to explain herself. And I was in no mood to deal with it.

"Steve, wait! Let me explain!"

I whipped around to face her. "Explain?" I scoffed. "What's there to explain? You kept your relationship with Eilian from me. What happened to never keeping secrets from each other?"

"What Eilian and I had has nothing to do with what we have!"

"I told you about how I felt about Peggy!" I roared. "That's personal, Andi!"

"And what I had with Eilian was as well!"

"But that's one of so many things you keep from me! You know everything about me! I've told you everything about me! The only other person I've ever been as open with as I've been with you was..." I swallowed before uttering his name. "...was Bucky."

My fists clenched. I was frustrated. I'd been patient with her for so long that I was struggling to contain the dangerous flames spluttering inside me. The relationship was a two-way street. It was a boat we were supposed to row together, and it felt like I was the only one rowing it. She always told me that I'd understand someday. How was I supposed to understand if she was never gonna tell me?

Andi's face contorted into one of rage, one I'd never seen before, one that actually made my angry resolve falter slightly for a second. "You know what? You want to know everything personal about me? Fine. I had feelings for a Scotsman in 1743. I had feelings for a man in Victorian London. I had feelings for Eilian.

"I've killed thousands for the sake of time. I've allowed thousands to die for the sake of the timeline. I watched Pompeii burn and people suffer by fire, their wails filling the night. I watched innocent children as young as five die in the factories during the Industrial Revolution, screaming for help as machines crushed their bodies. I watched civilizations crumble to dust, never to be recovered. I've seen so much horror that the likes of you would buckle.

"You want to know the most personal thing I have to carry with me every day, Steve? I'm a monster. I'm a murderer. I'm broken beyond repair. And I have to live with everything I've done. You can't fix me. As much as you think you can, I'm beyond help. And if you think that me keeping my feelings for Eilian that I no longer hold from you is a betrayal, then you're sorely mistaken."

I slowly blinked and clenched my jaw before speaking again. My next words hitched in my throat. They had to be said, but they didn't want to come out, and so I had to force them. "Then perhaps we shouldn't continue whatever this is we have."

The agony in her old eyes was painful. My heart ached so painfully that I was close to collapsing. As she closed her eyes, a tear traced down her cheek. "Perhaps we shouldn't."

And with that, she turned her back on me and walked away.

I had no words. I'd never seen Andi so angry, so upset at the same time. My...trust was shaken; it was still shaking. Perhaps a break was the best thing for us at the moment. My trust needed time to recover.

Air brushed my shoulder. I looked up at Astra sitting on her Parthenope, hand outstretched. "Come. We have waited long enough. We must leave."

I watched as Andi mounted another one of the creatures, Nat jumping on behind her. I just wanted to get this over with and go home.

I grasped Astra's hand and mounted the Parthenope behind her. And we took off.

★     ★     ★

⏳ --

As much as I enjoyed silence every once and a while, the one that engulfed the group was an uncomfortable one. And I knew why. It was because of Andi and I; the fight we had. It was no secret to either of us that the rest of the group overheard. We were screaming at each other. It seemed like a moment that none of them expected to ever happen, so of course they'd eavesdrop on the conversation. I just wished someone would say something. Anything.

"Do not hold it against her, Captain," Astra uttered.

"What?" I said, words finally reaching my ears after what felt like hours of silence taking me off guard.

"You do not know what she has been through."

I didn't want to talk about her at the moment. I didn't want to talk about anything in relation to her. But curiosity was shoving me towards Astra, hungry to know what the hell she meant. We were at the back of the group, meters away from everyone else. If we were going to have this conversation, it was going to be in private and it was gonna have to be now or never.

"I do wanna know what she's been through," I admitted. "I wanna know what she's been through so I can be there for her. But she won't open up to me, and I don't understand why."

Astra sighed, which made me somewhat suspicious. "Andromeda is...hard to understand. What is it you modernists say? A riddle wrapped in an enigma? She has always been difficult to understand. Ever since I met her I have always been curious to know what is behind those eyes."

"When did you meet her?"

"A long time ago. I became a Time Walker not long after her."

"Where are you from? I mean, when?"

"I was born in the La Bièvre district, Paris in 1767."

It was then that I noticed the slight hint of a French accent with some of her words. How I never noticed, I had no idea. Probably because she hadn't talked much since we'd met. But, like Andi, a British accent dominated most of her sentences, except for a sliver of the French seeping through.

"Gilliam recruited me in 1794," she continued.

I did the quick math in my head. "So, you're biologically twenty-seven?"

"Indeed. I am eternally biologically twenty-seven."

It seemed like I was the same . I was biologically thirty-one, but — thanks to the Super Soldier serum and my long sleep in the ice as a Capsicle — I was chronologically ninety-eight. In comparison, Astra was twenty-seven biologically, but becoming a Time Walker completely stopped the aging process (if I remembered Andi explaining it to me correctly), making her chronologically hundreds-of-years-old.

And so my curiosity pushed me forward to my next question. "How old is Andi biologically?"

"As I said before, Captain, Andromeda is a mysterious to many of us. I do not know the answer to that question. I don't know if even Eilian knew the answer."

Great, I thought, add that to the list of things I should know but don't. And then I asked the question that had been plaguing me for months, the question that I desperately wanted, needed, answering: "why doesn't she talk about her past? I know where she came from and when she was born. I know about her family as well. But that's it. Why don't I know more? Why don't you know more?"

"Why does a suffered orphan not talk about his parents? Why does grieving woman not talk about her heartbreak?" Astra turned her head slightly to look at me through the corner of her eye. "Why does a damaged soldier not talk about his scars?"

I knew the answer. Andi didn't talk about her past because it hurt. The agony in her eyes when she was yelling at me...it explained more to me than words ever could. She kept so much that she'd been through hidden because the trauma was too much to deal with on the surface. The scars were too deep, were still too raw. And the fact that I'd lost trust in her because of something so trivial like not mentioning a past relationship was the catalyst that reopened those infected wounds, causing all this.

"Andromeda is more recluse than she comes off as," Astra said. She sent me another look. "But I have never seen her look as comfortable and safe as I have seen her with you. The only other person I have seen her look like that is–"

"With Eilian," I interrupted, still bitter at the sound of his name. "I know. I've heard that a lot." I sighed in exasperation. "What is so special about the guy? I've heard so much about him, yet so little at the same time. Everyone makes him sound like a god, like he's perfect and flawless. I don't get it."

"Eilian was no god," she cleared up in a serious tone. "And he was far from perfect. He was arrogant and insufferable and controlling and secretive and neurotic. But at the same time, he was kind-hearted and thoughtful and benevolent. He was a lot like Andromeda: an unsolvable riddle. He was an important member of the Walkers. With his death, many believed that our very existence was on the brink of ending."

"What was his role?"

"Other than a collector of the Time Key Shards alongside Andromeda." I noticed her frown slightly. "I do not know. It seems that only the Lord knows his role."

My eyes caught Andi with Nat riding off further away with the others. "What was their relationship? Andi and him, I mean?"

Astra huffed as if it was hard to describe. I had a bad feeling about what I was going to hear, and so I prepared myself.

"I believe complicated is an accurate enough word," she began. "Eilian was Andromeda's mentor. It was a relationship that was essentially frowned upon. But many expected it all the same. They had spent so much time together finding the Shards that it seemed inevitable. Eilian had taught Andromeda everything she knows today. I've found that many of his traits have rubbed off on her: recklessness and determination specifically, and absolute malevolence when pushed to anger." She sighed and shook her head. "Eilian's death had a big impact on Andromeda. We found out about his murder from Primavera. We all assumed that Andromeda would return for the Wake, but she did not. It was like she completely disappeared. None of us had heard from her until I found her recently."

She slowed the Parthenope from a walk to a halt. She turned to half face me. The look in her purple eyes was serious. I knew then that her next words held purpose, and I needed to listen carefully. "I have known Andromeda a long time, Captain. Although I do not know every detail about her, I know her gestures, her looks, and I believe you do as well. The way she acts around you...she does indeed care. She believes that what she has with you is real. What she had with Eilian ended badly. It was a relationship that was somewhat artificial. What you have with her is real, and she wants it to last."

She turned back to sit on the mount normally. "Do not sacrifice the only relationship she's had that is meaningful over an argument about a hidden artificial relationship. Both of you will regret it." She urged the mount forward. "We must catch up. We cannot be too far from the Hot Springs. We are halfway to our final destination."

❈Author's Note: Hey, there! Well...an emotional chapter, yes? Let me know what you think below, guys! I'm intrigued to know what y'all think!

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