Carmen: Why would I flip my shit about that?
Sasha: Because you flip your shit about everything.
Carmen: Well, will you look at this. Here is my shit, and yet it remains unflipped. Just sitting there on the skillet, getting burned on one side. It's a miracle.

I suck at writing fight scenes but I swear I will do my absolute best to do the Lilith v Eda fight justice

also yes I did replace a line here with a line from the tomatasauce's owl house abridged because that line is so much better

4199 words

-

The banners blew in the wind. The wild witches coughed and just felt and looked overall depressed as they were strolled along in a cage by scouts. Sasha looked down upon them from the balcony before heading inside, stopping before a stained glass window of Emperor Belos.

"I haven't forgotten what you've promised me. I will bring you my sister, Emperor Belos."

"Then why the delay?"

"Kikimora!" Sasha turned around to face the little gremlin creature. "The Day of Unity is fast approaching and other teams have bound rogue witches to covens and yet the Owl Lady still roams free." Kikimora placed a hand on her chin. "Are you protecting her?"

"Rest assured, Kiki, I have everything under control." The brunette snapped her fingers, summoning a group of scouts. "Today we capture Carmen. Once and for all."

-

The sun was rising. Hooty was still sleeping. Sasha pushed up her mask. "Good. That infernal house demon is still asleep." She gestured to the scouts, who were ready to murder a house. "Surround the house." She commanded.

"Sleepwalking, sleepwalking, sleephooting!" Hooty smelled blood and shall now proceed to feast upon the living. He dove into the ground and came out next to Sasha. "Hiya, Sasha! Peek-a-hoot!" He proceeded to bludgeon Sasha into a tree. Scouts began charging for Hooty. "Sorry, Carmen doesn't like trespassers, but I'm always happy to make new friends." He attacked the scouts like a good house demon. Also, I guess he possessed one. "Oh, look at me! I'm a person now! Wobbly, wobbly! Oh, blackout! Hoot, hoot! Bye, friend!" He tossed the scout aside. "Ooh, I feel like dancing! Hoot!"

Sasha reached for Hugo's staff and aimed some blue magic at Hooty.

"I did it! Oh, hey, look, it's a bug!"

The magic missed Hooty and a tree fell on Sasha. Get tree'd, Sashy.

"Aw, just an old leaf. Well, that's good too!" He ate said old leaf. He then rammed into another scout.

Meanwhile, Mama Carmen is watching through binoculars. "Hooty. Ah, you're a thorn in my side." A coven scout rammed into the window. "But, you always dig your way into my heart." Scout was pulled away and Char has now entered the fray. "Ooh, magic 'sghetti!" She was about to stick her hand in the blue noodles before Carmen magically smacked her hand with a spoon.

"Hey, that 'sghetti is witches wool." They stuck their hand in the magic noodles. "It repels powerful spells. Every witch worth their salt has a cloak made of this stuff."

"I'm worth salt. I want cloak!" All girls want is magic cloak. Oh, and sword. Sword and magic cloak.

"Easy, kid." Mama Carmen pulled away the cauldron. "With the Emperor's goons at my doorstep, I need this for protection. They have really stepped up their attacks lately." She looked out the window where Hooty was probably still physically assaulting coven scouts.

"I think I finally understand why the Emperor wants you so badly. He's go the hots for you, doesn't he?"

Bisexual finger guns. "But no. Emperor Belos wants to control all wild magic through his coven system." The coven system that totes is not suspicious, you guys, I promise. "He ordered my capture years ago because I refused to fall in line."

"And he won't stop until he's got you." Char looked down at the ground as Carmen walked over. "Aw, don't sound so worried. I'm a master escape artist. The only thing that can slow me down is my curse and that hasn't bothered me for weeks!" The curse bothered her then and there, meaning she got all featherified. "Uh oh." The Owl Beast once again reared it's ugly head.

"King!"

King has now also entered the fray. "Weh? Weh!" 

"Get the elixir! Now!"

-

Carmen gasped for air. For a hot second there, it felt like she was suffocating but she was all good now. The seemingly barren wasteland around them then became that of their childhood bedroom. A teenaged Carmen was still sleeping on her bed, soundly. The adult Carmen sighed. She'd been through this before, she'd go through it again. She knew what was about to happen next.

The door creaked open and there was once again that wavering, unshapely silhouette with large, circular, pure white eyes. "You know, I'm getting a little tired of this game, so why don't you just show me your face?" And suddenly she was in her room, hand on Char's face, having just drunken an elixir.

"Whew! Thanks for this." She looked around at all the other elixirs. "And those."

"Hey, your gem. It's still dark!" Char pointed. Covering it with a scarf, Carmen said "Uh, no it isn't! You're nuts!" Demigaslight, demigatekeep, demigirlboss.

"The curse has been getting worse and you've been hiding it!"

"You're right." Carmen relented. "It's taking more elixir to turn me back and more magic to keep the curse from rearing it's feathery head."

"What happens if you use your magic up? Do you..do you die?" Good Witch Azura did not prepare Char for the death of her found mother.

"No! Jeebz, you're morbid. I just kinda, sorta, turn into the Owl Beast forever. Ah, it's a fate much worse than death if you think about it." Snort.

"No. No, I can't let that happen. I'll do something about it. I'll find a cure and then-" Carmen placed a hand on void's shoulder. "Hey, don't worry." They assured them. "I just have to limit my magic use a little." She put a lil' smile on Char's face. "Ah, there's the Charlie I know!"

Sad Charlie.

"Ugh. Go on, do the parallel arm thing."

Char did the paralell arm thing.

"King demands huggies too!" King hugged onto Carmen's leg. 

Carmen pushed Char off of her. "Have a goody!"

"Get rest. Drink lots of water. Stay out of the sun. Lift with your knees not your-" Carmen slammed the door in the child's face. "Ah, what a good kid. So considerate. She deserves something nice." They lifted up the cauldron. "And I think I know what."

Char's now going on a walk in the woods because all the cool lesbians are doing it. She's also being depressed while going on a walk in the woods because all the cool lesbians are doing it. "Poor Carmen. Enemies everywhere, even her own body. I wish I could help her." Char poked her head through the bushes to see Hooty having a tea party with some probably half dead scouts.

"The roughhousing was fun. But I like this part of our playdates even better."

"Ugh." Void then began running because it wanted to be as far away from that tea party as possible.

Meanwhile, Sasha pushed her way up through a mound and opened her hand mirror phone thing. She was of course talking to Kikimora. "The Emperor demands your presence in the throne room. And there's a bird on your head." Sasha looked up to see said bird go "Oooh, you in trouble!" Shut up, bird.

-

Char walked up to Saph and Koda. "Char, are you ready for the field trip of a lifetime to the one, the only, Emperor's Castle!" Koda held up a pamphlet. "Right. I was gonna actually stay behind. I don't like the way they treat Carmen." Luz Char sticks to her loyalties. Good for her.

"But you're gonna miss out on the cool stuff!" Koda shoved the pamphlet in the demigirl's face.

"Like what?"

"Like ancient relics." Saph popped into the convo and snatched Koda's pamphlet. "Look! It's the Plant Covens Green Thumb Gauntlet! It can grow whatever you imagine." There was a picture of muscular trees.

Skeptical Char noises.

"And the Oracle Sphere! It shows you which path will help you become your best self." Thank you, Koda, for the exposition. Char directed her attention to another relic. "The Healing Hat. Made from the magic of the savage ages. It is said to cure the deadliest diseases and heal any curse?" An idea was happening.

"Yeah! You can't miss this!"

"All aboard, students."

Char picked up the pamphlet. "You've done so much for me, Carmen. Now I'm gonna do something for you." It was time to do what Carmen had taught her to do: commit petty theft.

-

"No roughhousing! Do not make me turn this carriage around!"

Char was going over her heist notes which consisted of:
1. sneak into castle
2. steal hat
3. lift curse
Very thought our and detailed plan, as we can tell.

"Hey, Char?"

Panic. "What was that, Saph?" Void hurriedly hid their notes. "I was just saying we're getting close to the castle." The two walked over to look out over at it. "Emperor Belos built it as a symbol of unity. Before he came to power, folks were doing magic all wrong. He taught us that the only way to respect what the titan gave us is through joining covens. It's a shame Bee couldn't make it. She would have loved this trip."

-

Bee is her room, leg still broken, being emo. She looked over at the Sasha poster.

"Shut up."

Bee is transphobic. #canceled.

-

"So, Saph, would you say this Belos guy is, like, powerful?" Char asked for no particular reason whatsoever. Saph giggled. "No offense to Carmen, but the Emperor's the most skilled witch to ever live. He can even talk to the titan." The carriage landed and the students got out.

"Now, the Emperor's assistant will be your tour guide. Please don't make me regret taking you here."

The students stepped onto the drawbridge-ish thing, bringing them closer to Shikiflora, a place nobody wants to be. "Children of Hexside, Emperor Belos welcomes you to his castle. We're honored by visits from students. You'll soon be a part of a coven. Some lucky few may even find their home here, in the mighty Emperor's Coven."

"She looked at me!"

"Wow. Some."

"You are the future of the Isles. My job is to teach you its past." The tour group walked inside, being greeted with the sight of scouts doing scout things. They walked on. "Today, the Isles are a place of peace and prosperity, but that wasn't always the case." They stopped in front of a painting of witches dancing around a fire. Fun fact: that painting is based off of a real one but in the real one the witches are all nakey so the animators of course had to make a few adjustments.

"Up until fifty years ago, witches and demons practiced wild magic during what we called the Savage Ages. Witches had access to corrupt knowledge and that dishonored the titan." The titan is dead, he does not give two shits about what you do. "That was until our great Emperor ascended to the throne and taught witches how to use magic properly. Our next stop is the Emperor's personal collection of relics."

"Oh, Char, you'll like this, it's where- huh?" Saph and Koda saw Char trying to vent. "Love me a properly ventilated castle." Smooth as sandpaper, blondie. 

Legend of Korra pushed the doors open. "The Relic Room. These items are reminders of our great Emperor's overwhelming power. From the curious and mighty-" They passed the Oracle Sphere.

"Ooooh."

"To the very handy-" They passed the Green Thumb Gauntlet.

"I could grow such beautiful things with that."

"And even the most valuable." They passed the Healing Hat. "Come along children." Char was about to snatch the Healing Hat before Koda grabbed her wrist and pulled her out. Koda, do you mind? Kinda trying to heal my found mother here. 

"Here at the Emperor's Coven, we require members with sophistication, elegance and grace." The door slammed open, revealing Sasha, covered in leaves and lacking all three of the things Dora the Explorer just named. Char made sure to hide. "Ah! Make way for Ms.Sasha Mendoza, students."

"Oh my gosh! It's the head of the coven!"

"Yes, and if I'm not mistaken, she's on her way to see the Emperor himself. Let's all wish her luck."

"Good luck, Ms.Sasha!"

Sasha sighed. "Thank you, students. Good luck with puberty." And then she walked away. "This way children." Kikimiki led the group away, but instead of following, Char decided to do some spying, meaning she followed Sasha to the throne room.

Sasha cleared the leaves from her hair and stepped inside, greeted with the sight of Emperor Belos. Char peered in through the keyhole.

"I am at your service, Emperor Belos." The witch knelt before him.

"Just a moment, Sasha." He split open a palisman and used it as an eyedropper. "Ah, thats better."

Char's hand flew to void's mouth, stifling a gasp. She ran off, not wanting to see whatever happened next.

"How's the hunt for the Owl Lady? I heard you attempted a raid this morning."

"Yes, but we were-"

"Unsuccessful? Yes, that was obvious enough." Belos stood up. "It's been a little over a month since you promise to bring me the Owl Lady. Well, where is she?"

"If I just had more time, I-"

"I'm getting bored of your excuses, Sasha. Don't worry, I'll give you the time you need. Bring the Owl Lady to me by twilight. She'll join the Emperor's Coven and in return, I'll heal her little curse. But if you fail.." He dug his armored glove into his armchair. "You will be stripped of your rank and banished from my coven. You do know what happens to covenless witches, don't you?"

"I- I understand. I will not fail." Her tone was assertive, confident. She then exited the throne room.

-

Into the birdie house where Mama Carmen is knitting. "Yeah, something tells me Char's gonna like having a cape." She held the blue cape up in front of her. "Cape? I thought you were making cake." King was in absolute shock.

"You thought I was knitting a cake?"

"I- uh- anyway, if there's no cake, then I have to get to work." He scampered off the couch and ran into the kitchen. "Look at us two, being all generous to that kid. You know, when she first got here, I thought we were going to eat her. But now I only think of that, like, sometimes."

"Yeah, they've changed the feel of this house." Carmen lifted up a picture of Char at an eat or die contest. "Well, it always had a good heart, but was impatient and bit off more than void could chew. But despite all that I think she's finally growing up."

-

Back to Char trying to do thief stuff. She peered out the window at the students boarding the bus. "Please don't notice I'm gone. Please don't notice I'm gone. Please don't notice I'm- boarding the bus?" Char smiled back at Char. "Huh?" A finger tapped the blonde's shoulder. Void turned around, seeing Saph and Koda maintaining three illusion circles.  "Oh guys, I uh-"

"You were planning on stealing the Healing Hat, weren't you?" Saph held up Char's Healing Hat Heist notes. The blonde sighed. "You got me. But you don't understand. Carmen has this curse and it's zapping away her magic and-"

"Char, no matter what, you can't steal this hat."

Koda popped up. "But you can borrow it!"

"Hey! I wanted to say that." Saph turned back towards Char. "We learned about Carmen's curse from your notes. We're totally gonna help you!"

"Thanks, guys." The demigirl smiled. "I know exactly what we gotta do. It's time for a heist!"

Insert heist shenanigans that involved making Kikimora do her little dancey dance.

The trio walked into the relic room. "Healing Hat, you're Carmen's last hope." She lifted the hat and it started to glow a bit. "I- I can feel it. I can feel the magic flowing."

"Me too!" Char looked over at Koda as he picked up the Oracle Sphere. "Finally! I'll know how to become my best self!" He held out the sphere as another Koda appeared and whispered "You're always your best self." And now real Koda is sobbing.

Meanwhile, Saph made muscular tree arm. "Woah!" She put the gauntlet back. "I just wanted to try it."

The three of them amassed in the center of the room. "Now we can cure Carmen and get this hat back before anyone knows it's gone."

I will know

The teens gasped. "We need to go. Now." But before they could do that, metal doors came down, blocking the actual doors. Not to worry, though! Saph has the beacon hand! "Stand back." They said before making a muscular tree punch through the door.

"Sasha, think." She paced back and forth. "You've given your entire life to this coven, you can't lose it. What's Carmen's weakness? She has no attachments, no friends. Think!" She slammed her fist onto the wall, looking over as a door came crashing down.

"Come on, let's go!" Char urged the fruits before coming face to face with Sasha, who removed void's hood. "Why, if it isn't Carmen's human pet. How perfect." She had an almost sadistic smile on her face. "Aren't I lucky to find you here?"

"Stay away! If you touch us, Carmen will come after you so fast-"

She zapped in front of the demigirl. "That's the plan."

"Run, Char!" Saph attempted to use the plant hand to get Hugo away from Sasha but it was to no avail. Alright, Koda's turn to be badass now. "Wrong move, Sasha. It's two against one and you don't stand a chance against-" Sasha poofed the illusion Koda and proceeded to assault a minor.

"Now, that doesn't belong to you." Sasha used some magic to try and grab the Healing Hat but Char held onto it. After a bit, it ripped into two and faded away into nothing. "No! I needed that to heal your sister!" Sasha grabbed Char by the hood. "Ha, these decrepit relics are useless." She turned her attention to Saph and Koda. "If you want see you're friend again, deliver this too Carmen." She tossed Hugo at them and Hugo flew off with the children.

-

The door opened. "I spy with my little eye something coming this way!" Thank you, Hooty, for the report.

"Char!"

"Wait! Wait for me!" King pushed out a cart with a whole ass cake on it. "You're not the only one who knows dark magic." He displayed his box of cake mix and the opened the top of the cake. "Now stop your gawking and load me in!"

Carmen placed the child inside the cake and then there was a knock at the door. Carmen opened it, cape in hand, but instead of seeing Char, they saw Saph and Koda, looking like they had just seen some shit. 

"Carmen, we have some bad news."

The demiwoman looked up, seeing Hugo, eyes glowing blue. They knew exactly what this was supposed to mean. Oh, that fucking bitch.

-

Sasha stood outside the castle, awaiting her sister's arrival. "Come on, Carmen. You would be late when I need you most." She groaned. Belos stood at a balcony, watching and judging you. And then suddenly, in a flash of light, there was Carmen Mendoza, Ollie in hand, ready to kick some ass. Hugo brushed right past Sasha, implanting into the wall, cracking it.

"Sister, I see that you got my invitation to a witch's duel." Carmen wasn't here for small talk. She was here to get Char back. Magic fireball after magic fireball pelted Sasha's surroundings. She just barely blocked another attack and then summoned Hugo, firing some blue magic at Carmen, who nullified the attack.

"Where is she?!"

"Easy now." 

Carmen stopped in her tracks.

"The human is safe." Sasha brought Hugo down and Char came flying out in a giant blue bubble.

"Carmen!"

Sasha stepped in front of the blue orb. "You can have her back, provided you do as I say. Renounce your wild ways and join the Emperor's Coven. He can help heal your curse!" She was almost pleading with her sister. Key word: almost.

"Don't believe everything that bonehead tells you. He doesn't want to heal me, he wants to control me." Carmen hates the government and that ain't stopping anytime soon.

"Then I'll have to take you in by force."

"You've always looked down on me because I'm wild, but fortunately that just made me work harder than you." Carmen brought Ollie down, making a giant owl. They then rammed into Sasha, knocking her into the air. 

Look- writer Char honestly has no idea how to describe this part. Just- flash, flash, magic, magic, I can't really keep up, okay? I have to be honest.

Sasha shot some magic down at Char's bubble. "Char!" Carmen flew down, making sure Char's bubble didn't fly over the edge. Right as Carmen assured themself that Char was fine, Sasha almost came down on them but they managed to dodge it. Carmen's next move: make a bunch of Hooties and make them tie up Sasha. She then drew a magic circle and shot as much magic as she could at Sasha. 

The older sister brought the humans orb in front of her. Carmen dispelled the magic. "Stop hiding behind Char, you coward!" She shouted.

"It's sad to see you slowing down, sister. Tell me, is it the curse?"

Carmen looked up. Her gem was wavering, becoming darker. Char noticed this and began banging her fists on her orb. "Carmen! You're gem!"

"Maybe it is the curse...but then how pathetic are you that you can't best me at my worst?" Carmen made multiple magic circles, shooting more magic at Sasha, who made a force field for herself just in time. "Maybe you are stronger than me but that made me work smarter. I become sharp, crafty."

"A lap-dog for a tyrant!"

Char managed to break herself free from her orb, after poking at it a lot with a horn(?).

"You always thought you were better than me, that I could never beat you in anything!"

"I am better than you!"

"Then why were you so easy to curse?!" Her hand flew to mouth as she realized what she had just said. Had she actually just said that out loud? No, this was some weird fantasy. Right?

That memory came back to Carmen, of that wavering silhouette. And suddenly, that wavering silhouette was a clear vision of a teenaged Sasha.

"A-and I have the power to remove it. If you would just let me explain-"

Instead of letting her sister explain, Carmen rammed her into her, knocking her back into the wall.

"Carmen, stop! You're magic!" Char ran in between the two of them and suddenly, Sasha made her float. "Human, that orb was for your protection." Sasha then tossed the literal fucking child over the edge.

"Char!" Carmen was quick to make a circle, stopping Char from hitting the spikes/thorns/whatever you want to call them at the bottom. Carmen could feel it, she could feel the magic starting to drain. Char could see it. "Carmen, stop! You'll run of out magic!"

"It's my power, kid. And before you showed up, I spent my whole life wasting it." 

Sasha created a magic hand, that began pushing Char down while the magic of Carmen was trying to keep her up. 

"Carmen, no, no, no!"

The gem was becoming darker by the second. The demiwoman's eyes were beginning to turn black. "Alright, kid, listen to me." They began. "I'm going away and...I don't know if I can bounce back this time. Watch over King. Remember to feed Hooty."

"Please, no..."

"And, Char, thank you, for being in my life."

There was a shout of agony from the witch, there was a release of magic power, one that could be seen for miles. Char began to fall but was caught just in time by Ollie. Ollie quickly flew them up and they ran over to Carmen. "Carmen..."

Carmen's groan was soon replaced with the shriek of an owl. And then suddenly the entirety of Carmen was replaced by the Owl Beast. It marched towards Char for a second before being restrained by Sasha. "Come along now, sister. Now we can let the healing begin." She looked up at Belos, who walked away, presumably pleased.

"You monster!" Char charged at the brunette witch but was pushed forward onto the ground. Sasha grabbed Ollie before saying "Leave human." She brought Hugo down as the drawbridge began pulling them closer to the door.  "Carmen already has a family here. Stop pretending you're part of it." And then they were gone.

-

Charlotte Tyler Magnolia Jones had never felt so powerless, so useless. She couldn't do anything. Carmen had been taken over by the Owl Beast and then the Owl Beast had been taken by Sasha. There was nothing Char could do. She'd tried to get in. All night, she had tried to get in. Now the sun was rising. She had failed.

As they walked through the woods, their footsteps were slow, quiet. Hooty was just now waking up. "Oh, Char. There you are."

"Hi, Hooty." She pushed the door open, walking inside and seeing a giant cake on the coffee table. Not just that, there were streamers and balloons. There also appeared to be a present on the table. King popped out of the cake, panting. "The cake is me!" He looked around. "Hey, um, where's Carmen?"

Neither King nor Hooty had ever seen Char Jones cry before then. Before King asked that godforsaken question. Before she collapsed to her knees, crying.

TO BE CONTINUED