Maya

Friday morning feels like it takes forever to arrive, but I wake up feeling well rested and excited. I really like this bed in Marcus' guest room, but it's time to venture out on my own, for real. I feel good being at his house - and I like the way he looks at me, and how he got me off in the shower - but really, I didn't come back to Boothbay to rely on someone else. For anything. I need to be on my own.

   Marcus has to leave at 7:30am, but I'm up by seven because I set my phone alarm and I can't sleep any longer. I go down stairs, still in my pajamas - a gray t-shirt and joggers - hoping he's still home.

   He's in the kitchen, pouring a coffee into a travel mug and looks over when he hears me come into the room. His eyes find mine right away.

   "Good morning." His smile looks a bit tired, but damn he looks good in his dress shirt and pants.

   "Morning," I say, stepping into the room.

   The night before, we watched a movie together after he got home from work and I fell asleep on the couch before midnight. When I woke up it was 2A.M. and he was gone to bed, but there was a blanket covering most of my body. I'd quietly gone upstairs to the guest room for the rest of the night, but couldn't sleep much after that.

   "Wasn't sure if you'd be up this early," he tells me, then adds, "I was going to leave the key here."

   "Oh, yeah. Thanks. I guess I'm excited."

   He smiles again and drops the key with a yellow tag onto the kitchen table.   "Is Nella going with you to the apartment today?"

   "Yeah and George is meeting us there with his work truck. I found a used futon and some other furniture online, so he's going to pick them up for me," I explain.

   "Oh, that's good." Marcus pours some cream into his coffee and then turns back to me.

   "Yeah."

   "Um, well, let me know if I can help at all." He seems like he's a bit unsure about me suddenly, which throws me off. "I'm sorry I can't come with you this morning."

   "You've done more than enough for me this week," I tell him, smiling.

   "I told you, I like helping." Now he's grinning and walking towards me. He puts one hand on my waist and leans in closer, even though it's just us here. "And I liked the company this week."

   We haven't straight out talked about how we had sex, twice, over the past five days. He'd been a bit more flirty by the end of the week but there was no conversation about it, besides what we talked about briefly in the shower.

   "I like your company, too," I tell him, pulling at the bottom of my t-shirt.

   "Good. I have to get going. Text me later?"

   I nod even though I don't know why he wants me to text him. I won't be spending the nights at his house anymore and it might be a bit weird, but I will finally be in my new apartment.

   I shower and then call Nella a bit after 9A.M. I have nothing to bring over to the apartment besides my clothes and a few personal items, but by mid-day I'll have a few more things. I am just dying to get over there.

   "I have the key," I tell my sister on the phone, like it's some secret mission.

   "Just changing Willow and we will leave. Excited?"

   "Yes," I say plainly.

   "You sound unsure," she accuses me.

   "I'm not. It's just new. I got used to be here at Marcus' house, I guess."

   "You knew it was short term. Kay and I both warned you not to get attached. " She laughs, so I know she's just trying to get to me.

   "I know. But I think he's attached, too," I admit.

   "Of course he is. But it's not like you're not going to see each other. Just not every day. You guys can be friends," she goes on.

   "Right. I know." I swallow hard, because I still don't know how we will end up friends, after this.

   "Okay, see you in twenty!" she finishes and I hang up even more confused than before.

When we pulled up to the apartment building, my heart starts pounding. I haven't lived on my own, besides the first year that I was in Albany. I'd been living at Ryland's and then staying at Marcus', and this apartment is just for me. Finally.

   Nella follows behind me holding Willow as we go into the lobby and to the elevator. She comments about how nice the interior is and when we get to the apartment, it's this big, special moment as I unlock it and push the door open. Nella even takes a photo of me, opening the door. Inside, it smells so fresh and clean and big. Nella puts Willow down and she goes off running into the big, empty living room. I walk towards the kitchen and drop my bag, exhaling.

   "Wow. It's nice," Nella says honestly.

   "You like it?"

   "Yeah. I knew George and Marcus wouldn't let you move into a dump, though," she laughs. "You can afford it?"

   "Stop asking me if I can afford it," I tell her, rolling my eyes.

   "Okay. Sorry."

   We only hang out for a half an hour while I show her around, and then we head to the grocery store so I can get a few things.  After she brings me back to the apartment, she has to get home to put Willow down for her nap. I thank her again and then get out of her car, taking in a deep breath. This is it. I'm on my own.

   I put away my groceries and eat a banana, then go into my bedroom and put away my clothes into drawers. They had been hung up in the guess room closet at Marcus', but this is different. This is my place.

   I'm sitting on the balcony on the fold up chair that was left behind when my phone buzzes.

   George : hey. I'm leaving work and grabbing the futon and the love seat now. Be there in an hour?

   Awesome thanks, I send back.

   While I wait, I go back to my bedroom and dig into the bottom of my bag. I'd bought a package of water color paints and some sheets of good paper, at the Art Hub, so I could maybe, possibly start painting again. It had been years. It felt like I was a teenager a lifetime ago. My mom had always encouraged me to paint and to express myself as an artist. She loved art. When she got sick, I painted exactly one dark, angry painting and then I threw all my supplies away.

   Now, things feel a lot brighter in my world. I'd gotten out of that situation in Albany and I was back where I belonged. I was back to figure out who I really was. And I'd start by trying to paint again.

 

That weekend was busier at the art Hub for sure, but it made it even more fun. The hours past quickly and I felt like I was in my happy place, working there. Megan was a girl a bit older than me who had been working there for a year. She was in collage and mostly worked weekends. She told me about her boyfriend and her dog and she seemed like a pretty cool person.

   On Sunday, I work in the morning, and am off at 2P.M. I take a bus home and go inside, happy to see my little, gray love seat and my new (to me) TV and TV stand.  Marcus had insisted on giving them to me, from his basement. Apparently he never uses them (he already has two other TVs upstairs). George brings them over on Saturday night and Marcus comes by, to help me set it up.  We flirt after George leaves, and end up having sex on the futon, in my bedroom.

   It is around 4P.M. on Sunday when Nella calls. I hadn't seen her since Friday, which is crazy. I'd worked six hours the day before and then Marcus came over, then I worked six hours on Sunday. I am happy to see her name on my caller ID, that is for sure.

   "Hey!" I answer, while cutting up an apple.

  "Hey! Geez, it's been like forty eight hours since I've seen you," she says right away.

   "Yeah, you miss me already?" I ask, sitting on the love seat in the living room.

   "Duh. Actually, I was wondering if you could hang out with Willow tonight?" she asks.

   "Oh sure, just call me when you need as sitter?" I joke.

   "Maya you know that's not why-"

   "I'm kidding," I say quickly.

   "Oh. Good."

   "Of course I can. What time?" I ask, then take a bite of apple and chew while I wait for her to answer.

   "George got tickets to a movie tonight and we were going to do dinner first. Kayleigh watches Willow sometimes, but I figured you'd want to spent time with her?"

   "Yes. Of course," I tell her.

   "Okay. Can I come get you in like thirty minutes?" my sister asks.

   "Yeah. I'll just get changed and I'll be ready."

   "Thanks Maya."

Forty minutes later, we are back at her house and she's off upstairs, getting ready for her date night. I'm in the living room with Willow, sitting on the floor with some toys. She's pretending to feed me soup when George comes into the room.

   He's dressed up, which is rare for him. He's usually in his dirty work clothes or regular joggers and a t-shirt. I'm not sure I've ever seen him in jeans.

   "Willow, you be good for Aunt Maya?" he says to her right away.

   "Yes, I be good." She grins at her dad, then smiles at me.

   "Hey... Maya... can I talk to you for a second?"

   This throws me off but I stand up, walking towards George. We are just far enough away that if we whisper, Willow won't hear us. I don't know what he wants to say that he doesn't want his toddler to hear.

   "So, you and Marcus." It's not even a question.

   "What?" I ask.

   "You. Marcus." He has a straight face and he's just waiting for me to admit something.

   "I don't know... we're friends?"

   "Friends?" Now he's smiling a bit but I don't know what he's thinking. "Friends with some benefits?"

   "George, I-"

   "Maya, you're both grown, consenting adults. I'm not interested in details. I just... he's my best friend. I just watched him go through something so hard. He only just started acting like himself again."

   "I'm not trying to-" I try to say, but George interrupts me again.

   "He seems happy right now. I know it's because of you, partially. I just can't see him hurting again. He needs more time." This is a warning, I know it. This is him telling me to back off.

   "I get it. We're not... serious. Or anything." I can't believe I'm talking about this with him, my sister's husband.

   "Casual is fine, but I know Marcus. He's getting attached. And he sort of has stars in his eyes when he talks about you," George goes on, as if this isn't awkward at all.

   Oh god.

   "I'll talk to him," I finally say.

   "That's a good idea."

   "Hey! Let's go, George. Dinner is waiting!" Nella yells, coming into the living room.

   She's in a dress and heels, her hair down and she's wearing make-up. I got pretty used to Mom-Nella, I guess. But she looks amazing. George nods at her and then hugs Willow. Nella kisses her head and thanks me for babysitting.

   "You can put her to bed? We'll be back sometime after ten," she says to me, already practically out the door.

   "Yeah of course," I agree.

   And then they are gone.

Willow and I eat dinner and are back in the living room doing a toddler puzzle when the doorbell rings. I'm confused and not sure if I should answer, but I do anyway, after whoever it is rings again. Willow follows me towards the door.

   When I swing it open, all the blood leaves my face and I can't think or breathe or talk.

   My father is standing in front of me.