Golden: I hate you.
Char: Well, according to this picture I drew of us holding hands, that is untrue.

I would just like to say y'all best be grateful for this shit because I had to write that opening scene with the palisman and Luz having no idea what she wants and I always skip past that scene but that scene gives me so much second hand embarrassment I physically cannot so please know I take both cash and credit

also yeah Char lives in Virginia but still in Gravesfield - I considered making it my OC town of Mary's Field bc that town has its own witchy lore but yeah no still gonna be Gravesfield

3947 words

-

A hearth lit up. The coven heads walked down a hall, taking their places surrounding the hearth. Belos sat on his throne, to his left, Kikimora, and to his right, Golden.

"The Day of Unity approaches, where we'll celebrate the purification of magic, under the coven system. Just as the Titan intended." Kikimora spoke. "As heads of the nine covens, we celebrate your efforts to complete this plan. For this, you have earned a glimpse of the reward that awaits."

"Step forward." Belos urged and each coven head placed their respective coven symbol in holders surrounding the hearth, which made it burn brighter, revealing the Titan, doing...listen, man, I don't know. Causing the apocalypse I guess? Belos continued. "The larger your covens grow, the more power we have to unite our realms, where the worthy shall inherit a utopia free of wild magic-" And now the old man is in pain because curse.

Golden went over to help him up and the two began to walk away, Kikimora following them, before Golden held out a hand. "No, stay here. I can handle this alone." Zey said and the two walked away, Kikimora staring daggers into the demigirl's back.

The two found themselves in the throne room, where Belos' curse overtook him. He began punching the wall, as Golden looked away, and he soon cooled down. Golden walked forward, holding a hamster palisman, which Belos quickly grabbed, breaking it and as such, sniffing it up. Afterwards, it turned to dust and Belos held out his hand. "I need more."

"That was the last from our reserves." She explained. "The palistrom wood has been overharvested." Belos made an angry noise, beginning to walk away, as she continued to call out. "Uncle, let me help! We can make more palismen! Actually, I read about this technique harnessing wild magic to-" Belos looked behind him at her and zey quickly quieted herself. "Sorry."

The Emperor then walked over, placing a hand on the guard's shoulder. "Please, be careful." He said, his voice sounding concerned. "Our family is gone because of wild magic. I can't let the same happen to you. Find me more palismen. I can depend on you, right?"

Outside, Kikimora had been listening in. She quickly walked away to totally not do something sinister I'm sure.

-

Char stared into Cheddar's cage. "Oh, little echo mouse. You ate the diary that can get me home. Can't you cough up a teeny bit?" She pleaded before King popped up. "Just squeeze it out!" He squeezed the head off his teddy bear and scampered away.

"Maybe I just need to be patient?" Void pressed their face against the glass. "Please tell me your secrets."

Carmen has appeared. "Hey, knucklehead, you're gonna be late for school." Instead of going to school, Char instead opted to press her face further into the glass. "Alright, I guess you won't be getting a magic staff with your classmates."

And suddenly Charles is ready to go to school. "Come on, Carmen, we gotta fly!"

"There we go."

-

To Side of Hex we go, where Char's class is standing in front of a palisman cage enclosure looking thing. "Hey, Saph, shouldn't Bee be here?" The blonde asked the brunette after the other days i n c i d e n t. "Oh, sorry, Char. I heard she stayed home today." Saph said.

"Oh. That actually makes sense."

"Good tidings on this momentous day." Bump said like the old man he is as he and Carmen walked over. "You're all about to receive your witches' staff, and, more importantly, meet your palisman. This is a crucial step in your magical development. Palismen are lifelong partners. They can become both your good friends and a powerful tool. In my case-" Bump snapped his fingers and the little devilly thing on top of his head took its place on its staff, revealing Bump's luscious locks. "Frewin here helps me see."

"Now, traditionally, young witches carve their staffs from the brand of an old palistrom tree." Carmen explained. "But, sadly, palistrom trees are becoming more rare." Gee, I wonder why. "And those that remain are guarded covetously." Gee, I wonder why.

"That's why I've teamed up with Bumpipoo-"

"Never call me that."

"To bring you-"

"Palisman adoption day!" The Bat Queen flew in and a bunch of palisman ran out towards the students, a bunch of them awwing at them because cute animals, come on now.

"Thanks for the favor, BQ. Here's your whistle back." Carmen held out the whistle but BQ denied, saying that this was a great idea. Towards, the edge a red cardinal was trying to get out, which caught Char's eye. Bump placed the cardinal back in.

"Aw, little rascal." The human smiled.

Alright, Bat Queen time. "These little ones have not had homes in many years. They want to feel a connection. Kneel and state your deepest wish and your like-minded partner will find you."

"Ugh, I want my own palisman!" Boscha whined because I guess we have to keep giving her screen time. "Not some trashy hand me down."

"Your loss!" Saph exclaimed, running towards the palismen. "I want to be strong and wise to protect everyone I love. And, if anyone gets in my way, they'll feel the sharp sting of defeat!"

"Tender yet tenacious. Venus gives her support."

A blue butterfly came flying out. She fluttered around Saph for a second before becoming a staff in the witch's hands. "Oh my gosh! I'm gonna take such good care of you!" The crowd awwed a bit more before Boscha pushed Saph out of the way. "I wanna play professional Grudgby!"

Bat Queen laughed. "A competitive spirit. Maya will be thrilled." A weird crab looking thing is now Boscha's palisman.

Viney's turn. "I want to open my own veterinary clinic for mythical pets!" She has a lion palisman now.

Koda's turn. "Mada wants me to become a master illusionist, but that's easy." Okay, go off, I guess. "So, instead, I'll become an ambassador to the Human Realm. And reestablish contact with the giraffes!" A ferret, Bandit, came running towards him.

"I just wanna make it to graduation." Sloth palisman.

The students with their palismans talk amongst each other and here comes the scene I really don't wanna write but fuckin we need it for character development so here we go I guess. I'm just gonna speed this up though.

"I want to be a witch!" Live Palisman Reaction. In which I mean, nobody fucking moved. "Uh- probably just takes a little longer because I'm human, right?"

No. Palisman bond through emotions, you dumb blonde bitch. You got no conviction, babygal.

"That's impossible. I'm Char, I'm chock-full of conviction."

Okay, blah, blah, questions, what do you wanna do with your magic, we're skipping this, you can watch the episode for yourself because I hate this scene with a burning fucking passion. Nothing against it, just the second hand embarrassment, I can't-

-

Charlie is having a slight crisis. "I stayed here because I wanted to learn magic, right?" They paced back and forth in its room. "I want to be a witch like Carmen and Azura! But what does that even mean?! And I've read stories like this." She went up to Cheddar's cage. "The main character always has to return home! And, what? Did I expect to be a witch back in Virginia?" I mean, we got Grace Sherwood. Anyway, she pressed her face against Cheddar's cage and he did this weird head shaky motion and the demigirl leaned back onto her sleeping bag. "Yeah, I wouldn't want to be my palisman either."

Outside, King and Carmen had been listening in. They smiled at each and went off to go do very legal mother-son activities, I'm sure.

Char heard some rustling in her bag and the cardinal, who we're just gonna start referring to as Flapjack now, came out, looking around the room. "It's you! Did you come here for me?" After some more of the bird pecking at void's floorboards, they concluded "No. Of course not." It lifted him up. "Come one, little dude. I'll take you back to your nest." She grabbed her witch's wool cape/cloak thing and back to Hexside they went, where there was a protective casing around the palisman house/cage thing. Flapjack pushed against it and it vanished.

"Neat. Palisman powers." Char opened the little door and Flapjack and void climbed in. The palisman seemed to perk up at the sight of the demigirl. "Alright, I'm not leaving here until I figure out what my future is and one of you becomes my palisman!" Alright, big think time. "What if...I use my powers to become a powerful magician in the Human Realm? Nah, I'm horrible at card tricks. What if..." She picked up Flapjack. "I stay on the Boiling Isles and become a rugged bounty hunter? Nah, I'm too lovable. Oh, if I go back..."

Lotta time has passed and Charlie is still going over possible futures. "What if...I open a magic pet shop, but it's password protected." She turned towards Flapjack. "The password is 'you're a little angel.'" Haha. Yeah...

Anyway, there was suddenly some rumbling and tumbling.

Char pushed open the door. "Hey, we're a little busy in here-" They were fucking flying off the ground. She directed her attention to the airship before turning to the palismen. "I think we're being kidnapped. Don't worry, I'll figure this out." It drew a plant glyph and swung up onto the ship with it, seeing none other than the Golden Guard at the wheel.

"Ugh, her again." Well, Charlie has leaf so therefore she can make glyph. And she made fire glyph which she pressed onto Golden's back, subsequently sending her flying.

"She'll be fine." Void looked around at the controls. "Okay, how do I land this thing?"

"Oh, you just pull that cord above your head."

"Oh, thank-" Realization.

"Hi." Golden's back, babies. Anyway, using magic staff, zey tied Char up, sending her to the back of the ship.

"Hey!"

"Good to see you too, Human."

"Why are you stealing palismen, Golden Guard?"

"Frankly-" She zoomed on over. "You should be more concerned about yourself. For the crime of..rocketing me off my own ship, you'll be locked in the dingiest cell of the Conformatorium for the rest of your sad little life."

Demigirlboss scoff. "Whatever, I already broke out of there, like, twice.

"Then we'll just zap you to dust and throw you into the sea. That better?"

Angy Charlie noise.

"Good." Golden walked back over to the wheel and set they're staff down. As Char struggled against her restraints, she noticed the ground was drawable on and yep, an ideas happening. "Say, how did you get back on the ship so fast?" She asked as she began drawing a glyph.

"Staff."

"Cool." She stepped on the ice glyph, directing it towards the staff, which was then sent flying. "No!" The guard reached out a hand for it before turning, presumably angrily, towards the human. "Human, it'll take more than than to thwart my mission."

Did someone say hand dragon? Because, yeah, we got a hand dragon now and said hand dragon destroyed the ship and it went hurtling towards the ground.

When Char came too, Flapjack was pecking at Char's ropes. "Little rascal?" The ropes came off."Oh, thank you. Oof, my head." The cardinal tweeted and the blonde looked over to see the Golden Guard's staff. Void went over to it, picking it up, hearing Golden groaning and she noticed her body. They looked over when they heard another voice.

"Kikimora, ma'am. We've found the palisman. They seem rattled, but unharmed." The Coven captain spook. "Very good, Captain. Return to the city and prepare them for travel."

"Is it true, ma'am? Is the Golden Guard really..."

Kikimora held up the mask. "This is all that remains. Such a horrible accident. Probably caused by the incompetent pilot."

"I'll...alert the castle. Scouts, to Latissa!"

In conclusion, because I want to get to the funny bits, hand dragon is Kikimora's and she wants our Golden girl dead. Char looked back at Golden and Flapjack tweeted something at her. "Don't worry, I won't leave her." The blonde placed Flapjack on her shoulder before walking of to the Guard.

Void peered down at their face. Long, slightly wavy brunette hair, a tooth gap, a decently sized scar on her left cheek and the typical witch pointy ears, the right of which was missing some. "This is the Golden Guard? It looks like she could be a student at Hexside." She leaned in towards the guard before slapping her. "Wake up!"

She woke up, already panicked. "What- you!" Void quickly put a hand over zeir mouth. "Shhh!" They urged. "Listen, you are a bad person and I do not like you, buuut, Kikimora's trying to kill you and unfortunately I'm too much of a nice person to let that happen." She pulled her hand away. "Are you licking my hand? I'm trying to help you!" They proceeded to rub the spit back onto them.

"Why should I believe you?" Golden shouted, pushing Char away.

"Because-" Hand dragon. Hand dragon ate Golden's uniform but the two demigirls got away, taking of through the city and Charlie tried to start a conversation.

"Whew, man, Kikimora must hate you." Void glanced around the city, at the various people doing various things. "Woah. I haven't been outside Bonesborough that much. Latissa is so cool!" Golden walked away. "Wait! Where are you going?" No response. "Hey, man, I just saved your life. The least you could do is tell me your name."

Angy Golden noise. Anyway, the two walked up to a police precint, where Golden approached the scouts. "Scouts, direct me to your communications room. I need to contact the castle immediately." They showed them their coven sigil.

"Cute. I didn't know kids your age were still into temporary tattoos."

"Yeah, show us your badge number."

"I am your superior and I can prove it." Zey turned towards Char. "Staff."

Void hid it behind their back, much to Goldie's dismay.

"Isn't it a little late for you kids to be outside?"

"Yeah, go back home before we call your parents."

Golden angrily turned towards Char, who began running, quickly causing Golden to give chase. Char tried to be respectful of the citizens meanwhile Goldie here just gay up committed assault and battery. Hooray for police brutality I guess.

Anyway, more running, until Char uses an ice glyph to get voidself up onto a building. They stared down at the brunette on the ground. "Come on, Golden Guard. Don't you know any, like, levitation spells?" In response to that, zey looked away like a goddamn emo.

"Are you powerless without this?"

They then began to walk away but then they turned around, doing some parkour shit and jumping up onto the roof, so Charlie shot some magic at them. "Back up- or- or else!"

"Or else what?" Golden here is a master at psychological manipulation. "You gonna blast me to bits? Nah, you're too nice for that. Fly away? Uh-uh, you know you can't do that either. Because then you'll be leaving behind your precious palismen." She crossed her arms and void lowered the staff. "You don't tend to think things through, do you, human?"

Hand dragon, Princess, flew overhead and landed in front of Kikimora. Golden placed a hand on their chin. "So, Kikimora was after my catch." Char got an idea. "Seems like neither of us want her to win right now. So, lets work together to take back those palismen."

"Then what? You'll think I'll just let you walk away with them?"

"Maybe you won't have a choice! I'm more formidable than you think." The blonde attempted to twirl the staff, failed miserably, nearly dropped but don't worry guys she caught it!

The brunette glared at her. "I doubt that. But, fine, a truce till then."

"Truce!" Void held her hand for a handshake and zey was about to shake it before it pulled it away, proclaiming "Too slow!" And ran off laughing like a lil' goblin. Golden begrudgingly followed. "Let's get this over with."

-

Okay, Plan Time™. Golden grabbed a bag of Plan Stuff™ and jumped up onto the roof, where Char was drawing two large intersecting glyphs on the walls. "Huh. I've never seen magic like this. What will it do?" Zey asked.

"Well, we don't wanna spoke Kikimora's steed, because it might drop the nest and hurt the palismen. So, using these fire and ice spells, I can command the glyphs to produce a thick mist!" Void explained. "And the sleeping nettles?" Golden pulled them out of their bag, handing it to their fellow demigirl.

"They're essential. Combined with the magic mist, it'll create-"

"A sleep inducing smoke! Forcing Kikimora to land."

Char looked over at Golden, almost a little surprised.

"Oh, uh, I- I read a similar spell in the book From Bones To Earth."

"A Study Of Wild Magic! Carmen once pick-pocketed the guy who wrote it."

Golden turned her attention back to the glyphs. "I've never seen glyphs before, but it seems very similar to the elemental magic practiced in the savage ages."

"Really?"

"Actually, not very many people know this, but-" She stopped herself. "No. No, no, no, no. This stuff is restricted for a reason. You should forget about it before you're hurt."

"Uh-huh-" Dumb Gay Bitch Nodding. "Other than Sasha, I've never spoken to anyone inside the Emperor's Coven. What made you want to join?"

Golden sighed, leaning against the wall. "You were right before." Tragic backstory time. "I'm a powerless witch. A lot of my ancestors were. I never thought I'd have a future in a world like this. But, then, Belos found me and gave me a staff with artificial magic. Said the titan had big plans for me."

"At least you have your future figured out now."

"At least you can figure out your own."

Two sides to every single coin.

Flapjack tweeted, landing on Golden's shoulder. "Hey!" She waved him away and he began pecking at her boot and she lightly nudged him. "Stop, get away from me!"

"He's just being friendly." Char smiled.

"Ah, I don't care! These things are made from wild magic, it's dangerous."

"And does he seem dangerous to you?"

Cute birdie who I am sure will definitely totally not die.

Anyway, Princess and Kikimora are starting to fly away with the palismen. "Mask on." The blonde instructed and they did just that and ran over to the glyphs. "Once they're surrounded by the smoke, we'll need to stay close to see where they land."

"Mhm."

Char held out the staff and Golden turned to it. "Are you sure?" Zey asked before void said "Just take it!" Shoved it in her hands and pressed on the glyphs, hence creating a sleep inducing smoke. Char hopped onto Golden's staff and the two flew off, following closely behind their foes.

"I think it's working." The brunette demigirl said. Soon enough, Kikimora did land, falling to the ground like a dumb little child.

Char lowered its mask. "The palisman!" They ran over to them, opening their little house thing I guess. "Hello, babies. Aw, you guys look so cold and scared." She draped her cloak around them. "Here, make sure you share. Now, stay in here, okay? We'll get you home safe and-"

Char heard a lil' noise and turned around to see Golden pointing an illuminated staff at them. "Right. I didn't think this through. Again." She shut the little house and stood up. "So, you're really gonna do this? You're just gonna hand all these innocent little guys over to Belos? I know what he does with them." She sighed. "I thought you might've been a good guy, but I guess that was just wishful thinking. You're not my friend. You're just the Golden Guard."

The two stared at one another for a second.

The brunette's face softened. She lowered her mask. "My name is Magnolia."

Char gasped softly.

Then, Magnolia got hit in the forehead with magic. Basically, the little gremlin ain't asleep.

"I can't tell who's there but I know I got you!" More shooty shoot magic and now Magnolia is beating the shit of a short person because that's what we should all be doing, but at some point Kikimora did manage to burn a little bit of zey're hair off so small victories I guess.

Char climbed up onto Princess. "Good...thingy. The Boiling Isles will never stop surprising me." She blew the whistle and then flew away with the palismen. The blonde and brunette looked at one another before both turned away.

-

Back at Hexside, the palisman were chilling and all were accounted for and also Princess is there when Flapjack relayed to BQ that he found someone and she implored him to go to her.

I'm sure this will end without any tears whatsoever.

-

Char collasped onto her sleep cocoon, looking at the photo of her and Juliette. "Everyone got one except me, mom." They sighed. "Maybe I wasn't meant to be here." Her window open and she looked up to see "Carmen!"

"I thought I'd find you here!"

"WE COULD'VE USED THE DOORS!" Doors are for losers.

"What'd you get into?" In response, Carmen threw a piece of wood into Char's lap, who was now very confused. "Uh, how...thoughtful?"

"It's palistrom wood, you ding dong!" Carmen said and then King said "Now you can make your own palisman!"

"But- but how? Isn't this super rare?"

"Let's just say that the Bonesborough Garden Club-"

"Was robbed! By us!"

Thumbs up.

"I don't know what to say." This is very true, I never know how to respond to anything ever.

Carmen placed a hand on void's shoulder. "No pressure. But whenever you know what you want, we'll start carving." The blonde looked down at the wood. "If it's okay, I'd like to take some time to think. It's hard to picture my future without seeing my mom."

"Eh, there's no rush. Just know that whatever you need from us, we gotcha." Finger guns.

"Thanks."

-

Magnolia was knelt in front of Belos.

"So, you return with nothing." The Emperor spoke. "Is this the thanks I get for taking you in?"

"Of course not!" Magnolia's head perked up. "And if told me how wild magic did this to you, I might be able to find a-" The demigirl was swiftly cut off when sharpened goop thing slid by her, slicing a few hair strands. He quickly retracted it after a second.

"My apologies. I spoke out of turn. It won't happen again." 

"These outbursts are painful and so is watching you fail." Oh my god, actually shut the fuck up. "I know you can do better, Magnolia."

She then left the throne room and there was Kikimora. "Golden Guard?! You're alive!" Fuck. "I mean- I heard about the crash in Latissa."

"Luckily, some travelers picked me up out of the wreckage, so I'm actually doing great." Smug Lesbian Look. "Looks like you had a rough night, though." And then zey walked off and, after seeing her burnt bits of her, Kikimora's new goal in life is to kill a child.

Magnolia is now in their room, being emo. "I can help. If I just knew a little more." She heard tweeting and went over to her window, seeing Flapjack. "Palisman!" She lifted him up squeezing him just a lil' too tightly, so he made a tweet of discomfort and she apologized and let him go.

The demigirl placed a hand on the cardinal's head. "You shouldn't be here. It'd be bad if Belos saw you." Instead of leaving, Flapjack staffed himself. "Oh, I was not expecting that."