Maya

After spending the entirety of the following day being lazy and having lunch delivered to my hotel room, I was glad to know that Wednesday would be productive. I knew It was okay to do nothing sometimes, especially after the stuff I'd been through, but I was list-maker and a do-er. I'd always preferred to be working or exercising or getting stuff done, rather than waste a day away. 

   In the evening, I go for a walk around the roads near the hotel and then look online at job listings for awhile. I see that there's an opening at the pet store by the general store, and at the museum. I don't really care what kind of job I get, I just know I need one. I talk to Nella on the phone after she gets home from work, but it's a quick check in. She just confirms the time and plan for the next day.

   I lay awake again, anxious and maybe excited? I don't really let myself feel excited because that is just a good reason to get let down. But I can't sleep because I know it's going to be a big day, one way or another.

   I'm already waiting downstairs and outside when George's car pulls in the next morning. He's waving as I walk over and pull open the passenger door.

   "Morning," he says, as if he's been up for hours.

   It's 9A.M., but he does have a toddler, so who knows.

   "Good morning," I reply, slipping in beside him. I feel like I need to thank him again for doing all this, but I keep quiet instead.

   "The first apartment is literally just down this road. It's a triplex unit, there's a little street of them," George begins, pulling out of the parking lot again. "It would be nice, as you'd be so close to us."

   I know he's saying this on my sister's behalf, but I appreciate it anyway. "Yeah," I nod.

   "Marcus is already there, and he'll walk us through it, let us know what he thinks." George glances at me and then looks back at the road.

   "Okay."

   The road is literally two minutes away, and when George slows down again, I see the buildings he's talking about. They are small and don't look great from the outside. I know not to judge a book by its cover, though.

   Marcus - I presume - is standing by a black sports car, and stands up straighter as I push the door open and get out. He is tall and muscular with short dark hair and a bit of a beard. His suit coat is unbuttoned and he's wearing tight jeans, with dress shoes.

   "Hey," George begins as he leads me over to his friend. "Maya, this is Marcus, Marcus, Nella's sister, Maya."

   Marcus grins and shakes his head. "You weren't joking that they look alike. It's really nice to meet you, Maya."

   "You too," I nod. "Thanks for doing this."

   "It's literally my job," he answers, then lets out a laugh. "Let's go in."

   The apartment that's available is on the main floor, but as soon as we are inside I can smell something... not good. I notice the paint is chipped on the walls and as we walk through into the kitchen, the smell gets worse. Neither Marcus or George is saying anything and I don't dare open my mouth.

   "As you can see, it need some work. I read that the previous tenants moved out in a hurry and..." Marcus lets his voice trail off and he looks around. "It's worse than I was told. Sorry."

   George lets out a huff and I don't even look at him to see his reaction to this. I mean, the kitchen is small and a bit dirty, but not horrible. The smell is bad, but could probably be fixed by some heavy cleaning. I need to see the bedroom at least to know how I really feel about it. Marcus leads up through the small living area which is just an open space off the kitchen, with dents in one wall and some stains on the carpet. The bedroom and bathroom are down a little hallway and aren't any better, but I tell myself it's something, and I need something. I can't expect a perfect, pristine place to live on such short notice.

   "Dude," George finally speaks and I know it's not going to be good. But he doesn't go on.

   "I'm sorry," Marcus answers anyway. "I wouldn't have picked this one to show if I knew how bad it was."

   "It wasn't..." I say, but stop because they are both staring at me in disbelief. "It was okay."

   "That place was not okay," George says quickly.

   We are out front again, just standing there together on the front lawn.

   "Well, I need a place to live. How much it is a month?" I ask Marcus.

   He looks at George before answering. I see George shake his head, his hair moving as he does, but Marcus looks back at me anyway.

   "Eight-fifty."

   "For that dump?" George spits out. "It smells like cat pee."

   That was what that smell was.

   I notice that Marcus is trying to keep a straight face, but fails. He smirks at George.

   "That's not bad," I say. I feel bad for Marcus.

   "Yes, it is. Next," George tells Marcus.

   "Alright, it's... 45 Lou Lane," Marcus tells us, looking at his clipboard.

   "See you there," George says, then bumps his shoulder into his friend and turns to go towards his car.

   I follow, but look back over my shoulder at the triplex one more time. It didn't feel like home. It smelled bad. But I am willing to settle, which sucks. I need to find a place to live if I am really staying in Boothbay. And now I want to stay.

   The next place is an apartment building, but it looks nicer from the curb. There's a familiar feeling about it. George looks at me and smiles, and asks if I'm ready. I am, and I silently pray that it's even a little bit better.

   We follow Marcus inside the lobby and up two flights of stairs. He's talking the whole time, about how this building is older but the units have upgrades. He says he's rented out and sold a few units in the building in the past and his clients have always been happy. When he stops at number 212, George and I stop just behind him. I watch as he shoves the key in the door and pushes it open, then lets me go through first.

   It smells neutral, which is good. The entry way is open and I can see the kitchen and a big living room area. Already, I like it. It feels good. George is quiet, but Marcus is talking again.

   "So, this place is nine-fifty a month. I know, it's a lot for an apartment. But there's two bedrooms and upgrades in the kitchen, in the bathroom and there's even a balcony."

   I'm only half listening to him because I walk through the living room and see that the walls are beige and clean, the hardwood floors are shiny. Sure, it's more money than the other place, but it's worth it. I feel good here, and I think George notices.

   "You like it," he says, and it's not a question.

   I nod. "Yeah."

   "It's a quiet street, but all the streets over here are. Thomas Road is like a minute away and that's right on the water," Marcus tells me.

   Thomas Road. Fuck. That is why this place felt familiar. Thomas Road was where I grew up. My parents bought their big, old house there, on the water, one year after Nella was born. She and I grew up on the beach, in that very water. We learned to swim and surf. We made one million sand castles. We had bonfires with friends, as teens. It was the best life; we loved that life.

   But I didn't want to live a minute away from Thomas Road, where my father still lived, by himself. I didn't want to live so close to where all of my bad memories were.

   I see that George is already motioning to Marcus, but he doesn't understand.

   "I... I know the area," I tell him, taking a deep breath.

   Why does this place have to be so close to the very house I ran away from?

   I was eighteen, my mom was dead, and I found out that my dad had been cheating with his secretary at the office, for months. He was having sex with her while my mom was fighting for her life in the hospital. It came out by accident, obviously, but I had just finished high school. I was supposed to be enjoying my summer before college. My summer before having to grow up. Instead, I left that house and never went back.

   "What do you think?" Marcus wants to know. He's smiling.

   I squeeze my eyes shut and go check out the bedrooms - they are small but nice - and the bathroom, which is actually fancy. Lastly, Marcus shows me the balcony. I don't just like it, I really like it.

   "It's... great," I finally answer.

   "Good. I'm glad you think so," Marcus says.

   "It smells pretty good. And it's big, open," George agrees, looking at me.

   "You don't have to decide today, but I don't think it'll last-" Marcus goes on, and I know what he's trying to say.

   I hesitate. I shouldn't, but I do. I look around again, knowing I should just agree, even though it's too close to where my heart was broken the first time. And it's too close to exactly what I ran away from.

   "Hey," George says, seeing my hesitation. "You will make new memories here. With Nell, and Willow and... your new memories will replace those old ones."

   He knows. He knows everything. Of course he does - he's Nella's husband. She trusts him with her secrets, her past. But it's my past, too. They are my secrets. And it feels weird that he knows so much.

   Finally, I nod. He's right, and that has to be enough for now. "Okay. Yes."

   "Yes?" Marcus asks, tilting his head to the side.

   "I'll take it... or, you know, I'd like to."

   It feels like all my air left my body while I wait for him to reply. It's only a few second but it feels like hours.

   "Let's get the application going, then," he finally smiles, now tapping away on the iPad he has with him.

   I know I have to let go of whatever it is I still feel about Boothbay and about my father and about that boy that I loved with all my heart. I'll only be able to move on if I let go of my anger. It won't be easy but I'm willing to try, because I don't have much of an alternative.