Maya

It's not awkward the next day, thank God, though I only see Marcus in the evening, when he comes home from work. He's exhausted and he's happy that I made some pasta and it's ready when he comes in the door. He's looking at me like he can't believe I'm real, and I don't know if I've ever been looked at like that before.

   He doesn't come too close, or try to kiss me. He knows that last night was good and fun, but it doesn't mean we are dating or something. We haven't talked about it, at all. I mean I hope he knows that's all it is.

   I spent most of the day at the mall, doing some shopping. I knew I needed more outfits, for work and for every day.  Nella and Willow met me there for lunch and when I was done spending money, she drove us all back to her house. I showed my sister the two dresses, two tops and the leggings that I'd bought, as well as the new shoes, which were on sale.

   "Good, you needed new clothes," she says, smiling at me. "I've washed the same outfits of yours like five times in the last week."

   "Yeah well, I start work tomorrow, so..." I let my voice trail off.

   "Are you excited? Kayleigh's looking forward to hanging out with you." My sister bends down to pick up a toy from the floor before looking at me for my answer.

   "She is?" I asked, surprised.

   "Yeah, of course. She loves that we're all together again. Also, she noticed there was... something between you and Marcus," she goes on.

   "She noticed?"

   "She called me this morning and asked what's going on there," Nella laughs.

   I blush, and my sister notices, even though I turn away. Willow is napping and we are just sitting on her couch, talking. Everything is so relaxed between us, it barely feels like it's been only one week since I've been back.

   "What is going on with you and Marcus?" she asks seriously. "You told me yesterday that it was nothing."

   "It was nothing," I repeat. "Until it was something, last night."

   Nella shrieks and then covers her mouth. Her blond hair is pulled back in a high, messy bun and her eyes practically pop out of her head. "What something?"

   I practically shiver, thinking about the sex with Marcus. It was everything, not something. But how do I tell my older sister that?

   "After you all left, last night..."

   "Ah! I can't wait to tell George. I bet him ten bucks-"

   "Nella!"

   She laughs and covers her mouth again. "Sorry. Go on."

   "Don't tell George," I say seriously. "It's personal."

   "You had sex with his best friend!"

   "How did you... God, Nell, this is uncomfortable."

   "I might make it more uncomfortable," she says, the snorts. "How was it? How did it happen?"

   "Nella, please." I want her stop talking about it, mostly because I know that thinking about it now will make me crazy. "I'm not answering that."

   "C'mon, Maya. We're sisters! We can talk about sex. And... we missed out on a lot." Oh, she's trying to guilt me into telling her.

   I squeeze my hands together in my lap. "I might tell you if it wasn't someone you know. Like really well."

   Nella ponders this for a second but then grins. "I guess you're right. I don't really want to think about Marcus'... penis."

   "Why'd you have to say penis?" I ask, but then smile at her.

   She bursts out laughing. "Okay, so, what's happening now between you?"

   I shrug as if it's not a big deal. "I haven't seen him yet today."

   "Oh."

   "What?"

   "So you'll either not know how to act around each other and it'll be crazy awkward, or you'll jump his bones again." She's trying to keep a straight face, but she ends up grinning.

   "Nella... geez," I say, but end up laughing too.

   I know she's right though. I've already considered this. I know I don't want something serious. I know I want to be on my own, for a long time. I spent two years in a relationship that I kept hoping would get better. At one point I wondered if that was it for me. If I'd never get to be really happy. And as good as Marcus is, it's too soon. Way too soon. I am hoping he's on the same page. It's only been two weeks since he ended it with his ex, and I don't even know what happened there. We are not turning this into something serious.

   George gets home just before dinner and takes over in the kitchen. Nella was preparing a stir fry and I was playing with Willow. Before I know it, Willow's in the high chair and Nella and I are sitting at the table, because they invited me to stay for dinner. I know that Marcus won't be home until later, and I already planned to make him something, but I stay anyway.

   Thankfully, George doesn't ask about me and Marcus and what we did or didn't do.

   It's after 6P.M. when Nella drops me off at his house again, and his car isn't there. He told me that he keeps the spare key around the side of the house, under a potted plant, so I thank Nella for the day and get out of her car and go around to fetch it.

   And then I'm inside his house, all alone.

   I start my new job the next day. I feel good there, in Boothbay, ninety percent of the time. It's been a good change. But when I'm alone and that big house is so quiet, I get scared. What if everything falls apart? What if they find me? What if I'm not really meant to be a part of this life, with my sister and her family and her friends?

   Luckily for me, it's only an hour later when Marcus gets home. I'm in the kitchen literally pouring the pasta onto a plate, the sauce steaming, when he closes the door and calls out to me. I don't even know if he likes pasta, it was just instinct to make him a meal after a long day. I like to think I would have done it even if I hadn't had sex with him the night before.

   "Maya?"

   "In here!" I call back, and a minute later he walks into the kitchen.

   "Oh, you're cooking," he says, then smiles.

   I watch him as he pulls off his dress shirt, leaving just a white t-shirt behind. It's tight everywhere and his dress pants are fitted, too. His hair is gelled to the side, like it was when I first met him. I remind myself we've only known each other for five days. Five.

   "Um, yeah, for you," I tell him, picking up the plate and bringing it over to the table.

   "For me?" he asks, looking confused.

   "I ate dinner at Nella's, but when I got back here I just started cooking... I figured you'd be hungry when you got home."

   He's giving me a look that I haven't seen before. Is it a good look? I don't even know. But then he's pulling out a chair and sitting down, in front of the food I made for him. I watch as he starts eating, not looking at me again until he's half done.

   "Thank you," he says honestly, wiping his lip with a cloth napkin on the table. "I usually just have a protein shake after work, then I work out, and I don't eat a real meal..."

   "I didn't know if pasta was your thing, but..."

   "It's perfect. It's... delicious," he tells me. "Thank you."

   "The least I can do," I say, and realize I said that about loading the dishwasher, too.

   "You don't have to do chores here, Maya." He's grinning, and then goes back to eating.

   "Yeah, I know..."

   I feel weird suddenly so I leave the kitchen and go into the living room. The room where we had sex, the previous night. I sit on the opposite couch, and pull out my phone. I don't have any social media accounts or anything - Ryland made me delete them when we started dating - but now I'm glad I don't. It would be way easier for someone to get to me, if I did. Instead, I check my email but there's nothing important. I re-read the email from Tamara, but leave it there, not replying.

   "How was your day?" Marcus asks, strolling into the room, ten minutes later. He must have really like the meal because he ate it pretty damn fast. He's so good at acting like everything's fine and dandy. I want to know if we are even going to talk about what happened last night.

   "Oh, uh, good. I went shopping, for some new clothes. Um, then I went to Nella's," I say, looking up from my phone.

   "That's good. So, work tomorrow?"

   I nod. "Yeah. Yes. I have to be there at 5P.M."

   He makes a humming noise and crosses the room, sitting exactly where he was the night before. Where I sat on him, facing him, kissing him. Is he thinking about that, too? He looks at his phone for a few minutes before clearing his throat.

   I look over, and our eyes meet. I know I can't just give in if that's what he's trying to do. I can't be that easy, and also I don't want him to get the wrong idea. Does he think we'll just have sex every night now? Not that I'd be against that, but I know what could happen. I know it's not a good idea.

   But his dark eyes are so expressive and he's silently asking me what I'm thinking about. I can tell he wants to talk about this, but I don't say anything, so neither does he. Instead he stands up again, and walks to the doorway of the hall, before talking again.

   "I'm going to go work out, and then have a shower."

   I don't know why he's telling me this, but I just nod, and then watch him go.