This was NOT written by me. I'm am sorry, I let Angela write something..... 
~Emma

Once upon a time in the far away land of Montreal, Canada, there lived a very sad man, his name was Mitch.

Why was Mitch sad? Well, he had a very legitimate reason.

He had lost something very near and dear to him a couple years ago. His very favorite lucky pencil! It was a very tragic and traumatizing loss for him, as you could probably perceive.

Every night Mitch would meow himself to sleep in a Quebec accent, feeling lonely and unloved. How could his favorite pencil leave him alone like this? All Mitch wanted was to be able to write things and feel cared for. He wanted to feel like his life was worth living. But without that pencil... everything seemed pointless.

---

Five years later...

One crisp December night as Mitch went to meow himself to sleep, he felt a presence coming from his bedroom window.

As he squints his eyes to look at the window, he sees a fabulous body standing there. It was singing.

"WHAT DOES THE FOX SAY

DIRENGIDINGYDING"

Its voice rushed through Mitch's ears like a whisper. A whisper that seemed calm and full of love.

"H-hello?" Mitch whispers quietly, seeming terrified. "Who are you?"

"I am Jesus, but my friends call me Jerome. I wanted to come and return your pencil. The tooth fairy told me about how much you've missed it over the last four years." The figure steps inside the window and smiles at Mitch, his big beautiful eyes glistening in the sunlight.

"Holy shit!" Mitch exclaims, grabbing the pencil from Jesus-Jerome's hand. "How the fuck can I ever repay you??"

Jesus- Jerome simply leans over to whisper in the shorter boys ear, breathing lightly on his beautiful, luscious locks. "Have buttsex with me.."

Mitch now looks equally terrified and excited. "Of course my lord."

THE END

Wow.... Just erm, I'm never deleting this..... so enjoy

I literally can't even right now, I'm definitely going to let Angela write more one shots, they're incredible