A/N- Vikklan's gonna take over my life I swear. I think I'm gonna write a NoochZahHutt one next ;-P

Warning- Suicidal things, and self harm :(

Word Count-

Vikk's P.O.V

One for being Gay

One for being a fuck up

One for Lachlan

And one for my messed up life

4 new cuts, to go along with the rest of them. Rinsing off the blood stung a little but I'm use to it. I plop myself down on the cold, hard tile of my bathroom floor and silently sob.

No one knows I self harm, and no one will ever. I've already got my death date, March 15th 2017. So a couple months from now I'll be in peace, no worries at all.

-An Hour later-

I think my whole body fell asleep, every thing feels numb, I like this feeling. But of course I had to get up, or else the Sidemen would worry.

People are fake, like plastic. We all lie, about lots of things, emotions, feelings, love interests, anything! I'm definitely one of those people, I put on a fake smile whenever I'm with people. They all think I'm fine, when in reality I'm dying, slowly but surely. I don't eat, I don't sleep I'm practically dead.

When I do eat, it's cause I get forced, they make me eat, so I stay alive. They love me, but not enough to realize. "Vikk time to eat" Josh yelled. I'm lucky to have them as friends, but I doubt they'll miss me when I'm dead. No one will.

Here we go again, I've mastered the art of faking everything. I happily skip downstairs to meet with the rest of them. Unfortunately it's Wednesday so I have to eat with them. Every Wednesday Josh makes us eat all together, so I can't not eat.

"Hey Vikk" Simon says cheerfully. I wish I could be as happy as him. "Sit we're just about to start eating" Josh says grabbing the rest of the food from the kitchen.

Eating in front of people makes me insecure. But I mean what doesn't?

None of the Sidemen know I'm gay, they only think I'm bisexual. But they wouldn't care if I was gay, cause two of them are together, Simon and Ethan. Yep Emon is real! If only Vikklan could be real, only in my dreams. "So Vikk" Tobi starts (In this they all live in one house :D) "Did you make up the guest room for Lachlan?" Fuckkkk how could I forget Lachlan was coming! I'm the one who invited him, I don't know why but I did!

"Oh, urm Yeah I did" I lie, lying is a big part of my life.

"Good cause his plane lands in like an hour, your gonna pick him up right?" Josh says

"Right, yeah will do" I answer, why am I so stupid?

The rest of the meal was carried on by small talk here and there. But not a lot, which I'm thankful for, I'd most likely say something awkward and cringe at it later tonight.

Once I finished eating I ran up to my room and hid any type of evidence I could find, I definitely don't need Lachlan seeing anything he shouldn't.

-Time Skip-

Finally it was time to pick up Lachlan. Great, let's just hope I don't screw this up.

-Time Skip againnnn! Sorry I don't feel like writing all this-

"Hey Vikky!" A strong Australian accent rings through my ears. I feel his presence near me, I swear he's gonna kill me while he's here. His large figure wraps around my smaller one, we fit perfectly, well to me anyway.

The body heat is transferred from his body to mine as he engages me into his arms. It feels so right to me, but he'll never feel the same.

"Hey Lachy, how was the flight?" I'm horrible at small talk, and he knows this. Lachlan knows basically everything about me, except a couple things.

"It was alright, very long though" He sounds tired, looks tired, and is acting tired. I don't blame him it's a long flight from Australia to England.

"Well come on, the sidemen are dying to see you. Plus I'm guessing your gonna want to sleep" I admit, maybe it won't be as hard to talk to him.

"Okay, lets go them Vikky" He flashes a cute smile, one of the many things that made me fall in love with him.

We finally arrive at the Sidemen house, it's about 10:00 pm, I have no doubt that the Sidemen are all still awake, our sleeping schedules are messed up.

"Do you think there awake?" Lachlan asks, rubbing his eyes. Let me add that he looked fucking adorable doing it.

"Oh I have no doubt, we have messed up sleeping schedules" I chuckle at the thought of sleep, I rarely ever sleep.

I quickly unlock the door and walk in "We're Back!" I yell, I may be small but I have a big voice.

No one answers, so I assume there all recording. "Lachlan you can-" I was cut off by a high pitched scream coming from the living room. Well I guess Harry lost "That's actually Bullshit you can't do that!" Someone else yelled

Slowly Lachlan and I walk into the living room to see all of the Sidemen minus me, sitting on the couch watching Harry and Simon play FIFA.

"What's the score?" Lachlan asks, leaning his body on the door frame.

"Lachlan? Omg when did you get here?" Josh Yells

"I literally just yelled We're back!" I exclaim, it's like no ones hears me!

"Oh sorry, well we're glad Vikklan could join us" Josh smirks, he kinda figured out I like Lachlan, but it's fine I trust Josh, sorta.

I flash a glance at Lachlan to see a similar smirk plastered on his face. Why? Just why? "Okay well Lachlan I'll show you to your room" I quickly cover up.

"Alright" He grabs his suitcase and follows me up to the guest room.

-Time Skip to when there done unpacking-

"Vikk can we talk? Outside?" Lachlan asks, scratching the back of his neck with one hand.

"Oh erm sure!" I smile, fake of course. I'm nervous as hell inside.

We silently make our way outside. "So um, what's up?" I ask, attempting to hide my nervous tone.

"Well I need to tell you something. Now please don't hate me when I say this, but I like you" Those words slowly replay in my mind. Lachlan Power, Lachlan fucking Power, likes me. That's insane.

"R-Really?" At least I managed to say something.

"Yeah I have for a while now, it's okay if you don't like me back" I can see the tears brimming in his eyes. I don't want him to cry!

"Lachlan I like you too, it's just.." Should I tell him?

"What Vikk? Please you can tell me anything. I want you to trust me" Lachlan says worry overtaking the beautiful colour of blue in his eyes.

"It's j-just that I....um" Fuck it I'm gonna tell him everything!

"Lachlan you can't like me! I'm imperfect! Everything about myself I hate. I don't eat, so I can be skinny enough. I don't sleep so I can have everything done for my viewers. I barley talk so I don't mess up everything! I cut everyday, I know my death date. And I love the feeling of pain! Lachlan you can't love me, I'm Broken" Lachlan is nothing but shocked, I just told him everything.

"Vikk I-" I just need to get away. So I attempt to run, but Lachlan grabs my wrist. One of the many places I hurt my self, so of course it fucking stung. "Lachlan let me go! I need to run away! You can't do anything about this, I'm Broken!" Why won't he just let me leave?!?!?!?

"No Vikk! I'm not letting you run away from your problems! We're gonna get through this, together. I love you so much, and it hurts to see you like this! I wan't to fix you, I want to help you. Please just let me!" There's tears running down his face, he really does like me.

"I don't care about your insecureites, your flaws or anything you hate. I love you just the way you are, scars or not, your perfect to me. All your scars the make you, who you are. Please Vikk I love you" He pleads. Okay he really does like me.

"Lachlan how are you gonna fix me?" I whisper

"Well this is a start" He says.

"Wait wha-" I'm cut off by a pair of lips meeting mine. He's right this is a start. It didn't take me long to kiss back. Our lips moving perfectly in synch.

"This is your road to recovery" Lachlan says after we pull away.

Maybe It wouldn't hurt to be fixed again.

A/N: DONE! Another one! Yesssss. Next Noochzahutt :D