I'm gonna start all of these with generated incorrect quotes now

Saph: I mean. Koda's just standing there now.
Saph: Waiting for me, I guess.
Saph: But it's okay, I think they've pretty much settled down.
Char: Settled down?
Saph: Well, they only stabbed me once.

also please comment- I love reading the comments. wether it's a joke or just a simple "I like this" please comment, gays

4742 words

-

"Well, Char, did you ever in your life think you would see something as breathtaking as this?" Carmen gestured to the giant trash slug, lightly shaking Char's shoulders. "I...don't like this." Char said, shaking her head. But Carmen ignored her, walking forward. "Yes, it doesn't get much more inspiring than the trash slug." They began. "It makes a home, a life, from what other people have thrown by the wayside." She grabbed one of those chicken dog toys and threw it aside. "Until, blam! It gets blasted by a wave one day and croaks from all the salt. And then we get to sell the stuff it ate." 

Okay sure, some great teacher-student bonding activities, why not?

Carmen held out a pickax in front of Char who said "Please don't make me." 

"Aw come on, Char." King said, going over unfurl his towel. "It's not everyday you get to go to the dump and pick apart a garbage carcass."

"Ah, nuts to you both."

"So, Carmen-" Char cut herself off for a second Carmen swung the pickax. "What if we tried some new lessons for my apprenticeship? Like-" She cut herself off another second as Carmen swung the pickax again. "-Read ancient scrolls or mix together potions or-"

"Ugh, that sounds like a bunch of magic school stuff." The demiwoman groaned. "Wait, is there a magic school here?" The demigirl asked. "Like, winding towers, cute uniforms, dark plots that threaten your life kind of magic school?"

"Mm-hmm." Carmen confirmed. "What's worse in they threaten to make you learn magic the 'proper way'. But magic isn't proper! It's wild and unpredictable! And that's why it's so beautiful. I mean, I didn't finish school and look at me. Who wouldn't envy where I am now?"

Seeing Char's mildy upset expression and realizing that maybe she wasn't the best example of a drop-out, Carmen thought of something to say. "Uh...hey, here's a lesson! A great witch is resourceful, like this!" She walked over, grabbing Char's wrist and dipping it in this green, slimy puddle thing. Char pulled something out.

"Oh, hey, a greasy, slime ball." She said in a kind of 'WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING????' kind of voice. "Use your slime ball wisely, young witch." Mama Carmen hath hereby blessed the slime ball. "Back at it! We'll hit the stink nodes first!" She said, grabbing her pickax and pickaxing away at it.

"Actually, if it's okay, I think I'll head home and look at pictures of animals that are still alive." She walked over to King before she lift, to give the mandatory tummy scratches. "Love you, King. You little beach peach."

"More for me then!"

-

"If magic's all about digging for slime balls, maybe I don't have the stomach for it." Void sighed, placing it in her pocket.

"You can do it! You can!"

Char looked around. "Mysterious voice of encouragement?" She walked forward and poked through the bushes, seeing a shorter person with tan skin and long dark brown hair, sitting atop a rock. "No, little witch!"

"You can do it!" She said, standing up. "Even if you get a bad grade, it's not a reflection of you as witch. And my parents are right! There are better opportunities on this track! Now get to school!" When striking their triumphant pose, they stepped on a flower.

"Oh no! Oh, little friend, I'm sorry!" They bent down and held their hand over the flower, regrowing it. Char gasped because fuckin wow, magic! 

It was then a cart rolled forward and girl with tan skin and long wavy, dark brown hair sat atop a cauldron. Yep, you guessed it, everyone's favorite witch bitch is here (bitch but like affectionately).

"Saph!" The girl said. "Wow. You're so unnoticeable I almost rolled into ya."

The flower faltered and the witch, Char assumed to be Saph, stood up. "Hi, Bee." 

"Uh, shouldn't you get to class early to prepare your-" Bee was cut off as Saph's cauldron fell over and purple goo fell all over the ground. "Oh, Saph." Bee shook her head, while doing the "are they...y'know" hand. "You don't have anything to show, do you?

"Witch drama!" Char thought aloud. She'd always liked drama, because who the hell doesn't?

Blushing with embarrassment, Saph pulled her hood over her head. "This is why people call you Half-a-Witch Saph." Some rumbling was heard from Bee's cauldron. "Oh! Looks like someone wants to say something to you!" She pulled the lid off the cauldron and instructed "Abomination, rise." And so a weird, purple, goo monster looking thing rose up from the cauldron. It leaned forward. "You're a star." It said slowly and monotone as it drew a star on Saph's forehead.

"Aw, it's like mine!" Bee tapped her finger on her star which read 'top student'. "But much smaller and meaningless. As top student, it's my duty to tell you to keep at it! Even you could get a passing grade someday." She draped an arm over Saph's shoulders. "Abomination, cower." And so the abomination did just that. She walked over, placing the lid back on top of the cauldron. "See you in class, superstar." She said as she rolled it away.

Char stuck her tongue out at the girl as she did so.

"'Oh, see you in class, superstar'!" Saph mocked, getting angry, as one naturally would. "I hate when she does that!" She wiped away the star. "I hate making abominations! I hate getting bad grades! Ugh, I can't stand this anymore!" She shut their eyes tightly and when they opened them, they were a bright green. Like, her iris and her pupil were completely green. The whites were fine.

Char gasped as thorny vines leapt from the the ground and lashed out, one grabbing them by the ankle. Said vine tossed her up in the air and she landed on the ground, miraculously unharmed. And then, the witch turned to look at her.

-

"Not a bad haul. That oviduct was loaded." Carmen exclaimed, happily, patting the little sack she had full of eggs. "Oh, lose apprentice, gain garbage eggs. Fair trade." King rolled his eyes. 

"Pff, I didn't lose anything."

"If you don't teach Char right, you will." He stood up on top of the microwave(?) he had been sitting on. "And that's when I came in. Make her my apprentice." Carmen couldn't help but laugh. "Ha! And what would you teach? How to get stuck in the arm of a sweater?"

"Hey! That only happened once!" He went on. "I'd teach them about demons, how to identify them, talk to them, raise an army with them AND TEAR APART THE WORLD!"

"After they tear you out of the sweater arm, right?"

"You think you're so smart!" He had his hands on his hips. "Well, why don't we make a little bet where I can prove that I'd make a better teacher?"

"Okay." Carmen agreed, pulling everyone's favorite book out of her hair. King & Carmen's one sided wagers. "I'm obligated to remind you that I only use our bets to utterly humiliate you." She flipped through the pages. "And that you've never won."

"I like those odds." King decreed.

"So hows this.." Carmen lifted a trash slug egg. "Teach this trash slug to be your loyal soldier in one day. Prove that you can be a better teacher than and Charlie is all yours. But, if you don't, I change your name from King to Mr.Wiggles."

Now it was King's turn. "Well, when you lose, you'll have to..." Give him a minute, he's thinking. "Wear a shame hat and sleep in a shack and never come into the Owl House again! Ha!"

"Deal."

Anyway, they signed the book.

-

Alright, now black to the blonde and brunette. The thorns were still raging, the witch's eyes were still greener and brighter than your future.

"Oh, no, no, no, no, no!" Saph said, worriedly, shooing the vines away. "I'm so sorry!" They got down on the ground next to the human. "It's okay, the thorns only went through a few layers of skin." Char assured them.

But then Saph got up close and personal. "So..circly." She thought aloud and with an 'eep!' sound Char's hands flew to cover her ears. Saph gasped. "You're human! This is astounding!" She grabbed void's face. "A human on the Boiling Isles! What are you doing here?? How did you get here?" But their excitement was cut short by the ringing of a bell and Saph let go. "I'm sorry, I can't stay. I have to go disappoint my teacher. It was nice meeting you, human."

"Wait!" She called. "I'm Char and you're Saph right? What you did with that flower and that plant was just- wow!"

"Thanks, but I'm not even supposed to be doing plant magic." She shrugged. "My parents put me in the abomination track at school."

Now it was Char's turn to get up close and personal. It ran towards Saph, squeezing her shoulders. "Like, magic school?" She asked and Saph nodded. "That's so cool! I'm so jealous! I have a teacher, but her lessons are a bit..." The blonde thought for a moment, trying to find the right words. "... untraditional. I bet she wouldn't even let me enroll. But, I wish I could spend just one day there."

"I wish I could get a passing grade for once. The people would stop calling me Half-a-Witch Saph." She kicked the abomination goop and it groaned.

"Hey, wait." Char has had a stroke of genius, everyone. "I know how we can both get what we want." She dug her hands in the goop and smacked it onto herself. "Make me your abomination! I'll get you a good grade and you can get me into magic school! It's fiendishly clever!" She quirked one eyebrow, which is something writer Char actually can't do but shh don't tell noone.

"What?!" Look everyone, Saph's asking the real questions: like what the actual fuck?

"I saw that girl's thing, it's just chunks of stuff that talks weird! I'm chunks of stuff and I talk weird!"

Very true, writer Char does talk like a white boy.

"That's true." Saph giggled. "Okay, it's a deal, Char." They held out their hand for a little shakey shake. "This is a great plan." Void decided, shakey shaking Saph's hand. It got stuck together because, in Saph's words, "Oops, abomination goop."

-

Now, they were in front of everyone's favorite school to ever school. "Welcome, to Hexside School of Magic and Demonics." Saph introduced cause we need exposition somehow, people. "Remember to stay hidden, okay?" 

Char squealed, giddy with excitement.

Saph rolled their cauldron through the halls and stopped at her locker, tickling it. And all writer Char has to say is: imagine still using lockers lmao. After a few seconds, everyone's favorite witch boy bumped into her. He was a shorter boy with slightly tan skin and fluffy, brown hair.

"Saph, you would not believe humans."

"Humans? Pssh, I haven't seen any! W h a t?" Smooth as sandpaper, Saph. Smooth as sandpaper. "Did you know that humans nail barbed wire to their kid's teeth?" He turned the magazine towards her. "But why? Maybe to make them magnetic."

"Actually, it's for storing treats."

He raised an eyebrow, eyeing the cauldron the voice had come from. Saph sighed. "Okay, Dakoda, I'm gonna tell you something. But you have to be cool."

"I can be shpool! I mean cool."

"Okay. Abomination, rise!"

And so the blonde rose from the cauldron. "Ta-da! I'm an abomination!" She boasted. 10/10 A++ acting skills. "Char, that's now how abominations act." Saph sighed again. 

Meanwhile, Dakoda stared in awe. "No. No, it couldn't be!" He flicked his ears. "He's the president of the Human Appreciation Society." Saph informed. "Most witches wouldn't be able to recognize a human right away, but Dakoda is an expert."

"WHERE ARE YOUR GILLS?!" See kids, these are the questions you should be asking.

"I knew a Dakoda back in the human world. We called him Koda." Char said. Fun fact: writer Char actually does know a Dakota irl but he sucks.

"Koda? Nickname? A human nickname? Koda? Call me it! Wow. Koda. This is the best day of my life." Yeah, and it's gonna lead to some pretty damn traumatizing ones, so prepare yourself, bestie.

Cue the literal screaming of the bell. 

"I've got to get to spelling class! See you guys at lunch!" And with that, Koda ran off, new and improved with his wonderful human nickname. Now Saph turned towards the blonde. "Alright, into the darkness you go." They instructed. Char hissed, but nonetheless obeyed.

-

"Oh, who's a good Prince Jr? Who's a good guy?" King held a treat above the slug's head. "Hey, Mr.Wiggles! You're not gonna teach him anything by doing that." Carmen called. "It's called positive reinforcement, Carmen, and it works wonders." Prince Jr sucked up the treat and grew just a lil' bit.

"Haha! See? Now watch this!" Pointing a treat in the direction of Carmen, the demon king gave some instructions. "Prince Jr! Attack Carmen! Knock over he drink! Mess up her hair!"

"Oh no, please stop." Carmen said with the utmost amount of fear in her voice.

"Well, I haven't seen your student in forever." He pointed out. "For all we know, she's not even loyal to you anymore." Prince Jr snuck another treat.

"Ha, ha, ha, you wish!" But then she did a think. "But yeah..where are they?"

-

We now cut to the abomination classroom. Insert a bunch of abominations being rejected by this short, gremlin, discount Kikimora lookin ass.

"The biggest abominations are all of you!" He said. Since writer Char can't spell his name and void can't be bothered, we're just gonna refer to him as Professor H from here on out. Okay? Okay. He continued. "If the next abomination is a failure, everyone get's extra homework for a month!"

All around, the students grumbled with complaints.

"And the next one to come up is-"

"Excuse me, sir!" Bee stood up, hand raised high in the hair. "But I am ready to present my abomination. Rise!" And the abomination rose, doing a little ballet stance as it did. Writer Char does not remember the name and she does not feel like googling it.

Professor H laughed. "I always save the best for last, Bee. You'll have to wait your turn. How about...Saph."

The grumbling of the students continued because it was Half-a-Witch Saph. She was shit at this. But Char poked her head up, ready to give moral support. "Don't listen to them, Saph!" They said. "We can do this."

We are now at the little stage thing at the front of the classroom. "Uh.." Our little witch chick may or may not have been having second thoughts, we don't know, girl. "Abomination, rise!" And so, punching the lid off somehow with skeleton hands, Char flew out of the cauldron with a "Ta-da!"

The classroom gasped. 

"Abomination, bow."

Char bowed.

"Very impressive." Professor H praised. "But does it speak?" "Uuuuh- I may be your abomination, but you're my a-mom-ination." Char didn't mean to assume genders but she panicked. The class laughed and released some 'aws'. All the while, Bee had a look of shock canvassed across her face.

Professor H was laughing at that a-mom-ination joke. You can tell this guys a dad. "A-mom-ination! Splendid wordplay." He walked towards the 'abomination' and painted an A+ on it's forehead. As the witch and human exchanged tiny lil smiles, Bee crossed her arms. As we can observe here, the witch bitch is upsetti sphaghetti.

The bell screamed again, letting the students know to get the fuck out and go to their next class. "Wonderful work today, Saph! Looks like we have a new top student." Professor H said and behind him, Bee stopped dead in her tracks. He plucked the badge and brought it over to Saph, while Bee reached out for it.

"Uh...thank you, sir."

"Hey." Bee spawned behind Saph. "Last time I saw you, your abomination was mush.  What did you do?"

"I, uh, took your pep talk to heart, Bee."

"I bet you did. I've got my eye on you, Half-a-Witch." She walked backwards because all the cool lesbians are doing it. "That badge is mine." Ooooh, looks like someone's basing all their self-worth on academic validation because they know they're never going to get any sort of validation at home and now they're taking it out on oth- wait, do I here Little Miss Perfect playing? No, Gary, turn that shit off.

"Uh-oh. I think Bee is onto us."

-

"Have you seen Char?" Carmen asked Hooty. Of course, after she slammed him into the house. "I heard her tiny mouse feet walking close by. Or that might've been some mice. Anyway, someone started moving in that direction." He was nodded his head in a direction.

"Are you trying to point or-"

"LOOK AT THE WEATHER VANE!"

So, she looked at the weather vane, seeing the direction it was pointing. "But the only thing that way is..." A panic overtook her. "Oh no! Oh no, no, no!"

She ran and eventually, pressed her face up against a window. There were little children reciting runes. See, this is what schools should actually be teaching.

"No. Blind obedience!"

She pressed her face up against another window where people were doing math. "No. Pointless busywork!"

They pressed they're face up against another window, where Char was helping Saph with her work. "No! Why?! School!"

Okay does this school not have security? Are these students blind and deaf? How the hell did nobody notice her? Like- I'm not even trying to be funny, how the hell?

-

Setting: cafeteria with our favorite bitches in alphabetical order: Char, Koda and Saph.

"Hey, do humans eat PB&Js?" Koda asked, offering his own to Char. Fun fact: writer Char doesn't like PB&Js. They can have peanut butter, no problem, they just don't like the jam. But this is Luz Char, so I guess she likes it.

"Oh my gosh, I haven't eaten real food in so long, please give me some."

So he gave half of it it to her and she disappeared into the darkness. Wait- how the hell can she breath in there?

"I don't know, Koda, if Bee saw that-"

Bee jumped onto the table because, once again, all the cool lesbians are doing it. "I saw that! Abominations don't eat!" She yelled, going up to the cauldron and grabbing Char by her shirt collar, shaking her. Char made sure to stay still. "I know you're in there! You can't hide from me! What are you? Who are you?! I WANT ANSWERS!"

Friendly reminder, kids; that is what love looks like.

"Bee Jewell!"

"Huh?"

Professor H walked forward. "I suspected a twinge of jealousy, but this...this is just sad."

"No! But...I...look at it!"

Char's head lolled back a bit but otherwise, void didn't move.

"Report to Principle Bump's office."

"But-"

"Now!"

So, letting out some angry groans, Bee ran off.

Saph and Char exchanged a look.

-

"Roll over! Yes, yes! Heel! Yes, yes!" King threw treats at the slug. Prince Jr was a big, big, BIG boy now.

"So, did you find your runaway student?" He asked as Carmen appeared. "By your expression, I can tell Char has gone and found herself someplace else to learn. Which means I have won!" He threw all the treats into the air and of course Prince Jr ate them.

"Yes, great, you won." Carmen groaned. "You have a giant soldier thing and I have nothing. Congrats!"

"Oh, Carmen, don't say that." He pulled out a shame hat from titan-knows-where. "At least you have this!" He shoved it in their face, cackling like a mad scientist. "Ugh!" But she snapped it up, because a Mendoza always upholds their end of the deal.

Wait, no, wrong family-

She stomped off, King still laughing at her. "I am so funny!" He boasted turning around to see his...creation, of sorts. "Ah, well, Prince Jr, training complete! Go forth! Make the world tremble at your feet...or worm stubs."

Prince Jr did not move.

"Go forth?"

Still not budging.

"Ah, right." He grabbed the treat box, but alas, it was empty.

"Weh!"

-

"Whoo! I'm a sweaty little abomination!" Char said, as she climbed out from the cauldron. "But now we don't have to worry about Bee. High five!" She held out her hand and Saph and Koda looked at one another, confusedly.

"Smack my hand. It's a human thing." It informed the two, whilst she demonstrated.

Koda was the first to do it. "Oh. Oh my. Oh man, what a rush!" He repeated the action multiple times because high fives are cool, man. 

Bee pushed the door open, everyone's favorite principle behind her. "Good afternoon, students." He said as he walked in. "Principal Bump!" Saph said, just the slightest tinge of panic setting in. Char went limp onto the ground.

Bump walked forward, placing a hand on the 'abomination's' chin. "Abomination, rise." He instructed and void rose.

"Abomination, lie."

And now it was panicking. "Uh- viral fame is a worth pursuit. Your cat would never eat you if it got the chance. Chemtrails are real-"

"Oh, no, Abomination. How strange of it to get the command wrong. I meant lie down." He pointed to a desk and Char did as he said.

"So very lifelike." He commented, grabbing Saph's shoulder and walked towards the demigirl. "When Ms.Jewell told me about your abomination, I had to come by, see what she's made of."

"Oh, I-I have her list of ingredients right here-" Saph reached into her pocket, digging for the list.

"No, we were hoping for a closer look." He unsheathed his squiggly dagger. He handed it to the witchling. "Saph, I'll allow you the first cut." He said and they accepted it, putting on their best "I totally, 100%, DIDN'T sneak a human into school today" smile.

"You can't just cut open a human, can you?" Xe asked, leaning toward Char and void shook it's head. Bump grabbed her shoulder. "Saph, go ahead and make the first incision." He instructed. 

"Wait, Principal Bump!" Koda called and all the heads turned to him. "Uh- high five!" He smacked down the other abomination cauldrons, creating more abominations. "Run!" He yelled at two out of the three lesbians in the room. They did as he said.

"They're getting away!" The third lesbian pointed at them. "No, the intruder won't get far." Bump drew a circle on the wall, pressing it.

The blonde and brunette stopped for a breather. "This is all my fault, Saph." Char said. "I just wanted to see what a real magic school was like."

"Well, how do you like it?"

"It's lovely, actually."

The two giggled with each other. "Okay, we should get out of here before-" Saph was cut off as red magic encased them in. "-Bump seals us in."

-

We now cut back to the house of owl.

"Help me, help me, help me!" King pushed open the door to The Owl Shed and ran towards Carmen, jumping into her arms.

There was a banging on the door.

"Trouble with your student?" They asked. "Yes, yes!" He cried. More banging on the door. Not in that way, you filthy animal. "Are you sure you need my help? Maybe he only wants more of your brilliant lessons." She wondered.

Prince Jr broke through the door, grabbing King by his ankles and pulling him out. 

"Please help me! You can call me Mr.Wiggles!"

Well, Carmen couldn't resist that. So she went up to Prince Jr and using Ollie, bonked him on the head, causing him to release King. He ran up to her quickly, wrapping his arms around her legs.

"Okay, Mr.Wiggles, here's what we're gonna do." She said as he climbed onto their shoulders.

-

Now, we cut back to everyone's favorite lesbian duo, running down the halls. They stopped as they come face to face with another red wall. Behind them, was Bump, controlling a group of abominations. The continued running, stopping at a column.

"Oh, this is awful! I don't know what to do!" Saph cried, sliding down said column. "Bee's right. I'm just Half-a-Witch Saph."

"You're Full-Witch Saph! And you're great!" The blonde assured them, getting down to her level. "And someone once told me that great witches are resourceful." Void dug through her pocket, pulling out a bunch of shit. "That's it!" The brunette said, grabbing the slime ball Char had picked up earlier. "You mean that greasy slime ball?" Char asked, the slightest bit confused.

"Char, it's a seed! Thank goodness you had it on you!"

"Yeah, thank goodness someone told me to hold on it."

Saph placed the seed in xyr lap and made a green circle over it. "Please...grow!" The seed did as she said, vines now going into the air and all around the school, destroying abominations in the process. Even as Bump was pushed to the ceiling of the school, he said "Remarkable."

And goddamn, it was quite remarkable. Writer Char would describe it if they had enough brain power.

The security system faltered. "There's the exit!" Char yelled and void and Saph made a run for it. "Not so fast!" Bee jumped out in front of them, throwing off a vine. "I'm not letting you get away so easily. I. Want. My. Badge! Abominations, seize!"

The two continued running and were blocked by an abomination. Using her vines, Saph restrained it. 

"Get out of here!" She instructed the human because my Cherantina, she had to get out of there. "No, I'm not leaving you!" The human said. "I may get detention, but you'll get dissected! So go!" And so using her vines, Saph got Char the fuck out of there.

"Saph!" Char called, right as the doors shut. Sounds familiar, doesn't it? That's because you cried over this scene except it wasn't Willow's name Luz was calling. Anywhosits-

"I can't save you right now, but I know someone who can!" So, she ran towards everyone's favorite bird house.

-

At said bird house, King and Carmen were still fighting against Prince Jr. Careful, Carmen, it spits acid. Basically, all Carmen was really doing was bonking Prince Jr with Ollie. "Pour the salt, now!" She instructed King, who was atop the roof, with a barrel of salt.

"Baby boy!"

Prince Jr rawred. (I am so sorry)

"I have no son! Eat salt!"

So, he pushed the barrel over and Prince Jr at salt. He went back to being teensy weensy. "Yes! I did it! I'm amazing!" He jumped around and fell off the roof, thankfully being caught by Mama Carmen. He laughed just a lil bit. "You helped too. You are a good teacher."

"I wish Char thought that too."

"Carmennnnnnn!"

The demigirl ran towards the demon and witch, wrapping the two in a hug. "Hey, hey, hey, hey, what is this?" Carmen asked. "Ugh, I never understand when you do this!"

"Your lesson worked! Keeping junk in my pocket saved my life!" Friendly reminder: better to have it and not need it to need it and not have it. Anyway, Char continued. "But wait! My new friends! They're in danger!"

"Charrrrr!"

It was Saph (and Koda). The duo ran towards Charcoal, wrapping their arms around her.

"Seriously, what is that?" Carmen asked. 

Standing out in front of void, Saph said "You won't believe it, Char! Everything is perfect now!"

"It's true, I don't believe it!"

"Principal Bump was so impressed by my plant work he's switching me to the plant magic track! Look!" She backed up, did a little spin and her outfit changed from purple to green. "Yes!" Char threw her arms around her again, did a little spin and threw her fists in the air. Imagine being this excited over something.

"Oh! What about Bee?" She asked.

Koda to the informational rescue. "Last we saw, she was asking Bump if today could count as extra credit."

"Well I can't wait to see you guys the next time I sneak in!"

Koda back to the informational rescue. "Uh- about that, you're kinda, sorta, banned." He pulled out a poster that had her face on it and read BANNED in big read letters at the bottom.

"That's my girl!" We all know who says this one.

"But, we could come here!" Saph said, grabbing the blondes shoulder. "And teach you what we've learned."

"Aw, that would be nice, but.." She looked towards Carmen. "I have a pretty great teacher already." And Carmen could feel the slightest tinge of pride in her. "Yeah, that's right! Char is my student!" They snatched up the poster. "Back off, academy twerps." She held out the paper, an almost proud expression. "Ah, baby's first wanted poster. Good job, kid. Looks like I taught you something after all." The demiwoman gave the demigirl some hadpats.

"Uh, you high five with your hands, not your head."

So what did we learn today, kids? If she tries to dissect you, marry her.