There is a cup that sits in the corner of his cell. I grab it and set it upright. Taking my blade out of its sheath I prick my finger and squeeze the wound until there is a sufficient amount of blood lining the bottom of the cup. John presses his lips tightly together as he watches me do this and I try to avoid eye contact, but I can still hear the subtle catch of his breath as he watches it drip into the cup.

"This," I tell him, "is for an emergency." I hand the cup to him and hold the slice on my finger shut. "If you use it, run and don't look back."

I stand up and reach for the wall.

"Before you go," he starts and gets up after me. He looks around the cell like he can find the what to say written on the wall. "Is there anything I can do to possibly make up for what I have done?" he says, defeated, knowing that there's nothing he can do.

But I give him an answer, regardless. "Yes." His eyes perk up and a little bit of color comes to his cheeks. "I don't know what's going to happen tonight," I tell him looking him in the eye. "If everything goes to plan, I will come back for you... if not... use it," I say gesturing to the cup, "and get out. I'll let everyone know what you have said. It's up to them to give you a second chance. If I don't come back for you, do everything you can to take the crew and run."

He slowly draws his eyes away from mine and looks inside the cup. He nods, still looking down.

I turn around and let the bloodied part of my finger touch the wall.

"Zaria," he says grabbing onto my shoulder. "I'll see you soon."

***

It pains me to leave him down there, especially after everything he spoke about. And if it is indeed all true, he doesn't deserve to be down there at all. I saw his aura. He wasn't mad or manipulative, he was just... depressed. Really, really depressed.

But it's the only way for me to make sure he is safe while I am gone. At least I can trust Tyrian to protect everyone upstairs... Lucy as well. Their senses are heightened more than any one of us. They'll be able to feel if something is different. And regardless of Tyrian's snarkiness, I trust him enough to be serious. I kind of have to.

All of a sudden, I hear clacks of heels in the hallway and a whip of blond hair run past the entrance. It stops and clops back a few paces. Lucy appears under the archway and runs towards me.

"Lucy," I say. "What's going on?"

"I – need – to – talk – to – you," she says through pants as she runs down the hallway. Her hair is static and the hem of her dress is dirtied from running all around.

"Privately?"

She swallows and takes a deep breath. "Yes."

I nod my head in the direction of my room. "Let's go."

We walk in silence all the way up to my room and I have to admit I've never felt so uncomfortable standing next to Lucy. Even when I was new here and I still thought her to be a maid, I never felt so tense.

I open the door and let her walk in. She immediately walks to the center of the room and turns around as I close the door behind us.

"I'm sorry," she says quickly. "I'm sorry for what I said. It... just still a touchy subject. And everyone around me is dying. And here I am half Fae and I'll live way longer than everyone else... and why do I get that privilege? Why am I the one that gets to survive? Oh, my goodness Zaria you've almost died like four times now and I just can't stand sitting back and not being able to do anything. And I'm not getting visions like I used to which makes me even more useless. And—"

"Lucy, Lucy. Stop," I say and grab onto her hands. "You don't have to apologize and you shouldn't feel useless."

"Zaria, I'm losing my power because I've been rejecting the Fae part of me. I can't stand it. I can't. But if I don't accept it soon, I lose it... all of it. Just as Axil has come of age so have I. I've passed it. And I'm paying the price for it. I had a gift that helped people. How self-centered am I to give that up because of some selfish pride?"

"It's not selfish."

"It is. I'm sorry. I've only made this worse for you. I didn't mean—"

"I know," I say squeezing her hands and she shivers.

"Do you mind," she says quietly, "me asking what exactly you were doing down with John? Crista won't tell us much."

I crazy part of me chuckles. "She wasn't there for much." I let go of Lucy's hand and start to pace about the room. For once, the blank walls are helpful in the point of clearing my mind of any distractions. "Crista was right. He's been able to communicate with her back and forth. He's been speaking to her as a friend would. I just thought it was some manipulation to get us down there, but she believed him to be just as she believed Willow. I refused to accept her plea until I saw him myself. I don't think he's lying."

"What about?" she asks and there is a new hardness in her voice.

I raise my eyebrows and stick my arms out. "Just hear me out. He speaks of Eden practically possessing him. She was able to get into his mind and figure out his likes and dislikes, his fears and fantasies. She used that to her advantage. In exchange for getting us out of my father's grasp, he traded his body to be her puppet within Lumbridge.

"Ew," she says and I can't help but laugh. "Okay, but he still agreed to overthrow the kingdom. This is our lives we're talking about."

I hold my finger up. "Ah, and this is where the story takes a turn. After a while of being here, he wanted out of the deal. I guess he saw how safe we could be if we just stayed and started over. We would deal with Damian whenever we had to... if we ever had to. But at that point, it was already too late."

"He was already too deep in," she says as if she were the one who lived through it.

I nod and she sighs wrapping her arms around herself. "So... Did he tell you anything you needed to know to win? Was he the man with the answers?"

"See, maybe, maybe not. He had answers to way more important questions besides what Eden is up to. Even if everything does go awry, I'll have a bit of closure," I hesitate but add in, "You need it too."

"What am I supposed to do?" she asks and her eyes look a lot darker than I've ever seen them.

I smile. "You do what is right, even if it is hard," I say quoting my mother. "And hey, if you see John later tonight, don't send him back down. I left him with my blood and told him if he doesn't see me again to use it and take you guys somewhere."

"Where?"

"Anywhere," I laugh, baffled. "Anywhere where you guys won't be found. Perhaps he might take you back to Flesherg."

She rolls her eyes and smiles. "I doubt it." She shakes her head lazily. "And... you believe him. You truly don't think he's lying?"

"I won't know for sure. I never will know for sure. But I'd rather believe that perhaps I have gotten this all wrong. I'd rather swallow my own pride and be happy than hang onto the possibility he could be lying."

"Pain doesn't last forever," she whispers.

I softly smile and nod. "Oh!" I crouch under my bed and pull out a dress box. "For you."

"For me?" she says grabbing the box and laying it on top of my bed. Opening it she gasps and takes the dress out of the box putting it up against her body. An aquamarine river of fabric flows as she twirls. "Zaria. It's beautiful." She looks down and holds the sleeve cuffs close to her eyes. "The detailing with the lace and pearls is stunning. Why?" she asks looking up with a new shimmer in her eyes.

"Pain doesn't last forever," I repeat after her.

***

I lay in my bed, my back too straight and my limbs too stiff. Trying to get some rest is a no-go. Every time I close my eyes, all I can see is a mix of faces. Eden, Willow, and John. John and Crista. Crista and Lucy. Lucy and Tyrian. Tyrian and Axil. Axil and John. And John to Eden.

So, I keep my eyes open and focused on the white ceiling. I've searched for Axil but he seems to be missing in action. I even took a trip out to Senwain to see if he was at the fountain, but he's nowhere to be found.

Weirdly, I would think it harder to go to the Crystal Cave tonight if he were here with me, and maybe there's a small part of him that knows that too. Or... that's what I'd like to believe.

Eden's voice rings in my head. "He doesn't love her. She's a weapon he doesn't want anyone else finding."

Shutting down the thought as soon as it enters my mind is tougher than I thought because it keeps playing on repeat.

But... it can't be, I think to myself. I have so much proof that says otherwise... unless it's all a lie. No, so you'll just believe that John is telling the truth and think that Axil's affections were all just a ruse?

I roll the pearl beads around my wrist, it's smooth cool texture keeping me grounded. And despite the feeling of admiration I get wearing them, I slip the bracelet off and lay it next to me on the bed.

My skin crawls and lying here is eating me alive. My body tells me before my mind can register what I'm doing and I'm up out of bed with my sword in my hand.

I've got to move. Keep moving. Keep on your toes. Stay alert. Stay prepared.

I march all the way down to the Sparring Room. The hallways are empty and dark. The setting sun catches my eye as I pass by the Grand Windows.

My footsteps are heavy and loud as they echo through the whole palace. And it hits me like a ton of bricks.

I'm alone.

There's no one with me.

I'm all by myself.

No one is here to help me.

Even when I was in Flesherg and I practically raised myself I never felt this kind of loneliness. I'm used to the kind of loneliness where people know of me... but they don't know me. But now... now I know people... and they know me. And the fact that I've allowed myself to make these connections is the sole reason why I feel so miserable. I did this to myself and I am the one paying the consequences.

Who knows... maybe Damian was right. Factually, not morally, but he prepared me for a life of solitude so I wouldn't feel like this. Because he knows exactly what this loneliness feels like.

I think on conversations. All the ones I have had and all of the ones that were yet to come. I think of all the things I kept to myself because of my own self-pride and insecurity.

And now Crista will never know how much I viewed her as a sister. She'll never know that when she wasn't looking, I'd sneak extra food on her plate because I know how much eating makes her happy. She'll never know how many times I've laid in bed and started to laugh just replaying some of the jokes she had said in my head.

Lucy will never know how much I looked up to her as a role model. She'll never know how many times I stared at her across the Study and wondered how she kept it all together. She'll never know how many times I snuck past her room and peeked in on her kneeling beside her bed, praying. And she'll never know how many times I've prayed for her before I went to sleep.

John will never know how many times I begged the gods to forgive myself for still loving the man who murdered my mother. He'll never know how much my heart leapt to hear him speak again and tell me all that had happened. He'll never know how many times I thought back to the past when he consoled me and pretended, he was there with me in the present. He'll never know how many times I still caught myself thinking of him still at my side and that it made me feel not so alone.

And Axil. He'll never know the true extent of how much he changed me for the better. Without him, I probably wouldn't have changed my ways. He'll never know about the extra horse-riding lessons I snuck into his schedule because he loves it. He'll never know about how many meetings I sat through half asleep and he was the only reason I stayed seated in that room. And he'll never know how much I truly learned to love him.

And all of these things I can't say out loud. Not now, they would seem too insincere. No, I missed my opportunity, and I'll probably never get it again.

Something in me snaps and I realize that I'm already in the sparring room swinging my sword wildly. I catch my breath and blink, trying to remember how and when I got down here.

The lights are off and there is only a soft glint of light out the window.

But there's one thing on my mind, regardless of everything. It was all worth it.

Every single moment.

All the lies to get here were worth it. All the secret glances and silent curses were worth it. All of the fights and arguments were worth it. Because if none of that would have happened, I wouldn't have had all of the good memories. The ones that made me smile as I drifted off to sleep. The ones that made me snort my drink as we were gathered in the Dining Hall. The ones that made me feel like I finally had a family. A place I was meant to be and a purpose I was meant to fulfill.

And now it is the end, and I realize that this is the moment I have been preparing myself for.

I feel as though I'm falling and once again, I snap out of a trance and wake up to being submerged underwater. Holding my breath, I allow myself to float to the top as I readjust to the present. Again, questioning when and how I got here.

But this is the moment. I feel myself become very, very cold. Goosebumps line my skin and my teeth chatter as I break the surface.

Taking a deep breath, the frozen air stings my face and I have to squint to open my eyes.

I gasp and my shock almost throws my face back in the water. Fighting to stay up, I swim to the edge of the Crystle Cave and pull myself up.

Surrounding me is not the Crystal Cave I once knew. The vibrant and sparkling crystals have faded to a clear dull shade. I reach towards the wall and It's all ice. I breathe and a puff of hot air fogs in front of me.

What has she done?!

I take a step back and look around. The whole cave is frozen and white; all life and magic vanished.

"Welcome," I hear from behind me and her eerie voice echoes throughout the cave. "I've been dying to see the girl who believed her life could be a fairytale."