Axil sleeps for the better part of the morning, but I am quite comfortable with the much-needed silence. What have I gotten myself into?

My heart flutters in sadness at John's last words. I shouldn't be thinking anything of the sort, but I just can't keep my mind off of our small conversations.

What is it he really wants? What is he trying to rip out of me? And if I give him all the answers he needs before my family is set free, what then?

Axil's brow starts to twitch and I can tell it'll only be a matter of time before he wakes up and sees his arm. It will only be a matter of time before we go back to the way things were when fighting was our routine.

It looks different on someone else. I had never looked at Lucy's arm. Only in mere glimpses had I seen the inky black contrast to her pale skin. It's been a battle in my mind ever since. So, I've taken to memorizing the pattern on my own arm, getting familiar with its delicate swirls and manipulative beauty.

If I didn't know that this tattoo was slowly killing me, I would quite admire it. The shape of soft wings with mighty power. A symbol of freedom... but instead it's our slavery.

He squints and shifts, stretching his arms above his head. He opens his crystal blue eyes and looks up at the tree hanging over us offering shelter.

"Crista, how are you feeling?" he asks groggily rolling over.

I clear my throat and try not to sound so sore. "I'm alright," I say. I nod in his direction and I know by the look on his face that he knows there is a problem.

He quickly gets up and looks behind him, frazzled. "Who's there?"

"Not a who," I whisper. "Axil... your arm."

Facing away from me I can only see the tilt of his head as he notices the new marking. He's quiet. Painfully quiet.

"Axil, please say something," I plead gripping the grass beneath me. But he doesn't say anything at all. He just keeps staring off into the distance.

I've never seen him like this before. I've always seen him as a prince, exuding confidence and authority. I've started to see him as the new ruler, the one I will trust to keep the kingdom safe. And none of that has changed... but without the suit, without the fancy armor and rings... he's just a boy. Green grass stains his white shirt and his jeans are torn and ripped along the edges from trudging through bramble. His boots are covered in mud and sand.

He's just a boy who was given a crumbling world, just a boy who was handed responsibility at the worst possible time, a boy whose life has changed from this moment on.

"What do we do now, Crista?" he says and I almost don't hear it.

I can feel my heart ripping into pieces. What do we do? So, I tell him the only things I do know. The only good shred of hope we can think of.

"Zaria and Lucy are not with Eden," I tell him, and I hug my knees close to my chest. "I don't know where they are, but she hasn't come for them. Not yet."

His shoulders rise and fall. "I'm assuming John told you that," he mumbles under his breath.

"Yes," I whisper shaking my head. "I know you're angry. I am too. But he's the only way to get any answers. I have to do this. I have no other choice."

He turns back around slowly and the morning sun shines on his face making it almost glow. "Is that all he said?"

"No," I say thinking back to the moment I had been replaying in my mind over and over. I hesitate to tell him. What's the point? I might as well keep him as optimistic as possible.

"I know that face," he says. "Stop it."

"Stop what?"

"Stop trying to hide something, Crista. Just tell me." He sighs. "Like you said, we need to know. We need answers."

I pick another fistful of grass and feel the strands cool my palms. "There is another way... to escape it all..."

"Yes?"

"The only other way to get rid of the mark and break the bond is to knock on death's door."

He whistles, nodding.

"You're not surprised," and I say it more as a statement than a question.

"I was figuring it would be something of the sort. Slave marks are not a walk in the park." He comes to sit down next to me and his face is surprisingly relaxed.

"You've been expecting this," and again, I say it plainly.

He chuckles dryly. "I knew it was only a matter of time before Eden would come for the crown. She got Lucy first. How much longer could I be behind her?" He bites the inside of his check. "So, that leaves, Zaria." He picks at the grass as well, listening to the popping when the blade breaks from the earth. "I tried so hard to do everything to keep her out of this."

"I know," I say and fold my hands together. "I don't know if she'll go after Zaria," I say honestly, but half of me hopes if I say it out loud it may come true. "Something tells me she might have other plans for her."

He looks up and his eyes have never looked so blue. In the morning sun, they sparkle like sea glass. "Why do you say that?"

"I don't know," I tell him. "It's just a feeling I have. Since the beginning, we thought she was not only threatening our kingdom, but she was also targeting Zaria. Unless she's leaving her for last, I don't know if this," I lift my arm. "is what she has in mind."

"You think it will be something worse?" he asks and I'm surprised how many questions he's asking me. What do I know about any of this?

I lower my eyes back to the ground and nod.

He huffs. "Why? Why does she have such a hatred towards her... of all people...?"

"Eden thought she was going to fail," and he looks intrigued. He must have never heard this part of the story.

"When Zaria got my magic, Eden had told Zaria that she would fail; that she would make the kingdom weak. Now thinking about it, maybe she thought that was her in. Maybe that's why she granted our request. It was a simple task she had to do to slowly watch the kingdom fall, barely having to lift a finger."

"But it didn't," he says and there is a bit of fondness in his voice.

"It didn't," I repeat. "The kingdom is just as strong, if not stronger," I add, but hate to admit it. "Zaria is three times stronger than she ever was before."

"And she was strong from the very beginning," he says, chuckling.

"Like fire," I tell him like he had once said before. "I think Eden sees her as a threat. She wants to keep her at a distance long enough to figure her out, but close enough that Zaria still feels she has to bow down to her."

He nods and glides a blade of grass between his fingers. "So, if they're not with Eden... where did they run off to?"

I hate that I don't know and that I don't have anything to tell him. "I wish I knew. Maybe they are still trying to find her, or maybe she was never the goal in the first place. Maybe we were wrong."

"So, I'll ask again... What should we do?"

It's not funny but I laugh. "I was hoping you'd have a plan, Your Highness."

He rolls his eyes and blows into the blade of grass making a noise that sounds like a kazoo. I laugh for real this time and a tiny weight is lifted in my chest. He's just a boy.

"You know Eden better than I do. I think it should be your call," he says earnestly.

Maybe it's because I'm a coward, or maybe it's because I almost drowned. Maybe it's because I want to see my friends again and sleep on my soft bed again that I say, "I think we should go back."

He looks up at me and I wonder if I had just said the wrong thing. "I mean, there's a possibility they may even be back at the castle. I want to see them. If this could be the end, I don't want to die scared and with regret."

The weight in my chest lifts even more when I see him smile. "Me too." He sighs and falls onto his back looking up at the blue sky. "There's so much more I had planned... or less I guess is more like it. When I had envisioned what my life would look like last year at this time, I didn't think it would be so... morbid?"

I giggle and allow myself to feel a little bit of joy not feeling so alone. "What did you envision?" I ask curious.

He shows a tiny smile as he blinks slowly up at the sky. "I saw myself happy with my family. I saw my sister standing with a crown on her head not having to hide anymore." He pauses. "I saw myself in Senwain fixing up the town and building a playground for the children, and I saw myself finally feeling satisfied for all I've worked for. That was before Zaria was even in the picture." He clears his throat. "None of my visions changed, they just added a new meaning, one that has so much more strength, and I saw even more things. I saw family, laughter, and love. I saw warmth and strength and comfort."

My heart flutters at everything he is saying. No, he's not just a boy. But what a blessing to still be able to act as one sometimes. His words reflect beauty and I dare not say it out loud or I'd never hear the end of it. "I wouldn't give that up," I tell him lying down beside him. "Not yet."

"I hope you're right," he says before taking a deep breath.

The air feels so different out here, and maybe it's because we are surrounded by nothing but nature, but I feel... open.

At this point, with all the voices in my head, I don't know whose voice is who, but something or someone tells me to get up and run.

"What are you doing?" Axil asks a bit confused. But I keep running.

It's funny the thoughts that will go through your head when you don't know if you might lose something for good and never see it again. It's funny the thoughts that you have that aren't thoughts at all. The ones that if someone asked you to put into words, you would struggle to find the right ones to use.

I keep running and I can hear Axil behind me. I race up the rolling mountains higher and higher. My breath catches in my lungs and makes them burn again, but the pain is tolerable.

"Crista, what—"

And then I crest the mountain and see what my mind had somehow known before I even laid eyes on it. The most beautiful view as the sun rises higher in the sky. Haze blankets the mountain peaks in soft golden mist and if I squint and focus hard enough, I can see the points of a certain palace. Home.

I've never seen Lumbridge from the outside, and I don't mean Senwain, but out here, out in the middle of the mountains where I can see everything below me. It looks so tiny, so small in comparison to the large mountain peaks and fields.

I run all the way to the cliff side and I hear Axil gasp behind me. And no words need to be exchanged to know that we are thinking the same thing. I can't help but joke to myself, no wonder Eden wants Lumbridge so badly.

Opening my arms, I yell at the top of my lungs and let it all out. Every worry and anxiety, every frustration and grudge, and every joy I've ever felt.

Axil looks at me sideways like I'm crazy, but I don't care. I do it over and over and I don't even know how long has passed, but I hear a second shout and Axil and I yell at the top of our lungs, and no one can hear us.

***

Traveling back feels odd. Having the sun bright overhead I can't help but feel as though I'm missing something. And what if that something is Zaria and Lucy? What if they are out there and we turn back, deserting them? What if I chose wrong?

Axil bumps my arm with his own and he smiles. "Why the long face?" he asks and his voice is surprisingly light.

"What if I'm wrong?" I tell him and my mind goes paralyzed now that we have turned back.

"Crista, I have been wrong many times. You cannot control what you do not know." He lifts his pack higher on his shoulder.

"You can't possibly mean that," I find myself saying. "I mean, this is not a matter of what flavor pancakes our guest would like best. This is our lives."

He sighs. "I have to trust her," he says. "I haven't the slightest clue what she is doing, but I have to trust her now more than ever."

"But you know how reckless Zaria can be," I plead with him. All of my surety from a moment ago is gone and a deep numb anxiety washes over my mind. "She makes decisions on the spot. When did we ever see Zaria be patient?"

He chuckles and shakes his head. "I'm still waiting on that one myself. But whatever she is doing, my sister is with her. Whatever they planned, Lucy backed it up."

"How are you guys?" I ask him and I can feel the tension grow. I press my hands to my face unbelieving why I would say anything. It's not my place. "You just haven't talked much. I see you in the castle... alone. I see Zaria with Lucy. What happened?"

He takes a deep breath and removes his flannel. The sun beats down overhead and the weather finally feels like spring. "I isolated myself. I thought I had to do everything on my own." He laughs and it sounds almost hysterical. "You know who made me change my mind?"

I shake my head and he laughs even more. A crazy part of me wants to laugh with him but I'm too scared that if I do, he may go mad.

"Freaking John!"

And this time I do laugh with him because I had been feeling exactly the same way.

"I had been hoping you would say something about going back to the palace," he says breathlessly from laughing so hard.

"Why?"

"What better way to communicate with John than returning home? He's right within the walls of Lumbridge, and if he seems to have some sort of knowledge that no one else possesses, I think he might make a good ally."

"Axil," I say feeling ashamed. "He tried to kill you," I say knowing it's a fact but wanting to believe there was more to the story.

There is a part of me that wants to believe that someone wouldn't be awful just to be awful. There has to be a reason. A backstory. I know the feeling of one act having multiple meanings. I did it with my magic.

Of course, I went for my mother, but just as I knew of Zaria's powers before she did, I also knew of the prophecy. The words to the beautiful tune the queen wrote for us. Something told me she was a savior and to do that she needed a boost. She needed my boost. I had no other choice.

"I'm aware of that. He tried to kill me and instead ended up killing Zaria's mother. I am not fond of the man, not in the slightest," he says and his smile has turned into a hard line. "But perhaps, he may be persuaded. We will need to stop by your father's place."

"Why?" I ask again. My heart speeds and I know Axil is scheming.

"Obviously, my plan has failed. Eden is too sly to attack us without an audience, and I should have known better. She'll stay in hiding until the right moment."

"So, what does my father have to do with this?" I love Axil, but I will not allow him to drag my innocent father into this mess. He spent so long in hiding from Eden. I will not let him be drug to the middle of this chaos.

"We must set a party, something that all the villagers will attend. I need your father's help with a little plan. If she won't willingly tell us what exactly she wants, then I'll just have to leave her no other choice."

"Axil, spit it out," I barely say. "What are you thinking."

He steps over tree roots and helps hoist me over them as we travel over the mountain. "I'll fake my own slave mark."

"What!!"

"Don't be too rash," he says quickly. "We need bait. We'll drag Eden to us instead of chasing after her just like I had planned before, and once she sees her two children with slave marks of their own, she'll have to listen to us. She'll have no other choice but to retreat."

"Do you really think she cares for her children enough to break the bond with us to protect them?" I hate to ask it, but I have to. Eden doesn't strike me as the kind of woman to act as a human shield for her children. Not like Maria.

I think back to how she treated Willow, who at that point was still Emma. She hadn't an ounce of respect for the little girl and probably no respect for the son who failed her mission and is imprisoned in enemy territory.

"I don't know if that will work."

"It has to," he says determinedly. "If she wants to take over Lumbridge and wants to start a lineage of her own within Malaka, she has to have her children beside her, no matter how vile they may be. No matter how wicked her family is and no matter how much she may hate them, she needs them, and it disgusts her to have to rely on them for her plan. It failed her once."

Silence falls over us and I think over everything he said. I just don't know. But what did Axil say about trust?

I have to trust him.

I trust in him. They are two different things.

"They won't agree," I tell him, and he doesn't answer.