"I need to talk to Crista and Mika," I say as jogging out of the Council Room, leaving the king.
"I'm coming with you." Axil yells on my tail.
"So am I."
I don't need to turn to know that soft melodic voice.
"Lucy." I stop walking, halting my tracks. She looks as beautiful as ever, just as she always does. Neat blonde curls and glowing skin. Her pale blue dress hugs her frame, flaring at the waist.
"Lucy, are you sure?" I ask. Her furrowed brow is enough to tell she's angry.
"Absolutely," she presses sternly. "I have some affairs to settle."
We walk down the halls silently. The tension is almost unbearable. One foot in front of the other, I try not to think about what had happened to Adam that night.
The Christmas season made it a little easier to forget my worries and haunts of that night, but for Lucy... she was all alone. I celebrated Christmas with the royal family. I got to celebrate with Axil and then there was Lucy. A princess who pretended to be a lowly servant to protect herself only left with the memory of a guard with a heart of gold and a sense of humor to drive anyone insane. But I would take his sarcasm any day rather than bear this suffocating silence.
"You don't have to do this, Lucy," Axil starts. "I don't know what we're dealing with—
"That's just the thing. Eden is coming and we have to be prepared."
His stride slows. "I don't know if I want you involved. I mean, look at what happened last time."
She pauses in her step waiting for her brother to do the same. Once he does, she looks down at him and smirks. "I may still seem like the fragile little sister to you who needs coddled, but you need all the help you can get. I don't know what all of these pictures mean, but there is a reason for it."
"How do you know about the pictures?" he asks. "You weren't at the meeting."
"You seem to forget many times brother, how many witches surround you. I have my ways."
Axil subtly rolls his eyes and continues walking.
"Do you have any other clue as to what the drawings might mean?" I ask, following.
She looks at me with her brilliant blue eyes. "I think you are onto something about our time running out. The hourglass is a very clear symbol of that. But the crows concern me."
She trails off like she's thinking of something else. I don't ask what, though I am dying to know.
***
"So let me get this straight. Eden's been sending tiny little drawing and you guys are scared?" Mika asks.
"Is it really that hard to believe that there's more meaning to this? Even if it's not directly Eden but someone else. Does this not matter to you?"
She waves her hand at Axil, shushing him. "If Eden is the one behind this, you are going to face an evil you have never witnessed, not some foolish little doodles" She looks at me. "Even worse than what you felt with your girlfriend betraying you."
"You will NOT—
"It's okay," I counter.
She slowly closes her eyes, sighing. Leaning her weight against the edge of the table, she folds her hands. I sense the color around her shift. A dark looming grey, almost black.
She glances over at Crista; her one and only daughter. She must know about the nightmare. Mika would do anything for her daughter especially after what her daughter did for her.
"Mika," I calm my voice. "We are not trying to start a war we're trying to prevent one." She crosses her arms. "Please, is there anything that you can tell us about the drawing? Any legend or symbolism—"
"I'm sorry," she says coldly. "I cannot help you with this."
"No," Axil starts. He walks up to her, towering over her face like he does with everyone except his sister. Mika still slouches, unbothered to the eye. "Your own daughter went to this woman to get your life back, and now we are trying to save all the lives in our kingdom."
She rolls her eyes at him, sighing again.
"I'm not only asking this of you as your nephew, but as your future king. Please, Aunt. I know you have something to tell."
The calmness in her voice is almost more frightening than if she were yelling. "I know of no such thing, Prince Axil," she spits.
He looks into the corner where Crista has been sitting the whole time. I have never seen nor felt distress as strong as what is radiating off of her right now. It's so strong it burns my eyes and my muscles tense.
"Crista... please..." he whispers turning to her as his last hope.
She bites her lip, shaking her head.
Axil stalks out of the room, slamming the door behind him. The sound makes Crista jump in her seat but she doesn't look up. In her brother's place Lucy steps forward.
"I expected more from you, Chosen."
She says it to no one in particular. Her icy eyes pierce each of them before she too walks out the room.
I take it in one last time. This swirl of purple, grey, and black. I breathe it in, the heaviness settling in my chest. All anger and frustration.
I hate having to understand. Because hidden in that black mist is not just stony defense, but regret and hurt. I can't be angry with them even if I wanted to because I see clearly what's hidden from everyone else. But sometimes I wish I could be ignorant. Just like everyone else.
***
I have gotten into the habit of counting my steps while I walk. It has been a way for me to keep focused on something else so my mind doesn't wander, but it doesn't work all too well today.
I can't get the depressed look on Crista's face out of my head. Ever since I have been here, even in my darkest moments there was Crista. She was there to be my smile, my light. And when I didn't have my own, she shared her life with me. And now I don't know how to protect her. I don't know how to keep her safe from a woman who took everything from her.
Crista looks the way I feel. It jars me.
"She took it away."
"Lucy," I breathe, trying to catch my breath from surprise
"She took everything from us, and now she even has Crista."
Her eyes blare with a fierceness not even the Queen possesses. She stares ahead thinking.
"I won't let Eden take anyone else," I whisper into the quiet hoping she is still coherent enough to understand me.
"We must speak with Axil," she says through her teeth.
"I'm on my way there, right now."
We quicken our haste to his chambers but once we get there our knock echoes a little too much for the room to be occupied. Turning the knob, our suspicion becomes reality.
"He's not here," I say, stepping into his room.
I check behind every corner. Behind the velvet curtains, inside his wardrobe, even under his bed but Axil is nowhere to be found.
"Where could he— A thick white glaze fogs her eyes. She stands frozen in time. Her skin pales to the color of a pearl and her head slumps to one side.
"Lucy...?"
She doesn't respond or even blink. Snapping my finger in front of her I call her name again... nothing. I grab her shoulders and her skin feels as though she's been standing in the snow for hours.
"Lucy!" And just like that she comes back. Like ice shattering and melting away.
"I don't know where he is." She squints her eyes in confusion. Her voice is light as if nothing just happened.
"Ummm. What?" I say and I can't help the annoyance that comes out.
"What do you mean?" she asks innocently.
"Oh, I don't know. Maybe I'm a little freaked out by your eyes going all... no existent."
"You've never seen me when I see the future, have you?" she asks quite amused.
"It's creepy."
Rollering her eyes, she crawls back inside of her head.
"It's was very blurry, but I could hear... running water. There was... chatter?"
The pieces of the puzzle start to add up. "I know where he is."
She looks at me, her eyes fully back to blue. "I think it's best if I stay here. You go. He's hurting."
I nod as I step over the threshold. I should have known where he would go.
After John had been locked away the king allowed the gates for the royals be opened further. Axil loves his community. It makes him feel at home more than the gold encrust walls of the palace he grew up in ever could.
Running to the stables, I grab my horse and ride off with the wind running through my hair.
It's easy to escape and hide. It's easy to pretend to forget your problems for a moment and just feel peace. I know what the world crashing down feels like and I know where to hide.
***
"I knew I'd find you here."
The soft breeze kisses my face as it always does when we I enter the town, all except the time I came here with the queen. The king insisted upon my return here after that fateful night and I was welcomed with open arms as their hero.
Senwian, the Town of Peace.
It took a while to accept their warm smiles and kind words. The nightmare of seeing John as this uncontrollable monster still plagued my mind everywhere I looked. Nothing else registered. I remember some of the words said. Save... thank you... okay... princess... Princess? That one had brought my attention back to reality.
"Princess?" I speak. "I'm afraid not."
Tripping over the air in my lungs, it comes out only a whisper.
"Don't you see?" the woman grabs me by the arms lowering her brown eyes to mine. "The gods have sent us you. The divination. Our promise has come."
The woman is in as much tears as I was just a few moments ago. If only she knew my tear-stained cheeks weren't from happy tears.
I loved John. I still love John no matter what because he... he was all I had.
Not all I have, I remind myself. I have so much, so many people, so much to look forward to. I had been prepared in life to only live in the now, because the future is unknown and the past is better staying buried. But the memory of my friend was never meant to be buried. There was never an assignment he wasn't there for, nor a picture of us where he wasn't attached at my side. That was John.
Was... I remind myself again.
I never prepared myself to let go. I held onto everything I could for years. Words, moments, gifts, hugs, and I lived in it. I breathed in those memories like it was the last thing keeping me sane.
I looked John in the eyes that night, and chose to let go. I remember the flash in his eye. He was always better at knowing me, than I myself. He knew what I would do. He knew that I would kill him.
That was the part that killed me. For a moment when I threw him against the ground and he let a wail out into the night I felt no betrayal on his side. Only on mine.
I was hurting him. I was unleashing my own monster on him.
And then I saw them. The Lumbridge soldiers. In front of me was everything I had fought for. Everything I had learned to stand for, and unlike our childhood photos, John was not in this picture. He hadn't been for a while. Sneaking around behind my back waiting for me to slip up. He was my everything, and he showed me that I was nothing.
"The divination?" I ask, shaking myself out of my own head.
Cool slender fingers interlaced my own. The queen's rings cool my skin.
She didn't make me do it. The king had thought it best I make an appearance at Senwain as quickly as possible. The town's people are what make Lumbridge, Lumbridge. If the Palace is the heart, Senwain is the soul.
The queen speaks in her voice that soothingly commands. "I think it's time we get Zaria back to the palace. She needs all the rest she can get."
Hesitantly, the woman steps aside. Her scent still lingers in my nose. Rosemary and some other sweet spice. Cinnamon? Pumpkin?
"Yes, my queen." She bows, and I can feel a soft nudge at my side as she gently leads me out the door.
"Honey, are you alright," she asks melodically once we are alone outside.
I could never come up with the right word to describe the queen, all I can think about is the feeling she gives people. Warmth, care, protection, gentleness. The words never measure up.
"What is the divination?" I don't even remember asking, but I must have said it out loud because I look up to see the queen's troubled face.
"An old tale," she starts. but then quickly presses her lips together. "Some recite it in story and others a song."
"Can you sing it for me."
Guiding me into the carriage, she closes the door, and the horses take off. It is then that she starts. A beautiful song. A lullaby just like the one she had hummed for me at my door when I was little. Just like the one she had composed as a gift to Axil, Lucy, and Crista.
White lamb stained by coal
Hiding in the crowd.
No one knows inside her soul
A princess broken, now is whole
A shadow in the dark of night
No one ever saw
The maiden's truth, pure as ice
A heroine's delight
Come to save us, little lamb
Courage, love, and strength
Make our inner demons scram
Deliver us at length
Shoving the memory out of my mind I take in the bustle of the town, the normalcy. I dismount my horse and tie her to a nearby tree.
Stella had been gifted to me in my honor. The very night black steed from last fall when everything was... well, normal. Or, as normal as could be.
"What's running through your mind?" I sit next to him on the water fountain. This has kind of become our spot. The more we came here, I realized this was the first place I truly saw him. Not his suit, or slightly over gelled hair, or ring covered fingers. This is where I saw him for him.
"What do you want me to say?" he mutters.
"The truth. Always."
Another promise. One I'm lacking on, myself.
"I'm sure you don't want to hear that I fear the Kingdom is in danger by a threat we have no proof of who is from or what exactly it means. I'm sure you don't want to hear that I fear putting my sister and cousin at risk once again for something I should be able to control. And for sure, the is no way you want to hear that I hate how involved you are in this."
He takes a breath, slumping his shoulders.
"Actually, that's exactly what I wanted to hear."
He shakes his head, folding his hands and resting his elbows on his knees. Looking out at the park he sighs.
"As far as I know, the kingdom is still okay. If the threat truly is from Eden, she will want an audience and won't strike until she has one. Two, Lucy and Crista are you're family. They love you, and will stand by your side regardless of the repercussions."
As soon as I say it, I wish I hadn't. I wish he could have seen how shaken Crista really was by her nightmare.
I try again. "I don't believe Crista is intentionally trying to be cold. Her mother, I'm sure, just want to make sure her daughter is safe. If the queen could, she would do the same for you."
"But she can't. This is my duty, Zaria. My life. No one else should have to take on the burden of protecting the kingdom. I just thought she would be a little more cooperative. The two of them know more history about Eden than the whole kingdom combined. If Eden is the one who is planning to destroy Lumbridge, what point is there to keeping her secrets?"
I reach my arm over his shoulders. He stiffens immediately. "We'll figure it out."
"No." He scoots away. "Not we."
The rhythm of my heart stutters. "What?"
"I told you. I am not endangering you. Again, you are in the middle of the battle field. I will not let you take that role."
I open my mouth—
"I know you, Zaria. Don't even try to argue."
For once, I don't know what to speak because he's right. If there is ever a danger, I'd burn in the fires of hell forever if it meant that he was protected.
"When will the people know?" I change the subject looking around at all the civilians in the park. Couples holding hands, children jumping and splashing in puddles from last night's rain, friends re-uniting after a long trip, it's all too precious.
"Whenever they need to know. For now, there is no danger to them." He lifts his gaze up. A dark cloud covers the sun. "But I'm afraid it won't stay like that for long."
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