Maya

I love working at the Art Hub. I'm into my third week of shifts and I am fine working on my own now. I know how to close up, and I think I know some of the products and inventory better than the people who have worked here way longer. 

  Tonight, I'm working with Clarissa, the teenager who works on Saturdays. She'll be off soon and I'll close up, but I like working with her. She's really into art and music and she's funny, too. She wants to go to college and study contemporary art.

  I'd been in the back storage room for a bit, flipping through the new orders and opening some boxes of product.  I sort of get lost in my own world and realize that I should go back up front, but when I do, I hear a voice that is much too familiar. Holden Prescott is standing at the counter, talking to Clarissa.

  "Holy shit." His voice is the same, maybe a bit deeper.

  Our eyes are just locked on each other and besides the short, well maintained beard that he never had before, he looks the same, too. His eyes are dark and mesmerizing and his brown hair is wavy and falling over his forehead.

  I'm not ready for this. I've been back in Boothbay for almost a month.  I've gotten a job, a new apartment of my own, and I've had sex with Marcus. Numerous times. But I'm not ready to be face to face with Holden Prescott.

  "Clarissa, just come get me if you need anything," I say, looking at my co-worker.

  She nods, and is mostly oblivious to the tension in the room.

  "Maya?" Holden calls after me.

  I don't stop walking until I'm in the back room again, the swinging door perfectly still. I fall into the wall and cover my face, squeezing my eyes shut. No. I can't go back out there, because I know Holden. I used to, I mean. He will just stand there waiting for me to come back so he can confront me.

  So I stay in the back room, sorting the most recent shipment that needs to get out of the shelves, for over an hour. There's no way he's still waiting out there, I decide. But then I remember that Clarissa is supposed to be off now, and I'm on my own for the last two hours of the evening.

  "It's not my business, I know that, but..." She's seventeen and she's nosy, and she's holding back a smile. "You know Holden?"

  Of course Clarissa knows who Holden is. Why wouldn't she?

  "I used to," I manage to say, walking back behind the counter.

  "He only just got back to town, like, a few months ago. He was gone to L.A. for awhile. He sold some of his paintings and was featured in a magazine. Isn't that so cool?" Clarissa goes on, and even though this is all new information for me, for whatever reason I'm not surprised.

  "How do you know him?" I ask her, because I'm curious.

  "Everyone knows him. But his mom is my sister's teacher. Do you know Mrs. Prescott? She teaches seventh grade now."

  For a minute there, I forgot about the small town life. I've been back just about a month and I haven't been thrown into it, really. I've avoided it the best I could. But seeing my dad and now seeing Holden and hearing Clarissa talk about him - it is all rushing back to me.

  I knew Mrs. Prescott. Annie. She was my mom's best friend, my entire childhood. Her big house was just fifty feet down the water from ours, where she raised her two boys, on her own. Her husband was killed in a workplace accident when we were young - Holden was only eight and his brother, Landon, was four. Nella and I grew up with Holden and Landon, though Nella and Holden were the same age and I was right in the middle. Mrs. Prescott visited my mom in the hospital every day during that year she was in. She brought her flowers and she snuck her chocolate. Annie would have given anything to have my mom get better. I would have, too. But she fell into a depression, right after the funeral. She slashed my dad's tires, when the gossip came out about him and his secretary. Annie became angry right along with me. And Holden couldn't deal with it.

  "Yeah, I know her," I tell Clarissa, forcing a smile.

   I wonder how much Clarissa knows about me. She's at least five years younger than me but she's been here all of her life. I was gone, and I wonder if she knows that.

  "My sister says she's a great teacher. Anyway, Holden comes in for supplies still, so that's awesome. He's pretty much a celebrity around here," Clarissa goes on.

  "Cool," I say, even though my stomach is in knots. "Well, you can get out of here. I'll finish this up."

  "Okay," she says, smiling at me.

  I watch her sign out and then go around the counter to leave. She waves before pushing the door open and I am still looking at the door long after it swings closed.

  I had thought about Holden a handful of times since I'd been back. Of course I had. But since no one had mentioned him - not Nella, or Kayleigh, both of whom had known him a long time - I assumed he had moved away and I didn't have to worry about seeing him. But now I remembered Nella said that I had "other people to deal with". She wanted me to reconnect with our dad, but did she also mean Holden? Nella knew my history with him. She knew that we were best friend for over ten years. She knew he was my first boyfriend, and my first kiss. She knew I loved him with every piece of my body. And she knew we fell apart when our mom died. She would have told me if she knew Holden was back in Boothbay, wouldn't she have?

  When the store closes and I finish up some work and lock up, I'm nervous to go out to the parking lot. Nella has started letting me take her car to work, and in exchange, I babysit Willow for their date nights and sometimes when she's working. I see the car right there, twenty feet away from me. But I'm nervous because everything feels different now. My world isn't what I thought, because Holden is in town and now he knows not only that I am back, but that I work at the Art Hub.

I'm already calling Nella as I start the car. I click it onto speakerphone and drop it into the seat beside me. It rings four times before she answers. It's only dinner time on a Saturday, but the sun's already going down. At least spring is almost over. Soon the days will be longer.

  "Hey," Nella answers, and I hear Willow chatting in the background. "Sorry. I'm just trying to feed Willow."

  "Oh, that's okay. Um, I'm on my way to your house," I tell her, pulling onto the road.

  "Okay. See you soon."

  "Yeah."

  "You okay? You sound funny," she says, and I'm not surprised. She knows me too well.

  "Uh, yeah. I'll tell you when I get there."

  It's a ten minute drive and my phone is ringing again before I even pull down Nella's road. I glance at it and see that it's Marcus. I'm not surprised about this either, because we've spent a few nights together over the last two weeks. Somehow we've managed to keep it casual and fun, while also acting totally normal if we are around other people. It's not like the four people - Nella, George, Philip and Kayleigh - that we hang out with don't know what we're doing, but we manage to keep it separate.

  I answer the call as I'm slowing down in front of my sister's house.

  "Hello?"

  "Hey." His voice is so sweet and it calms me, without even trying.

  "Hi."

  "Are you done work?" he asks, as casual as ever.

"Yeah. Just got to Nella's," I answer, turning off the car.

"Cool. Uh, so, we're doing a guys' night tonight... later on. Um, just at the bar by the harbour."

  I don't know why he's telling me this, but I wait for him to go on.

  "Are you busy tonight?" he asks.

  "You want me to go to guys' night?" I ask back, not thinking straight.

  Marcus laughs, genuinely. "No. Um, I was just thinking I could come over... afterwards."

  Oh. Ohh. My brain is finally working again. He wants to hook up tonight, after he spends a few hours drinking with George and Philip. I don't hate the idea, but I'm not in a good frame of mind at the moment. I'm still worried about Holden being in Boothbay.

  "Are you driving?" I ask, not saying anything about his offer yet.

  "No. George has to work early tomorrow so he'll be driving. I'll be... having some beers, you know," he tells me and then clears his throat.

  "Right. Okay, well call me later on?" I suggest, not fully committing to it.

"Yeah. Okay." He sounds satisfied enough with my answer.

"Have fun," I tell him, then wait until he says goodbye to hang up.

  Inside, Nella and Willow are in the kitchen. George is watching a soccer game on the TV, in the living room. All seems so good and normal and now I have to hold this all in, because I can't just explode right away. I'm not a teenager anymore. I have to keep my emotions in check.

  "Hi, Aunty Yaya," Willow shouts at me from the high chair, waving her hands around.

  "Hi sweetie," I smile at her.

  "There's meat loaf, and some potatoes," Nella says over her shoulder, while loading the dishwasher.  

  "Um, thanks." My stomach growls.

  "What's wrong?" she wants to know.

  I pull out a chair and sit, close to her. She's still looking between Willow and I. "Uh, I'm just sort of..." I let my voice trail off look at my hands. I look at Willow, who's showing potatoes into her mouth with her little hands. I guess I just have to say it, so I take a deep breath. "I'm trying to wrap my head around this... Holden was at the Art Hub today."

  Nella doesn't even look shocked, which pisses me off right away. She knew he was in town. She knew and she didn't tell me.

"Kayleigh told me he was back, like in January," she begins. "She hasn't really talked to him, but he's been in the store a few times."

"I hid in the back room until he left," I admit, watching for her reaction.

  "Of course you did," she smiles, shaking her head. "He was gone for the last two years, as far as I know. It's honestly just coincidence he's back now and so are you." How is she so calm about this?

  "Yeah, but... I would have liked a warning, you know, from Kayleigh. She knows what happened," I say, feeling annoyed again.

  "She thought you wouldn't take the job if you knew..." Nella admits.

  "Fuck," I say, then cover my mouth. "Sorry."

  Nella laughs and then turns to wipe up her daughter's hands and face. She doesn't say anything else to me for a few minutes, but then, after she lets Willow down and she runs off, my sister turns to me again. "Being back here wasn't going to be easy, Maya. And you will have to face both dad and Holden at some point."

I know she's right. Of course she is. But now all I want is to curl up in a blanket and cry.