not back yet, but I did this in google docs, and figure I'd just copy and paste it now since I'm using a library desktop xoxo

Carmen: Why is it so hard for you to believe me?!
Char: ...
Carmen: Oh, right. The lying.

4385 words

-

Char turned the camera on. "And here we have the most fearsome creature in the world; the king of demons, facing his natural enemy, the ducky sock." The camera zoomed out on King, tearing up said ducky sock. "Where are you now, ducky sock?!" He yelled.

Char lowered her phone. "So, why'd you call me here again?" She asked. "Oh yeah!" King stood up, scrambling on over to a board with a red sheet covering it. "Human Char,-" Get ready everyone, he put on his big demon voice. "You've been so obsessed with witchcraft that you haven't learned anything about my kind." Looks like he's still teaching void about demons, good for him. "Prepare yourself for-" He ripped off the sheet. "Demons 101!" He put on a cool, blue hat.

Alright, onto the lesson. "Demons like me are grim tricksters of the twilight, creatures of sulfur in bone." This sounds like the opening to a fantasy novel but to be fair this is a fantasy series.

The camera zoomed in. "And cute little paws!" Char cooed. King sighed. "And cute little paws. True." He went on. "We live only to create chaos and misery. Our only weaknesses are purified water and passive aggressive comments, sometimes.

"Oh, you guys are sensitive."

"Even demons have inner demons." He pulled away a paper, revealing another demon. One with a pink body and a spiky ass shell. "The most powerful demon of all is the Snaggleback! He is a-"

"Bad boy!" Insert stickers appearing all around the frame. Look, I'm only so good at helping you guys visualize things. You've already seen the episode, you know what's happening, so shut up and pretend to be shocked by the plot twists. Okay? Okay.

"Char, pay attention! This information could save your life someday!" King threw his arms out exasperatedly. "No, no, I am sooo paying attention! This is my paying attention face." She put her phone down and put on her paying attention face. "Mhm, mhm, mhm."

A clap of thunder and lightning happened outside.

"Uh-oh. Looks like it's gonna rain."

Char gasped happily. "I love the rain!" She stood up, going to walk outside. "Hey, wait!" King called. But, the blonde pushed open the door and stepped outside. "Ah, I always loved feeling the first few drops in my hair." She bent down in front of a pink flower. "I bet you do too, little buddy." A drop of fucking acid killed the flower.

"W h a t ?"

Mama Carmen has entered the scene. "Boiling rain(e)! Everybody inside now!" She called, running towards The Bird Living Quarters.

"Huh?" Char's arm was grabbed by Carmen as they ran inside. She tossed void inside, more accurately.

"Phew, that was close! But the important thing is you didn't get hurt."

We cut to Char's body in an unnatural position. "Yep-" Carmen's mug hit her on the head. "Not hurt."

-

King placed a bandaid onto Char's arm and a bandaid onto his snout/nose thing. "Look, now we're boo-boo buddies!" He put his hands up excitedly while the demigirl proceeded to die of cuteness. "Oh my gosh, I love you so much." Void said. She then turned her attention to Carmen, who was chilling under an orange force field. "A boiling rain(e)storm on the Boiling Isles. The weather here is so fun!"

"Yeah, we don't have weather." Carmen called back. "We have plagues, gorenadoes, shail hale, painbows!" She did little itty bitty jazz hands for that last one. "It's like a rainbow but looking at it turns you inside out!" Oh, homophobic rainbow. Or are you immune if you're gay? Brb, testing this theory.

Carmen continued. "So, until the boiling rains stop, no one is allowed outside tonight." King pulled his book out of his hat. "And if the rain doesn't get you, the Snaggleback will!" He opened the page that contained said Snaggleback. "They wander the rains, feeding on boiled tourists!"

"Well, whatever the case, this force field spell should protect the house from the boiling rains and made-up demons."

"Hoot!" Our lord has spoken. "Well hurry it up with that force field! The rain is getting closer to my precious stucco!"

"Yeah, yeah, I got it." And with the help of Ollie, Carmen encased The Owl House in an orange force field. "Wow." Char said. "Someday I'd like to be as cool as Carmen, The Owl Lady. Magical, sassy, surprisingly foxy for her age. Hey, why do they call you the Owl Lady anyways?" Ending with a question.

"Cause I'm so wise."

"Cause she coughs up rat bones."

"I think it's cause she gets distracted by shiny objects."

Alright, which one is it? Vote now on your phones or rental laptops.

"No, I don't!" In response to Carmen's denial, he pulled out a pink diamond pen and clicked it. "It sparkles and shines and shimmers and delights. I must have it for my n e s t." She lunged for it but was instead met with the yummy ground.

"You have a nest? I want a nest! Nest party!" Char really wanted they're damn nest party. She helped Carmen up and continued doing her little jig. "Ugh, that force field really took it out of me." The demiwoman groaned, placing a hand on her head. Here comes the literal fucking eight year old to bully her. "Uh-oh, moving a little slow. Age finally catching up to you?" Carmen combatted this by pulling King's hat over his eyes.

"AH! DARKNESS!"

"This is perfect!" Char said, bending down to King's level. "Since we'll be stuck in the house all night, Carmen won't have any excuse not to teach me a spell!" She ran inside. "But what about our lesson?" The demon held up his book. He wanted to share this with her. After all, why wouldn't he? "I was gonna let you scratch a demon's tummy! Me!" Now how in titan's name do you pass up an offer like that?

"Oh, uh, sorry, King. But, magic!" Oh, that's how.

So anyway, back to Carmen. She's changed, she's tired and she will now commence operation sleep on the couch. That is until a certain human peers over her. "Oh, Carmen, have I told you how rad your fang looks today?" Char asked. But Carmen knows the dirty tricks of children. "Whatever it is, no."

"Uh- and your hair is like, girl-"

"I'm not teaching you magic tonight, I'm sleepy." They grabbed a blanket and assumed the fetal position. "I'm a sleepy little owl." Now it was time for begging. "Please, Carmen, please! How am I supposed to earn my witch's staff if I don't know any spells?"

"No. Sleep."

Well, Char knew what void had to do now. Cue clicking.

"Sparkle thing."

They pushed the blanket off of them. "Oh, this?" Charlie teased. Carmen lunged for the pen, once again tasting the yummy floor. "Teach me one spell and I'll give you your sparkle thing." Char has stated her terms.

"I respect your cunning, but I also hate you for it." You gotta respect the hustle.

We cut to Carmen standing, holding Ollie, giving a wonderful lesson to our wonderful protagonist. "If you want a witch's staff like mine, don't make me repeat myself." Demigirly is struggling to stay awake out here. "Witch's staffs have power embedded into them."

"Gimme!"

"BUT before one is earned, every witch needs to know how to cast spells on their own. Now-" She tossed Ollie aside. "Tonight, I will show you how to create light." Carmen circled their finger and a ball of light went into the air, poofing before Char, who gasped with amazement.

"Yawn!" The child is back. "Who needs another boring spell lesson when you could be learning all the fun ways a demon could kill you? Look how teethy! Bite, bite!" Yeah, Charcoal was having none of it. "Be quiet, I need to focus."

"Now, humans think that magic is made out of thin air, but that's stupid." Mama Carmen says it how it is. I can respect that. "Everything comes from something. Let me ask you, kid; where do you think magic comes from?" Oh, quiz time. "Uh- from the heart?"

"Actually, you're right!"

The demigirl gasped with excitement.

"No, really." She pulled out a picture/scroll thing from her hair. "It comes from a sack of magic bile attached to a witch's heart."

"Oh, gross! Can I keep that?"

"No." They put it back in their hair. "Now, everything depends on the spell circle. The bigger the circle, the more powerful the spell." In demonstration, Carmen made a large spell circle which made an even bigger ball of light. In the poofed into itty bitty ones before poofing completely.

"But how can I, little ol' Char, do spells if I don't have a magic bile...sac?"

Carmen took a second to do a think. "You know, I'm not actually sure."

"What?!"

"I know witches did magic differently in the past but I never bothered to figure out how." She laughed, snorting as she did so. "Carmen!" Char yelled, exasperatedly. "Don't worry, you'll figure it out!" Carmen assured the demigirl, ruffling her probably already tangled hair. "Now-" They cracked they're back like Gwen Stacy. "I need to lie down."

"That's it?" Void asked. "Wait, I need to see you do the circle thingy again! I'll record it on my phone this time."

"Smile, you're on camera! One more spell won't kill you." Char urged, holding up her phone. Carmen groaned in "why the hell do I adopt random children I find, this shit is stressing me out". "Fine." She began the circle. "Now you see, the spell circle is really key because-" Carmen then died.

"Well, looks like one more spell killed Carmen."

"Aah!" Char screamed. "Oh my gosh! My obsession with spells knocked out Carmen! I'm a monster!" King walked over, clearly and totally upset over the 'death' of his adopted mother. "Bap!" He smacked her on the face, because what else would you do when you see an unconscious body? "Yep, she's out. Bap!" He did it again, laughing this time. "Just making sure."

"We should get help right?" Quickly, it stood up and ran over to the door, before their foot was grabbed by King. "Boiling rains! Remember?"

"No, let her try. It'll be funny."

"BUT WHAT IF CARMEN'S DEAD?!"

"Shiny things, big nest." Dead people are notoriously bad at talking, so I think she's good.

"Remember when her head got cut off last week?" King asked, turning towards the demigirl. "That demiwoman can survive anything. She's probably just tired from staying up all night chasing shrews and voles."

"Well, we can't just leave her on the floor."

So, they dragged up and into her nest. "Sorry for pushing you, Miss Carmen." Char apologized. "Please don't hurt me when you wake up."

"Should I bap her again?" King asked, readying his bapping hand. "Just let her rest, you little goober." She gave him some headpats. "Come on, let's go downstairs." She then walked off. "Bap!" He gave Carmen one final bap, before running off, giggling like the eight year old he is.

We are now in the oh so wondrous living room. King's making a drawing of a very toothy demon. Watch out, Da Vinci. Meanwhile, Char's getting frustrated over not having a weird sac attached to her heart. "Ugh! This is all she does!" Void groans, circling her finger round and round like that insane clown posse song. "Why you gotta be so cryptic, Owl Lady?" She unpaused the video. Nothing came of it.

King hit her phone with his notepad. "Hey, you know what's really cryptish? Let me tell you about the most spine chilling demon of all! Smoochy Pie the Sweetie Baby! He's...he's a lot more threatening than his name implies."

"Not now, King. I want to figure out this spell." Char waved him off. He sadly sat down on a pile of books. "But if I don't have a magic sac, what's the point?" The blonde went on. "I'll just be twirling my fingers around unmagically forever!"

"Why do you want to learn magic so bad, anyway?" King finally asked. "I was a nobody back home." Char admitted. "But becoming a witch is my chance to be someone. Do you know what it's like to have nobody take you seriously?"

Oh yes, yes he did. He sighed. "If I help you learn that spell, could we finish our lesson?" He asked. "Oh, yes, yes! You can teach me about demons all week if you help me learn this spell." Void agreed. "Well," King began. "She said witches used to do magic differently, so there has to be a way, right? And I have a theory!" He showed Char his little chart drawing thingamajig. "Everyday I notice Carmen sneaking drinks of these elixirs, see? Then she always gets a boost of energy, see? I think that's where she gets her powers! And I know where to get some."

"Really?"

"Ja."

Picking him up and spinning him around, Char exclaimed "Thank you so much! You're a prince!"

"King. I'm King."

"Right."

The two went up to Carmen's room and pushed open the door. "Now where could it be?" King looked around to see it right on Carmen's bedside table. A giddy lil smile on his face, he walked over to it, stepping in a bear trap, as one typically does. "Ha! Nice try!" He said. "Nah, my heart wasn't in it." Bear Trap #420 said as they walked away. Anyway, King then proceeded to climb onto the table. "An elixir a day." He read from the tag. "Cryptic." As he jumped off the table, he took a second to think about this. That maybe he shouldn't take it.

"Nah." He decided, running off with it.

"Got it!" He handed it to Char. "Wow. I can't believe I'm about to learn magic. Real magic. This is historic." Char tipped it to her lips but then BOOM, thunder and lightning and this dumb bitch dropped it.

"Golden elixir, gone! This is awful!"

"Who even needs a light spell when we have tons of lamps?" As if on cue, the lights then went out. "Ugh! Hooty controls the house lights, he probably just fell asleep."

"Hoot, hoot!" Hooty cried out.

"Hooty!" Char called, running towards him, King jumping onto void's back.

"Hoot! Oh, hoot!"

What the demon-human duo saw was a large, silhouetted beast. It had attacked Hooty. The beast then growled and ran off. "Hooty!" Char ran over to him. "Are you in there?" She poked him time and time again but got no response. "Whatever did this escaped into the rain. What could survive that?"

"Oh my gosh! The Snaggleback! It feeds during the rains! It must have stumbled across our house and seen us inside." King said and as he finished that, a piercing screech was heard as the beast broke in through a window.

"This is terrifying! So, why do you look so happy?" Char asked a very giddy King. "Because this could be a lesson!" He replied. "This would be a great way for you to see a wild demon up close and personal."

"You want to go towards those creepy sounds? No way!"

"What if Carmen gets eaten? She's upstairs and defenseless because you knocked her out!" Oh, great strategy, King. Make Char feel guilty and ruin her self-esteem. We love that. Anyway, insert our protagonists getting ready to fight a demon. As for weapons, Char grabbed a hockey stick and King grabbed everyone's favorite, Francois.

The two creeped upstairs and down the hall. They saw Carmen's bedroom doors ajar. They looked inside to see the room completely trashed and containing no Carmen.

"Oh my gosh, Carmen!"

"She got Snagglebacked!"

Tossing void's stick aside, Char peered into her nest. "Carmen?" She picked up a pillow. "No, slash marks! King! You're the demon expert, I need your help!"

"I'll go get my demon book!" He then scampered off, soon coming back. "Wait wait- first or second edition?" He gasped when he noticed Char was nowhere to be found. "Char?! The Snaggleback got her!" Behind him, he heard the beast go past him. "You craven beast! Give me back my boo-boo buddy!" He yelled, running down the hall after it.

He rounded the corner, seeing a door shut. Outside lay a singular rainbow vans slip on. "Char.." He approached the show and lifted it up. Putting on his Fierce Look™, he went inside the room. He saw a silhouette, hiding behind clothes. "There's nowhere for you to run!" King shouted, pulled back a jacket, to see trembling "Snaggleback?" He shook his head in some slight shock. "Wow, you are a lot shorter in person."

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I just needed a place to hide from the rains." He explained. "Then why did you break down our door and take Char? That's not cool man! Bad Snaggleback!" King reprimanded, using Char's show as a pointer. "I-I-I didn't do any of that stuff. I snuck in through a window just now." Snaggleback said.

"Huh? Well, then what-" King was cut off by the beast reaching through the ceiling and grabbing Snaggleback. "Oh no, a twist!" He yelled, as he was pulled into hell I guess. Behind him, the beast opened the door. Scared whimpers came from King. The beast spit out the shell. The beast then began walking towards King.

"Oh my- stay back!" He shouted. "Hey, hey! I am the king of demons, okay? And as such, I demand you to barf my friends back up!" In response, the beast shrieked, raised it's claws and tried to fucking skewer King, with him thankfully dodging it. He took off down the hall, as did the beast.

And on a serious note: THE ANIMATION IN THIS SCENE, HOLY SHIT, I LOVE IT SO MUCH I JUST AAHH IT IS TERRIFYING BUT AMAZING!!!! Now back to our regularly scheduled programming. Prepare for more of writer Char praising the animation to come in the future.

A hand grabbed King as he ran, pulling him into Carmen's room. The beast marched by. "Char?" King looked up, relieved to see void was okay. "King! Oh, I'm so glad you're safe!" She said, setting him down. "Where did you go?" King asked. "I was checking on Carmen and she was gone and then you were gone. I also tripped and lost my shoe-" She noticed King holding it. "Oh hey, you found it!" They grabbed it, placing it over their, for some reason, bare footsie. No sock. Why?

"I- uh- what's that?" He peeled off a tag that had been stuck to the bottom of Char's foot right before she put her shoe on. He gasped and pulled the elixir tag out of his collar, placing it in tune with the Char foot tag.

"An elixir a day keeps the curse at bay!"

"Curse? Wait, what are you trying to say?" Char asked, concern growing in her voice. "I was wrong the whole time! That's no Snaggleback, that creature is-" King's panicked yelled was cut off as the beast came crashing through, now in light. A brown beast, almost resembling that of an owl. And it's face, it reminded Char of-

"Carmen?!"

Carmen came stomping towards them, going up on its hind legs, raising its claws. Char, of course, screamed, her phone falling out of her pocket and snapping a picture. Thank fucking titan her flash was on. The beast quickly covered its eyes, screaming bloody murder. Char grabbed her phone and she grabbed King and she took off.

The beast chased after them, but the duo managed to elude it. When the beast came sniffing around their hiding spot, Char threw a can and the beast ran off. "Oh, man." Char said, standing up. "Did you see their eyes? They were like rah! What happened to her?"

"Don't you see? The elixir I gave you doesn't give Carmen powers! It prevents her from turning into that thing! She's turned into a nightmare and it's all my fault!" King exclaimed. "I'm so sorry, Char. I just wanted you to be into demons like you're into magic. I don't have many friends and no one even pays that much attention to me. I thought maybe if I taught you, finally someone would care about creatures like me."

Every last bit of what he said, Char related to. She understood just where he was coming from. "Well, let's finish the lesson." She said. "Huh?" King looked up.

"Carmen's turned into some kind of demon and we need to save her. So who knows more about demons than the best teacher in the world?"

He pointed at himself, in question.

She nodded, smiling.

He took the pink diamond pen from their hand. Giggling, he jumped into void's arms for a hug.

He placed some leaves on the ground to draw on. "Let's see. She was bigger, covered in feathers and had giant black eyes. Demons with black eyes are usually sensitive to light." King saw Char's phone in her pocket. "That's it! Light! Charlie, use your human wonder rectangle."

"I can't. My cameras all blasted." She explained, pulling out her phone and showing it's now cracked screen. "Then...what about that light spell?" He asked. "Ugh! You saw me! I can't draw circles in the air! I'm not like Carmen." She lifted her phone, playing the video. But this time, something came from it.

"The spell circle is really key-" The video began glitching out and it stopped, to reveal a symbol in the middle. "There's a pattern in the spell circle!" Char gasped. "What, where?" King said, poking his head over to see. Char plucked a leaf and the pen and said "It looks like this." She traced over the symbol and tapped it.

The leaf turned into a tiny ball of light.

Char cupped it in her hands, bringing it up. "It's beautiful." She said. "Oh my gosh, I just did magic! I just did magic! I just did magic!"

"Shhhh!" King urged. "We're not gonna stop anything with something that small!"

The owl beast shrieked and Char jumped down, covering the tiny light ball. "What do we do now?" King asked. 

"I think I know how to get Carmen back. Will you help me, boo-boo buddy?" Char asked, holding out her hand for a fist bump. "Eh, I'm kinda over that nickname. But okay." He fistbumped her.

We now cut to Carmen/the owl beast slinking around the house of owl.

King clicked the pen, which got the owl beast's attention. "Oh, what do we have here? It's just so dang shiny. Oh my, oh dear." He teased. With a shriek, the beast lunged for him and King quickly took off down the hall. He evaded it by going around a corner and it slipped on some books. Char dropped a towel on the literal demon.

"I'm sorry, Carmen, but it's for your own good!" Void finished their glyph and then pressed on it, releasing a large amount of light into the room. Beast Carmen once again screamed bloody fucking murder.

-

Carmen's eyes shot open. She sat, the straw falling out of their mouth. When they noticed they were still quite feathery, they continued to drink until they were completely 100% not feathery. "What happened?" She asked, looking around. "Oh, I have the worst headache. And my mouth tastes like roadkill." Leaning over the edge of her nest, she vomited up the Snaggleback.

"I'm just gonna lie here for a minute."

Picking up the mostly empty elixir, Carmen thought aloud "Oh, I was looking for that."

"Actually, we found an extra one in your closet." King said, walking over. "King? King!" She did the angry mom point. "You stole my elixir? I oughta break every bone in your-"

"Shh! Over there." He pointed to Char in the corner, who was repeatedly drawing light glyphs. A large smile spread across her face everytime one went up into the air.

"Wow...how is she doing that?"

"I don't know, but they did it all on their own." King turned around. "Hey, I, uh, kinda messed up a bunch of things back there and I just wanted to say I'm sorry." Carmen is in her Mom Mode™. "Well, you better be! I got a whole list of disgusting chores with your name on it." She leaned back. "But, it's not entirely your fault. I haven't been completely honest with you guys." Get ready for a bit of backstory, y'all.

"When I was younger, I was cursed. I don't exactly know how it happened. All I know is that if I don't take my elixir, well, that's why people call me The Owl Lady." She said. "No one likes having a curse, but if you take the right steps, it's manageable."

"Whoa. So, are you okay?" Char asked. "There's nothing for you to worry about." Carmen said, sitting upright on her nest. "It's all under control. And as long as no one steals my elixir- KING -then I'm fine. But, hey, look at this!" She gestured all around the room. "A human doing magic. Good on you, kid!"

Looking down at King, she said "I had some encouragement from a great teacher."

"Oh, you."

"Hey, hey!" It is everyone's favorite owl, Hooty. "Is anyone there? Hello? Hoot! I'm on the floor! It's cold!"

"That voice! That horrific voice!" King shouted, stomping off. "We'll take care of him." The demigirl said with a smile. "You stay in bed." Bending down to pick up the Snaggleback, void said "Come on, ya goopy fella. We'll set you free now."

"Ow, ow, ow, I think my tail was digested."

Watching void walk off, Carmen sighed happily, leaning back into her nest. She shut her eyes. And then she was standing in front of a door.

"No, not this memory again." They watched as the door opened and an unrecognizable silhouette appeared. "You! You're the one who cursed me, aren't you? Who are you?! Who are you?!" They reached out their hand and then woke up with a gasp. She looked around. She was still in her room. She was fine. Everything was fine.

-

Char finished placing the band-aids on Hooty. "Welcome to the boo-boo buddy club, Hooty!"

"Finally, I get to be apart of something!"

Now we have Snaggleback describing what the owl beast was like. "And then, she had teeth in her stomach! Teeth in her stomach! Can you believe that?"

"Oh, yeah! This will make a great edition to my demon book." He turned his notepad around to show the drawing he had done. "That book is filled with so many interesting things. Like this!" He opened to the page about him. "I'm one of the strongest demons on the Boiling isles, huh?"

"Yeah, I'm gonna have to edit that."

"Oh."