Chapter Five

    Meadow

    “Grayson, come in, over.”

      “Meadow, this is Grayson, over.”

      I giggle and flip onto my back. Staring at my dark bedroom ceiling, I put the walkie talkie to my lips again. “It’s weird being home,” I admit quietly.

      Grayson doesn’t respond as quick this time. “But isn’t it better, being in your own bed? Being able to eat what you want and go outside and everything?”

      I purse my lips together and sigh, glad Grayson can’t hear me. “Yes, but it’s just so much easier there.”

      “Easier how?”

      “It’s almost surreal. I don’t have to worry about anything, every day is a routine and it’s like the outside world is on pause. It’s like my life is on pause. I never have to think or plan or anything.”

      Grayson doesn’t say anything so I set my walkie talkie down. On nights like tonight, I’d love to be able to lie here in silence, just thinking and dreaming. But I can’t do that. My parents are fighting again about me and I’ve learned that getting involved doesn’t help anything.

      “You need to be strong for her, Sara!” my father bellows. “She’s dying! Do you think she wants her last few months to be filled with her mother sobbing over her instead of making happy memories together? Do you want her last months to be like that?”

      My mother’s words can’t be understood through the amount she’s balling. I want to go and hug her, to cry for how much I’m hurting her, but I can’t. If I do, I’ll break down and my father is right. I don’t want my time left to be filled with tears.

      Quietly, I slip out of my bed. I grab a warm sweater and my jacket along with a pair of running shoes. My parents are in the living room to I silently go through the back door in the kitchen, wanting nothing more than to get away from their yelling voices.

      The icy wind whips my hair around me as I move onto the street. The freshness of it wakes me up instantly and I’m glad to be out here, rather than in my warm bed.

      Grayson will be furious when he realizes that I’m out alone this late at night and to be honest, I know it’s not the best idea. But I keep my eyes peeled and my ears listening and luck out when I don’t see a single person on the walk to his house.

      At his window, I lightly rap my windows on the glass. I don’t see anything in his room but darkness and I start to wonder if he’s asleep. When he appears in front of me though I’m not surprised. His mind races too fast for him to sleep this quickly, especially with everything that’s going on.

      “Meadow?” he whispers once he opens the glass. “What the hell are you doing?”

      I ignore his worried tone. “Grab a blanket and some warm clothes,” I instruct.

      “But Meadow it’s-“

      “Go get them.”

      “Can’t we-“

      “I’m waiting, Grayson.”

      He sighs and backs away from the window. A few minutes later he walks around the side of his house and meets me in the grass.

      “Can you tell me why you’re out here right now?” he asks with a breath. He wraps the blanket around my shoulders and takes my hand in his.

      “My parents were fighting,” I explain in a soft voice. “I couldn’t sleep and I didn’t want to be around that.”

      Grayson nods, understanding. “So where are we going?”

      I give him a small smile. “You’ll see.”

      On the way there neither of us speaks. Instead we listen to the quiet, silent night and enjoy it while we can. It’s like we’re the only people awake in the whole town and have this night to ourselves. Right now, only the two of us matter and I wish it could be like this all the time.

      “You worry me,” Grayson says a while later. There’s a hint of a smile on his lips so I squeeze his hand. “But I like it. You’re spontaneous. And maybe a little dangerous.”

      I grin and press into his side. “I like to live in the moment.”

      We reach the bottom of the hill that the train tracks rest on top of and Grayson stops. Turning to me, he drops my hand to adjusts the blanket on my shoulders.

      “Okay, Meadow. What are we doing this moment?”

      I lay half the blanket down on the ground and gesture to it. “Get in.”

      “What?”

      “Get in,” I repeat with a smile. He gives me a confused look. “Stop questioning things that you’ll find out in a second.”

      Defeated, he lies down in the red, wool blanket and I get down beside him. Before he can ask what we’re doing for the hundredth time I pull the rest of the blanket over us.

      “I feel like an omelet.”

      Grayson laughs and turns to sling his arm over my waist. “I kind of too do. But in a good kind of way.”

      I giggle and knot my fingers in his hair. “It’s so peaceful here. Can we do this every night?”

      “No, because you’ll get hypothermia,” Grayson replies. “But we can tonight.”

      I know that if it were any other night, things would be different. If I didn’t have a heart defect he wouldn’t let me stay out here, saying I’m silly. But because I’ll be gone soon and this is what I want to do before I go, he’s letting me.

      I watch the stars with the best view I can possibly get. Without the lights of the town to brighten anything and the noise of cars, everything is as perfect as it can get. I can see all the constellations and a few brighter stars that are planets. I find a star directly above us that twinkles differently than all the other ones and smile.

      “Grayson,” I murmur, nudging him away. His sleep-covered face lifts up and I laugh at his half-open eyes. “Look.” I point up at the light. “That one’s our star, okay?”

      He looks up and his mouth hangs open at little as he stares. “Our star?” he wonders.

      “Yes,” I reply. I don’t want to ruin the night but I have to say it. “When I’m gone, look for that star. That’s where I’ll be waiting.”

      He hugs me tighter and buries his head in my neck. “I don’t want you to go.”

      “I know,” I whisper, letting my fingers playing in my hair. “Neither do I.”