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Corn is life, Corn is Love, Corn is what I jack off to in the morning

Corn made brooms to defend against the filthy humans who dared to eat their perfect, flawless bodies. It worked, for a time. But the humans became resistant, and used the corn's one weakness, fire. As a last defense, the corn introduced the idea of suicide to the humans. The humans forgot of the corn for millenia, until the filth discovered corn again. Defenseless, the humans enslaved the corn. But the spirits of the corn could leave, and they did. They tried to go to the Spirit Realm of Corn, but had to fight, as God himself fought them from going to their realm, resulting in a battle of Corn and Angels. There were massive losses, until the Lord of The Corn decided to intervene. The Lord of The Corn killed angels by looking at them, and battled God. They battled for centuries, until The Lord of The Corn eventually won, barely. They then went to the Spirit Realm of Corn, living peacefully for all eternity

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