CH. 11: CONFESSION
Finally, this is the chapter you've all been waiting for! It's quite a bit short, but I do hope the romance between them is enough. Thanks!
"So honey now, take me into your loving arms. Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars. Place your head on my beating heart. I'm thinking out loud. Maybe we found love right where we are."--Thinking Out Loud, ED SHEERAN
His words hurt like dagger to me. Tears flow out of my eyes like an endless river, draining me physically and mentally. I sob harder, remembering the way Nero's parents treated me. They treated me like I'm a garbage, and worst, Nero didn't even protect me. I run across the hallway with my tear-streaked face, earning a look from people passing by.
I take a seat on the ground in the field, glad that there's no one out here as everybody is preparing for their Thanksgiving break. I try to wipe the tears off of my face, but the tears continue to cascade down my cheeks. The pain is my chest is undeniably unbearable. My shirt is soaked with tears.
"Derek?"
My eyes meet Caleb's, and I lunge myself at him, wrapping my arms around him, then cry harder. Caleb immediately wraps his arms around me, rubbing my back as he soothes me.
"What's wrong? Tell me what happened." Caleb asks me worriedly.
I end up telling Caleb about what happened today; I told him about Nero and his parents, and the words that Nero said to his parents, that he would never associate himself with me. Caleb listens to me throughout my story, and never once he interrupts me. His hand constantly rubs my back, which helps me somehow to tell my story without crying out loud, although the tears are still there.
Caleb holds my hand, rubbing circles on my skin with his thumb, and gives me a reassuring smile. I hug him once again, liking the comfort he brings. I may have known Caleb for a short time, but he has become my friend since I started studying here.
"Would you like to go to my room, or go somewhere else?" he asks me, his tone gentle.
"Your room is fine," I sniff.
"My room it is, then," he chuckles.
Caleb pulls me closer to him, feeling the warmth of his presence as he slings his arm over my neck, then leads me to the direction of this room. I smile despite the feeling of sadness and the heartbreak.
As we begin walking, a voice that's so familiar shouts. We halt into a stop. I turn around slowly and see Nero, who's standing meters away from me. His eyes flicker between me and Caleb. His shirt is crinkled, and there are beads of sweat forming on his forehead. His chest is heaving up and down hard, as if he's been running. Caleb steps in front of me, shielding me from Nero's sight.
"Derek, please, let's talk." Nero pleads, his voice cracking at the end.
"You have nothing to talk about with him," Caleb says as he glares at Nero. My lips remain shut, afraid that I'd say something bad. Tears brim in my eyes again, and my breath hitches as I see Nero's face. He looks depressed. "You already hurt him, and you can't take that away. Can't you see? Derek needs space from you."
"Look, man, this is none of your business." Nero spats, his face softening when he glances at me. "Derek, please, let's talk." Nero takes a step forward. Caleb mirrors him, and pushes Nero back rather roughly. "Fuck off, man."
"Stay away." Caleb grits, his voice low.
"Derek, please!"
"What part of stay away didn't you understand?" Caleb pushes him again, and this time, Nero retaliates by throwing the first punch. "You piece of shit."
And just like that, two boys are fighting in front of me. Punches are being thrown on each other's face. They grapple each other, eyes intense as they glare at each other. Panicking, I try to stop them but my voice is not heard. Nero throws another punch, but Caleb successfully ducks and punches him in the gut instead.
There's already a purple bruise forming on Nero's cheek, and Caleb's lower lip is busted. They size each other up before grappling again; each of them tries to get the upper-hand. Caleb knees Nero in the stomach, which makes him stumble on the ground, then Nero grabs his foot and drags him down. He straddles Caleb and throws another punch on his face before Caleb turns them around and throws another set of punches.
"The two of you, stop!" I grab the hem of Caleb's shirt and drags him out. Nero, on the other hand, stands up and readies himself to throw another punch. I step in between them. "Seriously, both of you, stop. I'm tired, okay? I'm so fucking tired. The last thing I want to be is a referee for the both of you."
Both boys just stare at each other, their eyes still intense, hands still in a fast. Caleb is the first one to break it off, letting out a big sigh.
"Are you going to be okay?" Caleb asks me. "Talk to him then. He seems desperate enough for him to fight me." I nod my head at him, giving him a gentle smile. "But if you need me, you know where to find me, all right?"
"Thanks, Caleb." Caleb begins walking away.
"Wait, man!" Nero calls Caleb. Caleb turns around and arches a brow at him. Here we go again. I let out a sigh, exhausted and literally done for the day. Nero scratches the back of his head before looking at Caleb. "I'm sorry for punching you. It's never my intention to fight you, you know. I just really wanted to talk to Derek and my emotions haven't been great in the last few hours. I'm sorry."
I'm shocked. Caleb is as well, but a smirk forms on his lips a few seconds later. "Yeah, man. All good. I'm sorry, too. You need to ice that, though. And I'll ice mine as well. You really threw a good punch out there."
"You, too, man. Thank you."
Caleb's figure retreats until I no longer see him. Nero turns around, his eyes meeting mine. Tears well up in his eyes again, his lips pursing as he watches me. He takes a step, one by one, until I'm within his reach.
Nero grabs my hand, pulling it up close until he can kiss the back of my hand. His eyes that I've come to love are full of sadness. Then he begins crying, wrapping his arms around me. My body goes rigid, my head blanking out for a moment, until I close my hand. This is when I can totally breathe freely, like I'm not being suffocated anymore. I wrap my arms around him, loving the warmth he carries around him. His words ring inside my head, making me numb, but I throw all of that outside the window.
Pulling away, Nero grabs my face and stares deep into my eyes. I reach out to his face and wipe the tears away while I'm still sobbing. He buries his face in the crook of my neck as he tightens his hold on me, as if I'd disappear at any moment. We stay like that in the field, glad that people are preparing for their Thanksgiving break, hugging each other.
Once our emotions have calmed down, Nero pulls away and wipes his face with the back of his head, chuckling at how messy he is.
"Derek..." Nero begins. I purse my lips. "I just want you to know that whatever I said out there, to my parents, they are not true. Derek. I can't lie to them anymore, and I don't want to hide my feelings for you anymore."
"Nero, calm down,"
"No, I don't want to calm down, Derek." Nero pinches the bridge of his nose as he turns around, frustration clear in his voice. He takes a deep breath before turning to face me again. "I listened to them once, but I'm not going to do it again. It was a mistake. I stopped talking to you before because of them. They found out that you were my boyfriend, and they threatened to cut me out of their lives."
"Nero –" I try to calm him down, but he shakes his head.
"Listen to me, Derek," Nero grabs my shoulders, staring into my eyes. I'm lost. They are just as beautiful as the first time I've seen them. "I'm tired of hiding myself. I'm tired of pretending that you're not important. You fucking deserve better things, better people in your life, and I'm trying to be all those things. I want to be deserving of you. So I fucking told my parents that they could just fuck off and cut me out of their lives. I'd find any way to support my study. I don't want you gone in my life, Derek. I fucking want you. I've always belonged with you. I love you. I fucking love you so much it's driving me crazy!"
"What?" I ask him, mouth agape.
"You heard me right, Derek." Nero runs a hand across his hair before turning around and shouting. "You heard that, mom, dad! I fucking love Derek. I love him! I've loved Derek since high school, and I will keep loving him until the end of time!"
"Nero!" I blush at his words, pulling him close.
"You heard me, right? Yeah? Yeah?"
"Yes, Nero, I heard you. Loud and clear."
"Good, good,"
Nero stares at me intently before leaning down, placing his hand at the back of my neck, then pulls me close until our lips are touching. With eyes wide and heart somersaulting, I try to keep my senses at bay, especially now that this is really happening. Nero places his free hand on my back, pulling me close, then deepens the kiss, tilting his head to the side.
Fireworks burst in my stomach as I kiss him back, liking how soft his lips are on mine. He kisses me gently, as if he's savoring the taste of my lips, as if I'd break any second. Nero bites on my lower lip, making me gasp, and he takes that chance to slip his tongue in my mouth. Our teeth clash, making him chuckle, before his tongue roams in my mouth, tasting every inch and corner.
He tastes like the chocolate spread he put on his bed for breakfast and a touch of mint from toothpaste. I groan when he bites my lower lip again before pulling away. He rests his forehead on mine, finally smiling.
"You have no idea how long I've wanted to kiss you," he breathes.
"Are you kidding me?" I ask him, breaking into a grin. "I think I have as much idea as you. I wanted to kiss you for so long but I respect your wishes. Nero..."
"What?"
"Is it really true... that you... you..."
"That I love you?" I nod my head meekly, blush painting my cheeks as he lets out a chuckle. I look down, suddenly finding the ground interesting. We have nice feet. "I love you, Derek ever since then. My love for you has never really gone away despite the no communication thing."
"Um, I love you, too, but I guess you already know that." I tell him, the blush I have on my cheeks tinting even more. Nero laughs, pulling me close and placing his lips on my forehead.
"Yeah, you make me feel loved every single day."
He touches my cheek before leaning down and placing his lips again on mine. His lips linger for a moment before he kisses the tip of my nose, then my forehead. He wraps his arms around me and takes a deep breath. I sigh in contentment, finally and truly happy now that I'm with him.
"Can we be boyfriends again? Officially?" he asks me.
"Of course. You already know the answer to it."
Nero chuckles. "I do, but I just want to hear you say it."
"What about your parents, Nero?" I ask him.
At some point, it has to be discussed, and this is the right time to discuss it. If his parents are going to cut him off in their lives, that would automatically mean no savings, and they are going to stop paying for his tuition and what all parents pay for their child.
Of course, getting disowned by your own parents is a shitty feeling. Nero seems conflicted, but there's a look of determination swimming in his eyes. Because of me, he's forced to tell his parents about himself and me, and I know that he planned a different approach on it.
"I can manage," Nero only says.
"Nero..."
"Derek, seriously, I'll be fine." He smiles at me reassuringly. "I'm somewhere between okay and not okay. I'm glad that you're mine now, like, for real. But at the same time, I don't like what happened between me and my parents. But they are my parents. They'd come around, even if they don't like gays. I'm still their son."
"We need to put some ice on that," I point to his bruising cheek. He laughs, nodding his head. "It's already swelling. Caleb did throw a good punch there."
"Yeah, but did you see my punch?"
"All right, all right, he received a beating as well." I lightly push him.
"Your Thanksgiving offer, is that still up?" Nero asks, giving me a half-hearted smile. I roll my eyes at him playfully, snaking my arm around his waist, grinning. "I'll take that as a yes." Nero leans down again and kisses me on the lips, which I gladly accept.
I pull my phone and send a quick text to Caleb, telling him what happened between me and Nero. He just replies with an eggplant and waterdrop emoji, which makes me blush. Apparently, Nero notices and takes a look at my phone. When he sees the message, he looks at me with an amused grin, his eyes twinkling in mischief, the bruise on his cheek already swelling.
"Would you like that eggplant now?"
"Nero!" Blushing profusely, I hit his back and he groans. "Seriously, stop talking about eggplant. And no, I don't want any of it right now."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, Nero, now hush before I fucking punch you in the face,"
Nero clicks his tongue, then purses his lips before grabbing my head. We head to our dorm where his parents once stood earlier, both of them gone now. Nero grabs the polaroid photos in his drawer, pinning them back on the wall. He admires the pictures before pushing me on the bed.
Sprawled, Nero crawls on top of me before kissing me straight on the lips, his hand resting on my hip while his other arm is propped next to my face, supporting himself. My feet wrap around him, pulling him close to me.
Pulling away, he grins and says, "Have I told you I love you?"
"Hmm, no you haven't," I muse, shaking my head.
"I love you," then he kisses me on the lips again. I let out a moan when he bites on my lower lip, his hands roaming around my body. Breathless, he rests his forehead on mine and chuckles. "You make me crazy."
"Oh, well, I love you, too." I laugh, then we go back to kissing. I love kissing him.
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